10 Things to Tell You: #4

10 Things to Tell You: How Do You Connect To Your Body?

And...it's another difficult writing prompt. How do I connect to my body? Good question.

I would say that I didn't for many years. But once I hit 40 and actually started *feeling* my body more...since it seemed to be falling apart and betraying me...I tuned in and started paying more attention. I had to. It was demanding notice.

I would say that in the last five years I have been learning about and experiencing more of the mind/body/spirit connection and trying to find balance. I have been so surprised to learn how truly our body keeps the score...with stress, trauma, anxiety...things like that. I am learning how everything really is connected. I don't know why this was such a shock to me but it was. It seems so obvious now. I have been working hard to try to have a healthy and loving relationship with my body. It hasn't been easy but I am listening to it more...because it has been screaming at me for the past several years...gut issues, hair loss, weight gain, low energy, anxiety, insomnia, elevated blood pressure, suddenly needing reading glasses, wrinkles...add to that the relentless noise of body issues. I am trying to learn to feel comfortable in my own skin...mentally and physically. It is a process.

I grew up in a home that was stressful and chaotic. It wasn't always a safe place. Exercise became my way of dealing with hard emotions and problems. It was a release for me. I was a child who played outside and played hard for as long as possible. I never came inside unless I absolutely had to. Living in Springdell was the perfect outlet...there was so much to do but when we moved to Kansas City and I was cooped up inside it was terrible. When I was a junior in high school I got a job at Meadowbrook Athletic Club. I started working in their childcare center and then moved up to the front desk. I got a free membership and worked out to my heart's content. I took every aerobics and fitness class that I could and hung out there with my coworkers and friends. When I had hard emotions to deal with I went for long walks or runs. I remember being in certain situations at home and not being able to deal with it anymore so I would grab my running shoes and hit the road. Many times I remember my mom chasing me down in the car to try to talk to me. Somehow exercise has always been an outlet for me. I always knew that it helped to relieve my anxiety and stress and helped me to problem solve. I have worked out regularly, 4-5 days a week, for the last 30 years. I have never been without a gym membership since I was 17 years old. It is a necessity for me. I know that I need that outlet both mentally and physically.

My relationship with food has been a journey as well. Up until having children I had always been tall and slim and I never had to worry about what I ate. I could eat what I wanted and not gain weight. Oh those were the days! I am also not a stress eater which is good but since I am a stress exerciser that was not always helpful. As a teenager I would sometimes get too skinny and had several uncomfortable conversations with my mother about that. She would ask me... did I think I had an eating disorder...did I feel compelled to exercise...did I think I needed to lose weight. No on all accounts. But my home life during high school was traumatic and there were times that I did lose weight that I didn't need to lose. College, while fun and exciting, was also stressful so I worked out a lot and didn't eat much due to being a poor college student. Several times my roommate and BFF Tiffany threatened to call my mom if I didn't start gaining some weight. I think she actually did call my mom once. At that time, I had just broken up with someone, I was taking a full and challenging course load, and I was working two jobs. My weight was 103 and I am 5'9. I don't blame her. I would have called her too. When I am stressed, worried, scared, or sad I literally cannot eat. I just shut down that way.

But despite all of that, food is one of the great loves of my life and it is something that I have been consciously mindful of since puberty. My stepfather, a runner and a jerk, often remarked on the foods that I ate. I felt like everything I ate was being noticed and judged which was weird since we very rarely had sweets, snacks, or desserts at our house. My mom loves salty and fatty foods and we had those things in abundance but as those aren't my go-to snacks I have been a fairly healthy eater from early on.

Marrying Tyler, who is a type 1 diabetic, made me even more mindful of the things that we ate and had in our home. I had to constantly think about what foods to buy and eat. Especially in the days before insulin pumps and continuous glucose monitors. Tyler has a HUGE sweet tooth which is TERRIBLE for a diabetic obviously and so we couldn't have a bunch of junk in the house or he would eat it. I have also had to think about how many carbs we were eating since Tyler had to calculate those after meals to know how much insulin he would need to take. Those were the days before carb counting was a thing. Mindful eating has been a part of our lives since we started dating.

After having kids we knew that we wanted to start them out on a healthy path. Since we have a one in four chance of our kids also being diabetic we often talked about having our kids eat healthy foods from the start. Then if they should become diabetic changing their diets wouldn't be such a traumatic  upheaval like it was for Tyler. Also, with Tyler's family's heart issues (and now Tyler's too) we have also been conscientious about not eating a super fatty diet.

When Reilly was a toddler and Kameron was a baby we had a few situations occur. Reilly got terrible food poisoning from a hot dog and Kameron had a severe milk allergy. Tyler and I made the decision to cut out meat from our kids diets and ours too, for the most part, and as Kam couldn't have any milk products and I was breastfeeding him we cut out dairy also. This was drastic but we felt that it was necessary. We were vegan WAY before being vegan was hip and cool. After Kam turned one and I stopped breastfeeding him we added dairy back into our diets. Kameron eventually out grew his milk allergy (thank goodness) but we kept our children eating a vegetarian diet. You cannot believe the blowback that we got for that decision. People, family, friends, acquaintances, even strangers were down right rude and extremely judgmental. So often people DEMANDED an explanation. Like we need to explain to you... random ward member... why our kids don't eat meat OR how they are getting enough protein? I don't think so. That still pisses me off and society has really evolved in the last 20 years. Let me just add that our pediatricians both in Utah and here in WA have always been super supportive of this and many times both of them have asked me for vegetarian recipes!! So suck it. See I am still hostile about it.

Our families didn't understand it either. My family was more supportive and my mom would always... although at times exasperatedly... make sure that there was always a vegetarian option. My mother in law, on the other hand, did not support our decision and was very vocal about her displeasure to everyone. What is absolutely hilarious and oh so ironic...is that my mother in law over the course of the last 20 years with her various health and gut issues is now a VEGAN!! Will wonders never cease?! I still can't believe it. Tyler's brother and his wife also eat almost no meat and dairy. Hmmm... times they are a changin'. Even on my side of the family my sister in law Meki eats very similar to us and my niece, Kaiya, is a vegetarian. I guess we aren't so weird after all. I mean my extended family still finds it weird that the Johnsons don't eat many snacks and treats but we aren't crazy about it...lake time, holidays, birthdays etc are times to splurge. We always have a dessert on Sunday but my kids never take chips or desserts or "snack type foods" in their lunches. They don't eat sugar cereal. We very rarely eat processed foods or fast food. We just don't have stuff like that in our house. Do they complain? YES! Have they thanked us? Also YES!

It has been interesting watching Reilly over the years. After moving out and living on her own she decided that she was going to eat whatever she liked. She has now come back around to our way of eating. She learned that eating whatever she liked with no regard for her body had consequences. Plus, it really is easier and cheaper to eat healthy. Reilly still eats a vegetarian diet. Kameron will eat meat when he is not eating at home... but at our house he still eats a vegetarian diet. But every one of our kids are mindful eaters and haters of processed foods. They have learned what Tyler and I have learned...that when we eat garbage we feel like garbage. I love that they all talk about how they feel after eating certain things. They are learning way earlier than me to feel connected to their bodies. It was so funny after the holidays this year when every single member of my family said to me at one point..."No more sweets and no more rich food!"

Our way of eating has been super helpful with all of Tyler's health issues like when he had his heart surgery and had a stent put in. He didn't have to change one thing in his diet. His heart issues are 100% hereditary. Our kids family health history REQUIRES that they be mindful eaters. Reilly struggles with emotional and stress eating. (Many people in my family do.) She also hates to exercise. She has really struggled the past few years. I am super proud of the decision that she has made in the last few months to make her health her first priority. Health...not weight. There is a difference and a distinction. It isn't about losing weight... it is about being healthy and feeling good. I eat the way I do and exercise because of the way it makes me feel...losing weight is secondary.

Now onto the mind. I am a big proponent of counseling. The mind part of the mind/body connection is huge. What happens in our minds manifests itself in our bodies. Read the book The Body Keeps the Score. That book is powerful and life changing. Also, there is no shame in going to counseling. Everyone needs counseling. I REPEAT...EVERYONE needs counseling!! Working through issues as they arise is so helpful and healing past issues is so important.

Stillness is another thing that I am learning and working on. Stillness is becoming relaxing to me...be that through prayer or meditation. Prayer is my go to. I need prayer all day every day. That connection to the Lord is my lifeline. How do you parent without prayer? Not possible. Also listening to my body and understanding its need for down days...days without anything going on...days of quiet and rest. I am not a quiet and restful person by nature. Quiet and rest have always made me antsy but I am learning and coming to really appreciate and value those days. I cannot go 100 miles an hour each and every day. It drains me and leaves me empty with nothing to give to anyone.

Sleep is also huge for me. I NEED 8 hours. I am neither a night owl nor an early bird. I could seriously go to bed every night at 8 pm. I don't...but nights that I do get to bed early are a delight as are mornings that I get to sleep in!

The whole concept of the mind/body/spirit connection and feeling connected to my body is a work in progress. Exercise, healthy eating, dealing with issues and emotions as they arise, being still, connecting with a higher power, getting adequate sleep, and having a healthy sex life are all ways that help me to do that. (Yes, a healthy sex life is a big part of feeling connected to our bodies and to our partners...but that is a topic for another day!)

I am sure that it will be a life long journey for me to feel connected to my body and to have a balanced mind, body, and spirit. But I have seen a crucial shift over the last few years in my thinking and how I live my life. I do have a deeper appreciation and respect for what a miracle my body is and what it can do. I am listening to my body much more these days but I still have a long way to go.

10 Things to Tell You: #3

10 Things to Tell You: Where Do You Live?

Why do you live there? What do you love about it, or don't? How has it changed you (or not)?

Yes! A lighter and less gloomy writing prompt. I live in Spokane, WA and I love it...most of the time. I am NOT a fan of the cold and snow and right now we are inundated with several feet of snow and I am HATING it. I cannot take all of this winteriness. I am most definitely a summer person!

Why do we live in Spokane?

Reason #1

My great-great grandparents, great-grandparents, and grandparents are all from around here...the Eastern WA and Northern Idaho area. My mom and her siblings were raised in a small town about 2 hours away. My great-grandparents purchased a piece of property on a lake in Northern Idaho in the early 1900s and started a resort called Echo Beach. The lake, which is approximately a half an hour from our house, has been a gathering place and summer vacation destination for five generations now. It is a place and area that I love.

I grew up for most of my life in Utah and loved the craggy mountains and canyons there. (I have also lived in Kansas City and Houston.) I attended college at BYU and Tyler and I lived in Utah for the first five years of our marriage. But there was always something that called for us to move up North. One summer when I was a newlywed and up at the lake for vacation I went on a walk with my Aunt Marji. I asked her to give me her best marriage advice. She told me first and foremost to, "Move where you want to live!" She told me that she wished that she and my Uncle Dennis had done that right away after they got married because once you have kids and get established in an area it is really hard to move and relocate. Her advice stuck with me. Tyler and I always hated the drive back to Utah after leaving the lake and would constantly ask ourselves, "Why do we live in Utah?! We don't we live up here?!" We talked about it all the time and talked about what my Aunt Marji had said but moving just never seemed like a real possibility.

When I was pregnant with Kameron, Tyler was working for the Salt Lake Organizing Committee for the 2002 Olympics. As the Olympics approached and his work began to dwindle SLOC sent in headhunters to help their employees find new jobs... even around the country if that was their wish. I remember Tyler and I joking around and saying,  "We should see if there is anything in Spokane!" I didn't really take it seriously but Tyler did and a position was found in Spokane. He applied, interviewed, and got the job. We were so excited!!

I loved the Utah of my youth and, of course, I love and adore Springdell but coming back to Utah for college (although I loved Provo and BYU) and definitely after... it no longer felt like home to me. Tyler and I never thought that we would stay in Utah forever or raise our family there. Tyler and I really hated the Utah Mormon Culture AND the Utah Anti-Mormon Counter Culture. We still do. It is such a hostile environment. It feels like being permanently trapped in an election year with constant attacks and counter attacks from both sides. Who wants to live like that? Utah Mormons and ex-Mormons are constantly at each other's throats. We loathed it. We couldn't wait to move away. Tyler and I both have lived in other states and have experienced the church outside of Utah. Those experiences had a big influence on us. The church culture is so much more accepting and peaceful outside of Utah as is what ever happens to be the counter culture. There is just so much anger and rage in Utah. People who leave the church cannot leave the church alone. It becomes weirdly part of their identity to constantly *rebel* against the church and their members and beliefs. I find this so odd. When people leave the Catholic church or the Protestant church or whatever...they just leave. There isn't this need to fight against everything their previous church stands for. On the other side, there are many members of the church in Utah that have this bizarre superiority complex and that grated on us too. We had to get out. It was the best decision that we have made. For our family and for our spirituality.

One of my very favorite sights!

All of that to say, that I really do love where we live. We might not have towering craggy mountains but we have gorgeous pine covered mountains that are just as beautiful. We have water! Lakes, rivers, creeks, streams, and waterfalls all over the place. I love it when I am on a road trip and I start getting closer to home and I can smell the pine trees again. There is no better smell to me than pine and water. The most heavenly smell in the world is pulling up to the lake house. Make that a perfume and I will buy it!

Reason #2

I love the beauty of our area. I love how close we are to nature. Want to go hiking? A trail is 10 minutes away and the trail head isn't crowded and packed...unlike Utah. Plus, when I am hiking I want to see water and water is everywhere here. There are 76 lakes near the Spokane area. 76! I googled it. I am lake girl through and through. I love the water...boating, swimming, kayaking, paddleboarding. This area is heaven for me. There are gorgeous biking trails and if you are into camping, fishing, and skiing this area cannot be beat.

Reason #3

I love that Spokane is the perfect size. Not too small and not too big. It's around the same size as Boise but it feels smaller and less sprawling. I love our downtown. I love the Spokane River that flows through it. I love the gorgeous parks we have. I feel like Spokane is a hidden gem. The cost of living here is cheap. There is so much to do. There is culture and the arts. The shopping and restaurant scenes are really taking off. Our traffic and commute times are so much better than most other places of a similar size. We have good schools here and the Gonzaga University scene. There is a temple here and a large LDS population. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the second largest religion in Spokane with Catholicism being the first. I love the connection to history that I feel here and to my own personal family history. Also, the architecture has a timeless quality that I love. There are great people and the summers are AMAZING!!

Reason #4

It feels like home. We have loved living here for the past 17 years. It's been a great place to raise our family. Sometimes we get the itch to move to another area. Tyler and I love Texas, Tyler loves North Carolina, and we both love Portland. We often long to get out of the snow and move somewhere warmer. We want to be snowbirds in our retirement! But we both really love living here and it can't be too bad because Reilly moved back and she doesn't seem to have any interest in moving anywhere else. Yay! Now if we could get all of our kids to do the same! :) Most of my family lives here now and the rest aren't too far away in Utah. I think that Spokane is a wonderful well kept secret in the Pacific Northwest. Plus, I love that it is close to Seattle, Portland, and Canada.

There are a few things that I DISLIKE about living here:

1.) It starts to get dark at 3:30 pm in the winter.

2.) Winters...they are super long, gray, and gloomy.

3.) Summer is short...but oh so sweet.

4.) No good Mexican food.

5.) No good Chinese food ...or Chinese delivery! How have I lived here for so long without Chinese delivery? That was our weekly staple/splurge when we lived in Utah. Although with things like Ubereats that is starting to change.

6.) Sunny days are never the norm. They are a surprise and a delight! I always notice and appreciate them! Although we usually get a pretty good run of sunny days July through mid-September. I am glad that we get more sun than the west side of the state! Seattle typically has 152 days of sun out of 365. Portland has 144/365. Spokane has 171/365.

We love living here for many more reasons than I can name in this post and we are so happy that we moved here from Salt Lake over 17 years ago!

10 Things to Tell You: #2

10 Things to Tell You: Are You Lonely? When Have You Felt Lonely?

As I said in a previous post I am doing Laura Tremaine's 10 Things to Tell You challenge. Laura asks some interesting questions and then she challenges you to share your thoughts via blogs, social media, or journaling. This is prompt #2 and it is definitely a more thought-provoking prompt and one that is more difficult to answer. This is a subject that isn't often talked about...even with our closest friends and family. When I asked myself the question, "Am I lonely?" My answer was immediately no. I'm not lonely. But the follow up question of "When have you felt lonely?" really opened up some self-reflection and brought up some different times in my life. Yes, I have been lonely... often extremely lonely... at different times throughout my life. I am going to skip over the obvious...moving to a new town and being the new girl in high school or college when I was homesick. I'll focus on times of loneliness in my adult life. Ironically the times in my life when I have felt the most lonely were times when I was surrounded by people. So you really can feel lonely while having loving friends, family, spouses, and children around you.

The first time that came to mind was as a young mother. I remember feeling very lonely during those early first years of motherhood. It spanned the time from Reilly's birth through the year after Kameron's birth. I was home alone with little kids. Tyler worked two jobs and was gone from early in the morning until late at night. It was just me and babies...for hours and hours. I was trying to find my way as a stay-at-home mom and I felt very isolated and lonely. This was also pre-internet (at least when Reilly was a baby), texting, and social media.

It was also during this time that we moved from Provo, Utah to Salt Lake City. I was no longer working or going to school full-time although I did take college night classes at the BYU Extension campus and that literally saved my life. Our big group of friends from college were all starting new lives in other cities and other states. All of us were headed in all different directions. We scattered and were busy starting our families and careers. Tyler and I were active in the church but we were in a ward with a lot of apartments and people moving in and out so we didn't feel like a part of the ward. It was not very welcoming. Particularly because they knew that we were transitional and probably wouldn't be in the ward for very long. My family lived in or near SLC but my mom was busy with her career, Kirk and Jordin were in high school, and I wasn't close to my sisters despite living literally next door to one of them. We would all gather at my mom's house for Sunday dinners and that was about it. There wasn't a lot of interaction and support. Tyler and I were the only active members of the church and that seemed to cause tension and issues in both of our families. Our lives were going in a different direction. I also know now that for part of those years I was suffering from post-partum depression especially after Kameron was born. That was a super hard time. I had severe post-partum depression after Kameron and Bryn. It wasn't quite as bad with Reilly and Ailey. No one (besides Tyler) really asked me how I was doing or how I was feeling and I guess I just thought that this was how women feel. I look back on that time in my life and I wish that I knew then what I know now and had the support system that I do now. It certainly would've made those early years a bit easier.

Things definitely improved when we moved to Spokane. Moving here was the best decision. We moved when Reilly was four and a few months before Kameron turned one. We moved into a super welcoming ward. We got callings right away and found good friends and mentors. We felt part of a big ward family and stake. We were taken in and cared and looked out for. I met a bunch of amazing moms. The kids and I were part of a big active playgroup that met once a week and I was invited to join a book club that was a huge blessing in my life. It was a completely different atmosphere and vibe. We felt so supported, loved, and appreciated. We were busy and active and things improved so much for me.

The next super lonely time was after Tyler's brain hemorrhage. That was such a hard and scary time. We didn't know what the future held for us. I was trying to hold it all together for Tyler and the kids. I couldn't always be scared and crying and panicked. But sometimes I just couldn't hold it in...and the kids saw me cry and worry. Too many times Tyler was trying to comfort and reassure me when he should have been focusing on his recovery and I should have been comforting and reassuring him. Many times I would burst into tears with my friends and we would all cry together and they would listen to me talk for hours. Even though they were so sweet and helpful I still felt very alone in all of it. My family wasn't really involved besides occasional calls and texts to check in...perhaps some of that was my own fault...I could've said that I needed more support or that I felt really alone and scared. But at that time we weren't all getting along and I didn't feel comfortable or safe opening up to them. I absolutely could not deal with any family drama on top of what we were already dealing with. I pulled away for the mental health of my own family. I still feel like that was the best decision. We could only concentrate on one thing...Tyler's health. Once Tyler started to improve I know that he felt the isolation/loneliness too... like it was the two of us against the world. We have a super supportive ward and great friends but that kind of situation (probably any kind of serious health issue or serious challenge or struggle) is super isolating. People don't want to intrude or disturb when really we would've welcomed any distraction. I think that is a big lesson that I learned. Go visit people. Even if you think they aren't up for visitors. Everyone that came to see us or brought us meals or just came over to visit during that time were such welcome distractions. I can't tell you how nice it was to laugh and feel somewhat normal and to take even a short break from the overwhelming worry and anxiety of the situation. But despite friends and love being shown to us and all around us it still was a very lonely time. We were in a weird situation that was hard for other people to relate to or know how to help. We had no idea either. It was a tough tough time. Our family of six turned inward and fortified our boundaries and strengthened and lifted one another. We leaned hard into our faith and relied on the Lord to help us through which He did.

The next lonely time was an offshoot of the one above and actually started before that and extended after. When I am going through rough times with my family I feel very lonely. We had a little over two years of hard extended family issues. It made us not want to spend a lot of time with family. There is a lot of dysfunction in my family (my own siblings and mom) and it extends out to aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was a really uncomfortable time. Often we would attend a family event and as we walked in all conversation would stop. I remember being at an event that we literally forced ourselves to attend and had a family member say, "Why are YOU here? I thought you WEREN'T going to be here!!" It was terrible. Down came our walls and boundaries. Like I said... this started before Tyler's health issues and didn't end until our family discussion over Christmas break. When I feel disconnected from my family (siblings and mom) I do feel lonely.  I saw this quote about loneliness and it felt really applicable to this particular time. I know this isn't always the case when people feel lonely but it certainly was the case for me in the last situation with my family.

Loneliness isn't a topic that I am super comfortable discussing but I think that in this day and age so many people DO feel lonely and like no one cares. It is an epidemic in our culture. We are all so connected (digitally) and so unconnected (physically). I know that all three of these situations have taught me a great deal and have changed the way that I do things and how I interact with others. I know that loneliness will come again. It is a part of life. We all struggle. We all do or will feel lonely but by being vulnerable and sharing our stories and the things that we struggle with it helps us to connect with one another. It helps us to have compassion and empathy for one another and it teaches us to reach out to those around us and helps us to feel less alone.

Good grief! That was a dark and gloomy post. I hope that the next prompt is a bit lighter!!

Winter Book Reviews

Book Reviews

1.) P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han

This book was downloaded onto my Kindle at about 1:30 am because the first book leaves you hanging and I had to know what happened next. This series is so fun and charming that I got sucked right back into high school and the life of Lara Jean and I didn't mind a bit.

From Goodreads:

Lara Jean didn’t expect to really fall for Peter.
She and Peter were just pretending. Except suddenly they weren’t. Now Lara Jean is more confused than ever. When another boy from her past returns to her life, Lara Jean’s feelings for him return too. Can a girl be in love with two boys at once?

I liked this sequel to All the Boys I've Loved Before. This one was full of high school drama and angst. I had to laugh a few times...high school love...so twisty and complicated...or so you think at the time. I loved this quote from the book: "People come in and out of your life. For a time they are your world; they are everything. And then one day they're not." That sums up high school romance in a nutshell.

This book series has just the right combination of nostalgia and freshness. It is laugh aloud funny but it can also be incredibly poignant. The family dynamics are my favorite part of this series. The three girls and their single father making their way through the tumultuous teenage and young adult years. I loved everything about it!! I also especially loved Kitty!! She is the best! I also really enjoyed the addition of John Ambrose and the complications that ensued. Stormy was another favorite character and her antics at the assisted living facility were hilarious!

This book was a fun and easy read. I do feel like the language took a bit of a turn for the worst in this book and that there was more swearing in this book and even more in the third book. That is not something that normally bothers me too much but my daughter is also reading this series so it caught my attention more than if I was just reading the series myself.

My Rating: Fun read! 


2.) Always and Forever, Lara Jean by Jenny Han

After finishing P.S. I Still Love You I moved right on to Always and Forever, Lara Jean. This is the third and final book in the series and the weakest of the books in my opinion. The plot was basically Lara Jean waiting to hear which college she would be accepted to. While true to life...very true to life...it brought back all of my senior year anxiety waiting for acceptance letters...it doesn't make for  particularly thrilling plot. Where will Lara Jean go to school and what does that mean for her relationship with her high school boyfriend?

What this book does well is deal with the changing family dynamics that occur when kids leave home and go off to college. I have experienced this myself and am now currently experiencing it with my own children. That part was excellent. It also deals well with the tougher topics of sex and drinking. This book definitely had a more mature tone than the first two books. I also missed the character of Josh. We grow to love and care about him in book one. We see some of him in book two but by book three he is a complete nonentity. That was unfortunate.

I do feel that this series is relatable. Especially for high school seniors. I have one at my house right now.  It brought me right back to my senior year and my high school boyfriend and waiting to hear if we both got into the same university. I did and he did not. We also had to navigate what that meant for our relationship. We broke up (my decision) and went our separate ways. The mother in me kept wanting to yell at Lara Jean...just wait...college is AWESOME and yes...don't go to college with a boyfriend!! Despite how much I enjoy Peter Kavinsky.

This series is delightful and it was enjoyable to revisit the characters and to be a part of their world for a little bit longer. This book definitely tackles more mature themes than the first and second books but I think they were handled well. I just wish that there was more of a plot.

My Rating: Enjoyable but perhaps the weakest of the trilogy.

3.) Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

This book has been all the buzz on social media and was recently made into a movie. I wanted to see the movie but decided to read the book first. I thought that this book would be a fun read over Christmas break.

From Goodreads:

When New Yorker Rachel Chu agrees to spend the summer in Singapore with her boyfriend, Nicholas Young, she envisions a humble family home and quality time with the man she hopes to marry. But Nick has failed to give his girlfriend a few key details. One, that his childhood home looks like a palace; two, that he grew up riding in more private planes than cars; and three, that he just happens to be the country’s most eligible bachelor. On Nick’s arm, Rachel may as well have a target on her back the second she steps off the plane, and soon, her relaxed vacation turns into an obstacle course of old money, new money, nosy relatives, and scheming social climbers.

This novel is over the top in so many ways and that's the point I guess. It's satire. But... all the glitzy descriptions, sprawling mansions, exotic locations, designer clothing, and nonstop consumption got tiring and tedious. It was a lot of obnoxious shallow people overspending with little plot or character development. It did not keep my attention for the 527 pages it took to slog through. The novel really lost momentum in the middle for me. I almost abandoned it. But I decided to keep going to see if the ending redeemed the book and it did somewhat. The last quarter of the book was by far the most interesting. Finally we have more of a plot and some conflict...not just lush descriptions and annoying characters. I enjoyed the last quarter of the book and almost felt like I was reading a different book. I wish the rest of it was like the last few chapters. I *almost* want to read the next book in the series just to see what happens to Nick, Rachel, and Astrid. Too much time was spent on secondary characters and scenes that didn't move the plot forward or in some cases have anything to do with the plot at all.

Parts of the novel that I enjoyed were: the location, the food descriptions, and a glimpse into a world that I really didn't know existed. I loved the setting of Singapore. I thought the setting was so unique and interesting. I loved reading about an area of the world that I was unfamiliar with and learning more about the location, customs, culture, and even about the wealthiest of its citizens. I particularly loved the descriptions of all of the food that Rachel and Nick were eating and it made me hungry!

I have heard that the movie is cute and better than the book. Hmm...the opposite is nearly always true but I will give it a shot.

**Edited to add: The movie was cute! I liked it better than the book.**

My Rating: Okay...but didn't live up to the hype.

4.) Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist

I love a good foodie memoir. I love reading essays and recipes and stories of food, family, friends, and connection. They always make for a cozy winter read. This book was exactly that. It was very enjoyable to curl up on a wintery day and read about food and hospitality. I am always inspired to do more and host more.

From Goodreads:

This book is a collection of essays about family relationships, friendships, and the meals that bring us together. Written by well-loved writer and blogger, Shauna Niequist, this mix of Girl Meets God and the Food Network is a funny, honest, and vulnerable spiritual memoir. Bread & Wine is a celebration of food shared and life around the table, and it reminds us of the joy we find in connection and relationship.

The essays are well written and cover topics like love, loss, community, faith, family, friendship, marriage, motherhood, travel, and of course food. Niequist encourages the reader to forget perfectionism and practice hospitality. Open your doors and invite others in...your home doesn't have to be a show place and you don't have to be Martha Stewart to invite people over for a meal.

“There are interesting, smart, kind people just absolutely everywhere, and that when you do things you care about, you find quick kinship with people who are passionate about those same things.” 

I loved the chapter called Russian Dolls. I thought it had some beautiful imagery on growing up and growing old that will stay with me. This book was an enjoyable read if not exactly a super exciting one. I would recommend it if you enjoy reading about food or memoirs although my very favorite book in this particular genre is The Pat Conroy Cookbook: Memories of My Life because writing just doesn't get better than Pat Conroy's and his recipes are fantastic.

My Rating: Good. A cozy read for January.

5.) Magnolia Table by Joanna Gaines

From Goodreads:

Magnolia Table is infused with Joanna Gaines' warmth and passion for all things family, prepared and served straight from the heart of her home, with recipes inspired by dozens of Gaines family favorites and classic comfort selections from the couple's new Waco restaurant, Magnolia Table.

I enjoy reading cookbooks and I loved this cookbook. The recipes looked interesting. I have tabbed about 20 different ones to make. I love the stories behind the recipes. I especially love that Joanna included many of her family's favorite meals...even if they included things like Velveeta and cream of whatever soup. Apparently this has people up in arms. Guess what? Busy moms use cream of whatever soups and occasionally use Velveeta... even though I am NOT a fan of Velveeta. I like that she didn't try to make this cookbook anything other than a collection of favorite family recipes. Joanna didn't try to make everything super healthy or super clean or super trendy or whatever. That actually makes me want to try these recipes even more because they seem like the kind of recipes that a friend or neighbor would give you. That said, I would consider most of these recipes as a Sunday dinner type recipes. Most of them are a bit too rich and heavy for every day for my family. I can't wait to give some of these recipes a try!

***I have tried several recipes and loved them all. Even one with Velveeta!!**

My Rating: Good!

6.) Beauchamp Hall by Danielle Steele

I have not read a Danielle Steele novel since I was in high school. I read my fill then and got tired of reading the same old formulaic story. But whenever I think of Danielle Steele books it reminds me of summers at the lake. I guess I was feeling nostalgic so I decided to read this one over Christmas Break. It popped up in my feed and it sounded kind of fun in a Downton Abbey-esque way.

From Goodreads:

Winona Farmington once dreamed of graduating from college, moving to New York City, and pursuing a career in publishing. Then real life got in the way when she left college and returned to her small Michigan hometown to care for her sick mother.  Years later, stuck in a dead-end job and an unsatisfying relationship, Winnie has concluded that dreams were meant for others. She consoles herself with binge-watching the British television series that she loves, Beauchamp Hall, enthralled by the sumptuous period drama set on a great Norfolk estate in the 1920s. The rich upstairs-downstairs world brilliantly brought to life by superb actors is the ultimate in escapism. On the day Winnie is passed over for a long-overdue promotion, she is also betrayed by her boyfriend and her best friend. Heartbroken, she makes the first impulsive decision of her conventional life—which changes everything.  She packs her bags and flies to England to see the town where Beauchamp Hall is filmed. The quaint B & B where she stays feels like home. The brother and sister who live in the castle where the show is filmed, rich in titles but poor in cash, are more like long-lost friends than British nobility. And the show itself, with its colorful company and behind-the-scenes affairs, is a drama all its own. Winnie’s world comes alive on the set of the show.

Well...I think I can safely say that I won't be reading any more Danielle Steele novels. It all came back to me. She has an odd...and slightly passive...way of writing that annoys me. Constant telling without showing... and the characters are always kept at a slight distance so you are never totally invested or really care about what happens to them. That was definitely the case for me while reading about Winnie. She just didn't inspire any great empathy or loyalty. All of the characters are so one dimensional. I needed some depth! The first half of the book about her life in Michigan was terrible. The book got a bit better once she went to England and then the last part of the book was so rushed and forced. It didn't make for a great read. I thought the premise of the story was good I just wish that the book lived up to what could have been a cute story.

My Rating: Not great. 

7.) Save the Date by Morgan Matson

The same person who recommended To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han also recommended this book. She was right yet again. It's a cute YA novel and I liked it. It's not as good as To All the Boys...but it was a cute fun read.

From Goodreads:

Charlie Grant's older sister is getting married this weekend at their family home, and Charlie can't wait for the first time in years, all four of her older siblings will be under one roof. Charlie is desperate for one last perfect weekend, before the house is sold and everything changes. The house will be filled with jokes and games and laughs again. Making decisions about things like what college to attend and reuniting with longstanding crush Jesse Foster all that can wait. She wants to focus on making the weekend perfect...Over the course of three ridiculously chaotic days, Charlie will learn more than she ever expected about the family she thought she knew by heart. And she'll realize that sometimes, trying to keep everything like it was in the past means missing out on the future.

Although this book semi-stressed me out with all of the wedding day mishaps what I really loved was the Grant family. I absolutely loved their family dynamic. I found it to be very real. Their sibling interactions are funny and touching. There are five Grant children and I enjoyed them all. Of course I am partial to stories about five siblings. You don't find many of them! I was glad when the wedding drama was over but I will admit to being sad to say goodbye to this delightful family. I hope that the author writes more books about the Grants.

My Rating: A cute book! Would make a darling Netflix movie.


8.) The Wondering Years by Knox McCoy

I am a HUGE fan of Knox McCoy. I love both of his podcasts with Jamie Golden...The Popcast and The Bible Binge. I follow both he and Jamie on social media and I think that Knox is absolutely hilarious. His humor totally resonates with me and I was super excited to read his memoir.

From Goodreads:

When you hear the phrase pop culture, you likely think reality television, boy bands or Real Housewives of various cities. While these are elements of popular culture, they aren’t all it has to offer. Pop culture may not cure diseases, topple political regimes, or make scientific breakthroughs, but it does play a vital role in the story of humanity...In The Wondering Years, Knox explores this idea of connecting popular culture to his own experiences. Through hilarious yet poignant stories, he reflects on how pop culture has helped shape his life and carve out the foundation of his faith. While the three cultural tentpoles—the South, the Church, and Sports—defined many aspects of his East Tennessee upbringing, it was pop culture that most definitively influenced Knox and his sense of the world at large. 

I loved it! Yes, it talks about faith AND pop culture AND it hilarious...Knox McCoy canine evangelist and his childhood search to identify potential Antichrists had me wheezy laughing (Knox's trademark laugh) and also thinking deeply about my own faith. That is quite the combo and it totally worked!! The footnotes...are absolute perfection!!

This is a great collection of essays. It is a refreshingly introspective look at faith and yet Knox never takes himself too seriously. He has the best sense of humor about everything including life's deepest questions. Knox grew up as a Southern Baptist and his upbringing in many ways was quite similar to being raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Church culture is church culture!

I love the idea that questioning and searching for answers about even the most profound questions is healthy and should be encouraged. I know that my husband and I certainly encourage it with our children who are being raised in the LDS faith. Wondering ISN'T wandering!! How I want to shout that from the roof tops. God is great and He can handle us asking questions, in fact, He encourages it.

I loved this book! I would have enjoyed it even if I didn't know Knox from his various podcasts. Listen to The Popcast podcast if you are into hysterical commentary on pop culture and listen to The Bible Binge podcast if you are interested in some interesting and funny discussions of the Bible. I laugh and I learn.

This is a great memoir...vulnerable and touching. Thoughtful and refreshing. I highly recommend it! I especially recommend the audiobook. Knox does the narration and it really doesn't get better than that!

My Rating: Excellent

9.) Whiskey in a Teacup by Reese Witherspoon

I love Reese Witherspoon and I loved this book. It had it all for me...part memoir, part cookbook, part decorating, style, and entertaining guide. It was a fun quick read.

From Goodreads:

Reese’s southern heritage informs her whole life, and she loves sharing the joys of southern living with practically everyone she meets. She takes the South wherever she goes with bluegrass, big holiday parties, and plenty of Dorothea’s fried chicken. It’s reflected in how she entertains, decorates her home, and makes holidays special for her kids—not to mention how she talks, dances, and does her hair (in these pages, you will learn Reese’s fail-proof, only slightly insane hot-roller technique). Reese loves sharing Dorothea’s most delicious recipes as well as her favorite southern traditions, from midnight barn parties to backyard bridal showers, magical Christmas mornings to rollicking honky-tonks.

If you like lipstick, peonies, pearls, books, monograms, cooking, the South, elegance, hospitality, friendship, and family traditions you will like this book. I do and I did!

My Rating: Fun!

10.) I'd Rather Be Reading by Anne Bogel

I listen to the podcast What Should I Read Next by Anne Bogel and enjoy her Modern Mrs. Darcy blog. This is the second of two books that she has written about reading. This is a slim little volume. It would be a great gift book or book club exchange. It is definitely a quick read and caters to the bookish types... like me.

“We are readers. Books grace our shelves and fill our homes with beauty; they dwell in our minds and occupy our thoughts. Books prompt us to spend pleasant hours alone and connect us with fellow readers. They invite us to escape into their pages for an afternoon, and they inspire us to reimagine our lives...“We are readers. Books are an essential part of our lives and of our life stories. For us, reading isn’t just a hobby or a pastime; its a lifestyle.” 

From Goodreads:

 In this collection of charming and relatable reflections on the reading life, beloved blogger and author Anne Bogel leads readers to remember the book that first hooked them, the place where they first fell in love with reading, and all of the moments afterward that helped make them the reader they are today. Known as a reading tastemaker through her popular podcast What Should I Read Next?, Bogel invites book lovers into a community of like-minded people to discover new ways to approach literature, learn fascinating new things about books and publishing, and reflect on the role reading plays in their lives.

I love books about books. This is a small volume of essays for people who love to read. Anne Bogel shares her experiences and insights about reading. Some of my favorite essays were:

Confess Your Literary Sins
The Books That Find You
Bookworm Problems
Readers I Have Been

I loved this quote from the essay Bookworm Problems. It was my favorite and I could definitely relate!!

"You finally persuade your friend to read your lifetime favorite book. She gives it three stars. You persuade your husband to read one of your favorites. He pronounces it "fine." You cannot, no matter how much you beg, plead, or wheedle, convince your book club to read your favorite book. You cannot, no matter how or what you try, persuade your child to read your favorite childhood book. You convince your child to read your favorite childhood book, and he begins, but then says, "I just can't get into it."

My only negatives were that I now have a new found angst caused by the author reminding me multiple times how there will never be enough time to read all of the books on my To-Read list and reminding me that even if I read a book a day it would still only be 365 books a year and that there are more books than that published on Tuesdays. There will never be enough time to read all of the books we want to read in our lifetimes. Depressing.  Also she returned The Prince of Tides back to the bookstore. An unpardonable sin. Granted she was 14 at the time but so was I when I read that book for the first time and I loved it. Pat Conroy is my all-time favorite author. Actually my very favorite book about books is Conroy's My Reading Life. It is fabulous.

My Rating: A cozy little read for bibliophiles. 

January: Things I am Loving

1.) Petit Fours

Somehow Tyler and I stumbled upon a local bakery that makes petit fours. Good petit fours. This is a REAL problem. I love petit fours... so much that they were served at our wedding reception. We had a big dessert buffet and this was one of the things that I HAD TO HAVE. Raspberry Almond Petit Fours. They were precious and delicious. They were also the only thing that I actually ate at our wedding reception besides the bite of cake that Tyler gave to me when we cut our cake. Sometime during the course of the night I managed to snarf a couple of these delicious little confections down before I changed out of my wedding dress into my going away dress and bid our family goodbye. Don't ask how many times Tyler and I have stopped by this bakery for these...just don't... you don't want to know. I also bought some for book club so that I could share the love and ended up eating most of them myself.

2.) Snow Sneakers

Due to #1 these came in VERY handy! One day whilst perusing at Costco I saw a display for Snow Sneakers. Hmmm...interesting. I hate snow boots. I despise clomping around in Sorels. I have never and will never own Uggs. They are glorified moonboots people! And... they are called Uggs for a reason. They are UGLY. Don't tell me how comfy they are or how warm they are...blah blah...I've heard it all before. And no one looks good in them...nope...not even you. They are the crocs of winter. I will wear Hunters if I have to wear some form of snow boots or Sorels if I will be seriously in the snow but I don't enjoy it. And people who wear Hunters just for fun and fashion? I don't get you either. If it isn't snowing or raining they are just clompy rubber boots. They are not comfy. My hatred of proper winter footwear annoys Tyler to no end. He was the first to spot the ol' snow sneakers and he was the one that demanded that I try them on in the middle of a crowded Costco. They look sporty and almost like high tops BUT they are insulated and have tread. They are also super light weight and zip up (despite having ties). Here is my other issue with snow boots...getting them on and off. Ugh...Tying them (Sorels)...getting in and hopping around on one foot trying to get out of them (Hunters)...no thank you. But these were easy to slip on and off and light and somewhat sporty looking. They were also $15 so you can be sure that I saved that receipt because it seemed too good to be true. But...they are still in my possession and I wear them all the time while out walking and hiking almost daily in the ice and snow. They are warm and delightful. I texted my sister and daughter to go buy some immediately which neither of them did. Whatever. They should've listened to me! I don't think you can beat a pair of $15 snow sneakers!!

3.) Duck shoes

Now lest you think that I put on my snow sneakers to run errands or to take the kids to school you would be wrong. I wear duck shoes for that and I love them. Duck shoes hadn't crossed my mind since about 1989 until we went to Portland for Thanksgiving and Tyler found the coolest pair of slip on duck boots which he bought as fast as he could. Portland knows its rain gear. Spokane isn't nearly as rainy as Portland but we still get a lot of rain and Portlandians have taught me a lot about how to deal with the elements. Like always buy a hat with a hood. That one took me a good 30 years to figure out. Rain coats are a necessity. I had been living in the PNW for 15 years without one. Scarves actually serve a purpose. You know, things like that. I have had Hunter boots for the last 8 years so I can walk around in any kind of slush and rain but Tyler has not had an equivalent in footwear. Enter duck boots. Something about his joy and delight with those duck boots took me back to the 1980s and I saw in my mind's eye my BFF Naomi with her bobbed hair and ribbon headband wearing her pegged jeans and a Forenza sweater and a pair of duck shoes. I decided right then that I NEEDED a pair!! They went on my Christmas list and Tyler bought me some. All blue and retro-like. I love them. I wear them every day!!

4.) Hoarfrost

This has made the list before but it is my favorite wintery item so I am bringing it back. We've had a lot of hoar-frosty goodness. I love frosty trees but no snow on the ground. It's like you get a bit of winter but not all of the drudgery that goes with snow and slush.

5.) Marie Kondo on Netflix

Let's just say that this show sucked us in for several episodes one weekend. I cannot stand having things around that we don't use or that I don't love so I make many donation trips. But there is someone in our house/garage/laundry room who has a few issues. #Tyler There are three specific places that I am NOT allowed to organize or go through and clean out. It is annoying. He is starting to let me go through some of the things that are in the off limit zones. I am truly enjoying saying this little phrase to Tyler. "Spark Joy??" :)

January

January 2019

January is the longest month. Despite the fact that the kids were out of school for what seemed like so many days... with a bunch of early release days and a three-day weekend followed by a four-day weekend. It still felt long and gray. I've tried to change my perspective on January and change a few habits and it has helped somewhat but January is just long.

The month started off with a ton of dental issues. Right before New Years Kameron had a filling come out and with it a chunk of his tooth. This, while a nuisance, shouldn't be huge deal...but it was/is. First, all of the dental offices were closed until after New Years unless it was a serious emergency which it was not. As soon as our pediatric dental office opened we got him right in. But things just went down hill from there. Kameron would need...best case scenario a crown and worst case scenario an implant. For both of those things he would need to go to regular i.e. grown up dentist. He's 18 now so it is probably time to bump him up anyway. We made an appointment with the regular dentist and Kam's tooth situation got more complicated due to some odd genetics. Kameron is missing 3 permanent teeth. They just never formed. This is a weird trait that runs in families and is apparently on my side because my nephew Dane is also missing some permanent teeth. Kameron also only has one wisdom tooth and Bryn has zero wisdom teeth.

The dentist has talked to Kameron in the past about really taking good care of those baby teeth and that they can last a long time. The dentist's dad is in his 70s and was born without a few permanent teeth and still has his baby teeth. The mom of one of the dental assistants at our regular dentist was missing a permanent tooth and she still has her baby tooth and she is also in her 70s.

Anyway...Kameron has been lectured to take good care of those teeth but unfortunately things haven't gone as planned. A few years ago, he got cavities in two of his three baby teeth...the ones that he needs to hold onto. They were filled and things were fine until his filling came out and part of his tooth and of course it was one of those darn baby teeth. Our regular dentist determined that there was no saving that baby tooth. The rest of it needed to come out and Kameron would definitely need an implant. The kicker is that implants take time. After the post is implanted it takes approximately 6 months for it to heal into the bone and then a fake tooth needs to be formed around it. With Kameron's mission looming, getting his tooth fixed puts us on a tight schedule. This month Kameron had three different dental appointments and he is scheduled for his implant in February. The good news is that our dentist used to be in our stake and gave us a huge "missionary" discount which was unbelievably kind as this procedure is expensive despite having good dental insurance.

Meanwhile during the same week before New Years...Tyler also had a toothache and had to wait until after New Years to get it checked out. He had a different dentist that he went to...not the one that is doing Kam's implant...and when he went in he was told that he needed two root canals and maybe a bridge. WTH?! Let me preface this by saying that Tyler has only had one cavity in his entire life...me too...no root canals...no nothing. We both got our first cavities in our 30s. Isn't that weird? Tyler and I have had zero dental issues and our kids have all had several cavities and all sorts of weird issues. Maybe our little weekly dixie cups of fluoride treatments in elementary school in Utah really did the trick and protected our teeth. Maybe we will eventually die of fluoride poisoning but our teeth are strong!

Tyler kept being prompted to get a second opinion and to change our dentist. So since Kam needed a new dentist... Tyler, Kam, and I all switched over to our new dentist...the one that used to be in our stake. Our new dentist was flabbergasted about what our old dentist had told Tyler. Our new dentist said that all he had on one side was a regular cavity that needed to be filled and then on the other side he was just going to fill that tooth as well but if it looked like Tyler needed a root canal once he was in the tooth he would do that also. No bridges necessary! Hallelujah! That sounded so much better! That just goes to show that you really need to find dentists that you can trust! Ailey and Bryn also had their check ups and cleaning and THANK GOODNESS they both were fine. No cavities! All in all we have had...SEVEN dental appointments in January and three more scheduled for early February. Sheesh.

Hanging out at the dentist... our home away from home. LOL.

In other news..more of Kameron is falling apart. While dealing with his tooth issues he also had knee issues. Kameron ruined his knees running track and XC. He ran all through elementary school, middle school, and through his sophomore year of HS. At the end of track season his sophomore year his knees were shot. They would swell and hurt and it was impossible for him to run. His pediatrician said that he needed to strengthen the muscles around his knees and had him do a bunch of PT exercises. Kameron did them for awhile but not as much as he should have. Without him running they seemed to get somewhat better. They would swell if he played sports or went on a hard hike but the swelling would go down and while somewhat painful they weren't too bad. He was reminded over and over again to do his exercises. Which he didn't do.

The first part of January, Kameron had a 3-day jazz band retreat. During the down time he and his friends played hours and hours of basketball and football. When Kameron got home he could barely walk and one of his knees was enormous. Bigger than a softball and he was in a lot of pain. His other knee was hurting too but nothing like the big swollen one. We got him into our GP right away and this doctor agreed with his old pediatrician that Kam has to build up the muscles around his knees. His knee caps are so loose it gives me the shivers just thinking about it. His patella floats around and isn't in the right groove so it rubs and becomes inflamed. Kam went in for x-rays on both knees. Luckily no serious damage had been done. He was diagnosed with patellofemoral pain syndrome PFPS and bursitis. The doctor referred him to a sports medicine physical therapist who will then determine if his knee needs to be drained. He still has yet to go... the PT was booked out until February. The swelling has gone down quite a bit but his knees still really hurt. Kameron was freaking out that something was going to be seriously wrong with his knees that would prevent him from serving a mission. Missionaries have to pass some pretty rigorous physical assessments. They have to be able to walk an average of 6 miles a day and ride a bike an average of 12 miles a day. So between his darn knees and his tooth issues Kameron was super stressed out.

Kam is showing his actual kneecap. See how huge his knee is?

But during all of this rigmarole I got to cram in a mother/son lunch date with Kam. My brother, Kirk, and I have been on a quest for years to find the best cubano sandwich ever since we watched the movie Chef one Christmas. Kam and I found the ultimate cubano right here in Spokane!

 The same day that Kameron and I had our mother/son lunch date between his many doctor appointments...Tyler had a fun morning with Bryn at her elementary school for Donuts with Dads.

Is anyone on the celery juice kick? It is supposed to be really good for inflammation and is supposed to have all kinds of other health benefits. Kirk and Meki and their family are on the celery juice kick. We have tried all kinds of things to help with inflammation. Apple cider vinegar, turmeric, and on and on. The problem for Tyler is that as a Type 1 diabetic most of them absolutely plummet his blood sugar...dangerously fast. So he isn't able to do the anti-inflammatory things. We decided to give the fresh celery juice a try and yes, it also drops his blood sugar, but not nearly as fast as other things do. It's more of a gentler drop. That was exciting to find out so Tyler is all in!

Ailey and her dance team were coming in HOT this month. They had so many performances, competitions, and half-time shows. She was dancing all month long.

We have had fun watching her do her thing. But I don't think anything can top the fun we had watching her perform at Rubber Chicken which is the school spirit competition between our high school and our rival. The varsity girls play a basketball game and the cheerleaders from both schools do a competitive half-time show and then the varsity boys play their game and both dance teams do a big competitive half-time show. Each year there is a theme and all of the student body and crowd get involved with props and t-shirts and all kinds of things. At the end of all of that...judges decide which school had the most school spirit and they are awarded "Chuck" the rubber chicken to live at their school for the year. This is a big Spokane high school thing. All of the high schools have these spirit competitions with their rivals. It actually is really fun!

So imagine our delight when we found out that not only would we get to watch Ailey perform (like we did several years ago when Reilly was on the dance team) but that she was also going to BE Chuck the Chicken!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! The smallest girl on the dance team has to wear the chicken outfit and do all of their dances in the chicken costume plus a bunch of other things to rev up the crowd. Reilly would've HATED being Chuck the Chicken but Ailey was excited!! Not only did she do an AMAZING job dancing as Chuck but SHE OWNED IT!! She loved every single minute of being center stage. Again Tyler and I just looked at each other like "Where did this kid come from?" She was the shyest kid ever and now she is rocking it at half-time like nobody's business. It was SUPER FUN to watch her!!

Dancing with the Silly Sacks...another weird school tradition.

Ailey in all her Chuck the Chicken/Baby Shark Glory!!

We sat up in a section with a bunch of friends from our stake and it was fun to cheer on all of our kids who were playing basketball, cheering, and dancing. It was a great night!

Kameron was hanging out with his cronies so we never really saw him. I do appreciate him being tagged on FB in photos! :)

My friend Rebecca and I were able to squeeze in one last marathon Starbucks meet up before she moved to Wisconsin.

Kam is super excited that he FINALLY gets to vote in an upcoming election!! That kid needs to major in political science!!

I updated all of our kids pictures on the piano a few weeks ago and came across this:

Different but still the same. I love it. 
And...then I had a nice little cry about how quickly Kameron has grown up.

One Saturday most of our family drove down to Stacey's to watch our niece River play basketball. She did a great job and it was fun to watch and cheer for her.

River's team won all three of her games!

We watched our nephew Dane do his thing during time outs and half-time. :)

We all went out to eat at the best little restaurant in their town. So good!

We dropped the kids and John off at Stacey's house and Tyler, my mom, me, Stacey, and Kelley went to one of our favorite antiques stores and found some treasures.

These guys had some fun cousin time!!

Things with Primary have been CRAZY this month...with the new schedule, new curriculum, putting on a Temple and Priesthood Prep Night...and I got a new counselor and secretary. Whoa. We had 12 kids move up early to YM/YW as 11 year olds so the YM and YW ended up getting quite a few kids and those organizations needed to be restructured to accommodate that. I lost my first counselor to YW (my friend Caroline) but ended up replacing her with my good friend Annie. Yay! My secretary got called be the librarian and help out with Sunday School since that has also gotten a bunch more kids. So I got a new secretary (Jordyn...new in our ward) and I think she will be great! So it ended up working out okay. The bad part was that they started releasing people in between Christmas and New Years and not getting new people called until the 2nd week of January which made things insane. Especially since we were putting on the Temple and Priesthood Prep night for 12 kids and their parents with decorations, refreshments, and six speakers. My good friend (and 2nd counselor) Shannon and I did it all by ourselves. We had to hurry and squeeze it in fast too because there was a youth temple trip the first week of February and it needed to be done before that! I am glad that it is done!

I also hosted book club at my house this month. We read Girl Waits With Gun by Amy Stewart. I had already read it for Spokane is Reading. Everyone liked it. We had a bunch of people out of town so we had a smaller gathering this month but it all worked out and was a fun night with a great discussion.

Bryn had her 4th Grade Music Concert:

Reilly and Hunter came in a bit late and Bryn was so excited to point them out to her friend.

Not only did she sing but she also played the recorder. Sayonara recorder! Last kid...last recorder. You will not be missed.

Bryn and her friend Kaylee.

Bryn did a great job!

Tyler and I set some goals for the New Year for ourselves and our family and I am happy to say that we have made a good start on them already. I was talking to the missionaries from our ward and they are having some serious issues with new missionaries coming out that can't cook...like at all. They can't cook an egg or even make the most basic things. (There have been changes with feeding the missionaries so they are required to cook most meals for themselves rather than eat at members homes.) Kam is a pretty good cook but we are having him do some of the main cooking for our Sunday dinners as practice and he is doing a really spectacular job!! We also started our home study for Come Follow Me for Individuals and Families and I absolutely love it! We have had some great in depth discussions for our FHE. We always had FHE on Sunday nights anyway so it has been really easy to incorporate this program. Plus, we have older kids which makes it even easier. We all take turns planning the lesson and leading the discussion...even Bryn. The manual and online resources make it so easy. Tyler and I have also been staying really active despite the snow and ice. Being outside really helps with my January blahs. I have read a lot of books this month and have tried to *find* the coziness rather than feeling that cooped-up-cabin-fever-feeling.

I love this quote that I found on Instagram at the start of January. It really helped me set my intention for the month and gave me some great perspective:

Winter solstice time is no longer celebrated as it once was, with the understanding that this is a period of descent and rest, of going within our homes, within ourselves and taking in all that we have been through, all that has passed in this full year that is coming to a close. Like nature and the animal kingdom around us, this time of hibernation is so necessary to our tired limbs, our burdened minds.

Our modern culture teaches avoidance [of this rest] at a max at this time; [with] alcohol, lights, shopping, overworking, overspending, comfort food, and consumerism. And yet the natural tug to go inward as nearly all creatures are doing is strong and the weather so bitter that people are left feeling that winter is hard...it can be lonely and isolating. Whereas in actual fact winter is kind. She points us in her quiet, soft way towards our inner self, towards this annual time of peace and reflection.

Winter takes away the distractions, the buzz, and presents us with the perfect time to rest and withdraw into womb like love, bringing fire and light to our hearth. And then...just around the corner...like a seed planted deep in the earth, we will all rise with renewed energy once again to dance in the sunlight. 

-Venice Wyatt