On Our 14th Anniversary My True Love Gave To Me...

One crazy Ernie up in a tree!!
It never fails. Each year as our wedding anniversary rolls around something inevitably comes up that costs a lot of money and we end up having to spend money we would've liked to use for a trip or something fun on other "not so fun" items. It's now a running joke...in years past we've given each other tires, a transmission for the Suburban, a refrigerator, a washer etc. Suckeroo.
This year a big ponderosa pine tree bit the big one. I think the cause was the infamous pine beetle but who knows for sure. All we know is that it started dying last summer and was completely dead by Christmas. Due to the huge amounts of snow we have had and the extremely unpleasant estimates of what it would cost us to have the tree taken down (several thousands of dollars) we haven't had it done and have been living in fear of that monster crashing down in the freak wind storms so common up here and destroying our house or one of our neighbors houses. Needless to say we haven't won many brownie points with our neighbors...and have had to avoid the bank all together where "Two Tone Tony" (the most vocal of our neighbors) works and would constantly ask us when we were having that tree removed. We have come to despise that tree.
Ironically when we bought our house we were thrilled about being the owners of such a majestic pine tree. We gleefully told each other that it was by far the "biggest pine tree in the neighborhood" and weren't we so "lucky" to have it in our yard. As they say...Pride goeth before the fall...now you don't even want to know how many times we have cursed that sorry sucking tree and bemoaned our bad luck for having it in our yard and why did it have to be so @#$% BIG!!
Finally we got an estimate that was more in our budget and we jumped on it. But you get what you pay for and what we paid for is Ernie and his merry band of idiots. In their attempts to remove our tree which they termed as "the spookiest tree" they had ever seen they damaged our fence, destroyed our lawn and freaked out our neighbors who didn't take kindly to their Jed Clampett style truck, smashed up van (undoubtedly destroyed by a falling tree), and an decrepit bobcat belching toxic blue smoke that descended upon our street. Our neighbors ran (literally) to get their cars off the street as crazy Ernie drove that bobcat like a madman dumping 600 lb chunks of tree trunk into his jalopy. Today the job was finally finished and we were happy to bid them adieu.
Again for your viewing enjoyment...Ernie up in our completely deader than a doornail pine tree that is over 110 feet tall. He shimmed up the tree cutting off dead limbs with his chain saw as he climbed up. Here he is nearing the top.

What? You don't see Ernie? Here's a closer look...

This little tree removal project took over a week with multiple terse phone calls from Tyler to Ernie asking just where the heck he was and when might we expect him.
Finally the planets aligned just right for good ol' Ernie and he actually began doing the work of removing the tree but left this little phallic beauty in our yard for several days until he could return to do a "little" more work.

Pretty isn't it?
On Mother's Day morning they arrived to remove a bit more of the tree, scouted around our house and helped themselves to our rakes, shovels, and recycling box (which they dumped the contents out of onto our drive way and left) to scoop up the debris. Yes, they were quite the professional outfit...excuse me... "urban loggers".
Thank goodness we were on our way to the lake and didn't stay to watch Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (Ernie's helpers) narrowly avoid death as they scampered out of the way as Ernie dropped limbs, cut things up with the chain saw, and dropped huge chunks of trunk right by them. It was terrifying enough the day of most of the tree removal. No hard hats, no safety goggles, just two goons who didn't have sense enough to move out of the way until Ernie would yell at them from high up in the tree. One guy nearly got creamed. It was much better not to watch and to just hope and pray that our house would still be standing when we returned. It was...barely.

The end result

But on a high note...we had a great anniversary. It was a true love fest...with sushi that is...poor Tyler...that famous 6 week check has yet to roll around. But the sushi was fabulous especially after months of not being able to eat it. For all you locals there is a great new restaurant on Grand!!
Happy 14th Anniversary to Us!!