10 Things to Tell You: #6

10 Things to Tell You: #6 Who Did You Expect To Be?

Here is another writing prompt from Laura Tremaine's 10 Things To Tell You...Not who did you "want" to be or who did other people expect you to be? But WHO did YOU expect to be at this stage of your life? Are you that person?

This is an interesting question and one that I have thought a lot about. My answer is ...yes and no. In most aspects of my life I am who I expected to be. That is comforting. I am grateful that there isn't a big disparity between who I expected to be and who I actually am.

The things that I expected I would be and am/have:

1.) A wife to a great husband.
2.) A strong and loving marriage.
3.) A mother.
4.) Awesome kids.
5.) Live where I hoped I would live.
6.) An interesting life.
7.) Religious.
8.) A good friend and would have good friends.
9.) Work that I am passionate about and that I enjoy.

Things that I didn't expect I would be or have:

1.) A stay-at-home mom not a career woman.
2.) A husband with two chronic life-threatening diseases.
3.) Not naturally thin...bummer!
4.) Complicated family dynamics and relationships.
5.) Not a world traveler...yet.
6.) Don't live oversees.

In many ways and, in the most important ways, I really am the person that I expected to be. I am a wife to a good man that I love and who loves me. He respects me, appreciates me, and is my very best friend. We have a good strong marriage. We both are willing to do whatever work is necessary to keep our marriage strong and healthy. We both value our marriage above all else. I did not expect that he would be a diabetic and also have heart issues. Not at all. That has been a hard and scary reality that I did not expect.

I always thought that I would be a mother and I am the mother of four terrific kids. I wasn't sure how many kids I wanted when I was younger. I was the oldest of five kids and spent so much time taking care of my siblings. I felt like a seasoned mother before I ever became one. Also, I despised babysitting for other people... no money was worth it! I still don't love watching other people's kids. But I always knew that I wanted kids of my own.

I never in a million years thought that I would be a stay-at-home mother. I grew up with a mom that worked full-time and even went back to graduate school with four kids and one on the way to get her masters degree. I grew up with busy, full-time working, successful, yuppie parents and we always had childcare while growing up. Several live in nannies and Kirk and Jordin went to daycare after we moved to Kansas City and stopped having nannies. I thought I would most likely do the same. I will add that that being a working mother was also what was expected of me by my mom. Although unexpected and bucking the norm in my family, being a stay-at-home mom has been one of the biggest blessings in my life.

I live where I expected to live. I always wanted to live in the Pacific Northwest. I also always wanted to live near the lake and I do. Although there are other areas that I wouldn't mind living too. But I always knew that I would move away from where I was raised. I always thought that I would live an interesting life and I do. It isn't constant adventure and thrilling excitement but it is an interesting one. I have experienced a lot in my 46 years. Things that would surprise most people and I have come through it stronger and more compassionate.

I am not naturally thin! That was a rude awakening! LOL. I always thought I would be... like when I was a kid. I thought it would last forever. Nope.

I am religious. I always knew that I would be despite growing up in a non-religious household. I guess I have always had a believing heart. I have always felt like I was part of something bigger than myself. I have always felt a connection to Deity and that I was a child of God. Despite being raised with religion being something that was looked down upon and mocked by many in my family and despite being raised in an area that wasn't kind to kids from non-religious families. I always knew that when I was older and lived on my own I would be religious and I am. This is another huge blessing in my life. What I did not expect was how much I would enjoy learning and living the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is my anchor. I also love the scriptures. The words are beautiful and poetic and bring me comfort.

I always expected to have good friends and to be a good friend. Moreover I always expected that most of my childhood friends would remain my friends on into adulthood and most have. I have great friends...old, new, and in between. I am a loyal friend and once you are my friend you are my friend for life.

I expected to have work that I loved and was passionate about and I do. It does not look anything like I thought it would look like when I was younger. All through Jr. High and High School I wanted to be a journalist. I took so many journalism classes, worked on the school paper, and then I decided that I wanted to be a broadcast journalist. My high school boyfriend, Aaron, worked at a local news station in Kansas City. His job was to go out with the reporters and cameramen. He was a cameraman's assistant. I thought that was pretty cool. Due to Aaron's job we hung out quite a bit at the news station and I learned a lot. Those Kansas City newscasters were so kind to me. They let me sit behind the desk and read the teleprompter and even recorded me reading the news in case I wanted to use that video to apply to college. Back then I wanted to go to Northwestern. They kindly let me pretend to do the weather and ask them a million questions. But then things changed. My family went through some horrific things and I ended up in counseling trying to deal with all of it. I decided that I wanted to help families like mine and decided that I wanted to be a psychologist. I signed up for Psych 1 and 2 classes my senior year of high school and loved them. (My kids high school has nothing like that as electives. Sad.) I decided to major in Psychology in college. I was so sure that was the path for me. Who knew that I would end up having a vintage home decor business as a side hustle while raising four children and that mothering and this little side business would bring me so much joy and personal fulfillment. I don't regret not becoming a psychologist. Especially after working in the foster care system for a year and a half I know that I couldn't have dealt with serious emotional issues day after day. My stint nearly did me in. I am an empathic person and just suck in the feelings and emotions of those around me. That was a hard time. I think I am doing what I should be doing in this season of life. I have always been a very creative person and my vintage business fulfills this need and keeps me inspired and energized. I have all kinds of future goals and ideas!! And...my kids keep me hopping all day...everyday!! Even the grown up ones....especially the grown up ones. LOL.

I thought that by now that many of my family's issues from childhood would have been worked out and strained relationships healed but they aren't. ( I do have a relationship now with my biological dad which is a complete shock.) My family dynamics/relationships are complicated and frustrating. People have to want to change...or get help...or do the work to heal. Even my extended family dynamics (aunts, uncles, cousins) is complicated and I never expected that to be the case. I was completely blindsided by that. I guess I just had a very naive view of life and about how families should/would be. Even Tyler's family dynamic is complicated. Maybe that is more common than I previously thought. Tyler and I are determined that our children will have a different experience. That has always been our goal. I NEVER wanted to repeat the dysfunction that I grew up with nor wanted that for my own children. Tyler and I always wanted our children to feel loved, valued, safe, and secure. They do and I am grateful for that.

I always expected that I would be a world traveler and that I would live oversees at some point. That hasn't happened...YET. But as the kids get older Tyler and I have more time and money to travel. Eventually we will travel the world together and maybe even live in another country for awhile. That is something that we both would really love to do.

I guess I expected that I would be rich! Ha ha! I am rich in love. I am grateful that I have always had the knowledge that wealth does not bring happiness. I grew up living in nice houses and my parents drove nice cars and were successful... and we were absolutely miserable. I live in a house smaller than I thought I would (for now) but it is the coziest, happiest, most peaceful, and loved-filled home in the world.

I thought maybe this writing prompt would make me feel some regret or dissatisfaction with my life but it doesn't. Yes, there are still goals to be accomplished and dreams to pursue. But overall I am very much the person that I expected I would be when I was growing up and I am grateful.

Easter 2019

Easter

Easter this year came on one of the VERY busiest weekends. It was also Prom weekend. You might think that having a boy would make Prom less busy, expensive, and stressful. You would be wrong! Don't even get me started on my rant over the price of tuxedo RENTALS!! But that is a post for another day and ** spoiler alert** Kam had the time of his life at Prom!

Here are a few pics of some of our Easter decor:

Easter morning dawned a beautiful sunny day! Our church is later this year which made it really nice for a more leisurely Easter morning. We had a special breakfast and read from the scriptures and did our usual Easter morning traditions. This was also the first year that we didn't have any kids who believed in the Easter Bunny. After Christmas Tyler and I sat down and broke the news to Bryn about "you know who" and all the rest of the holiday *visitors*. Poor Bryn was in tears and so were both Tyler and I. It was bittersweet especially with Bryn being the youngest but I must say that it made Easter MUCH EASIER!

Easter Baskets and Easter Dresses/Ties:

As prom was the night before Easter and Kam got in around 3:30 am we let him sleep in! He eventually came upstairs and was in a good mood and happy and sweet and appreciative of his Easter goodies. Love will do that to you! He was extra excited because his girlfriend, Abbey, was coming to church with us. Reilly had to divide her time with Hunter's family. I still hate sharing time with another family!! Ugh. But it was necessary for her to do Easter morning with them and then hang out with us later in the day. Since she wasn't here in the morning I didn't do an Easter Basket for her. She found a really pretty bracelet at this darling boutique in Coeur d'Alene when we were shopping on Bryn's birthday. Tyler and I got that for her as an early Easter gift. She was thrilled!!

New tie for Tyler... old dress for me...I couldn't find anything I liked this year. 

Ailey requested a *plain* Easter dress and Bryn requested a *fancy* one. Done!

Missing our Reilly girl! I did love and appreciate the text that she sent to all of us on Easter morning saying that she was really regretting not coming to church with us! Me too. 

Also missing...Kameron. He was long gone off to pick up his lady!! LOL

Church was extra delightful in that it was only Sacrament Meeting with refreshments afterward. Man, I wish every Sunday was like that! Abbey is not a member of the church but was interested in everything and, of course, you know our joy of having church visitors!! Kam blessed the sacrament and Abbey got to see him in action. :) We had a series of great talks and some wonderful musical numbers! Bryn sang with the Primary. She also got to be the reverence child. This is a new thing that our bishop has started. Every Sunday 10 minutes before church starts a child from Primary stands up in front of the congregation with their arms folded and models being reverent. This was the first Sunday that it was done and all of the Primary kids were mesmerized seeing Bryn up there and wondering what she was doing!! But...they all were a lot more reverent...and their parents too! ;)

After church was over we headed home to change our clothes and then drove out to the lake to celebrate with Reilly and extended family. Kam brought Abbey out too! The weather was sunny and gorgeous. Perfect Easter weather!

My mom's house was decorated beautifully for Easter dinner. The food was fantastic! Ham, funeral potatoes, Kelley's baked beans, Jordin's individual baked bries, Stacey's jello jigglers, veggies and ranch, Reilly's seven layer dip, my pimento cheese for crackers and rolls, and deviled eggs. I made my grandma's green punch and we had cheesecake and cupcakes for dessert.

My mom had four different tables set up with little purple pansies as the place cards.

Reilly and Hunter arrived and joined in the festivities!

Kam and his girlfriend, Abbey. We adore her!

Kids Table: Jaylah, RJ, Bryn, Elle, and River

Teen Table: Dane and Ailey

Young Adult Table. 

These guys were having so much fun that when Tyler and I were done eating we came and joined them. Having older kids is pretty great. I didn't get a picture of the Adult Table with everyone there. Everyone was too busy eating!

It was good to visit with everyone.
Loved having these guys here this year. 

Missed Kirk and his family.

Then it was time for the annual Easter Egg Hunt! Our number of egg hunters is dwindling. I told Jordin and Ramon to get on that! All the rest of us are DONE! :)

Dane and Ailey were the Egg Hiders.

The Egg Hunters lined up youngest to oldest.

The Gate Keepers

I make them all stop during the hunt to pose for pictures. They love it...LOL. Check out Elle's face!

These two made good use of team work! I never got a picture of RJ. That kid was a blur!

Then it was time for the much anticipated and forbidden Ladies of the Lake Egg Toss:

Jordin won this year with Reilly a close second!

That night we stayed late with Jordin and Ramon. We had fun talking around the bonfire with our kids, my mom, and the Hills. We stayed far too late for a school night but the weather was beautiful and the lake was calm. A perfect end to a beautiful Easter.

I love this picture that reminds me of the day that the world changed and nothing was ever the same again! I love that we celebrate the Savior and all that He has done for us and continues to do for us. I loved the reminder that we read on Easter morning that has stayed with me for several days... that it wasn't the nails that kept the Savior up on the cross it was LOVE.  

HAPPY EASTER!

Bryn's 10th Birthday!

Happy Golden Birthday to Bryn!!

Bryn turned 10 years old on the 10th. Bryn at 10 is still a delightful breath of fresh air. She is sunny, happy, positive, loving, kind, helpful, smart, talented, and funny. Lately she has gotten a really dry sense of humor and I am LOVING it! That girl can hold her own with her older siblings!

This year for Bryn's birthday Tyler and I pulled off our best parental surprise yet! It nearly killed us to keep the secret. We had to keep it for two VERY LONG weeks! Bryn's dream has been to get a pug. She has wanted one since she was super tiny. She has grown up listening to stories about her older siblings and their beloved Mrs. Beasley; our pug who passed away before Bryn was born. She really was an awesome dog! So Bryn has heard Mrs. Beasley stories her whole life and has wanted a pug of her own but we have always said no and that we were just too busy to add a dog into the mix. Bryn has pug books, pug shirts, many many stuffed animal pugs, pug socks, draws pugs, and writes stories and poems about them all the time! That girl is crazy about pugs!!

After our Thanksgiving trip to Portland where we hung out with Susan and Dan and their cute bichon and havanese dogs we decided that *maybe* we should get a dog in the near future because we really enjoyed hanging out with their cute dogs! Particularly their Havanese  named Janie. We told the kids that we would *consider* getting a dog after Kam graduated and left on his mission. The girls were thrilled and decided that if we were to get a boy dog we would name him "Elder Johnson". LOL. Kameron really wanted us to get the dog before he left for his mission so that he could have time to enjoy the dog too. Tyler and I weren't totally convinced but we were definitely coming around to the idea. Tyler registered us on a Havanese rescue site.

Right around this time Kelley told us that Elle had been begging for a dog and that her co-worker had a pug who was having puppies and they were all spoken for but if there happened to be an extra puppy Kelley could buy it for Elle. Tyler and I knew that Bryn would be so happy for Elle and so sad for herself so we didn't say anything to her at the time just in case it didn't happen. Well, it did happen...and there happened to be not just one extra puppy but TWO extra puppies. Kelley and Elle went to visit their brand new pug puppy Henry and Kelley asked us if we would be interested in the other one... a little girl. We, of course, said YES!! We knew that we wanted to surprise Bryn with the puppy for her birthday. Kelley posted several pictures of Elle and their new puppy Henry and we had to tell Bryn that Elle was getting a pug for her birthday...which was two weeks before Bryn's birthday. Bryn was a little teary but very happy for Elle and was grateful that she would at least get to visit and play with a pug. But we knew that she was having a little bit of a hard time. It was so hard not to tell her as we heard her congratulate Elle and be excited for her. Bryn was really a little champ at trying to be happy for Elle and she genuinely was!! She started asking if we could check the rescue sites more often and try to find our Havanese as soon as possible. LOL.

Bryn's birthday arrived and it was festive from the start. She woke up to a GIGANTIC balloon, her favorite donuts, and chocolate milk from Tyler.

She headed off to school and I brought her our traditional birthday fast food lunch. She was so excited for that and had requested her usual: Taco Bell...two bean burritos and a slushy.

Then when school was over she was surprised to see Tyler with me when I came to pick her up. She was even more shocked to see Kameron and Ailey in the car!! We told her that we were off on a special birthday adventure and that it was a special surprise!!

Kelley's co-worker lives about 25 minutes away and Bryn had absolutely no idea where we were going. It wasn't near any place that we usually go or near any of her favorite places. When we drove into a random neighborhood she was so baffled. She was even more confused when she saw Reilly waiting in her car in front of the house. Tyler had us all wait in the car while he went to the door. Bryn thought maybe we were at the house of one of Tyler's co-workers. Ha ha! Tyler motioned for us all to come in and Bryn hesitantly walked in the house and into Jimmy's living room. He was holding his pug so she was already mesmerized and didn't even see the area with the puppies. Jimmy said to her, "Do you want to see the puppies? They are right over there." Bryn looked over and saw the puppies and I really think she was in shock! LOL. Tyler and I said, "Elle isn't the only one getting a puppy for her birthday day... you are too!!" The kids yelled "Happy Birthday Brynnie!!" She was so stunned and was like, "Wait, what?!" We had to repeat that she was getting a puppy too! Jimmy handed her the little girl pug and I thought Bryn was going to die of joy!!

Meet Miss Beverly Beatrice Beauchamp the pug!!

Beverly is absolutely darling!! Bryn is completely smitten and so are we!! We got to hold all of the puppies while we were there. Elle's pug Henry got a lot of love and so did the others. Who doesn't love cuddling puppies!!

Kam is holding Henry and Reilly is snuggling the cutest and fattest boy pug. Ailey was holding puppies too until she got pooped on and then she was done. Ha ha!!

Beverly is so little and still has several more weeks to go until she can come home with us. Her sweet owner is letting us visit weekly. It was really hard to tear ourselves away!! The minute we got into the car Bryn burst into tears. She was so happy!!

After that we all had to take a minute to calm down so we drove to the nearest Zips for celebratory shakes!! That was one happy bunch of Johnson kids!!

Later that night Bryn requested dinner at Senor Froggy's and Bryn declared it the best day of her entire life!!

Grandma Judie and Grandpa Joel had a package waiting for her at our house. They had sent Bryn a vintage 1960s Madame Alexander doll. Grandpa Joel had made a special chair for the doll to sit in. Our kids are vintage collectors... the next generation. LOL.

Bryn blew out her candles on a donut that night and said that she couldn't think of a wish because every time she makes a wish it is always for a pug and it had already come true! Tyler and I (and the kids) had the most fun surprising her!! I really can't believe we pulled it off! It was the SLOWEST two weeks ever!!

We celebrated Bryn some more that weekend. Bryn's day-of-fun included: sushi, dessert at the Couer d' Alene resort, and going to a trampoline park. We did it all!

After lunch we went shopping:

Then onto the resort for dessert:

Then to the trampoline park:

Sunday after church we had a fun visit with Jordin, Ramon, and the kids. We had Bryn's requested favorite meal: salad bar, tempura shrimp, Dr. Pepper, and Texas sheet cake!

Bryn's 10th Birthday was GOLDEN indeed!!

Happy Birthday Brynnie!! 

We love you very much!!