Celebration of the Life of My Uncle Mike
My Uncle Mike never wanted a funeral... he wanted a big BBQ and a party. In November, a BBQ just wasn't happening, but we tried our hardest to give him the best send off possible. My Uncle Mike was such a funny guy and there were so many hilarious stories to lighten things up when we got too sad. It's so bittersweet because that has always been my Uncle Mike's role in our family; when bad or sad things happen we could always count on him to give us a big hug while we cried for a minute and then he would say the funniest and most irreverent thing possible to make us laugh. I kept looking around for him to make us laugh and that broke my heart. Lucky for all of us, my Aunt Bonnie and their kids stepped right up and fulfilled that role and I know that my My Uncle Mike was so proud of them.
This has been my most significant loss. It hurts. This really hit our family hard. I have lost grandparents and that was sad but they were older and they were...well...grandparents. My Uncle Mike was young (to me) and in the prime of his life. Even though he had been very sick with multiple types of cancer...I don't think that you are ever prepared. This was my mom's little brother (her favorite brother as she likes to say) and he was our favorite uncle...hands down. He truly was the shining star of our family. Uncle Mike was always there in our lives...such a strong presence. That has left a huge hole for me, my siblings, husband, and my children. We all looked up to him so much. He was always a wonderful father figure to my siblings and me. Someone we could look to to see what dads are supposed to look like and act like. He was also one of the few remaining members of the church in our family and Tyler and I really appreciated the example that he set for us. My Uncle Mike was just such a loving guy...someone you could always count on...a provider of great advice on so many subjects...and a tremendous role model. I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have of eternal families. I know without a doubt that I will see him again but he is missed by our whole family...immeasurably. I've heard it said that we grieve because we love. Because we loved big we have grieved and continue to grieve big. I guess in the grand scheme of things it's a small price to pay for the love and blessings we have received. How lucky we are to have had something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
My aunt and cousins asked Tyler to put together a video of pictures of my uncle set to his favorite music picked out by my cousins and aunt to play at the viewing and funeral. This was truly a labor of love. Tyler worked on it for two days straight and had tears rolling down his face most of the time. I must have watched the video at least 20 times and couldn't get through it without crying. It turned out so fantastic. You could truly see that even though my uncle's life was short, it was completely full, and packed with love and joy. What more could you ask for? My mom came over and I helped her write her eulogy. My uncle had a deal with her...he said to her once, "If I croak I want you to speak at my funeral okay?" and my mom said, "Only if you speak at mine, if I croak first." It was an honor to help her fulfill his wishes. Tyler also put together a powerpoint presentation to go along with my mom's life sketch of my uncle.
Smiling through tears
All my siblings traveled to Boise for his funeral. Even my sister and her whole family came from Kansas City. Family truly was the bright spot in this whole experience. All we wanted to do was be with my aunt and our cousins. It felt so much better to be together. My mom, aunts and uncles, and several cousins also traveled to be there. When we arrived we quickly checked into our hotel. My sister Jordin and her family were already there. It was so great to see her!! Kansas City is too far away. Then we headed to the viewing. I can't even express my love for my aunt and my cousins. They are the most amazing people and I am proud to know them. There was candy flowing and kids running around (mine included) and I think my uncle would've loved that. The kids were not afraid to look at his body or touch him. It really was the sweetest thing. My cousin, Justin, gave the most beautiful family prayer before the casket was closed. I saw him assuming his new role as head of his family. I was so proud of him. He is such a great guy and I know that he will (and the rest of my cousins) take good care of my aunt. My brother, Kirk, and his family arrived at the viewing and I was so happy to see him. My little brother and sister have grown into the most incredible people and parents...my cousins too. It is really neat to see.
After the viewing we went over to my aunt and uncle's house to eat and hang out with the family. We laughed and laughed most of the night. I KNOW my uncle would've wanted it that way. Late that night we headed back to our hotel and met up in my mom's suite....just my mom, me, Tyler, and my siblings. We laughed and cried until nearly three am. It doesn't happen all that often that we are all together at the same time but when it does it is a beautiful thing.
You've gotta love this hazy, blurry, self-timer, 2:30am selfie!!
We were all staying at the same hotel in Boise which was great. We all had suites with a living room area and pull out couch and a bedroom area to hold all of our children!! The hotel serves a nice breakfast and has a pool so the cousins loved it. They met up early in the dining room for breakfast and then we headed to the church.
The McClellans together again...minus Stacey's husband John. Back row: Kameron, Kelley, Ramon, Mom, me, Reilly, Meki, Stacey, Jordin, Kirk, Tyler. Front row: Kaiya, Ailey, RJ, Kaiden, Bryn, Jaylah, Elle, River and Dane.
We met first at the church for a family luncheon. My aunt and uncle's ward members did such a nice job. You can tell how much they are loved by their ward. It was good to visit with family and friends of my uncle. After the lunch we gathered in the relief society room as a family to say one last goodbye to my uncle and my aunt asked Tyler to say the family prayer before everyone went into the chapel. I am so grateful to be married to a man who truly loves my family as much and as deeply as if he had been born into it. I couldn't ask for a better husband.
The celebration of my uncle that day was a beautiful, spiritual, and moving tribute to him. No one likes a funeral but it does serve a purpose. It gives us something to do...some formal ceremonial/symbolic way to pay tribute and it gives us a way to say goodbye. I really did find comfort in the hymns, prayers, and scriptures. I am so glad that I have my faith. My cousin Wendy spoke and talked about her dad and shared funny stories and memories. She was a rock and did a wonderful job. My uncle sang with a men's choir and they came and performed. Tears were rolling down the faces of those men. As I sat in the packed chapel I was so proud to be related to Mike Ellersick. He made such a difference in so many people's lives.
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| Clockwise: Haylee, Grace, Miley, Kameron, Kaiden, Dane, Kaiya, Ailey and Jaylah. |
I love the love that there is between my children and my cousins' children. They are all cousins through and through and they enjoy being together. The lake has been such a glue to bind our family together through the generations. My kids just adore my Uncle Mike and Aunt Bonnie. They have done such a great job of showing such love and interest in my children and my kids think the absolute world of both of them. They knew they were and are loved by them...what a gift!
Uncle Mike and Kameron...So sweet!!
Everyone went into the cultural hall for dessert (my uncle's favorite treats) and to watch the video Tyler made and my mom's presentation. She did phenomenal job!! She told funny stories and poked fun at my uncle because the only thing that my uncle liked better than laughing was laughing at other people...himself included!! It was loving tribute of a big sister to her little brother. My uncle Mike's best friend, Jeff, flew in all the way from Japan where he is currently living, to be there. He told more hilarious stories about my uncle and their escapades. My cousin, Jennifer, spoke and so did her son, Jackson...who was best buddies with his grandpa. My aunt Bonnie also got up and spoke. It was wonderful and I think my uncle would've have been quite pleased.
After that we had to let all the kids burn off all that dessert. They were getting wild. The ward did such a nice job on the "party" in the cultural hall. Gorgeous desserts were set on beautiful tables. It looked like a wedding reception. It was so lovely. Plus, if you are going to be crying, laughing, crying, laughing, it does help to have a cream puff in your mouth. Right?
Back at the hotel the kids took over the pool and we ordered pizza. They had a great time and were able to release some of their pent up energy.
Girls Table: Bryn, Jaylah, Ailey, Kaiya, and River
Boys Table: Kaiden, RJ, Dane, and Kameron
Kirk, Meki, and their kids had to leave after that...Kirk had to be back to work in Salt Lake early the next day. It sucks living so far from each other. Lucky for us, Kirk and family will be coming up here for the holidays. We took a few pictures outside our hotel.
All my mom's grandkids!! We should've had her jump in the picture!! Darn it. They are a cute bunch.
The adults: Stacey, Kirk and his girlfriend, Meki, Tyler, Me, Kelley, Ramon (Jordin's husband), Jordin, and my mom. She will kill me for that picture of her...but she has the hardest time keeping her eyes open for pictures!! It's a real dilemma. But it's the only picture that even slightly turned out in the weird light so...sorry mom.
Then we went back to my aunt's house to be with family. All of our kids quickly disappeared outside into their enormous park-like backyard for hours of night games. The weather was really nice and mild. (When we left Boise it was nearly 60 degrees.) The kids played outside in the dark for hours while the adults visited. I will just say again how much I love and admire my aunt and my cousins. Wow. They were incredible and it was so nice to be together. But that is how my uncle would've wanted it to be. The hard part is not always looking for him... in the crowd, in the kitchen, outside riling up all the kids playing night games. He could always be found in the thick of things.
After another late stay at my aunt's house...some of us continued on back to our hotel. We put all our kids in bed and the adults met up again in my mom's suite. This time my cousin Paul, my uncle John, my uncle Steve, my aunt Margaret and their daughter Tania, joined us.
My cousin, Tania, Jordin, Kelley and Ramon
More stories were shared especially from my two uncles about their baby brother and all the trouble they got into. Glasses were raised and toasts were offered. It was a very special time especially to hear my uncle's brothers and sister talk about their memories of him and to hear my cousin Paul talk about his dad.
My cousin Paul, my Uncle John, My mom, and Stacey
Jordi, Kelley, Ramon and Tyler
My Uncle Steve and me. This is when my Uncle Steve uttered these now infamous words..."OH! Are we taking a FACE-Y??" Ha ha!! That made us all roll with laughter. A new phrase has been coined. My Uncle Steve was like..."What?! It's called a SELFIE? How the hell would I know?!" Ha ha!!
This get together again lasted until the wee hours of the morning despite all of us being completely wiped out but it was just too hard to say goodbye. Oh yeah...and this happened.
My Aunt Margaret hopped on Jordin's back for a piggy back ride!!
Aunt and Niece love!!
The next morning we all hit the road back to Spokane and North Idaho. Lucky for us, Jordin and her family were coming with us so we could spend Thanksgiving together at my mom's house. Despite the reason for the trip that don't think I will ever completely come to terms with, I am grateful for many things and I guess I will close out my gratitude month with this:
I am grateful for:
-My Heavenly Father and My Savior
-The Gospel
-Eternal Families
-Love
-Uncles
-Aunts
-Cousins
-My mom
-Siblings
-My husband
-My children
-My nieces and nephews
-My cousins' children who I love and are "nieces and nephews" to me
-Laughter through tears
-The Plan of Salvation
-Faith
-Health
-Humor
-Mike
-The knowledge that I am loved by my family and that they know that they are loved by me
Goodbye...for now. I love you!
