In Case You Missed It

Saturday was our 17th Anniversary. It was wonderful. Nothing elaborate...just me and Ty hanging out together doing things we like to do. It was perfect.

So...in case you missed my Facebook post here it is again. Because someday I really am going to print this blog off into a book and I have zero interest in ever printing off my posts from FB. (If any of you are Jim Gaffigan Fans you will get this...Facebook is the McDonalds of blogging.)


17 years ago today Kristin McClellan put on a white dress and went to marry Tyler Johnson. She THOUGHT she knew the attributes of a good husband. She ticked them off on her fingers...Hot, Smart, Funny and Nice. 17 Years later Kristin Johnson KNOWS the attributes of a good husband. Everyday she wakes up and thanks her Father in Heaven that she has one...the BEST ONE!! Happy Anniversary Ty!! You are still hot, smart, funny and nice and SO MUCH MORE!! I love you!!

(I have a lot of unpublished...or half written...or for whatever reason.. thus unposted drafts and have decided to clean up my blogger files. Here goes #1. It's from over a year ago.)

A Grisly Tale of Red Velvet Cake (not for the squeamish...you've been warned.)

This is Tyler's Birthday Cake...Red Velvet in all it's Southern Glory.

Tyler and I both have a special affinity for the South. We have both lived there and loved it. Tyler in North Carolina, while serving his mission, and me in Houston. Once you have lived in the South it gets in your blood makes itself comfy and you will forever be part of one another. Even though we live in the the beautiful Pacific Northwest we still long for the South. We like to talk about how one day we will live here June through January and then we will head South for the rest of the gloomy wet winter. Destination...yet to be decided.

One thing that can't be denied is that Southern Cooking is about as good as it gets. Both of us have always liked Red Velvet Cake (even before it was all the rage) but we have yet to have found THE recipe. And so began our quest...to find the most perfect and delicious Red Velvet cake recipe. In the process several cakes were made...and thus we commence with our grisly tale...not for the faint of heart. Suffice it to say that when our kids see Red Velvet Cake coming they run screaming!!

Why you ask? It started so innocently last January. It was a Sunday and that means dessert at our house. But we had nothing on hand and didn't want to go to the store...you know being that it was Sunday...so down to the food storage shelves we went. Low and behold there was a box of Duncan Hines Red Velvet Cake Mix (I hate cake mix but it was all we had) it was leftover from my Christmas Cake Balls that never were. We decided to whip it up but would make homemade cream cheese frosting to go on top (I HATE canned frosting even more than cake mix) The cake was awful except for the frosting but we ate it because we were hungry and wanted something sweet.

Flash forward to Monday afternoon. I'm in our bedroom and all the kids (except for Reilly who wasn't home) are doing their usual after-school routine. Suddenly I hear a blood curdling scream and Kameron starts yelling "Mom!! Get in here!!" I came running to find Kameron standing by the bathroom door and Ailey on the toilet howling.

Here was our conversation:

Me: "WHAT IS GOING ON?"

Kam: "Get in the bathroom!! QUICK!!"

Me: "Ailey!! What's the matter?"

Ailey: (Howling)

Kam: "Ailey is pooping blood!! TONS OF IT!!"

Me: "What?!"

Kam: "LOOK!!"

Well let me tell you that the sight that met my eyes nearly had me puking!! As I was running for the phone to call 911 because Ailey was clearly dying... a vision came to my mind of a bowl of Duncan Hines Red Velvet Cake Batter that was neon red. It was so shockingly red that Tyler called me into the kitchen on Sunday to observe the bizarrely red color. I recall us even saying "Good grief...that can't be healthy." That bright red dye had worked it's way through poor Ailey's system scaring us to death.

Flash forward several hours...everyone except for Tyler is home...and dinner is over. Reilly is missing. I start calling for her to do something...no answer. I ask everyone..."Where is Reilly?" I found out that she was in the bathroom. She was in there for a LONG LONG TIME. So I begin to do the usual motherly "Are you okay in there?" No response. "Hello. Are you okay in there?" No response. "REILLY!" No response. "REILLY!! OPEN THE DOOR!! NOW!!" No response. (Let it be known that Reilly is a fainter and I was sure she was lying unconscious on the floor.) Kameron was running for a butter knife (which is the way we open a locked bathroom door around here.) Just as I am jamming the butter knife into the lock out came Reilly ashen and shaking like a leaf.

Me: What the hell?? Are you okay?

Reilly: I don't think so.

Me: What?! Why?

Reilly: I think something is seriously wrong.

Me: (yelling now) WHY?

Reilly: I think I just crapped an organ. (For the record she normally doesn't speak so crudely...I'll chalk it up to shock.)

Me: WHAT? What the hell are you talking about? (Realization dawns...)

Me: Literally on the floor laughing...crying...howling with laughter.

Reilly: (ticked off) I MAY BE DYING AND YOU ARE LAUGHING!!

Kameron: (Laughing hysterically)

Ailey: (Laughing hysterically)

Finally we were able to clue her in. Only to have her yell. "I HATE YOU ALL AND I AM NEVER EATING RED VELVET CAKE AGAIN!!"

Not too many sweet treats at our house are able to sit out in the open, in the fridge, or in the freezer unmolested. But...Ben and Jerry's Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream...which is fabulous by the way...is never touched (That's the sound of Tyler and I cheering!!) and that is the reason if you ever offer our kids Red Velvet Cake they will run for their lives.

Over the Weekend

This is what I was doing. You can read about it here. Tyler was getting the yard all spruced up and helping me out being our Sisters Creed roadie. The kids were all helping out either with the show (Bryn my little sidekick)... or babysitting...or helping out at home. Tyler and I have some pretty great kids!! Kameron was also kicking butt at his track meet. Now I have a bit of a breather until our next show...which will be in July. What to do? What to do?

The Grandparents Came 

This past weekend Tyler's Mom, Judie, and his step-dad, Joel came for a visit.

Bryn loves her Grandpa Joel

Kameron ran in his first track meet of the season. How cute is my boy? Love that kid!!

Brynnie cheering on her big brother!! Go Kameron!!

Bryn Kaitrin is THREE!!


How we love our little cutie pie!! I can't believe she is three already. When I think back to all it took to get her here...miscarriages...horrible pregnancy...complications...I just want to kiss her all day long. She was worth it all!!

Bryn at three is ADORABLE. She is as sweet as she is cute. She loves her big sisters and adores her big brother. She is always so excited when they get home from school. Heaven help us if it is a holiday and they are off from school...she just squeals with joy!!

She is impossible to be mad at. If I am ever angry with her...which is rare, she will look up at me with those big blue eyes and say "You smiling?" and I will say "No! I am NOT smiling." Then she likes to say "Yes! You smiling!!" How can you stay angry with that? Impossible.

We celebrated her birthday a few days after her actual birthday due to this. But on her actual birthday one of her very favorite people came over to hang out with her. Elle. It is adorableness times two. Two blonde, blue-eyed, curly-haired cousins!! They make me laugh.

We had Bryn's favorite foods for dinner: cheese pizza, tator tots, Tang to drink, and chocolate ice cream. Not since Napoleon Dynamite has someone loved "tots" as much as Bryn.

Elle's birthday is 2 weeks before Bryn's so she is showing me how old she is. Bryn never calls her anything but "Elle-Bell". "Elle-Bell sit here". "Elle-Bell come play Barbies" "Elle-Bell, I love you!"

Bryn got to open presents and they had a wild night until about 9pm. That is some hard partying for 3 year-olds. :)

Check out that big grin!!

To celebrate Bryn's birthday she wanted to go to Build-A-Bear (which really is little girl heaven) and eat at Red Robin. Ailey has two stuffed animals from there that she is very stingy about sharing so Bryn was super excited to go and pick out her own stuffed animal. She told me she wanted "a kitty named Petunia".

Alas...the only kitty they had was a weird tie-dyed one with peace symbols all over it. So she chose a pink and brown teddy bear and named it Petunia instead. Here she is helping to put the fluff inside.

She was loving every minute of it!!

They really do such a good job there...it is truly a magical place for a 3 year-old.

Giving Petunia an air bath and brushing.

Ailey the "pro" showing her how it is done.

She picked out a lovely pink frock for Petunia, pink ballet shoes, a pink cell-phone, pink sequined purse and the Pièce de résistance...pink Hello Kitty panties. Every morning since then Bryn excitedly informs me that Petunia has "kept her panties dry!!" :)

Something about that place makes EVERYONE suddenly want a personalized teddy bear. Ailey was throwing a fit because hers are all old and lame...she needs a new one. Kameron was showing me that there were cool "skater" outfits for boy teddy bears complete with faux Vans. Reilly claimed she wanted one too. Tyler and I told her that when she went off to college we would send her two specialized bears from us...one with a little brown wig and another with little a red hair piece with the pre-recorded voice things inside it telling her to "Keep those grades up!!", "Clean up this room!!", "Don't make us come get you!!" and "Keep your pants on!!"

The Johnson Girls

Brynnie was THRILLED with her purchase!!

Then it was off to Red Robin. Our vegetarian kids LOVE it there because they can get huge Boca Burgers with all the fixins. Tyler and I are all about the fries. (Bryn took this picture...sorry about your head Ry)

Sibling Love...ha ha

Eating her Birthday Sundae

Then back home for Lemon Pie and more presents.

Happy Birthday Brynnie Kate!!

We love you!!

XOXOXOXOXO

For Tiffany

Once upon a time at BYU two lovely girls put on an impromptu show for a packed lobby of boys at Deseret Towers to thunderous applause. Tiffany has since reminded me that our friend Matt (the future President's son) was in that audience. If memory serves he was clapping, hooting with laughter and whistling louder than anyone... and they say the Romneys have no sense of humor. Oh nay nay.

Fast forward to last Monday night...my kids made the mistake of "claiming" that I had no hidden talents. I responded with "Oh REALLY..." They rudely demanded that I "prove it". I promptly
flipped upside down and let the chin pig sing and impressed the hell out of them.They were then clamoring for their own turn.

The following are the results...their first attempts...and they were filmed so they could see what they looked like. What resulted has caused great hilarity around here for days. As you can see they took to it like ducks...albeit odd ducks...to water.

(Disclaimer: The following videos may be slightly disturbing...kindly ignore Kameron telling Ailey that she needs "more tongue action"...and where he says "grab the whiskey!" I blame the Johnson side of the family!! ;)

Enjoy!!

Kameron:



Ailey:




Reilly:





All three:




Conversation afterward:

Reilly: How did you have the confidence to do something like that?

Me: What? You wouldn't do that?

Reilly: No!! (This shocked me as she is almost too confident and doesn't have a shy bone in her body...She has since put her performance on her phone and has amused her friends at school.)

Me: I don't know. I just did. Tiffany and I were always doing crazy things like that.

Tyler: Reilly...you have NO IDEA the kinds of things those two would do. This is NOTHING!!

Reilly: I want a Tiffany.

Happy 40th Birthday Tiffany!!

Easter 2012

Elle, Reilly, Ailey, Bryn, Kameron, River and Dane

Easter weekend we headed down to Stacey and John's house for an Easter get-together. We had a great time. Their cute town of Palouse has a City Easter Egg Hunt and the little kids had a ball. Our kids have never gone to a "real" city Easter egg hunt...only little Easter egg hunts at church or our own family egg hunts out at the lake...and boy did it show. As other kids were running madly and filling their baskets with as many Easter eggs as possible...Bryn, Ailey and Elle just sort of ran around putting a few eggs in their baskets here and there. It was pretty funny. I guess they didn't "get it" that you were supposed to try to load your basket with lots eggs as they were filled with candy and hoping to score ones with special symbols that you could trade in for MONEY!! River and Dane knew just what to do. Check out River's haul!! :) Bryn had maybe 5...Ailey about 8...once I saw Elle with just one in her basket!! I think she ended up with a few more though. Regardless they had a lot of fun and it was hilarious to watch them.

Elle and Bryn lining up with the three and four year olds...River in the back.

Bryn and Ailey

The weather was beautiful after a dreary Spring Break week of non-stop rain and snow. We were all ready to get outside and soak up the sunshine.

Tyler, Kelley and John

Then it was off to the playground on a SUGAR HIGH...

Ailey and River

We went back to Stacey and John's for an Easter Luncheon and a serious Stratego match.

Stacey, of course, cooked a fabulous meal. She made the most amazing Cornish Game Hens and Baked Rice Dish.


Growing up our mom used to make Cornish Game Hens for special occasions and dinner parties. I thought they were so fancy. I haven't had one in years. They were delicious. Thanks Stac.

After lunch John, Tyler and all kids all headed out to shoot BB guns and I got to sit and chit chat with my sisters. So nice. My kids have not stopped talking about how much fun they had. I can't believe John and Tyler got Ailey to shoot a BB gun. I would've loved a picture of that!! This morning while I was doing Ailey's hair I asked her what she was going to write about for her "Small Moment" at school today and she said "Shootin' BB Guns!!" Ha ha!! I never thought I would hear those words out of her mouth.

We had a wonderful Easter Sunday as well. I love it when Easter is nice and sunny...and it really feels like Spring is finally here. (fingers crossed)

Then it was off to Church in new Easter Dresses for the girls and a new tie for Kameron

So cute...and they even all kind of coordinated.

Church was wonderful. The highlight was Reilly singing with the ward choir "He is Risen". They did a fantastic job. Just beautiful.

Back home for our own Easter Lunch and fun with family. It was a beautiful weekend to reflect on the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Resurrection.

Happy Easter!!