springdellgirl

I am taking a break from preparing for the Farm Chicks Antiques Show which may cause me to have a nervous breakdown before June 1st...so much to do!! Either that or Tyler and the kids will kill me before then. It's pretty much 50-50. The tensions are running high!! In light of that I thought I would document some of the unbelievably weird things people have said to me lately.

So I am borrowing Bryn's favorite phrase for the subject matter of this post...

Here are several randomly awkward things people have said to me in the last week. What's up with the universe that people are so weird? They are all people from church so that should solve the puzzle. You know that famous saying that if you say that there are no weird people in your ward that it's because you ARE the weird one. Yeah...well... I never say that.

Case in point #1:

I run into a dude from church and had this unsettling convo...

Dude: Hey-- Sister Johnson!


Me: Hey...how's it going? (I feel weird being called Sister Johnson in the general public and even at church by people who are in my same age bracket and not in the bishopric.)

Dude: Wow. I hardly recognize you!! You look so different when you aren't in your... (I am waiting for him to say "church clothes")...GYM CLOTHES.

Me: (stunned silence)

Dude: I mean I ALWAYS see you in your gym clothes!! Every time I am at the gym... there you are in your gym clothes.

Me: (awkward silence)

Dude: I mean do you live there or something? Ha ha!! I work out and there you are in your gym clothes and when I leave you are still there working out in your gym clothes.

Me: (awkward laugh...uh...yeah.)

Dude: Well see you around...probably at the gym. Ha ha!!

EW!! Right? Let it just be known that I see quite a few people from my ward/stake at the gym and it was none of the people I usually see. This was one guy I saw once...once!! I have never even said so much as hello to him in all the time he has gone to my church. AWKWARD!! (Disclaimer...this is none of my friends or even acquaintances husbands. Rest easy.)

Case in Point #2:


 Church member corners me... 

Church member: Hi

Me: Hi

Church member: Where did you and Tyler get married?

Me: (surprised) Um...Utah

Church member: Where in Utah?

Me: Salt Lake

Church member: Yeah...but WHERE?

Me: (quizzical look) Uh...the Salt Lake Temple.

Church member: Whew! Oh great! (visibly relieved)
 
(Clearly Tyler and I must appear rather fringy to this very concerned person. Also, let it be known this was no one in any kind of leadership position. Just a random ward member who has clearly been up at night worrying about whether or not Tyler and I were married in the temple. Glad I could put their troubled mind to rest.) AWKWARD!!

Case in Point #3:

This occurred after Sacrament Meeting last Sunday. We were not sitting in our usual row and ergo were sitting by different people...in this case an old couple and a visiting old couple.

Lady: Points to Bryn... "She is GORGEOUS!! Just beautiful."

Me: Thanks!

Lady: If you ever want me to take her off your hands just let me know!!

Me: (Laughs) I will!!

Lady: She is just BEAUTIFUL!! She looks NOTHING like the rest of you!!

Me: Um...thanks??

Lady: (talks to her friend) Isn't that little girl absolutely beautiful?

Friend: She sure is!!

Lady: She looks NOTHING like the rest of them!!


AWKWARD!! What do you say to that? Sorry Bryn has to live in such a family of trolls and her with her beauty and all. This lady is known for saying blunt/funny things. So I do laugh about this but props to my friends in Relief Society who upon hearing this tale reassured me that I DO have cute kids and that Tyler and I are not hideous. Thanks guys.

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Okay...those were JUST from last week. Here are a couple more from the last few months.

 #1

I am chatting with a guy I know at a store. He is LDS...but not in our stake. Reilly comes up.

Me: Oh hey...this is my daughter Reilly.

Reilly: Hi. Nice to meet you.

Guy: THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER???

Me: Yep.

Guy: How old is she?

Me: 16

Guy: HOW OLD ARE YOU??

Me: 40

Guy: WOW! YOU'RE OLD!!


Me: Yep.

(This guy is a friend and has since tried to make it up to me...but...I still like to hold it over his head and bring it up whenever I can. BOOM. :)

#2

Whilst chatting with a random ward member...

Person: How old were you when you had Reilly?

Me: 24

Person: How old were you when you got married?

Me: 22

Person: To Tyler?

Me: (incredulous) YES TO TYLER!!

Person: OH GOOD!! (Looks relieved)

(Just because she looks more like me than the other kids let me reassure you all that TYLER is INDEED her biological father!! People have asked me that on a few occasions...CRAZY.)


So now that you know that I am disturbingly always seen in my gym clothes, was married in the temple, am not beautiful...nor is the rest of my family, am old, and have only had one husband...

GO OUT AND HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!! 

Weirdos.