Wednesday, September 22, 2021

August 2021

August was a gut punch. There is no other way to describe it. 


Kirk and Meki left and my week at the lake began. One good thing about the constant extensions and closing date set-backs was that I got my full week at the lake which I wouldn't have had otherwise. So there's that. Not that it was a week of fun in the sun but there were some glimmering moments here and there.

The day that Kirk and family headed back to Utah; we had to be in Spokane. Tyler was conducting at church and some of the bishopric were out of town so there was no avoiding it. Ailey went to church with him. Bryn caught another cold so I kept her at home and I took a mental health day. It was much needed. I watched Sacrament Meeting online.

After church Tyler and I decided that with all of the chaos and stress of the last week; we needed some serious down time. Only he and I returned to the lake. The quiet was needed. I needed an opportunity to be in stillness. We stayed out at the lake by ourselves for several days. There was still a lot of work and cleaning to be done but we took some time every morning and evening to enjoy the water and and the peace.

One morning while sitting out on the dock by myself; I saw a sight that made the otter seem quite normal! A nun in full habit and wimple came paddling by! That is definitely a first!




While we were at the lake the buyer had an appraisal scheduled and we had to vacate for a few hours. Thank goodness the appraisal came in nice and high and backed up our asking price just like we knew it would and despite my sisters insistence that it would not. 

Tyler and I brought our boat out. Every night we went on a sunset cruise. It was relaxing, peaceful, and nice after long hot work days. The weather was once again in the 100s, humid (ugh), and smoky.

Mid-week we picked up the girls. Bryn was feeling better by then and Ailey finally had a day off of work. Reilly met us and we had an incredible day with our girls swimming, laughing, boating, tubing, and then a perfect golden evening.



Ailey and I enjoying a moment of calm!


Reilly on a giant parrot! We had two of these. They were the only floats left at the store in town so we floated on those two crazy parrots and a giant flamingo for two weeks! Ha ha!



Ailey wanted Reilly to take some *faux* senior pictures for her out at the lake. They turned out really cute. These will be very special for her to have. I thought about scheduling family pictures on our week but it felt weird to do it without Kameron.


























We played all that day and into the night. Due to the smoke everything was a golden pink. We enjoyed every single minute even after it got dark. This was Ailey and Bryn's last night at the lake house.




Ailey and Bryn waving to Grandma Vic in my mom's cove. There is actually a for sale sign on the cliffs above the cove. The girls laughed that even Grandma Vic is getting out of here. LOL.


The movie On Golden Pond and its soundtrack has a lot of special significance for our family. My mom loved it. There are even loons on our lake and I am always saying to Tyler, "Look Norman! The loons!" It is one of my all-time favorite movies. This night was so perfectly golden and beautiful that we made the mistake of playing the On Golden Pond theme song. Cue the sobbing. As I sat on the dock literally sobbing my eyes out with the theme song playing...one lone duck dropped out of the sky directly in front of me. Like literally dropped out of nowhere! So much so that we all jumped! The duck swam directly to me, faced me, and stared at me for about five minutes straight. No joke. It got as close to me as it could without touching me and stared at me until I stopped crying.


See!

Then that duck went around our dock to each of us and did the same. One-by-one. The girls were like, "Grandma?" LOL. The funny part was that when they said that... the duck would go right over to them. They called that duck several times and each time the duck would go to the person that had said "Grandma." The duck then swam around the boat like it was checking it out and then swam up and down the shore line of the property checking things out. Then that duck came over to each of us again, one-by-one, looked at us very intently, and then swam right over to my mom's cove. My mom always did say that she wanted to be reincarnated! LOL. This was but one of several weird things that occurred during the last two weeks there.



After the duck incident everyone did one last tubing run in the gold. Round and round the lake we went soaking it all in; then Reilly had to leave. She came out two days later for her last time at the lake house. After she left, the girls came in from the water, and helped clean. When it was time for them to go there were definite tears. They literally hugged the house goodbye.




I was glad that a day that could've been only sadness was actually a day of gratitude and good memory making. 

We drove the girls back home for the night. (Reilly had picked up Ailey and brought her out with her.) Tyler and I planned to go back to the lake after taking the girls home. When we got to Spokane it was around 11pm. We dropped them off and were heading back to the car to return to the lake when we saw a homeless looking guy walking down our street. (Not a normal sight we see.) He looked drugged out of his mind. He crossed the street and came right toward us but then went and sat on the ground in our next door neighbor's driveway. (They were out of town.) We went back into the house to tell the girls that we weren't leaving just yet. 

We waited a bit and then went back out to see if he was still there. He was. While we were looking at him... he got up and walked down our neighbor's drive way and into their back yard. Tyler went onto our deck to see what he was doing. I got in the car to watch and see if he would come out of their yard on the other side of the house. The guy went up onto our neighbor's deck and sat down. Then he went under their deck and tried to open their basement sliding glass door. That's when Tyler called the police. The police said that they would come check things out. While waiting for the police to arrive the guy passed out on their lawn. We waited and waited for the police to arrive. It took them forever and eventually we all fell asleep. Tyler woke up in the middle of the night, did a search, and didn't see the guy he so assumed that the police must have come and taken care of the situation. So we headed back to the lake. When we left the lake... the windows were all open and the fans were going to try to cool the house down. We thought it was just going to be a quick trip into Spokane. We didn't dare leave the lake house unattended all night. So we had the girls sleep in our bedroom with our bedroom door locked as an extra precaution. When we drove away there was no sign of the guy anywhere.

The next morning the temps had drastically dropped and it was pouring rain. Ailey called on her way to work to say that there was still no sign of the guy. Tyler and I did some work at the lake house and then took a load of stuff to Goodwill. After that, since it was still raining, we decided to go into to CDA for lunch. We went to Woops Bakery for our favorite brie, apple, and arugula croissant sandwiches and some macarons.

While eating lunch Bryn called to say that the guy had been spotted again. He was back on our neighbor's deck. Obviously the police had never come and the guy had never left. While Bryn was talking to us on the phone; she saw out of the window that the neighbor on the other side of Doug and Terri's house was mowing his lawn. He had just started mowing when he saw the guy under our next door neighbor's deck. Bryn said that he stared at the guy, stopped mowing his lawn, and went directly inside the house. We told Bryn to stay inside and that he was probably calling the police. Maybe they would finally come and check things out with two reports!! Bryn stayed on the phone with us and sure enough they did. The police had to physically drag the guy out from under our next door neighbor's deck. Then he sat on the curb while the police questioned him. Eventually four police cars, a fire truck, and ambulance all arrived and they took the guy away. It was quite the happening on our street.



That same day I got the release of interest form from Stacey so that I could FINALLY sell the cargo trailer. The buyer was still patiently waiting nearly a month later. So ridiculous. Also the same day that I got it, I was dealing with attorneys, realtors, and the title company ALL DAY. It was awful. That night the sunset cruise and night swim with Tyler was definitely needed!! What a 24 hours.

While it was still my week at the lake Tyler and I drove back up to Sandpoint (an hour away) and waited another 2 hours to get Bonner County to clear the title for the cargo trailer and then had to make arrangements to meet the guy who was buying it. While at the DMV we found out that the guy who was buying the lake house needed a THIRD extension due to the appraiser! This was after the buyer paid almost $4k for a "quick" appraisal. Appraisers are the WORST. Once again our closing date was postponed but the walk thru that was scheduled for Monday after my week was still happening on the same day. That meant that literally everything had to be out of the lake house and Lilac Lodge and off of the property. Everything had to be gone by my last day at the lake. That news required a trip to the Pie Hut in Sandpoint to deal with the stress of it all! Holy Moly. The last vestiges of crap left in homes when you are trying to move out seems to multiply every time you leave the room. So much left over crap. It was overwhelming.


That afternoon Reilly came out to have her last day at the lake and so we had the emotionality of that too. Supporting our children through this type of change...especially one who currently lives in Minnesota...hasn't been easy but they have been TROOPERS. Their emotional maturity puts their aunts to shame. I am so proud of our kids! 


Throughout the remaining days of my week; Tyler and I worked our butts off. The week continued to be filled with attorney issues and unpleasant emails and texts from sisters while we did the work that they should have done and fixed the things that they damaged. Boating and dock time were imperative to decompress. It was hard enough emotionally to close up this place for good without being the scapegoat and punching bag for their misplaced anger and guilt. We had many moonlight swims and late night talks on the dock with our feet trailing in the silky water as we gazed up at the stars. One night we took the boat out after dark with the lights on and floated in darkness and starlight. 


As the end of the week neared the finality set in. It was good that it was just Tyler and I out there. It wouldn't have been a good environment for our kids. I was truly at a breaking point and so was he. We fought A LOT. I cried A LOT. We were so burnt out with all that had been left on our shoulders. We were absolutely wiped emotionally. How much can a person take?! We were annoyed and angry at being left with everything!! We were tired of everything and everyone including each other. 

The last day at the lake I was there by myself for most of it. I didn't sleep well the night before. I woke up that morning in the house alone and sad. I thought, "This is the last morning that I will ever wake up at the lake." Tyler had gone into Spokane super early that morning because he had meetings he had to attend and was conducting at church and blah blah blah.... it was a good thing though. I don't think our marriage could've have survived that last day. Not even joking. Most things were done by this point except for the final clean before leaving. I had all day to be by myself. The day was bizarrely cold. Barely 50 degrees. There was fog on the lake all day. 


So I sat and I remembered and I felt all the things. This last day experience will have to be its own post. It was a day I won't forget. 

On the paranormal front...the 2 weeks prior, including the week that Kirk was here, were very active. I don't know exactly what I believe about ghosts and the paranormal but things happened here and have happened for as long as I can remember. Kirk, Tyler, and I all had some crazy experiences over the last two weeks. While I was there alone on the last day things happened that are unexplainable. Change is hard I guess even for ghosts. I'll have to do a post about all of the paranormal events that are a part of this property just so I have it for this journal/family history blog. I am so curious about what will happen when the new owner moves in. Thus far our ghosts are very protective of us and the property. I wonder what they will make of him. Yes, I hear it. I know that I sound like an insane person but...

There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. 

I'll include one strange experience here. On the last day, Tyler came back out to the lake that night after he was done with all of his church duties and dealing with the kids. He brought me dinner. I had asked him to stop at the store and get some white flowers (our tradition) to float on the lake for Mom before we left for good. He forgot and I was upset. That night we pulled the boat out and did our final walk through of the house. Before we left we went out on the dock. It was late and dark and cold. In the moonlight you could see the fog rising on the lake. It had been there all day. Tyler had his headlamp on and we were looking out at the fog when we saw something in the water. It was floating toward us. One long stemmed white flower.


It came floating toward us out of the darkness and fog from the direction of my mom's cove. It gives me chills just thinking about it. We couldn't believe our eyes. Here I was going to send flowers to my mom and I guess she sent one to me instead. 

We left the lake at around 10:30 pm. It was heartbreaking. I sobbed the whole way home. Tyler cried too. This wasn't just goodbye to a lake house. It was goodbye to everything. My mom, family, the past, childhood, relationships, innocence, what was, and what can never be again. Even though heartbroken; I was glad to do it. It was time.

The month didn't end there. It felt like it should have but unfortunately it didn't. The rest of the month continued to be awful filled with attorneys, realtors, title companies, and notaries. Sisters not signing documents. Sisters not returning documents and delaying documents. Sisters harassing the title company, realtor, and us. I don't understand being unkind to people who are just trying to do their jobs...like title company employees. Let's just say that my sisters (two in particular) are not well liked...or even liked at all. 

During the buyer's agent's walk through of the property there was a crawl space type thing in one of the garages that still had items that the junk company, hired by Kirk and I, had left behind that the buyer wanted removed. Plus back behind a giant raspberry patch there is an old outhouse that is basically hidden from view by the giant raspberry patch. We had forgotten about it. The inside of the old outhouse was filled with tons of gardening stuff and junk (newspapers, bottles, garbage) of my grandparents. The buyer wanted it all out immediately. I literally had to lie on the floor and breath deeply. This house was being purchased "as-is" and Kirk and I had already paid $3000 out of our own pockets for a junk company to come and remove items from the seven garages and that was AFTER Tyler and I had already emptied several of the garages completely by ourselves. 

Upon hearing this news...my sisters threw an absolute fit! They demanded that Kirk and I come back out and remove all of it (after an entire summer of doing it ALL ourselves) all while stating that they had "removed the majority of the items" from the lake house themselves. Outright lies. They threatened us with their lawyer. It was too much. Our realtor was done with them. She told us that Kirk and I weren't going to do one more thing on that property or have to deal with our sisters again. Janna (our realtor), her husband, and daughter came out and removed all that was left THEMSELVES (including cleaning out an old outhouse!) They did this literally out of the kindness of their hearts! Kirk and I were completely shocked and incredibly grateful. I cried. Janna has been an incredible support. We couldn't have picked a better realtor!!





Next up was Girls Camp. Ailey's work and dance team schedule made it too difficult for her to go but it was Bryn's first year and she was SUPER excited! Our stake was doing a modified Girls Camp due to COVID's continuing presence. The older girls were supposed to go for the first 3 days and then the younger girls were to go for the last three days. 


Cutest little 1st year!!


My friend Amy texted me this cute picture of Bryn and her BFFs! They were having a blast!

Girls Camp started off great! The older girls got their three days in and all went well. They came home the same day that the younger girls left for camp. The little girls got one glorious 24 hour period before the smoke rolled in from a forest fire that made the air quality hazardous and they all had to come back home. The stake did the best that they could and tried to continue some of their activities at the stake center. They were bussed there directly and had a bunch of things planned for them including a big dance party. One of the stake leaders had all of the first years go to her house for a slumber party. Then they all came back to the stake center the next day for another day of *camp* events. So while disappointing...Bryn still had fun and made the best of everything. Hats off to the stake girls camp leaders and their ability to pivot!!

Tyler also got the PLEASURE of performing in not one but two skits at Girls Camp this year! Ha ha! He and the bishopric did a "Dads Olympics" skit that was pretty hilarious and quite a hit! His outfit alone was sheer perfection! LOL. Bryn filmed it for me and wow...yeah...wow. Ha ha!! He is still being recognized in public by girls from our stake for his performance!



A picture that Tyler took at Girls Camp. Not too shabby! This camp is on the Pend Oreille River in North Idaho.

Then it was onto Farm Chicks. This nearly did it. This was the thing that almost finished the job on my sanity this month. Farm Chicks in the biggest and most well-known vintage and antiques show in the western states. It is a HUGE production every year. It requires a HUGE amount of effort from its curators. The show promoter has very HIGH standards and expectations and while fun it is very stressful in a good year. This was not a good year. 

The last Farm Chicks show that I participated in was June 2019. (It is a once-a-year show.) My mom, Stacey, and I all did it together. The 2020 show was cancelled due to COVID. The 2021 show was up in the air for most of the year but was eventually scheduled... although postponed until August. (Of course!) I wouldn't have done this show but I was required to pay in 2019 for the 2020 show and this is a very expensive show. The money wouldn't have been refunded to me so it was either do the show or lose the money. Tyler did not want me to do it and was like "Forget the money! It's been gone since 2019!" Let's add to the mix that Stacey was also planning to do the show and would have a booth space right next to me. Double don't do it! But I had made a commitment to do the show in 2019. The show promoter is a friend and I didn't want to let her down...many curators were cancelling and doing just that...and I had already invested a large sum of money. So against my better judgement; I recommitted to participate. All while my booth at the store was selling out and my inventory was super limited since I was spending all of my time and effort dealing with the damn lake house. Cue the nervous breakdown. 

In the two weeks between vacating the lake house and the show... I found, painted, crafted, and curated literally everything in my booth. Those were NOT fun weeks on top of many previous not fun weeks. Those two weeks are an awful blur. Feeling stressed was an understatement. Then my friend, the show promoter, called me. She had been contacted by Stacey who was up to her usual tricks and full of her usual BS. She will stop at NOTHING to drag me through the mud. Luckily...the show promoter is a very supportive friend!! 

During the two weeks of Farm Chicks prep madness... I was still dealing with attorneys, realtors, siblings, title companies etc etc etc... and the closing date kept getting delayed and then delayed again and then delayed once more. AND... I had to speak in Sacrament Meeting in another ward in my stake. I don't know how I made it through and got everything done but I did. Meanwhile we are all back in masks at church because the Delta Variant is taking off and going nuts. Ailey has to wear a mask at work again despite being vaccinated. School is supposed to start at the end of the month and no one knows if the kids will even be going back. Let's just say this month was AWFUL. And...Tyler's company who was going to have employees return in September decided against that and a return date to the office is unknown.

Some good news was that the week before Farm Chicks we got our suburban back! One month after hitting the deer. It looks fantastic! I was so glad that it arrived in the nick of time. We also had to sign one more extension on the closing date...Kirk and I were barely hanging on... Janna had her work cut out for her! But this same week we got the news that we would most likely close on or around Farm Chicks. This same week Kirk had some stressful things going on in his extended family and then all hell broke loose in Afghanistan. Unbelievable. We had to have a family video chat discussion with all of our kids who were trying to process what was happening over there and explain what is barely explainable. Heartbreaking sadness and worry for the innocent people there.

Finally Farm Chicks rolled around. On the day leading up to it Tyler requested that I go to bed at 7:30pm. I don't blame him. I was not a peach. Tyler and the girls were champs and loaded the trailer and organized the storage unit and did a lot of things so that I didn't have to be involved and could concentrate on the lake house issues that were never ending.

I was dreading set-up day. This is a stressful day on its own because you have to unload and set up your booth space within a specific amount of time. I am always setting up down to the last minute. THEN... throw in that Stacey (and Kelley who she had helping her) had a booth space right behind me. Good times. Thank goodness Stacey was moved BEHIND me. Tyler, the girls, and I got there early and set up my back drop and perimeter hours before they even arrived. It blocked their booth completely from view. 

As I was unloading items from my bins hours later; Stacey's husband walked past me and made a rude comment. I just waved at him. He walked past me again and said something else rude and I just ignored him. I don't have to respond to behavior like that. Stacey and her daughter ignored me all day. Kelley came over and gave me, Tyler, and the girls a hug. Elle was with her. It was really nice to see Elle. Bryn was THRILLED! I guess Stacey's daughter wasn't allowed to talk to any of our family. So she didn't. That was sad. I love my nieces and nephews.

Then while still setting up their booth they knocked over and broke several things in my booth. No apologies. No nothing. So many vendors came over to talk to me about that incident over the weekend. They were incredulous! But right at the height of my anger with them I got a phone call from the title company. All documents were in and we were closing! I grabbed my laptop and signed all of the documentation while sitting at the checkout in my booth. I was talking to Kirk on the phone while he did the same. We weren't *officially* closed but we were *unofficially* closed. All we were waiting for was the money to fund. Hallelujah!


I am so grateful for Tyler and the kids who were such amazing helpers!!


Here are a few pictures of my Farm Chicks booth this year. I had two booth spaces side by side.


From one side...


From the other...





Both days of the Farm Chicks show were a HUGE success! Whew! I was worried but it all worked out.


When your husband helps out in the booth...Ha ha!



By the day of the actual show all of the cousins were allowed to hang out together. Thank goodness. My girls had a great time with their cousins who they love and miss. I have some very cute pictures of the four of them but I don't feel comfortable posting them here. I occasionally exchanged words with Kelley and Ailey and Bryn said that she was nice to them. Stacey didn't speak to me except huffing something one morning as she walked past me. Oh well. That was to be expected.

The unfortunate news was that they had quite a lot to say about me to longtime customers and friends. Nothing good. Much of it was relayed to me by many of those longtime customers and friends. That is disappointing. I said nothing negative about them and even sent customers in their direction. 



They like to claim that Kirk and I have *sold the family legacy* yet they were LITERALLY selling sentimental family items at the show like this sign that has my great-grandpa's handwriting and was in his store. Some customer posted it on Instagram in a "Farm Chicks Finds" post and I saw it. Very recognizable. It's been in the mudroom at the lake house for years. Their hypocrisy is off the charts.

On the second day of show...about an hour after it started... we heard a big CRASH! People went running. A man (shopper) an aisle over from me had a grand mal seizure. He grabbed onto a display that was filled with glass and pulled it down on himself as he collapsed. He was cut all over his face. There was blood everywhere. One of our booth neighbors was a nurse. She ran over to help and sent her husband running to the car for her medical bag. The man had stopped breathing (totally blue) and she had to intubate him while waiting (for what seemed a very long time) for the paramedics to arrive. It was terrifying. Customers and vendors were all praying. We did find out at the end of the day that he was okay and that our booth neighbor had saved his life. What a terrible moment.

But the biggest gut punch also occurred on the last day of the show. My good friends (who have also been Farm Chicks vendors) came to my booth to chat and were talking about how amazing it is that the new medical clinic in Sandpoint, Idaho is going to be named after my mom. This was news to me. I was completely blindsided. It turns out that my sisters have known about this for over a YEAR AND A HALF and purposefully kept this information from me and Kirk. A YEAR AND A HALF!! Jordin has been working for the very group that is building it and still felt justified in not telling two of my mom's kids about this. Just when I think they cannot go lower they go so incredibly low that I am stunned and truly aghast. To try to keep two of my mom's children, their spouses, and eight of her grandchildren from knowing about and being present at an event (there is to be a dedication and ribbon cutting ceremony) that is in honor of her incredible career is truly beyond words. Cry all you want on Facebook and Instagram about the injustice of you not being gifted a vacation home and demanding that you are owed one. Spare me. This is the kind of stuff that relationships don't come back from. It has taken me weeks to recover from this level of cruelty to even focus on the incredible honor this is to my mom and her career.


This is the rendering of what will be called The Victoria McClellan King Memorial Clinic.

Kirk called the guy who now has my mom's position to get all of the details. It sounds like it should be completed mid-December right around her birthday. He also called my sister who was completely defensive and nonapologetic. 

We officially closed on the lake house on August 24th, 2021. 

Kirk and his family (in SLC) and my family here in Spokane all got sushi that night to note "THE END". I cannot even tell you the relief it was when Janna called me to tell me the news. She was like, "Kristin, you can take a deep breath now and relax. You no longer own the lake house." I wondered what I would feel when I heard those words...sadness, regret, panic, happiness? I felt sadness and immense relief. Overwhelming relief. I still do. 



We also did something that might have become an *unfortunate* new tradition. Double dessert. After the sushi we needed a little something more. We took the girls to Huckleberry's to pick out a dessert. They asked if they could have two desserts since it was a unique occasion...happiness that there was an *end* to some of the stress and sadness that there was an *end.* So we did. Then they requested to do it again a few days later on the first day of school. Double dessert from Huckleberry's...one dessert to celebrate the first day of school and one dessert to deal with the *sadness* that summer is over. We let them but this cannot become a habit. LOL.

In other news...The Spokane Mission President asked that all of the members residing in the mission to pray on our knees every day at 5pm for the missionaries for the foreseeable future. Interesting. We have been doing it and including Kam and his companion and all of the Minneapolis Minnesota missionaries too.



WA reinstated the mask mandate. Masks must be worn in all public buildings again. We have been doing this in church for a few weeks and you can't believe the drama it has caused. I am baffled by it. It's two hours out of your life or you can watch church online. Do whatever you want with the rest of your week... if you must... but why would people not want to protect primary kids (who can get COVID and can't get vaccinated) and others who are vulnerable. It's two hours. Make your *stand* against masks and the government elsewhere.



After I recovered from Farm Chicks...the girls gave me one day...then I had to jump right into back-to-school shopping mode! We had a whirlwind clothes shopping day but for their school supplies I just gave them my card and sent them to Target. Best idea ever. They had multiple Back-to-School BBQs and parties and we were off and running again.

Bryn had 7th Grade orientation and was very excited for school to start. 





Kameron is doing well and enjoying mission life! One morning I awoke to a picture of him in a COWBOY hat! Epic! That's a first.


He and his district have taken up golf on their P-days and went to Goodwill to find *golf clothes.* Ha ha!


Church wise.... my calling has been slower this month. Thank goodness! Despite having to speak in another ward; I was able to attend my own ward. I am occasionally needed to help in Primary which is fine by me. One Sunday we had another Linger Longer with fruit pizza, fruit and dip, and some savory snacks. Don't get in the way of my ward and food! LOL. Bryn and I brought dinner to the sister missionaries one night which was fun. We love have the best sister missionaries right now!! Tyler and I attended the baptism of a new family. That was exciting! They are a great new addition to our ward.

Ailey got her *official* senior pictures taken. I can't wait to see how they turn out. My friend Amy took her pictures and Ailey requested pictures down by the Spokane river. She had three outfit changes. LOL. Reilly came over the night before her pictures and did another eyelash lift on Ailey and Bryn. Everyone got haircuts and hair appointments including me. We are starting September fresh! This month brought out the haggard side in all of us!

We did squeeze a little friend time in here and there. My friends have been incredibly supportive and even showed up at Farm Chicks in droves. LOL. Then we made plans to get together with Naomi and Kevin in September which we are looking forward to. I also finally got to attend book club! Yay! A night around a bonfire in my friend's yard was just what I needed. Tyler and I did several night walks when we were in town. Not nearly enough to qualify as exercise though. One night we saw a big owl. Very cool. We have also really gotten into stargazing. I can now identify some of the less well known constellations. That's been fun.

This month was a hard one. I'm glad to see it go.

Saturday, September 18, 2021

Email from Elder Johnson #28

 Polos are for golfing ⛳ 🏌️‍♂️



8-30-21

Alohaaaaaaaaaaa, I know I said it in my last email but I'm sayin it again. Time do be flyingggggg out here.

Some big events happened these last few weeks, things that I did not expect to do on my mission, but here we are doing them. Gosh dang, it truly is the Lord's work yall. 

First things first, last p-day ya boi went golfing for the first time ever. It was sooooo dang fun. I was legit terrible but man we had such a blast. We went to goodwill and my comp and I bought polos cause you know you gotta wear a polo when you golf. So we at least looked the part (see golf pics). 

Another crazy thing that happened is NAC. So I'm one of the Social Media Leaders for our mission and once every 3 weeks we hop on this zoom call for the North American Central (NAC). Basically it's a bunch of social media leaders from a bunch of missions across the U.S. (along with some Salt Lake reps and Mission Presidents) and we get together and a mission will present/train everyone on what their mission is doing well. So we presented as a Hub last Thursday and it went soooo well! We were all heckin nervous but the Lord carried us through fr fr.

Lastly, on Saturday, I had my first exchange (an exchange is when companionships get switched up for a day). So I went with Elder McGlothlin up in New Prague for the day and we had a blast! He's brand new. He's been out for a good 3 weeks or so. But we had a partyyy. 

ALSO we had a zone conference this last week and my mission president was talking about a lot of really cool things but my favorite was this, he brought up my favorite scripture in the Bible, Psalms 46:10, which says, "Be still, and know that I am God." He broke down this verse, talked about the translation of Still and the translation of Know. 
•Still: to be weak, to release, to let go, surrender
•Know: to learn, to perceive, experience 
Then he pieced the verse back together and this is what it became
"We SURRENDER in order to EXPERIENCE God."
I loved this! So think about this week what are some things you could surrender in your life to better experience God?

Have an amazing week!



Love yall❤

-Elder Johnson

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Summer Book Reviews 2021


1.) You Have a Match by Emma Lord




This was Reese's Book Club YA pick for Winter 2021. I wanted a fun easy read and this YA novel fit the bill. Two secret sisters who find out that they're related via an ancestry DNA test who then spend the summer together at camp while hijinks ensue. Definite Parent Trap vibes but with a budding teenage romance as well.

From Goodreads: 

When Abby signs up for a DNA service, it’s mainly to give her friend and secret love interest, Leo, a nudge. After all, she knows who she is already: Avid photographer. Injury-prone tree climber. Best friend to Leo and Connie … although ever since the B.E.I. (Big Embarrassing Incident) with Leo, things have been awkward on that front. But she didn’t know she’s a younger sister. When the DNA service reveals Abby has a secret sister, shimmery-haired Instagram star Savannah Tully, it’s hard to believe they’re from the same planet, never mind the same parents—especially considering Savannah, queen of green smoothies, is only a year and a half older than Abby herself. The logical course of action? Meet up at summer camp (obviously) and figure out why Abby’s parents gave Savvy up for adoption. But there are complications: Savvy is a rigid rule-follower and total narc. Leo is the camp’s co-chef, putting Abby's growing feelings for him on blast. And her parents have a secret that threatens to unravel everything.

This is an easy breezy summer read. I read it in a day. In addition to being a contemporary YA romance, it has an interesting family/found family storyline. I loved the setting and the writing style is page-turning and snappy. There were a few weak spots...some plot point plausibility in the familial drama and I didn't love the amount of profanity. I rarely notice that in books except when it's YA. For some reason it seemed particularly glaring. Other than that...this is a quick feel good read.

My Rating: Okay

2.) Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey



I have always been a Matthew McConaughey movie fan. Besides being a handsome and talented actor; he has a reputation of being...shall we say...quirky. I was intrigued to read his memoir and see what all that handsome quirkiness was about.

From Goodreads:

From the Academy Award®–winning actor, an unconventional memoir filled with raucous stories, outlaw wisdom, and lessons learned the hard way about living with greater satisfaction.

Well Southern charmer though he may be; his book left quirky in the dust. It is squarely in the weird genre. Did I hate it? No. Did I love it? No. Did I like it? Sort of...ish. The book is interesting at times and an eye roll at others. Sometimes a BIG eyeroll.

Listen Matthew McConaughey isn't your typical Hollywood type. He is smart, funny, talented, adventurous, and quite a storyteller. But he is definitely...how to say this nicely...weird. He is also an overthinker, over-sharer, arty, free spirit. He lives life on his own strange terms and has a philosophical take on the world that is unconventional to say the least. This is his journey of self-discovery. Take that for what you will.

The book is basically existential ramblings, some stream-of-consciousness writing, poems, mixed bits from his journals/scrapbooks, with some anecdotal stories thrown in. He writes with candor...sometimes way too much...but he also tells some seriously hilarious stories. I loved reading about his unconventional family and his often alarming childhood. Wow. I also loved the part about him roaming around the country in an RV and living in RV parks for 2 years...just meetin' people. He is the quintessential southern storyteller. He can be warm and self-deprecating but he can also get tiresome.

I read the book but I hear that the audiobook is great with him narrating it, doing voices, and telling his tales in his own inimitable way which I think would be great but then you would also miss out on the crazy cacophony of pictures, scribbles, and pages from his diaries. So I am not sure what the best format would be. Even while reading the book, McConaughey's tone is all his own and his honeyed lazy Southern drawl comes right through the text and I loved it. He has one of the best voices hands down. But too much of the world-according-to-Matthew-McConaughey isn't necessarily a good thing. After reading the book, I listened to several podcasts where he tells some of his stories and he had me laughing until I was crying so...there's that. I don't know. I'm still processing the book and trying to figure out how I feel about it.

My Rating: It was an *experience*; not necessarily positive or negative, and definitely unique.

3.) On the Bright Side by Melanie Shankle



Melanie Shankle is a Christian writer I follow on Instagram. I also listen to her podcast with Sophie Hudson. She is funny and inspiring. 

From Goodreads:

In On the Bright Side, Melanie Shankle reminds us of the unchanging principles we can count on in a changing world. These are lessons that Melanie has learned along the way about how to find all the joy that life has to offer - and why encouragement is never something to keep to ourselves. Exploring topics such as dealing with comparisons, when life doesn't turn out like we expected, and how to find your people, Melanie invites us to lead with love in all areas of our lives. This delightful memoir highlights the joys of life told in Melanie's down to earth, relatable, and totally enjoyable style. On the Bright Side is a how-to guide to knowing - and living - what matters most.

In this book she shares personal stories about life, faith, marriage, friendship, and parenting all with a focus on being positive during difficult times and facing life with humor and gratitude. Her essays are funny, heartfelt, and always encouraging. I particularly loved all of her 80s references and the Texas nostalgia!

“We seem to have forgotten that we can disagree and still love. Me calling you an idiot for your political beliefs isn’t going to do one thing to change your mind; it will just change our relationship."

This book was a great palette cleanser between heavier books. It was a good reminder to look on the bright side especially during a global pandemic that feels like it will never end.

My Rating: Good.

4.) The Kitchen Front by Jennifer Ryan


I loved the premise of this book. WWII and a BBC radio cooking contest. Four different women in different life circumstances compete for the job of the first female host of the radio program The Kitchen Front.

From Goodreads:

In a new World War II-set story from the bestselling author of The Chilbury Ladies' Choir, four women compete for a spot hosting a wartime cookery program called The Kitchen Front - based on the actual BBC program of the same name - as well as a chance to better their lives...These four women are giving the competition their all--even if that sometimes means bending the rules. But with so much at stake, will the contest that aims to bring the community together serve only to break it apart? 

This book got off to a great start. I love historical fiction and I was immediately drawn into the story and the lives of the four women competitors. I loved learning about how women made do with food rations and shortages during WWII. The radio show, The Kitchen Front, was to help provide recipes, tips, and tricks for home cooks during this time. This part of the book is based on actual historical events and a real BBC radio program that did the same. I found it fascinating.

The characters had great promise too. There is Audrey the war widow, Zelda the London chef, Nell the kitchen maid from the manor house, and Gwendoline the Lady of the Manor. I really liked the first half of the book but then the pacing slowed WAY down and the book got incredibly slow. After our introduction to the various characters and their lives; their character development just seemed to stop. The novel remained on a surface level in both plot and characters. That was disappointing.

This was an easy and predictable read. Not bad but not great either. The most interesting parts of the book were the real wartime recipes. They were interesting but not necessarily palatable.

My Rating: Okay

5.) Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant


This unique book came highly recommended on my favorite book podcast "Currently Reading." It sounded fun and like an interesting departure from my usual genres.

From Goodreads:

Seven years ago, the Atargatis set off on a voyage to the Mariana Trench to film a “mockumentary” bringing to life ancient sea creatures of legend. It was lost at sea with all hands. Some have called it a hoax; others have called it a maritime tragedy. Now, a new crew has been assembled. But this time they’re not out to entertain. Some seek to validate their life’s work. Some seek the greatest hunt of all. Some seek the truth. But for the ambitious young scientist Victoria Stewart this is a voyage to uncover the fate of the sister she lost. Whatever the truth may be, it will only be found below the waves. But the secrets of the deep come with a price.

Sci-Fi and horror aren't my favorite genres but mermaid horror had me intrigued. The premise sounded cool. I was hoping that the book would be a bit more page-turning and scary. Instead I found it to be campy and corny. There just wasn't enough tension and suspense in the *scary* parts. It was just gory and gross. The characters lacked depth despite being a diverse cast. I wanted people to root for and that was lacking. Some characters like Jacque and his wife, Michi, seemed more like caricatures rather than fleshed out characters. 

Pacing was also an issue. The ending was abrupt and disjointed. Several plot lines were left hanging. I questioned why some of the characters were in the novel at all; as neither they nor their background story, seemed to add anything to the plot.

I did like how the author wove science into the story that added to the plausibility of the existence of mermaids in a fascinating way. I enjoyed learning more about the Mariana Trench and the Challenger Deep and spent an evening reading up on both of those. A lot of people really enjoy this book but it was not for me. I think this story would be better as movie rather than a novel.

My Rating: Not for me.

6.) Watership Down by Richard Adams


I needed a new night time insomnia classic to read and as I had never read this as a child I thought that I would give it a try. Tyler also recommended it. Well...it worked...it helped me to fall asleep quickly. LOL.

From Goodreads:

Set in England's Downs, a once idyllic rural landscape, this stirring tale of adventure, courage and survival follows a band of very special creatures on their flight from the intrusion of man and the certain destruction of their home. Led by a stouthearted pair of friends, they journey forth from their native Sandleford Warren through the harrowing trials posed by predators and adversaries, to a mysterious promised land and a more perfect society. 

I am not a fan of talking animal books. I'm just not. Even if they are classics. The first half of the book was incredibly slow. I wasn't sure where the author was going with these rabbits. But by the second half the action had picked up and I was a bit more interested in the story and the characters. Kudos to the author for making all of these rabbits quite vivid and with distinctive personalities. Some of them I enjoyed more than others. I loved Bigwig (“My Chief Rabbit has told me to stay and defend this run, and until he says otherwise, I shall stay here.") and was very annoyed by the mysterious psychic Fiver. The setting and world building were amazing. 

Somehow I found myself easily imagining Watership Down and the Honeycomb Rabbit Warren with all of its many burrows. The story telling is also layered with stories within the story although I'll admit that I didn't care for all of the rabbit tales.

This book isn't your typical children's fantasy novel. It is incredibly imaginative and the world building has astonishing depth. The Lapine society has it's own mythology, god, culture, and language. The narrative is heartfelt if at times slow. I have mixed feelings. I didn't love it but I do see why it is a classic. Although beautifully written; it had me wondering about the veracity of the origin story that the author discusses in the preface of the book. I don't buy it Richard Adams. 

My Rating: Okay


7.) Anxious People by Fredrik Backman


This was my book club's pick for July 2021. I've read two other Backman books: A Man Called Ove and My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry. I loved them both. I was excited to read this new one.

From Goodreads:

A poignant, charming novel about a crime that never took place, a would-be bank robber who disappears into thin air, and eight extremely anxious strangers who find they have more in common than they ever imagined.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book! I love Backman's writing style. It is abrupt, funny, and acerbic. I thought the circular and layered story telling was interesting. I loved watching all of the plot lines come together. Backman is brilliant. He is a stylistic master storyteller. The intentional movement and illumination of the characters as we move from people with no names and little facts to people with histories, sorrows, hopes, and dreams as the author drops hints to their back stories with unexpected revelations. (Many of which I did not see coming.) I was caught up in the story and enjoyed watching everything unfold. I laughed... there were some great one liners!! I also teared up a few times too. Fabulous! I loved this poignant and compassionate novel about human connection.

This was my favorite and (one of the most hilarious) quotes from the book. It had this mother of four  (two of whom are in their 20s) laughing HARD:

"Hand on heart. How many of us haven't wanted to pull a gun on a 20 year old?"

My Rating: I loved this quirky and beautifully written novel.

8.) The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton


This was, I think, my third Edith Wharton novel. This classic was written in 1905. I really enjoyed it too except for the ending. I should have known going in that the novel would be less than cheery. Hello. She wrote Ethan Frome.  

From Goodreads:

First published in 1905, The House of Mirth shocked the New York society it so deftly chronicles, portraying the moral, social and economic restraints on a woman who dared to claim the privileges of marriage without assuming the responsibilities. Lily Bart, beautiful, witty and sophisticated, is accepted by 'old money' and courted by the growing tribe of nouveaux riches. But as she nears thirty, her foothold becomes precarious; a poor girl with expensive tastes, she needs a husband to preserve her social standing, and to maintain her in the luxury she has come to expect. Whilst many have sought her, something - fastidiousness or integrity- prevents her from making a 'suitable' match.

This intriguing novel is set in New York City at the turn of the century. Edith Wharton's writing is gorgeous. Her character development is fantastic. I really rooted for the tragic, beautiful, privileged, shallow, and yet still captivating Lily Bart...a socialite who has fallen on hard times. Wharton does an amazing job of showing the duplicity of elite society with her always insightful and at times satirical social commentary. I often juxtaposed the character of Emma Bovary from Madame Bovary (whom I loathed) with the character of Lily Bart while reading this novel. Again...it made me appreciate the masterful writing of Edith Wharton who keeps Lily as someone to root for rather than detest. This is a book that is not soon to be forgotten.

My Rating: Excellent.

9.) Think Again by Adam Grant


This was our book club's pick for August 2021. It sounded interesting (especially during the times in which we are living) and it was. It was a great book club pick because there was a lot to discuss. Our book club liked it.

From Goodreads:

Think Again is a book about the benefit of doubt, and about how we can get better at embracing the unknown and the joy of being wrong. Evidence has shown that creative geniuses are not attached to one identity, but constantly willing to rethink their stances and that leaders who admit they don't know something and seek critical feedback lead more productive and innovative teams. New evidence shows us that as a mindset and a skilllset, rethinking can be taught and Grant explains how to develop the necessary qualities to do it. Section 1 explores why we struggle to think again and how we can learn to do it as individuals, arguing that 'grit' alone can actually be counterproductive. Section 2 discusses how we can help others think again through learning about 'argument literacy'. And the final section 3 looks at how schools, businesses and governments fall short in building cultures that encourage rethinking. In the end, learning to rethink may be the secret skill to give you the edge in a world changing faster than ever.

Grant discusses the Dunning-Kruger Effect. According to this study those who think they know the most about a subject are usually the ones  who are the least knowledgeable and tend to overestimate their own knowledge and abilities while those that actually are the most knowledgeable are usually full of the most doubt about their knowledge of a particular subject or topic. Apparently common signs of a lack of knowledge are overconfidence and common signs of those with the most knowledge are usually doubt and humility. 

Grant talks about three different mindsets:

1.) Preachers- They try to convert others to their way of thinking.

2.) Prosecutors- They try to discredit the beliefs of others and poke holes in their arguments.

3.) Politicians- Try to win approval from their audience. Tell them what they want to hear.

Part of the problem, according to Grant, is that we don't seek to update our beliefs. He believes that we need to detach our identity from any specific set of beliefs and develop mental flexibility. As he calls it... have the mind of a scientist i.e. periodically question and test our own beliefs.

He believes that the scientist mindset is always in search of truth. They challenge their own beliefs and continually update them. Flexible minded people are better able to learn and unlearn beliefs that no longer serve them.

I thought that his concept of complexifying an issue was an interesting idea when dealing with polarizing opinions. You introduce complexity and nuance. Instead of black and white you introduce grayness. I am curious to try this out in my own life.

All in all, I thought that this was an interesting and very readable book that is especially relevant for the highly polarizing times in which we live. I also agree that it is good to periodically reevaluate and rethink our beliefs. This book was and continues to be food for thought.

My Rating: Good.


10.) Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir



I loved the book The Martian by Andy Weir so I was super excited to read his newest novel plus this has gotten tons of glowing reviews.

From Goodreads:

Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission--and if he fails, humanity and the earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company. His crewmates dead, his memories fuzzily returning, he realizes that an impossible task now confronts him. Alone on this tiny ship that's been cobbled together by every government and space agency on the planet and hurled into the depths of space, it's up to him to conquer an extinction-level threat to our species. And thanks to an unexpected ally, he just might have a chance.


I feel like I can't say that much about the book without giving something away. It was not what I expected. At all. In both positive and negative ways. I loved the humor and even the unexpectedness of the plot. I think Weir always does a great job with both of those aspects. But overall the book was too science-y. The Martian was that way too but in Project Hail Mary the plot felt even more bogged down in the science minutia. Why spend SO MUCH TIME trying to explain in great detail the plausibility of the science in a book that requires you to throw plausibility out the window and requires a healthy dose of suspended disbelief? 

But despite all of that I found this to be an imaginative, entertaining, and quirky novel. I liked the way the story unfolded as Ryland Grace's memory begins to come back. Bits and pieces of the puzzle of his life...past and present....come together in a way that was both propulsive and at times heartwarming. I even liked the ending.

My Rating: Imaginative but got bogged down a little too much in the science. 

11.) What Happened to You by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey


I wasn't sure what to expect from this book. A book about trauma. Would it be another The Body Keeps the Score? Yes, kind of, but a little bit more readable especially from an emotional and practical standpoint. The back and forth conversational style between Oprah and Dr. Perry made the subject matter easier to read and process. In fact they encourage you to read it in small segments so as not to overwhelm you. This is a book that I plan to purchase. I listened to it on audiobook, which was great, but I need my own copy to annotate. I will be referencing it a lot.

From Goodreads:

This book is going to change the way you see your life. Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” Our earliest experiences shape our lives far down the road, and What Happened to You provides powerful scientific and emotional insights into the behavioral patterns so many of us struggle to understand.

The book asks the question, "What happened to you?" versus "What is wrong with you?" which gives us a different perspective on trauma and shame. Yes, the book talks about some of the usual topics related to trauma. For example flight or flight and disassociation but did so in ways that felt fresh and offered new insights. I also always knew that the first year of a child's life was important in many different ways but this book shed a whole new light on that too. I found the discussion about self-regulation extremely interesting as well as how we can retrain our brains to form new associations. I loved the discussions about connection: both in families and in community. I thought their discussion of resilience was extremely interesting too.

"When you experience trauma in the first years of life, meaning from birth through age two—before you’ve developed the ability to explain the event—it can have a deeper impact on your brain than when you actually do have the words to explain it. If, in the first two months of life, a child experienced high adversity with minimal relational buffering but was then put into a healthier environment for the next twelve years, their outcomes were worse than the outcomes of children who had low adversity and healthy relational connection in the first two months but then spent the next twelve years with high adversity.

“Rhythm is regulating.”

“It’s especially regulating if you can walk in nature. The sensory elements of the natural world bathe us with their own regulating rhythms.”

"I believe every environment has a tone. If you were to walk into any home as a stranger, not speaking the language, you could absolutely feel whether this is a place where people are loved. Just as you can sense when something’s off. You may not know what it is, but something feels off.”

"Marginalization is a fundamental trauma. This is why I believe that a truly trauma-informed system is an anti-racist system. The destructive effects of racial marginalizing are pervasive and severe.”

 "When you've lived through adversity, you can come to a point in your life where you can look back, reflect, learn and grow from the experience. I believe it's hard to understand humankind unless you know a little bit about adversity. Adversity, challenges, disappointment, loss, trauma - all can contribute to the capacity to be broadly empathic, to become wise."

I could go on and on with the quotes. This should be recommended reading. It offers compassion and understanding to those who have experienced trauma and to those who love them. This was a personally meaningful and thought-provoking book. 

My Rating: Excellent. A must-read.

12.) The Good Sister by Sally Hepworth


I really liked Sally Hepworth's book The Mother-in-Law so I was excited to read her new novel. I enjoy her books. They are always propulsive fun reads.

From Goodreads:

Fern Castle works in her local library. She has dinner with her twin sister Rose three nights a week. And she avoids crowds, bright lights and loud noises as much as possible. Fern has a carefully structured life and disrupting her routine can be...dangerous. When Rose discovers that she cannot get pregnant, Fern sees her chance to pay her sister back for everything Rose has done for her. Fern can have a baby for Rose. She just needs to find a father. Simple. Fern's mission will shake the foundations of the life she has carefully built for herself and stir up dark secrets from the past, in this quirky, rich and shocking story of what families keep hidden. 

This was a domestic suspense drama. The story centers around Fern and Rose, fraternal twins. Each of the twins alternates telling the story from their perspective. I particularly loved the character of Fern who is on the autism spectrum and found her to be an incredibly interesting character. She was awesome! 

This was a quick and entertaining book. While it wasn't as good nor as thought-provoking as The Mother-in-Law it was still a fun read with interesting turns. I enjoy Sally Hepworth's writing style and look forward to reading more of her work.

My Rating: Good

Thursday, September 09, 2021

Favorite Memes: #20

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Tuesday, September 07, 2021

Email from Elder Johnson #27

 8-16-21

We do be vibin tho🤙🏽

Aaaaaaaaloha my peoples! 


Sorry I've been a lil missing in action but these days are just flying by!

These last few weeks have been a blast. A lot of crazy experiences and the absolute blessing of being able to talk about Jesus Christ and share with others why I'm a missionary and what that means! 

One of my favorite things about being a missionary is the opportunity we have to serve people alll the time. It's such an amazing way to show people the pure love of Christ! While we were serving a member in our ward and helping him move some things from a storage unit into a UHAUL we met Teresa! She saw us loading and she made a comment asking if we were a moving crew for hire. We said no and explained who we were and what we do as missionaries. She then asked if she could hire us to help her move and we said we would love to help but it's 100% free. She just started crying and talking about how she had been praying to find some help and here we were just out of the blue sent to her. It was such an amazing experience! God truly is in the details of our lives!

Some other really cool things happened these last few weeks but I'll keep 'em brief! 

-Trained the New Missionaries on Social Media 

-Traveled around MN and filmed a sweeet video

-Met Graham

-Met Greg

-Met Abdi 

-Did the hypest service project for a Non-profit called Sleep in Heavenly Peace

-Had some fire smoked meat

-Saw some homies

I hope everything is going well with all of you and if there's ever anything I can do for you please don't hesitate to reach out! I love and miss you all! Have an amazing week!











Love yall❤

-Elder Johnson