October was rough.
We had my Mom's viewing, Celebration of Life, and scattered her ashes. All of that is a post on its own. I am going to skip that for now and go on to other things in the month of October.
One of the best things this month was high school football. That meant that Ailey and her dance team performed at multiple half time shows. We went to all of the home games and enjoyed watching her dance.
Our football team actually did well this year and won several games. Progress!! LOL.
Another really fun event that occurred in the month of October was something that I look forward to all year. The Spokane is Reading Author Night. Every year the libraries and bookstores in Spokane pick a book for our community to read and then the author comes to town for a fun author event. The 2019 book selection was Circe by Madeline Miller.
Tyler participates with me every year which is so fun! I love that he is a reader and loves going to author events too. This is always one of our favorite date nights. We love to buddy read several books together every year so that we can always have fun things to discuss on date nights besides...you know...money, bills, kids, family, jobs...which aren't always pleasant topics. LOL.
Tyler and I both loved Circe and thought that Madeline Miller was fantastic!! I highly recommend the book and also seeing Madeline Miller in person if you ever have the opportunity. It was such a great night! I love this event SO MUCH!!
We aren't the only readers in the Johnson family! Beverly and Bryn enjoyed some night time reading as well. Is there anything better than being snuggled in your bed, in your jammies, and reading to your puppy. I doubt it.
Bryn had her last XC meet. Several meets were up north and we became official fans of the Retro Donut Shop. Sadly, I am not a donut fan. I got very sick on Krispy Kremes while pregnant with Ailey and the donut love has never returned. But my family are big fans! This particular place is famous for its ice cold chocolate milk that they keep in a special machine and at a specific icy cold temperature. It is just on the verge of freezing. I am THERE for the chocolate milk. That is all that I get and that is more than enough. It is FANTASTIC!
..We have gone many times this month. We even convinced Reilly to join us one Saturday morning! They also have these weird donuts that are stuffed with eggs, cheese, and country gravy. I think they are gruesome but my family loves them!
We decorated for Halloween. This was something that I was dreading. Too many memories of my mom. I forced myself to do it for my kids and I ended up being pleasantly surprised and happy that I did so. I posted this on Instagram and FB.
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| Me and My Mom |
In continuing with traditions...we carved pumpkins or should I say pumpkin. Only one was carved this year but both Ailey and Bryn worked on it together.
We shopped for Halloween Costumes:
Bryn as Beverly!
We found a costume for Miss Beverly! B-U-Z-Z-Z!
Ailey did a great job at her Fall Choir Concert! I need to get the video from Tyler who filmed her. She is now in Symphonic Choir and they sounded fantastic!
Kam had all of his mission paper work done and turned in and all of his interviews completed this month. We were so excited about him getting his mission call and then we got some unexpected and upsetting news. One of Kam's medical test results came back abnormal. His pediatrician and I had talked about him getting an EKG/ECG done before he left for his mission due to Tyler's family history. The high school was doing them and I wanted Ailey to get one too but the time slots filled up super fast and we didn't get a time. So when Ailey had her well check visit we scheduled EKG/ECG tests for both of them. Ailey's came back normal and Kameron's didn't.
This required a visit to a cardiologist. By some miracle we were able to squeeze Kam in the next week instead of waiting 2 plus months for an appointment. Kam was diagnosed with a rare heart condition called Wolf Parkinson White Syndrome. This was some very scary and disappointing news. Kam will need to have a heart ablation on December 9th. He will also need to be followed for three months by his cardiologist to make sure that the ablation worked. This postpones Kam's mission until at least spring. This was pretty frustrating for Kam who had already worked through several delays due to PT on his knees, 6 months of dealing with his tooth implant, losing his grandma, and now this. The kid is a trooper though. He has handled it with so much strength, determination, and grace. Me on the other hand...not so well. It's A LOT. I am going to have a brief pity party...the last 5 years have not been easy. Tyler's heart surgery, Tyler's brain hemorrhage, Mom dying, the constant worry and fear of Tyler's 40 years of Type 1 diabetes, figuring out how to parent grown children, difficult extended family relationships, and now this. It is A LOT. My anxiety is through the roof and I am trying to keep it somewhat manageable and not drown in fear and worry. Some days are better than others.
The good news is that we continue to be heaped with love and support from friends, loved ones, ward and stake members. So many people have been praying for Kam and for our family and constantly check in with us. Friends stop by and get me out and about doing things instead of being swamped with worry and fear on top of sadness and grief. I do see God's hand in my life. I feel those prayers and appreciate each and every one. But it is not an easy time. I am so appreciative of the wonderful people in our lives who go above and beyond to show us such tremendous love and support. Another hard month and another month of humbling...literally humbling me to my knees with gratitude for the kindness and love shown to us. For the cynics out there who say "thoughts and prayers" don't do anything... I disagree. I know that I would not be functioning and finding joy and pockets of peace without those "thoughts and prayers" sent our way. There is power in prayer of that I am certain.
I also had the Primary Program at the end of the month. I am still the Primary President in our ward. Thank goodness for my awesome friend Shannon who is not only one of my dearest friends but also one of my counselors. She single-handedly kept the entire primary afloat through September and October. Some REALLY hard things hit three of the four members of our presidency this month. Despite that the Primary Program went off amazingly well! We were also in charge of the Primary Reception and Open House afterward. That was also really successful! I burst into tears when I went into the church and saw so many amazing people working together setting up, decorating, and setting out the food...wow. I love my church. Bryn sang in a trio and then had the closing solo of the closing song I Know that My Redeemer Lives and she just nailed it. The spirit in that chapel full of kids, their families, and all of the people that they had invited to attend was through the roof. It was so powerful.
On top of all of that... the month was also very stressful dealing with my mom's estate. She had a will, a trust, an attorney, everything in place, and it has still been an absolute nightmare. Financially and with family. Relationships with some of my siblings are strained. I got to the point of once again having to set some serious boundaries. I know that hurt people hurt people but now isn't the time for petty squabbles. I have had to take a step back from some of them and just deal with the business side of things for a bit. I remind myself regularly that now is not forever.
Conversely, things with my extended family have improved significantly. That has brought so much joy into my life. Our aunts, uncles, and cousins rallied and provided us with so much love and support. They still are. It was the beauty in the ashes. Healing took place and I am beyond grateful for it.
Now October is over and November is here. The holidays are looming and I am not sure what to expect. Different but hopefully not depressing is my mantra. Onward.
