Know Yourself Better: Personality Tests
This winter I have been reading several blogs and listening to podcasts that discuss various aspects of personality. My background in psychology and my fascination with it has never diminished. I especially love the Gretchen Rubin and Liz Craft podcast called Happier. They always do a segment on their podcast called "Know Yourself Better" and I always find it very interesting and good food for thought. I also really like their "Try This At Home" segment and have really learned a lot and implemented many of their suggestions into my life. I am going to blog about several of the things that I have learned and that have had a positive impact on my life.
I. ) The Five Love Languages
Several years ago I read the book The Five Love Languages for a book club that I was in. One night for FHE I had everyone take the test and the results were so interesting. Ailey and Bryn were too little at the time...I need to have them take the test now...but it ended up being so helpful with Reilly, Kameron, and Tyler. In particular it really helped Tyler and I to better understand one another and taught us better ways to show love to one another. We implemented several things in our marriage based on that information that really helped us and that we are still doing today. It was also extremely helpful when Reilly was in high school. Knowing what her love language was helped us to show her lots of love in a way that she could receive it. That was HUGE!! I highly recommend the book and taking the test if you haven't already done so.
II.) The Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment
Lately there has been a lot of hype about the Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment even though it has been around for forever. It is based on theory proposed by Carl Jung. I remember my mom having me take it when I was in high school. She had come back from a work seminar and had taken the test herself and had several of us fill out the questionnaire. Was the information helpful to her as a mother? Who knows. I hope it was. I also remember taking the test again in college for one of my psych classes but I had long ago forgotten what exactly I was...I just remember getting a jumble of letters. Myers Briggs has had quite the resurgence lately. It is frequently mentioned in the podcast world so I decided to take it again.
The Myers Briggs questionnaire gives insight on how people perceive the world and make decisions. This assessment is designed to help you understand what makes you tick, how you relate to others, and how you can benefit from this knowledge in everyday life. It is designed to help you identify your preferred way of doing things in four key areas: directing and receiving energy, taking in information, making decisions, and approaching the outside world. Your natural preferences in these four areas sort out into one of 16 distinct patterns of behavior called personality types.
The first thing it assesses is if you are extroverted or introverted (E or I) and signifies the source and direction of a person's energy. The next is sensing vs. intuition (S or N) represents the method by which someone perceives information. The third is thinking vs. feeling (T or F) represents how a person processes information. The fourth is judging vs. perceiving (J or P) reflects how a person implements the information they have processed. A judging person organizes life events and sticks to their plans and a perceiving person is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.
I am an INFJ....also called The Advocate.
This is a fairly rare personality type. They are diplomatic and have an inborn sense of idealism and morality. They aren't idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact. They are decisive and strong-willed. They have strong opinions and are determined. They act with creativity, imagination, conviction, and sensitivity. They are good with language, communication, and self-expression.. They are insightful and passionate.
III.) Enneagram
Another test that is ages old... as in some components can be traced back to the 4th century...is a personality assessment that is getting a lot of buzz. It is the Enneagram which defines nine personality types:
Type One is principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.
Type Two is generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, and possessive.
Type Three is adaptable, excelling, driven, and image-conscious.
Type Four is expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental.
Type Five is perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated.
Type Six is engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious.
Type Seven is spontaneous, versatile, acquisitive, and scattered.
Type Eight is self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational.
Type Nine is receptive, reassuring, complacent, and resigned.
I thought that this test was pretty accurate and quite helpful. You can read more about it online. Tyler took it also and we thought that it was super accurate for him and for our relationship together. Interesting stuff.
IV.) The Four Tendencies
But one personality test has completely transformed things for me...and for our family. It has been amazingly helpful to us in understanding one another. It is the Four Tendencies Test by Gretchen Rubin which is all about habit and change. All four groups have positives and negatives.
The four tendencies are:
1.) Upholders: respond readily to inner and outer expectations.
-Upholders wake up and think "what's on the schedule and the to-do list for today?" They are very motivated, organized and like getting things done. They don't like making mistakes, getting blamed, or failing to follow through (even to themselves). They are very self-directed and believe in rules. They have high expectations for themselves and others. They are great doers and achievers. They are self-motivated. (This is a fairly small group of people.)
2.) Obligers: meet outer expectations but struggle to meet expectations that they impose on themselves.
-Obligers wake up and think "What must I do today?" They are motivated by accountability. They don't like being reprimanded or letting others down. They are fantastic at meeting expectations for friends, loved ones, bosses etc but aren't great at meeting expectations that they make for themselves. They are people pleasers. (Most people fall into this category)
3.) Questioners: question all expectations; they will meet an expectation IF they think it makes sense.
-Questioners wake up and think "What needs to get done today?" They are motivated by seeing a good reason for a particular course of action. They don't like spending time and effort on things that they don't agree with. They ask a A LOT of questions. They question authority, research, data and so on.
4.) Rebels: resist all expectations, outer and inner alike.
-Rebels wake up and think "What do I want to do today?" They are motivated by a sense of freedom and self-determination. They don't like being told what to do. They only do what they want to do. They decide how they see themselves and that is what motivates them to do things. They have great ambition and creativity. (This is the smallest group of people.)
Learning about these four tendencies has been life changing for our family. LIFE CHANGING!! I really wish that I would have had this information years ago. It would've really helped parent Reilly through those teen years!!
I am an Upholder.
Tyler is an Obliger.
Reilly is a Rebel.
Kameron is an Obliger.
Ailey is still a little young...she leans toward upholder. Bryn, is of course, too little.
I think it is fun and enlightening to learn about personality and all of its different aspects. It helps me to be a better parent and spouse. You can take all of these different tests online and read more about them in depth. There are a lot of great online resources and great books written on all of these assessments. Just something that I have really been thinking about and learning about since January. :)
