Nana
52 Week Challenge: Question 10 (Part 2)
Share your memories of your paternal grandparents? Where did they live? How much were they involved in your life?
This has been sitting in my drafts for forever... Time to finish and post.
My Nana passed away on Easter morning. She had been ill and suffering from dementia. I hated that this vibrant and hilarious southern lady had become a shadow of her former self and had been suffering in the throes of dementia. It robbed her of her memories of family members and her trusting spirit. It was heartbreaking. The last time that I saw her, she was still her joyful and exuberant self. It was at my sister Jordin's wedding. We had a great time together. All of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren were there. We laughed a lot and enjoyed one another. Nana even got out on the dance floor for a few minutes. It was great!! A treasured memory. Not too long after that she really began to spiral down into the dark recesses of dementia.
Nana came into my life when I was seven years old and never left. She is technically my step-grandma (Nana is the mother of my ex-step-father Larry) but she has never felt like a step-grandma to me nor was I anything less than a true granddaughter to her. She was a gift and she made me feel special and loved.
Nana was living in Denver when she passed away. She had a small viewing and then a graveside service. I wrote an essay of memories to be read at her service which my sister Jordin read. Kirk and Jordin are her biological grandkids and she also has two other biologicial grandchildren; Donny and Colin. They spoke on behalf of their side of the family. They are my Aunt (step-aunt) Marylee's sons. They grew up living in Denver and being near Nana and then she eventually moved in with their family.
Kirk, Nana, Kristin, Colin, and Jordin at Jordin's wedding in Kansas City.
Memories of Nana
Nana was one of a kind. She was an absolute original. The way she walked and talked and navigated her life. She was a southern girl with charm and sass and a flare for the dramatic. She laughed a lot. She cried a lot. She smiled a lot. She wore her heart on her sleeve and I don't think that she ever met a stranger. She had a big beautiful smile that would light up her entire face. She loved BIG...HUGE...and unconditionally. Her loyalty was absolutely unwavering. Whomever she loved she loved with her entire being. Everyone should have a Nana in their lives and we are so blessed and grateful that we did.
Nana and Grandma (Nana's mother) first came into our lives when I was seven, Stacey was five, and Kelley was three. I remember the first time that we met them. They were coming for a visit from Denver and we were so worried that they wouldn't like us. I remember watching them get out of the car and coming over to where we were playing in the yard. Nana immediately introduced herself and said,"You girls are just so beautiful!! Can I give you a hug?" I knew right then and there that things were going to be just fine. At that time we called Nana...Kathy. She asked us what we were playing and we told her that we were playing horses and she just jumped right in and was neighing and snorting and pawing the ground. We thought that she was amazing. We loved both she and Great-Grandma right from the start. I remember the day that she asked us if we would like to call her "Nana". She said, "I know that you have other grandmas and that they are wonderful women and I wouldn't want to take anything away from them but you girls can call me Nana if you want to." Of course we wanted to! She has been our Nana ever since.
Nana had such a wonderful way of making you feel special...beyond special. She made you feel like you were the smartest, most beautiful, most talented, most entertaining person in the world. Not only did she make us feel like that but she told us repeatedly...every time she saw us...that we WERE all of those things and more!! She would ooohhh and aaahhh over every little thing that we would say or do. She loved to say how "precious" we were. Nana made us feel like a million bucks. She spent her whole life praising us, uplifting us, telling us that we were special and important and that we had worth and value. We never doubted that Nana loved us. Ever!! Because she told us how much she loved us over and over again. She would cry and tell us how precious we were and how loved we were and how happy she was that we were in her life. You don't know how much that meant to us...especially during times when we felt ugly, unlovable, and worthless. To know that Nana loved us, believed in us, and was in our corner meant the world to us.
We have so many amazing memories of her. Her laugh, her southern accent, dancing and singing while she played the piano, her dramatic gasps when excited or touched by something, her squealing in terror as we would drive up the canyon, her tears of joy when we would come for a visit. We used to love to go and visit she and grandma. We were so intrigued by her glamorous high rise living in Denver. We loved buzzing her when we were down in the lobby and knowing that she was watching us on TV on the security channel for her building. We thought it was so cool when she would buzz us in and we would ride the elevator up to her floor. We thought that she lived in the most fabulous high rise apartment complex with a swanky swimming pool, bowling alley, and a car and driver if needed. Whenever we would come to visit we would always have a southern style baked ham (with pineapples and cherries), potato salad, and a homemade yellow cake with chocolate frosting. It was always so fun to be with Nana and Grandma and to be fussed over. We always felt so fancy staying with her.
When we turned thirteen Nana would fly us out to visit her all by ourselves. I remember being greeted at the airport with gifts and flowers. I felt like a celebrity. Nana asked me, prior to coming, what I wanted to eat while I was there and had stocked the fridge with all of my favorite foods and beverages. I remember drinking fancy grape juice and eating homemade banana bread and Jimmy Dean sausage every morning for breakfast while I sat on the balcony looking out at the pool. While I was swimming in the afternoons Nana would bring me an icy cold Dr. Pepper and a piece of cake. It was heaven. Nana was a fabulous hostess and kept me entertained beyond my wildest dreams the entire week that I was there. We shopped, ate out, toured Denver, went to special restaurants with games and prizes, went to the movies, and to Elitches amusement park just to name a few. That was such a special time in my life. Stacey has very fond memories of her week spent with Nana and Grandma too. She remembers eating creamed peas and all kinds of other "exotic" delicacies. I remember going to work with her one day as she proudly introduced me as her granddaughter to her co-workers. I loved to hear her call me her granddaughter. She would also let me go night swimming every single night even though she was terrified of water and was always worried that I would drown.
One of our all-time favorite memories of Nana was when she introduced us to garage sales. We loved going garage-saling with Nana and she stopped for every single one that she saw. We definitely got our love of garage sales from her!! I still have a little ceramic poodle that I got at my first garage sale with her. She and Grandma were hilarious and the times that we spent with them were full of laughter and crazy antics. They were always up for anything. It was the best!!
We loved to have Nana and Grandma come and visit us. I remember how much they loved the lilacs that grew in our yard in Utah. One day we helped them cut a bunch of branches of them and wrapped them in damp paper towels and newspaper and they took them home on the plane with them. When she was visiting, Nana would always check to see how our piano lessons were going and how we were progressing. I remember her sitting at the piano many times with me while I practiced. One of my favorite pictures is of the two of us at the piano together. Nana loved to meet our friends and would always tell THEM how special, beautiful, and amazing we were and how lucky they were to have us as friends. My best friend has some great memories of Nana as well and was one of the first people to contact me when she heard that Nana had passed away.
When Kirk and Jordin were born we wondered what would happen to our relationships with Nana and Grandma. Would they still love us? Would we be second best? Nana had such a huge capacity for love that never once did we feel second best. That is one of the things that I appreciate and admire the most about her. We were as loved and cherished as we had always been. From day one Nana was our grandma and we were her grandchildren and it has stayed that way ever since. Donny was our cousin and we have loved him from the start and Marylee (our aunt) too. As Kirk and Jordin and Colin were born and the number of grandchildren grew, Nana's heart just grew bigger and bigger as it did when the great-grandchildren were born.
Some of Kirk and Jordin's favorite memories are of Nana and Grandma coming to visit us in Texas and going to the beach with them. They would come downstairs all ready for the beach in big floppy hats, sunglasses, and knickers. We all remember Nana chatting with anyone and everyone on the ferry. She was a people person for sure!! We have the best memories of Nana and Grandma sitting in lawn chairs on the beach, half in the water, in their big sun hats, knickers, and with their purses on their laps. We love remembering them squealing and trying to get up and run away before the waves got their knickers wet!! We also remember their love of Lysol and their hysterics when Kirk, as a toddler, ate a fly and they wanted him to "gargle with Lysol!!"
One of my very favorite memories was the first time that I introduced Nana and Grandma to Tyler. We had only been dating for a little over a month and had gone on a road trip with friends to Colorado for one of my best friends' wedding. Tyler and I spent two nights in Denver with Nana. When I introduced them, Nana did one of her famous gasps and when Tyler went to get our luggage she grabbed me and said, "OH Kristin!! You need to marry that man!! He is just beautiful!!" Great-Grandma was nodding along with her. Then she said these famous words..."Listen! When he gets back Mom's gonna hold him down and I'm gonna call the preacher!! Don't let him get away!!" and Grandma chimed right in with an "mm-hmm". Tyler and I have laughed about that for years!! Nana was right and she loved and accepted Tyler from day one and he loved her too. For more years than I can count Nana would call us every single week and would talk to all of us and listen to Reilly sing and play the piano. She has always been such a huge part of our lives even though we lived far away.
Another one of our favorite memories is the trip that me, Tyler, Reilly, Kirk and Jordin all took to Denver to visit Nana. She was living with Marylee, John, and Colin in the house with the indoor swimming pool. We all had the best time together and made some of the most hilarious memories. I can still see Reilly and Nana eating bowl after bowl of ice cream (Nana's favorite food) while we all sat around the table laughing together. She had the greatest sense of humor and never took herself too seriously.
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Despite living far way, our love for Nana never diminished. She was loved and adored and her legacy lives on in each of us. We are all the richer for having had her in our lives. We are so appreciative of Donny, Colin, Marylee, and John. Marylee would drive Nana out to visit us and to weddings and that has helped to keep our connection strong. Colin has always done such a great job of staying in touch and keeping us up-to-date with Nana and her health issues. We appreciate it more than we can say. It hasn't gone unnoticed nor unappreciated. You are unsung heroes especially as you have cared for her over the last several years as her health has declined. You did all that you could to keep the fun and adventure in her life as you would travel with her and take her out for nights on the town. She was so blessed to have you!!
Nana was one of a kind. There will never be another like her. She has enriched our lives more than we can express. We are so grateful for every moment and memory that we have shared with her. We will miss that mischievous smile, her teasing, her laughter, her hugs and kisses, her phone calls that always ended with her in tears and telling us, "Nana loves you!!" We love you too, Nana, and we always will.
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Nana lived a life that wasn't always an easy one. She grew up in Parkersburg,West Virginia and was a pampered and much doted upon only child who was beloved by her parents and extended family. She got pregnant out of wedlock and ran off and married the father. Her parents did not approve of him and the young couple briefly moved to another state. She had Larry (our ex-stepfather) and then divorced her husband. Later she married Marylee's father and had Marylee. She was a talented musician and gifted pianist. Her dream was for her children to be in show business and she was quite the successful stage mother for many years while they were kids and teenagers. They performed and appeared on TV and modeled and did quite a few things in the entertainment business.
She had a series of unsuccessful marriages that took a toll on her but didn't extinguish her love of life and people. Nor her belief in true love. She had suitors and love interests until her dementia became debilitating. Her mother moved in with her after her final divorce and they lived together until Great-Grandma passed away. Grandma helped Nana raise her children. Great-Grandma had had Nana very young and they were often more like best friends that mother and daughter. Nana's name was actually Irene Katherine but she preferred to go by Kathy. Her mom (and dad) only ever called her Irene.
Nana's relationships with her children...who always called her "mother" as they called great-grandma "mom"... often brought her heartache. She was very close to her daughter Marylee but was often estranged from her son Larry...his choice...particularly after my mom divorced him. But despite her relationship or lack thereof with Larry, she was always there for all of us and fully involved in our lives. Nana's legacy of loving with her whole heart and finding the joy and adventure in life despite life's obstacles and disappointments are a wonderful example to her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She will be missed.
