Day 181: 9-10-20 (Thursday)
Judie and Joel arrived at the lake today. They brought their large trailer up with them and parked it at the lake. It was good to see them. They are doing a big PNW trip and visiting several of their kids who live up here. We were the first stop. Then they will head over to the west side of the state to see three of Joel's kids and their families and then they will go on to Oregon to see Joel's daughter and her husband before they head back to Utah.
The weather was beautiful so we enjoyed the water and the dock. We took them for a boat ride and did a lake tour. It was fun to show them the lower lake, channel, and the lily pads area. It is still too shallow to go to the upper lake. Joel was having the time of his life riding in the boat!
That evening Tyler and I had to go to Coeur d' Alene to the store for vendor night. I was just going to go by myself but I sold several big pieces so Tyler had to bring the trailer with large furniture pieces to restock the booth. I had dinner all prepped and ready before we left. Ailey and Bryn got to be the hostesses. The grandparents loved it! I think all grandparents enjoy time with their grandkids without the parents around. LOL. They had a fun night together.
Day 182: 9-11-20 (Friday)
Today was another beautiful day. We couldn't have had nicer weather. Tyler and the girls made a big breakfast. Pancakes, buttermilk syrup, eggs, and sausage. Grandpa Joel had breakfast with us. Grandma Judie is slowing down a bit and it takes her more time to get up and going in the morning. She also has to eat gluten free so she was happy that she could prepare her own little gluten free meals in her trailer.
Today was another beautiful day. We couldn't have had nicer weather. Tyler and the girls made a big breakfast. Pancakes, buttermilk syrup, eggs, and sausage. Grandpa Joel had breakfast with us. Grandma Judie is slowing down a bit and it takes her more time to get up and going in the morning. She also has to eat gluten free so she was happy that she could prepare her own little gluten free meals in her trailer.
We had a fun day with the grandparents. Joel made a great new game for our family. It is an old pub game called Ring a Bull. It is also called Tiki Toss. You try to get a ring on a hook. Joel made us a big one that has a fish on it that you try to hook. It was addicting. We did a lot of boating. The girls were showing the grandparents all of their swimming and water sport skills. Joel and Tyler dragged the girls around the lake on the tube most of the afternoon. Tyler let Joel drive the boat and he was in absolute HEAVEN! He was so cute! We spent all day on the water.
We did have a scary moment later that afternoon. Joel and Judie were coming down the stairs that lead to the dock and Joel was helping Judie who had just gotten up from a nap. He was helping her down the stairs and lost his footing and fell hard. Thank goodness he was okay. But it was super scary to see him fall.
We found out today that my cousin Wendy's husband's business burned. Their house is still in the path of the fire and it isn't looking good. They have been staying with friends and they decided to come to Spokane to stay with my cousin Justin and his family (Wendy's brother). I offered to have them come and stay at the lake with us. There is plenty of room especially with Judie and Joel sleeping in their trailer. We continue to pray and pray hard for their town and family.
Tonight Reilly and Hunter came out after work to visit with the grandparents and to have dinner. We had a such great night as a family! It was nice for Judie and Joel to get to know Hunter better. It really ended up being a fun night!
Day 183: 9-12-20 (Saturday)
By this morning the smoke from all of the Oregon and WA fires had moved in. It is super smoky! We had breakfast with Grandpa Joel again. That was really fun! He was so talkative and telling us interesting stories about his life. He was an electrician in a coal mine in Utah. Wow. We are loving our special breakfasts with him every morning.
Bryn and Tyler playing Grandpa Joel's game.
We had kind of a family *meeting* with Judie and Joel today. They wanted to talk about family history, the gospel, and share their testimonies with us, and to give some advice to the girls. We had some good conversations today. Judie and Joel left around lunchtime to head to the Seattle to see Forrest and Hanna.
Wendy, Ben and their kids and Justin and Hannah and their kids came out for the day after Judie and Joel left. Before they got here we received some exciting news! We got an email from Kam's Mission President saying that Kam was scheduled to go through the St. Paul, MN Temple on Sept. 25th! Woohoo! We immediately bought our plane tickets. Then I got a call from our Stake representative asking if he could have a conference call with me and Tyler. Uh...okay. I got called to the Stake Primary Presidency as the 1st Counselor. I am excited about the new calling but sad to leave our ward's Primary. I didn't think that I would love my calling as Primary President as much as I have. It has been the best calling! I am really going to miss it! But I am glad that I get to stay involved in Primary on the Stake level.
We had such a great day with my cousins and their families! It felt like old times to have them here. So much has changed and so much of it has been hard and sad and painful. It felt good to see their faces and watch their kids play and swim with my kids. Like it should have always been. There was much to catch up on... some good (all the latest with their families), the bad (all that is happening with my sibling situation and my mom's estate), and the scary (still getting updates on Wendy and Ben's house and the fire situation.) I felt like I was quite the downer as I brought them up to speed on our situation. They were very calm listening ears which was appreciated more than they will ever know. But...ugh... I hate being negative and being involved in so much sibling discord. It's draining to me and to those who have to hear about it. I really wish things were different.
Photo Cred: Hannah
But the day spent with them was a lot of fun! Our girls had a blast with their cousins. Having them all out here was also a great distraction from thinking about the fact that tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my mom's death. I am so grateful that they were all out here and that it wasn't just a day of dreading tomorrow. Plus, they get it. They lost their father/grandpa to cancer and so it was nice to be around people who understand. Man, I wish my Uncle Mike were still here. He would be the perfect sounding board and voice of reason in helping me and my brother navigate dealing with my sisters and my mom's estate. It just isn't fair that BOTH he and my mom are gone. I am so glad that today ended up being such a good one and I am so glad that they were all able to come and hang out. And...it was really nice breaking up our COVID bubble a bit and being around people again!!
Kirk and Meki sent me some beautiful flowers today. They are the most thoughtful people!! I wish that we could all be together tomorrow.
Day 184: 9-13-20 (Sunday)
I woke up this morning to an early morning text from my brother about mom and then a phone call with both he and Meki. One year. How has it already been one year since my mom passed away? It seems like yesterday and like a 100 years ago. Today the smoke was even worse. You could barely see the lake. It looked like an extra thick fog had settled in. It was horrifyingly beautiful.
I woke up this morning to an early morning text from my brother about mom and then a phone call with both he and Meki. One year. How has it already been one year since my mom passed away? It seems like yesterday and like a 100 years ago. Today the smoke was even worse. You could barely see the lake. It looked like an extra thick fog had settled in. It was horrifyingly beautiful.
This is what I posted on FB/Instagram:
You are still so alive and vibrant in our hearts. You aren’t gone. You don’t feel gone. You feel elsewhere. That has been a comfort this past year. I am so grateful for your example of how to get through hard times. I’ve needed it this year. I am so grateful for your ability to find the joy and humor in life despite the circumstances. I’ve needed it this year. But man I miss you! I miss your hugs, your voice, and phone calls from you saying: “Can you talk? You aren’t going to believe this!” And “Hey, what are you doing? Do you want to go bum around?” And “I have an idea and want to see if you’re up for it!” I miss that so much! I miss our adventures and traveling together (so many trips!), and your irritation with selfies!
Me laughing until I'm crying because you could never find where to look or smile naturally and you saying through a grimacing smile... “Just take the damn picture Kristin!” I am so glad I took the “damn pictures” and the trips and went on the adventures and bummed around with you. You are the best Mom! One year without you has only amplified that. I love you!! Forever.
We honored Mom's memory by taking the boat out to her cove:
Not a bad final resting place.
Ailey picked out this beautiful bouquet of white roses that we floated for her.
Kirk requested a glass of Pimms, a favorite of hers, be tipped into the lake. I was happy to oblige. It was smoky but beautiful. Still and quiet. We were one of the only boats out on the lake and it felt sacred and peaceful.
I took one last smoky dip in the lake. I probably shouldn't have but it will most likely the last swim of the summer unless we get a super warm Indian summer in October. I didn't want to miss the chance for a swim. I was the only one who jumped in and it was so calm and soothing. The lake water was a balm to my soul. I am glad I braved the smoke and jumped in.
Tyler and I continued cleaning out more of the old garages. There is so much junk. There is still so much stuff to go. It's never ending. We also did yard work and deep cleaned the house and cabin. We got a text from our realtor saying that we had an offer on the Sandpoint house. I wasn't thrilled with the offer but I am the only one out of five who seemed to have a problem with it. I went along with the majority. I just can't wait to be rid of that place.
Throughout the day I received so many calls and texts from family and friends who remembered what day it was and who wanted to share their love for me and for my mom. That was so nice! It definitely helped. Tyler ran home to drop off the trailer and came back out with a couple of cards that people had sent me. All of those little things that people take the time to say and do mean so much. I even got a surprise video chat phone call from Kam. He wanted to check in on me and see how I was doing today. That meant the world to me. I am sure it was also hard for him to be away from all of us on this day. I love that kid!
Later that night we drove home and had to crazy prep for the next day...THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! Life is speeding up once again. All in all, the day that I had been dreading turned out to be okay. My Mom's good friend Mary Jane sent these words to me, "There is no magic in a year..." meaning that it doesn't mean that it will be better and it doesn't mean that it will be worse. It is just a day. That is how it felt. We remembered. We honored. We missed. We cried. We moved on. My mom would have demanded that.
Day 185: 9-14-20 (Monday)
The first day of school dawned and despite being weird there was still excitement in the air. The girls were up and ready early. We took our usual first day of school pictures.
The first day of school dawned and despite being weird there was still excitement in the air. The girls were up and ready early. We took our usual first day of school pictures.
It is hard to believe that Ailey is a JUNIOR!
I hope that things go back to normal so that she can enjoy some of the fun things in high school.
My baby Brynnie is a SIXTH grader in her last year of elementary school!
Obligatory 2020 mask photo!
Traditional "sitting at desks" photos!
They can't tell me I can't take them this year! Ha!
And thus began distance learning round 2.
Today is still super smoky. The air quality has reached hazardous. People and pets can't be outside. Just going outside today for a few minutes to take pictures made my lungs burn. That has never happened before and we have had many smoky summers. Other family members are getting headaches or sore throats from being outside. We also have an oily film on our cars. It's awful. Plus...we are stuck inside. Outside is my joy in this COVID world!!
My friend Valynn came over today. She remembered the anniversary of my mom's death and brought me macarons, hugs, gossip, and a lot of laughs! I love her!! My friends have been so amazing this last year after losing my mom. They have rallied around me in ways that I will never forget. I am so grateful!!
Tyler and I planned our travel itinerary for Minnesota. We are going to leave on a Wednesday morning and come back on a Tuesday afternoon. We will be gone for almost a week. We are also going to drive 5 hours to Wisconsin to see my good friend Rebecca and her husband Jeff. I would be lying if I didn't say that I have total anxiety about traveling and being around people and I would totally be lying if I didn't say that I cannot wait to get out of Spokane!! Travel... even anxiety producing travel... is thrilling!!
After the school day was over we went to BluBerry for frozen yogurt to celebrate and had pizza for dinner (the girls choice) and listened to how their "first day" went. We also had our weekly video chat with Kam. I love these so much! My heart goes out to those mothers who only got to talk to their kids twice a year! Those are some hardcore mamas!! I can't believe that we will be seeing Kam in less than two weeks!!
After the school day was over we went to BluBerry for frozen yogurt to celebrate and had pizza for dinner (the girls choice) and listened to how their "first day" went. We also had our weekly video chat with Kam. I love these so much! My heart goes out to those mothers who only got to talk to their kids twice a year! Those are some hardcore mamas!! I can't believe that we will be seeing Kam in less than two weeks!!
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