Favorite Memes #24:

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My personal favorite!

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 The struggle is REAL! 

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100% !!

Winter Book Reviews: 2021

1.) Glitter and Glue by Kelly Corrigan

I am a Kelly Corrigan fan. I like her podcast, show on PBS, social media, and now her books. 

From Goodreads:

When Kelly Corrigan was in high school, her mother neatly summarized the family dynamic as “Your father’s the glitter but I’m the glue.” This meant nothing to Kelly, who left childhood sure that her mom—with her inviolable commandments and proud stoicism—would be nothing more than background chatter for the rest of Kelly’s life, which she was carefully orienting toward adventure. After college, armed with a backpack, her personal mission statement, and a wad of traveler’s checks, she took off for Australia to see things and do things and Become Interesting. But it didn’t turn out the way she pictured it. In a matter of months, her savings shot, she had a choice: get a job or go home. That’s how Kelly met John Tanner, a newly widowed father of two looking for a live-in nanny. They chatted for an hour, discussed timing and pay, and a week later, Kelly moved in. And there, in that house in a suburb north of Sydney, 10,000 miles from the house where she was raised, her mother’s voice was suddenly everywhere, nudging and advising, cautioning and directing, escorting her through a terrain as foreign as any she had ever trekked. Every day she spent with the Tanner kids was a day spent reconsidering her relationship with her mother, turning it over in her hands like a shell, straining to hear whatever messages might be trapped in its spiral.

In this memoir, Kelly Corrigan talks about her relationship with her mother juxtaposed with telling the reader about the time that she was a nanny in Australia for 5 months after college. This is a story about mothers and daughters and their often complicated dynamic and how it evolves over time. Growing up the author's relationship with her mother was difficult not like the easy uncomplicated relationship that she had with her father. Kelly often found herself in power struggles with her critical mother and as a result didn't feel as close to or as understood by her mother as she did by her dad whom Kelly adored. But when the author travels to Australia and becomes a nanny to two motherless children she finds herself channeling her mother (as most of us do) and comes to appreciate her mom for who she is and how she was raised.

Mother/Daughter relationships can be just as exasperating as they are rewarding. They are often messy and frustrating even when they are bursting full of love. There need to be more books that discuss the complex dynamic of the adult child/parent relationship and the disconnect that seems (and must) happen before that relationship can evolve into something new and wonderful albeit different. I've experienced this with my own mother and as the mother of an adult daughter. The bonds between mothers and daughters are powerful and yet we often find ourselves at odds as those relationships begin to evolve. Love grows as mothers and daughters come to understand and appreciate one another. This is what Glitter and Glue is all about and the author writes about it in a humorous and heartfelt way. 

I loved the Tanner family and enjoyed reading about them and the lessons that they taught the author about her own relationship with her mother. I enjoyed reading about Kelly and her mother although there were times when I wanted to shake both of them and tell them to be nicer to each other. I particularly loved the Q&A at the end of the book with Kelly and her mom. So funny. I am glad we got an update on the Tanner family too. 

There were some wonderful quotes that resonated with me:

“And it occurs to me that maybe the reason my mother was so exhausted all the time wasn’t because she was doing so much but because she was feeling so much.”

“But now I see there's no such thing as "a" woman, "one" woman. There are dozens inside every one of them. I probably should have figured this out sooner, but what child can see the women inside her mom, what with all the Motherness blocking out everything else?”

"The living mother-daughter relationship, you learn over and over again, is a constant choice between adaptation and acceptance.”

“I was meant to be her daughter, and I consider it a damn good thing that she, of all people, was the principal agent in my development.”

This was a very quick and thoughtful read.

My Rating: Good.

2.) The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall

This is a National Book Award winner with a very sweet premise. Four sisters and their widowed father spend their summer vacation in a cottage that they rent on a sprawling estate in the Berkshires and adventures ensue.

From Goodreads: 

The Penderwick sisters busily discover the summertime magic of Arundel estate’s sprawling gardens, treasure-filled attic, tame rabbits, and the cook who makes the best gingerbread in Massachusetts. Best of all is Jeffrey Tifton, son of Arundel’s owner, the perfect companion for their adventures. Icy-hearted Mrs. Tifton is less pleased with the Penderwicks than Jeffrey, and warns the new friends to stay out of trouble. Is that any fun? For sure the summer will be unforgettable.

I loved it. This is the first book in the Penderwick series. It is wonderful children's literature and is a great read-aloud. I found it refreshing. It's contemporary fiction but with a nostalgic and old-fashioned feel to it. It's stylistically timeless and a nice change of pace from all of the fantasy that seems to overload middle grade books right now.

This family is lovable and charming. They are kind to one another and look out for one another. I loved the way that sisterhood was depicted. The four sisters were so endearing: Rosalind, Skye, Jane, and Batty. I identified with Rosalind the eldest Penderwick but I really loved Jane the aspiring author! The character development was marvelous. 

This novel has the makings of a cozy contemporary classic. There were great themes of courage, loyalty, friendship, and forgiveness. I read this book after reading about another group of sisters in the All-of-A-Kind Family series. I think that series would make a good book pairing with this series.

My Rating: Wonderful.

3.) 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton

This was my book club's pick for November 2021. This book was TRIPPY. Even after reading it I am still asking myself: What did I just read? But I liked it!

From Goodreads:

Aiden Bishop knows the rules. Evelyn Hardcastle will die every day until he can identify her killer and break the cycle. But every time the day begins again, Aiden wakes up in the body of a different guest at Blackheath Manor. And some of his hosts are more helpful than others. With a locked room mystery that Agatha Christie would envy, Stuart Turton unfurls a breakneck novel of intrigue and suspense.

There was A LOT going on in this novel. You think that it is a murder mystery at an English Manor House. That would be an understatement. The plot is complex with a capital "C" and there are a staggering number of characters to keep track of and a million details. The whole book is mind bending and confusing but that is the fun of it. It is a literary puzzle with so many pieces that you are trying to fit together. There are layers upon layers of storytelling and characters with various intentions. You see the story play out from multiple perspectives while trying to solve the mystery of who killed Evelyn Hardcastle. The plot constantly twists, and twists, and then twists again. I was always confused and wondering what was going on?! 

How Stuart Turton's mind works is insane! The construct and premise are incredibly clever and confusing and you will need to discuss this book with someone ASAP. This is a great novel to buddy read with someone or to read with a book club. I can't believe this is a debut novel.

Besides being tremendously confusing, even after finishing and discussing it with my book club, it was also a tad too long. The middle section slows down a bit too much. I also think that a tiny bit more character development would help readers keep all of the characters straight. There were so many! Also I wanted more backstory to all of the characters and the before and the after but Turton said that this is all left up to the imagination of the reader. 

My Rating: Truly a unique reading experience!

4.) The Obesity Code by Jason Fung

From Goodreads: 

Everything you believe about how to lose weight is wrong. Weight gain and obesity are driven by hormones—in everyone—and only by understanding the effects of insulin and insulin resistance can we achieve lasting weight loss. In this highly readable and provocative book, Dr. Jason Fung sets out an original, robust theory of obesity that provides startling insights into proper nutrition. In addition to his five basic steps, a set of lifelong habits that will improve your health and control your insulin levels, Dr. Fung explains how to use intermittent fasting to break the cycle of insulin resistance and reach a healthy weight—for good.

This is an informative and science based book. I was fascinated to learn more about insulin and its relationship to weight gain. Dr. Fung debunks many of the dieting myths such as "eat less/move more." He does a great job of explaining how insulin works and how insulin resistance happens. I thought this book was incredibly eye-opening. Fung builds a strong case for the benefits of intermittent fasting.

My Rating: Good. A comprehensive and informative read.

5.) The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

If you are looking for a dark and atmospheric campus thriller/fantasy novel to read in the Fall; this book fits the bill. It is dark academia at its most disturbing. The novel takes place at Yale and its world of secret societies, power, privilege, and dark magic.

From Goodreads:

Galaxy “Alex” Stern is the most unlikely member of Yale’s freshman class. Raised in the Los Angeles hinterlands by a hippie mom, Alex dropped out of school early and into a world of shady drug-dealer boyfriends, dead-end jobs, and much worse. In fact, by age twenty, she is the sole survivor of a horrific, unsolved multiple homicide. Some might say she’s thrown her life away. But at her hospital bed, Alex is offered a second chance: to attend one of the world’s most prestigious universities on a full ride. What’s the catch, and why her? Still searching for answers, Alex arrives in New Haven tasked by her mysterious benefactors with monitoring the activities of Yale’s secret societies. Their eight windowless “tombs” are the well-known haunts of the rich and powerful, from high-ranking politicos to Wall Street’s biggest players. But their occult activities are more sinister and more extraordinary than any paranoid imagination might conceive. They tamper with forbidden magic. They raise the dead. And, sometimes, they prey on the living. 

This darkly intriguing novel about the eight ancient houses at Yale and their secret societies is compelling. There are ghosts, murder, mystery, and magic. The setting is fascinating and the world building is captivating. Each of the eight ancient houses specializes in a particular kind of dark magic that keeps their members rich and powerful. The protagonist, Alex, has been given an opportunity of a lifetime. A free ride at Yale and the opportunity to work for the House of Lethe...the ninth house...whose job it is to monitor the activities of the other eight houses as they work their dark magic. Alex is a flawed and gritty character who comes from a difficult background seeking redemption as she makes her way through the privileged circles of Yale and the members of the various secret societies. She can also see dead people aka grays and her skills are needed to ensure that the other houses don't abuse their powers.

This is a dark and vividly disturbing book. There are multiple trigger warnings. It is not for the squeamish as the plot takes some very disturbing and macabre turns. The storytelling is densely layered with multiple timelines and flashbacks as the tension and intrigue gradually build. It was a page turner for me. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that this was the first book in a series. Ugh. It ends on a cliffhanger, as is always the case with books in a series, and the next book isn't due to be published until 2022 so that was a disappointment. I wish this was a standalone book with the mystery wrapped up at the end. However, this was a good October read. A dark academia fantasy novel with a very creepy vibe and plenty of the paranormal.

My Rating: Good but definitely not for everyone...especially sensitive readers.

6.) Miracle on 34th Street by Valentine Davies

This was my book club's pick for December 2021. It is short and sweet. Perfect for a busy December.

From Goodreads:

Generations of believers in hope and goodwill have made Valentine Davies’ Miracle on 34th Street a treasured part of their holiday traditions. Millions of copies of this award-winning story have sold since its first publication in 1947, delighting readers of all ages. A facsimile edition of the book is now faithfully re-created, offering a new generation--and fans of the original--the beauty of the classic 1940s design. Details of how the book came to be written, and made into a beloved film, are included in a brief historical note.

This best-selling novella is about a disillusioned single mom and her skeptical little girl who meet a mysterious man and come to believe in the magic of Christmas. The author was inspired to write this story while standing in a long line at a department store and wondering what Santa Claus would think about the commercialization of Christmas. He took his story idea to a friend who wrote the screen play for the 1947 movie. Valentine Davies then wrote the novella and both came out at the same time. So this 1947 book/movie combo didn't follow the usual pattern. 

I listened to this on audiobook. Some how the novel adaptation that I listened to was the one that paired with the 1994 movie and not the 1947 movie. Things were modernized in my version. Fred became Bryan. Doris became Dorey. Macey's became Cole's. There were cellphones and beepers mentioned. I hated that. I loved the mid-century setting of the original story and movie. I also prefer the plot in the older version and how Fred *proves* that Santa is real. I wish I would have listened to the older version of the novella. 

Don't get me wrong, I like the 1994 movie. It's a John Hughes film! But I prefer the old 1947 version and I definitely prefer the 1947 version of the novella. What is cute and charming in the John Hughes film was lackluster in the updated novella. What worked for the screen didn't work for the page.

But regardless of what version of novella or movie, the message remains that "Christmas is not just a day, it's a state of mind." It is a message of hope and faith that continues to be needed 74 years later.

I also loved these quotes:

“Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.”

"Anyone could have faith when everything was fine. But real faith meant believing, rain or shine."

Miracle on 34th Street is a holiday tradition. It's a nostalgic quick read.

My Rating: Good... but only for the 1947 version. The updated version is only...Okay.

7.) Echo by Pam Muñoz Ryan

This is a novel that Bryn came home from school one day and said, "Mom, we have to read this together!!" Her teacher had just read it to their class and she absolutely loved it and wanted to share it with me. I, of course, said, "Let's do it!" We started this book at the beginning of the pandemic and read it in spurts. She is now a 7th grader but we finally finished reading it aloud. It was well worth it. 

From Goodreads:

Lost and alone in a forbidden forest, Otto meets three mysterious sisters and suddenly finds himself entwined in a puzzling quest involving a prophecy, a promise, and a harmonica. Decades later, Friedrich in Germany, Mike in Pennsylvania, and Ivy in California each, in turn, become interwoven when the very same harmonica lands in their lives. All the children face daunting challenges: rescuing a father, protecting a brother, holding a family together. And ultimately, pulled by the invisible thread of destiny, their suspenseful solo stories converge in an orchestral crescendo.

The setting is WWII and the story is told from the perspective of several children: Otto, Friedrich, Mike, and Ivy who live in various places...Germany, Pennsylvania, and California. They live in different circumstances and one even lives in a different time and yet their lives and stories are woven together through music and a very special harmonica. 

Each of the main characters experiences very difficult life circumstances... WWII Germany injustices, racial segregation, and life in an orphanage and yet each, through music, finds belonging and meaning in their lives. This is an especially great novel for children living through a pandemic.

Echo is a beautifully and compassionately written middle grade novel with memorable and complex characters. It is a novel that both children and adults will love. We did.

My Rating: Excellent

8.) The Penderwicks on Gardam Street by Jeanne Birdsall

This is the second book in the Penderwick series. This is a sweet and charming middle grade series about four sisters and their widowed father. Book two takes place in their own neighborhood after they have returned to school after their summer vacation; which was the setting of the first book.

From Goodreads:

The Penderwick sisters are home on Gardam Street and ready for an adventure! But the adventure they get isn't quite what they had in mind. Mr. Penderwick's sister has decided it's time for him to start dating--and the girls know that can only mean one thing: disaster. Enter the Save-Daddy Plan--a plot so brilliant, so bold, so funny, that only the Penderwick girls could have come up with it. It's high jinks, big laughs, and loads of family warmth as the Penderwicks triumphantly return.

This is a cozy comfort read. It is perfect for a read aloud. The sisters are delightful and enjoyable. The storyline cute and entertaining. I loved the themes of family values, honor, honesty, friendship, love, and loyalty. The setting is wonderful! Despite being set in the 2000s this series has a timeless quality. No cellphones are mentioned and very few "screens". The sisters play outside and roam the neighborhood with the neighborhood kids. It is charming and nostalgic. I especially loved all of the literary allusions peppered throughout the novel. 

My Rating: Delightful!

9.) The Holiday Swap by Maggie Knox

Every year I like to read a Christmas rom-com type book. A Hallmark Christmas movie in book form if you will. Some years my book choices are better than others. This novel wasn't the best I've ever read but it did the job and made hours of holiday baking and gift wrapping more enjoyable as I listened to it.

From Goodreads:

Karma Brown and Marissa Stapley jointly writing as Maggie Knox’s The Holiday Swap, a rom-com about identical twin women who temporarily switch lives in the days leading up to Christmas and find unexpected personal and professional fulfillment along the way.

This is a contemporary romance about twin sisters who trade places and hijinks and romance ensue as each steps into the other twin's life. One sister runs the family bakery in a little mountain town and the other sister is a judge on a reality TV baking competition show in LA. The story unfolds via the alternating POVs of both sisters.

The story was very Hallmark-esque. Very clean. (Could have used a bit more spice!) Very predictable. Not emotionally or intellectually taxing. It was easy reading/listening fluff... but for me it wasn't Christmasy enough. I needed a lot more Christmas in this *Christmas* book. 

I know that books, especially romance novels, require a level of suspended disbelief but the cavalier attitude about concussions and head trauma really bothered me. It took me out of the story multiple times.

I liked the parts of the story about the family bakery in the quaint little town and all of its residents the best and less about the baking competition show in Los Angeles. I actually quite liked the last chapter of the book and wanted a continuation of that story rather than the one I just read. It ended with a cute happy ending which was, of course, what I wanted. So maybe not the best Christmas rom-com I've ever read but not the worst either.

My Rating: Okay...might be better as a Hallmark Christmas movie. 

10.) Magnolia Table: Volume Two by Joanna Gaines

Fantastic! I am a fan of both of Joanna Gaines cookbooks. I've made multiple recipes and all were winners. This one was just as good as the first cookbook. Highly recommend.

My Rating: Excellent!

11.) The Penderwicks at Point Mouette by Jeanne Birdsall

From Goodreads: 

When summer comes around, it's off to the beach for Rosalind . . . and off to Maine with Aunt Claire for the rest of the Penderwick girls, as well as their old friend, Jeffrey. That leaves Skye as OAP (oldest available Penderwick)—a terrifying notion for all, but for Skye especially. Things look good as they settle into their cozy cottage, with a rocky shore, enthusiastic seagulls, a just-right corner store, and a charming next-door neighbor.  But can Skye hold it together long enough to figure out Rosalind's directions about not letting Batty explode?  Will Jane's Love Survey come to a tragic conclusion after she meets the alluring Dominic? Is Batty—contrary to all accepted wisdom—the only Penderwick capable of carrying a tune?  And will Jeffrey be able to keep peace between the girls . . . these girls who are his second, and most heartfelt, family?

This is the third book in the Penderwick family series. Once again it is summer vacation for the Penderwicks and this time most of the girls are vacationing in Maine with Aunt Claire. It is another great installment. The Penderwicks really are a modern classic. The delightful writing and the realistic and likeable characters makes these novels enjoyable reads for all ages. Perfect family read alouds. 

I loved that in this novel Jeffery has returned and that his storyline progressed in an interesting way. All of the characters have grown and matured and it was fun to read about their new adventures in Maine while still maintaining the wonderful themes of trust, responsibility, loyalty, friendship, and family that made the other books in the series so special.

My Rating: A charming middle grades series.

12.) The Complete Guide to Fasting by Jason Fung

From Goodreads:

The Complete Guide to Fasting explains: why fasting is actually good for health who can benefit from fasting (and who won't) the history of fasting the various ways to fast: intermittent, alternate-day, and extended fasting what to expect when starting to fast how to track progress while fasting the weight loss effects of fasting how to ward off potential negative effects from fasting. The book also provides tools to help readers get started and get through their fasts, including a 7-Day Kick-Start Fasting Plan and healing liquid recipes.

This is a good primer for intermittent fasting. It has the same information that is in Fung's Obesity Code just in a glossier, more user-friendly, and picture-filled form. It discusses how to introduce fasting into our lives in a safe and effective manner. Explains how insulin works and the effects of insulin resistance and hormones on weight gain. The various fasting protocols are explained in an easy-to-understand way and includes practical tips. As I did in Fung's other book I liked the sections on the benefits of fasting...mental, spiritual, and physical...along with the history of fasting.

My Rating: Good, but I prefer Fung's other book The Obesity Code.

2021: Year in Review

2021 was a doozy. It was one of the more difficult years of my life. This is coming on the heels of several difficult years. But this one was even worse than the year my mom died (hard to believe). It is due to the fallout and ramifications of her death and the dispersion of her estate. Add all of that nightmare to a year of heart surgeries, another year of COVID, and another sad loss, and it didn't add up to one of our better years. But we persevered.

Here's what 2021 brought us:

-Tyler had another heart surgery and two stents placed in the original location. This was due to a full blockage in the original site and after a failed attempt to place them the week before. I am so grateful that this surgery was successful.

-The COVID-19 pandemic continued to rage.

-In January we were still in quarantine...nearing 300 days of being separated from friends, family, school, church, work, and activities.

-Kam started the year in Blaine, MN.

-The kids were still doing online school. 

-We still couldn't see Reilly and could only do porch visits with her. It was awful.

-Crazy Trump supporters stormed the Capital Building.

-Ailey started Drivers Ed. It had been delayed due to the pandemic. It finally returned with online classes and limited in-person drives.

-In-person seminary started back up but it was only a few days a week. Yes, kids went to seminary but not to school.

-Bryn got her first calling in church. President of the younger girls in YW.

-Trump was banned from Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

-The country was in chaos. It was a mess of hatred, intolerance, and division.

-Stake Conference was online.

-Kam and his fellow Minnesota missionaries continued to be limited in where they could go and who they could meet with. The mission president sent "happy light" light bulbs to all of the missionaries due to high levels of depression from the isolation. 

-Tyler became a gun owner.

-Bryn continued doing piano lessons over FaceTime.

-Spokane had another large windstorm that did an incredible amount of damage. Not quite as much as in 2015 but nearly. Our power was out for three days in the midst of a very cold January. Businesses had to close due to power outages. Coeur d' Alene was particularly hard hit. Midtown Market closed.

-We upgraded and replenished all of our "survival" items once again.

-The girls and I went back to in-person church. 

-Joe Biden became our new President and Kamala Harris became our new Vice-President.

-Bryn gave her first talk in Sacrament Meeting.

-Book club continued to be held via Zoom.

-Tyler's follow up cardiology appointment went well.

-I received a payment for the sale of a small piece of property from my grandparents estate. Everything from their trust was finally dispersed and closed. One trust down and one to go.

-Tyler turned 50! We booked a suite at the Coeur d' Alene resort for several days and it was wonderful! 

-Bryn registered for Middle School.

-Ailey went back to in-person dance team practice. Masked and outside in February but still in person!

-Trump was acquitted.

-A crazy winter storm of snow and ice and freezing temperatures hit Texas and did major damage and power was out for over a week in most places.

-On February 17th (341 days after schools closed) Bryn went back to in-person school. Thrilling! She was on a hybrid schedule of every other day and alternating Fridays.

-Kam transferred to Princeton, MN. His first small town. He wasn't a fan. LOL.

-We replaced our living room floors! Goodbye carpet!

-Tyler was the project manager for a huge project in Oregon. All of which had to be done online and off-site. It was stressful but he did it and did a great job!

-Ailey finally went back to in-person school. 353 days after schools closed. The elementary schools went back first, then middle schools, and then the high schools. She was also on a hybrid schedule of every other day and alternating Fridays.

-Kam got his first REALLY difficult companion and struggled.

-Ailey had her first dance team performance of the year. No parents and no spectators. The game was broadcast online but didn't include the halftime show. :(

-Tyler was able to go into his office for one day. It was only to pack up his office as his floor was being remodeled.

-In March WA State rolled out the first of the COVID-19 vaccines but only first responders and teachers qualified. Other states were allowing those who were immunocompromised to get the vaccine. Not WA.

-We hit the one year anniversary of COVID. It was depressing.

-In mid-March Tyler and I were able to be vaccinated in the State of Idaho due to the help of supportive friends and our status of being property owners in Idaho.

-I got COVID arm which was an itchy and swollen reaction to the COVID vaccine but it went away after a few days.

-Tyler got a bonus and a raise!

-School threats and lockdowns started up again. It didn't take long. 

-High School's abbreviated sports seasons started with volleyball in February and then moved onto football in March and basketball in May. It was weird but we were grateful that sports were happening even if shortened and in the wrong season.

-Beverly turned two!

-By the end of March only the parents of athletes/dancers/cheer could attend football games.

-In April Tyler and I got our second doses of the vaccine again in Idaho. 

-WA state was one of the very last states in the country for people with and without heath issues to receive the vaccine. Months and months later. It was shameful.

-Bryn turned 12!

-I was asked by the stake to be an adult moderator for Youth Resiliency courses in addition to my calling as 1st counselor in the Stake Primary Presidency. We made Ailey and Bryn take the courses. LOL.

-Chaos erupted in Minneapolis once again due to the Derek Chauvin trial and another police shooting. Kameron and his fellow missionaries went into lockdown for two weeks. No grocery shopping. No nothing. They were told prior to the trial to get enough groceries to last for a couple of weeks.

-Tyler was called to be the first counselor in the bishopric. This was after 400 days of not attending church in person. He still hadn't gone back to church when he was extended the calling. We were shocked.

-Bryn started Track and ran for a city team.

-On April 18th...401 days after COVID hit...we ended our COVID quarantine. Hallelujah! Exactly two weeks after our second doses of the vaccine.

-That is also the day that Tyler was set apart as a member of the bishopric.

-We got to see Reilly IN PERSON! We got to hug her and hang out with her and have her in our home!! It was the best day ever!

-Once vaccinated we were able to socialize with friends and family again. FINALLY! It felt great!

-I got to attend my institute class again. There was never an online option for it. :(

-Kam had his first baptism.

-In April Bryn was named Student of the Month!

-Kam's early curfew and lockdown ended when the guilty verdict came in for the Derek Chauvin trial.

-On April 28th Bryn went back to school FULL-TIME!

-A few weeks after that Ailey went back to school full-time!

-Bryn attended online Strings Club every Wednesday as no official band or orchestra classes could be held yet.

-Ailey got her drivers license!

-Reilly and Hunter moved from Spokane Valley to an apartment near Tyler's office. The housing/rental shortage made finding an apartment EXTREMELY difficult. The owner sold their previous apartment and they had a limited amount of time to find something else. It was nearly impossible. They searched for months! It was incredibly stressful. They ended up living in the guest quarters at her boss's house for several weeks until they finally found something.

-Tyler, Ailey, Bryn, and I flew to Las Vegas for five days in March. It was so nice to get out of town and to go on a little vacation after so long. The girls met their grandfather for the first time.

-Tyler and I celebrated our 26th anniversary! We ate our favorite sushi INSIDE the restaurant! 

-We replaced our kitchen floors! This has been my favorite home improvement project thus far.

-Kameron and Ailey both got vaccinated in May!

-Bryn kicked butt in track! She had an awesome season!

-High school basketball season started in May and so did dance competitions. But dance teams had to compete via video submissions. Ailey's team *virtually* went to State and got 2nd in pom! 

-Hunter turned 26! He was also in a car accident with his boss on his birthday. Thankfully both of them were okay.

-Ailey tried out and made the dance team for her senior year and was made a captain!

-Piano lessons started in person again.

-Bryn's extroverted bubbly personality returned! Thank goodness. That was very worrisome.

-Ailey got her first job. She is a server at a retirement home. It is the same place and doing the same thing that Reilly and Kameron both did. She was hired on the spot. LOL.

-Ailey had her first in person choir concert in a year and a half.

-Bryn had an in person piano recital.

-Bryn got vaccinated!

-I turned 49!

-Bryn went to the temple for the first time.

-Bryn graduated from elementary school. Bittersweet. We loved our elementary school.

-Kameron got transferred to Prior Lake, MN. He loved it! He and his favorite companion (so far) were both made social media specialists for the whole mission. He loved that!

-The summer of HELL began.

-My siblings and I participated in a legal mediation. It was a grueling 7 hours. Stacey, Kelley, and Jordin finally admitted that they could not purchase the lake house and agreed to put it on the market. Kirk and I were given the sole responsibility of selling the property. 

-Kirk and I listed the lake property in June and it sold within three days for 50k over the asking price.

-My sisters sunk to a level of depravity that I couldn't have even imagined. It was incredibly difficult.

-The school year ended.

-At the end of June the State of WA lifted the mask mandate and we could stop wearing masks!

-Kameron hit his year mark on his mission. Woohoo!

-Tyler, the girls, and I traveled to Utah for the 4th of July and spent a wonderful week with family and friends.

-Our basement flooded.

-We hit a deer coming back from Lake Coeur d' Alene after a day of boating and totaled our suburban. Thank goodness we were all okay and so was the boat!

-Judie and Joel came to visit and we had a wonderful time while they were here.

-I was super busy with my calling. Multiple stake primary activities...speaking every month in a different ward... trainings. I enjoyed it and found most of it quite interesting.

-Kirk and Meki came for their last hurrah at the lake. We spent all week cleaning out the lake house and property without any help from our sisters but with their constant abuse. It was hell.

-Many extended family members added to the abuse. It was extremely painful and isolating.

-There were constant interactions with attorneys. Awful doesn't even begin to describe it.

-We had our last week at the lake. It was unending work and incredibly difficult both mentally and physically.

-I hit the lowest I have ever felt in my life. Completely defeated. It scared me.

-I said goodbye to the lake house. It was a death.

-Bryn attended Girls Camp for the first time and LOVED it! Unfortunately the fires were so bad and the air quality so unhealthy that they were forced to come home after only 24 hours. 

-I participated in Farm Chicks. It was awful from a mental health standpoint and successful from a financial standpoint.

-At Farm Chicks I had my first interactions with my sisters in over a year. It was terrible. Terrible is too mild of a word.

-Kirk and I found out inadvertently that the new Kaniksu Community Health Clinic was being named after my mother. A fact that Stacey, Kelley, and Jordin had known for over a year and a half and deliberately kept from us. Unbelievable.

-We closed on the lake house and it was such a relief.

-We were only mask free in WA for about a month and a half before WA reinstated the mask mandate due to the Delta variant of COVID.

-Kameron took up golf. 

-Ailey got her senior pictures taken. They are darling!

-Summer passed by in a horrible lake house selling blur. We tried to cram in some boating and biking and fun in the last week before school started.

-Naomi and Kevin came to town and we road the Hiawatha Trail with them. So fun! It was something that had been on my bucket list for years. It did not disappoint and it was wonderful to see them twice this year!

-The new school year started and it was full time. Yay!

-Ailey started her senior year and Bryn started middle school as a 7th grader. Pivotal years for both.

-Ailey was immediately busy with ProStart, Outdoor Living, FCCLA, and being a dance team captain.

-Bryn started orchestra.

-Bryn ran XC for her school team and KILLED it! She ended her season with 9th place at the All-City finals!

-Tyler got COVID the first week of October. It was very scary. He had to quarantine from all of us for ten days. Luckily he seemed to have a somewhat milder case due to being vaccinated. He also got the monoclonal antibodies treatment which helped.

-My sisters continued to be monstrous and launched a full-fledged smear campaign against Kirk and I to anyone and everyone rather than deal with their issues and attempt to move forward with their lives.

-Kam got transferred to Fairmont, MN. Another little town with only a branch on the border of Minnesota and Iowa. He got to open an area which was exciting for him.

-My business continued to do well all year. Thank goodness. Having that as a creative outlet was a godsend.

-Book club went back to in person but masked.

-My father-in-law was diagnosed with COVID. He recovered from that and a week later was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.

-Joel's cancer proved to be extremely aggressive. He was put on hospice care after four weeks.

-Tyler, Ailey, Bryn, and I flew to Utah to be with him and to gather with family. We were able to spend a few very special days with him and the rest of Tyler's family.

-My Aunt Bonnie came to town and it was really nice and healing to see her.

-Joel passed away three days after we returned home from Utah. It was heartbreaking and so difficult for our kids to lose another grandparent. It was especially hard for Kameron to be on his mission during all of this.

-We flew back to Utah along with Reilly and Hunter for the funeral.

-Ailey started working on her college applications, essays, and helping Kam get started on his own.

-Ailey took the SAT.

-Reilly turned 25!

-Kameron turned 21!

-Bryn started volleyball and made the varsity team. She loved it!

-Bryn badly sprained her wrist and her volleyball season was cut short.

-Tyler continued to work from home all year. He was scheduled to return to the office on a hybrid schedule in November but the Omicron variant of COVID put all of that on hold. There is no foreseeable date to return. 

-We traveled to Portland and spent Thanksgiving with Paul and Whitney.

-The dedication of the clinic being named after Mom was postponed due to construction delays.

-Ailey got accepted to college!

-Dance team competitions started up again this time in person.

-Ailey had her winter concert.

-Bryn had her first orchestra concert.

-Kameron briefly moved to Albert Lea, MN and was part of a trio due to his current companion finally being able to go to Italy (his original mission call).

-Kameron got transferred back to Fairmont, MN. He has grown to love this little branch and they love him.

-Kameron got to do a temple session right before Christmas. He hadn't been able to go to the temple since his first time. He loved it!

-Tyler enjoyed his calling in the bishopric. It has really stretched him and he has grown in so many positive ways. He has also been really challenged too. It has been fun and quite interesting to watch.

-I got my COVID booster shot in December.

-Omicron is off the charts and it doesn't seem to matter if you have had COVID, been vaccinated, or boosted. It is so depressing. Some businesses have had to close due to being short staffed. It seems like nearly everyone has it or has had it. It feels like we will never be able to put COVID behind us.

-The clinic dedication was rescheduled for January 8th, 2022.

-We had a wonderful Christmas! Having Reilly and Hunter there was fantastic! Last year was so hard not being able to be with family due to COVID. I can't wait for Kameron to be here next Christmas too.

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Health wise this year had its ups and downs. Tyler's heart surgery at the start of the year was extremely stressful as was his contracting COVID after being so careful and cautious. Both turned out okay so that was good but the stress and worry took a toll. Tyler's looping system for his diabetes continues to be a miracle. I'm so grateful that he decided to start it. It has improved his health in so many ways. I continue to be in the throws of perimenopause. I'm so over it. Just end. But it was my mental health that suffered the most this year. I really hit a scary low. I took pounding after pounding with zero recovery time. It was extremely difficult. I still don't feel 100%. I feel maybe 70%. I continue to struggle with anxiety and some depression which manifests as apathy. Is it depression or is it me reacting appropriately to all that has happened? It's a coin toss. I also struggle with stillness. 

Vaccines top the list of good things that happened this year. They gave us hope and freedom but I wish that they were more effective. Tyler got a breakthrough case and now Omicron seems to hit people regardless of vaccination status or if you have already had COVID. It is incredibly frustrating but we remain hopeful and are all getting boosted.

Tyler's job continues to go well and he's had a good year. He makes the best of it and doesn't complain about working from home. He doesn't love it either. He would obviously prefer to be at the office and it is depressing that every time that he *almost* gets to return another variant hits and his company extends the return date. As of now there is no return date. :( My business has done incredibly well this year. I am so grateful to have this creative and financial outlet. I tripled what I made last year and that felt really good. Tyler and I have loved being back in the world... among friends and with Reilly! That has been the best of the latter part of this year. Being able to be with those we love!

All of our kids are doing better than they were at this time last year. Reilly definitely is. The isolation from family for over a year was so difficult for her and didn't help with her mental and physical health. She continues to love her job and to excel at it. She and Hunter are doing well and our relationship with Hunter has grown into an enjoyable and loving one. Kameron has hit his stride on his mission and has changed from boy to man in the 18 months that he has been serving. He loves his mission although he is definitely looking forward to post-mission life! Ailey thrives and is doing all the things and having as normal of a senior year as possible while still living in the midst of a pandemic. She is looking forward to graduation and college! Bryn is back to her old sunny self. She is busy and sporty and enjoying school and friends again. It has been good to see our kids doing well and being happy despite some pretty tough circumstances in the world. They have grit. They have dug in and made the best of things. It has been gratifying and inspiring to witness.

Extended family estrangement continues. There is less to do and less communication and that silence has brought me some personal peace. Do I wish things were different? Of course. Do I think things will change? No. Not unless everyone (not just Kirk and I) get professional help to deal with their myriad of issues. Do I feel sadness? Sometimes. I miss the *idea* of what a big loving family could be. When I hear friends talk about their big fun supportive families I do feel a twinge of sadness for what could have been. Do I feel regret? No. I have done everything possible in very difficult circumstances to live a life of integrity. What I actually feel is relief. The jig is up. The façade lifted. The emperor has no clothes. I've looked reality in the face and accepted it. My focus now is MY family. That is where the dream still lives. That is where my effort, hard work, and personal investment goes. Kirk and his family, healthy relationships with extended family, loving friends...they are the icing on the cake that enhances the good in my own family...but they are not the focus. 

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Goals:

In doing my goal review I am pretty happy with all that I accomplished. 75% of the things that I wanted to accomplish this year I did. That feels like progress. Unfortunately, I accomplished nothing in my fitness/weight goals. Ugh. Tyler and I set several couple goals and accomplished most of them too. That felt good. We had a couple of very large and daunting goals that didn't happen this year but this was *quite* a year and emotional survival took precedence over many other things.

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Books:

My reading this year was somewhat disappointing. I had a hard time sitting down to read and being able to focus. But I did accomplish my reading goal. I set a goal to read 50 books in 2021 and I read 51. But what I was inclined to read was rather surprising. Middle grade. A lot of it. Middle Grade doesn't take much concentration and it's comforting. I can also share it with Bryn. Still, it was weird. This year I was asked to read and review a book written by a local author so that was rather exciting!

My Favorite Books of 2021:

1.) Ready Player Two by Earnest Cline

2.) Magic Lessons by Alice Hoffman

3.) Peace Like a River by Leif Enger

4.) Anxious People by Fredrik Backman

5.) Howards End by E.M. Forster

They are all five star books. They are the ones that have stayed with me, that I have reflected upon, and that made a difference in my 2021 reading life.

I chose Ready Player Two because it was so much fun to read! I couldn't put it down and enjoyed every minute. It was a pure pleasure read. I chose Magic Lessons because I loved the writing and the world of Practical Magic that Alice Hoffman created. This is my favorite book in the series so far. Another pleasure read. I chose Peace Like a River because it is so touching and beautiful. I loved the family and I have thought about this book a lot since reading it. I have pressed it into other people's hands, bought it as gifts, and even bought a hard back copy for myself. It was also a book club book. I chose Anxious People because it made me laugh, feel, and think. I love Backman's storytelling. This was another book club book. Finally, I chose Howards End because I loved the Schlegel siblings, the setting, and the writing. This was another book that I bought as a gift for a friend. All of my favorite books of 2021 were transportive and immersive. They took me elsewhere and kept me riveted in their world.

Worst Book of 2021:

The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah

This is an unpopular opinion but I didn't like this book and I don't love Kristin Hannah either.

Book Stats:

Fiction: 38

Nonfiction: 13

Book Club Books: 9 (The other 3 I had already read.)

Classics: 9

Middle Grade: 12

Tyler and I read three books together this year: Ready Player Two, Into the Drowning Deep, and The Sun Down Motel.

Favorite Social Media Follows:

1.) Sharon Says So

2.) The Food Nanny

3.) Ballerina Farm

4.) 5 Marys Farm

5.) Laura Tremaine

This year I found it soothing to watch ranching/farming accounts even though I have no interest in ever farming or ranching. LOL. I also like my current events/news to be bias free. 

Occasionally I watched TikTok but only fridge/pantry restocking videos and the occasional cleaning video because both are mesmerizing and the restocking videos are perfect ASMR. Oh wait! I also watched Noodle the Pug to find out if it was a bones or no bones day! Ha Ha!

Favorite Podcasts:

1.) Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

2.) Currently Reading 

3.) Ten Things to Tell You... which sadly just ended.

4.) Kelly Corrigan Wonders

5.) Be There In Five

Favorite Activities of 2021:

1.) Boating

2.) Biking

3.) Lime Scootering

4.) Daily Walks

5.) Hanging out with friends

6.) A bonus one: TRAVEL

Favorite Purchases of 2021:

These all came at the end of the year...

1.) Remote Start. It is wonderful to warm the car in winter and it will be delightful to cool it in summer. 

2.) Gigantic Studded Snow Tires 

3.) Intonval Wireless Charger

Why oh why, did it take me so long to get one of these and just dealt with 50 million annoying chargers and cords. I absolutely love mine. Tyler got one and loves it too. 

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To me the year felt like not much changed and things were hard. In reflection, some things were hard! But I was actually quite surprised to see that things DID improve significantly from January 2021 to January 2022 with the exception of losing my father-in-law. I'm grateful that this end-of-the-year blog post reminded me of that. 

December 2021: Post Christmas

 This meme pretty much sums it up! 

The day after Christmas was a Sunday and church was only one hour. Our ward decided to do our Christmas Sunday Service then. It actually turned out to be really nice. It felt like we got an extra day of Christmas. It was all musical numbers and only one short talk. Ailey and Bryn sang a beautiful arrangement of What Child is This with a youth choir. It was fun to have time to visit and chat with our friends and to wish everyone a Merry Christmas/Happy New Year. It's too bad that every Sunday isn't like that! Short and sweet!

After church we put our pajamas back on, ate a Tapas style lunch, watched two more Christmas movies, read some stories from our Christmas box, ate more food, snuggled up, and relaxed. It was great!

The next day was lazy and relaxing. We got even more snow. We all slept in late. Tyler and I did a snowy walk. Reilly came over for dinner, which was fun, and then we all video chatted with Kameron. 

The rest of the week was a blur. We slept in every day. It snowed every day. We ate fattening rich delicious food every day. We saw friends. The girls saw friends. They had some activities going on... dance team and YW. We watched the movie, Being the Ricardos, and didn't love it. We went walking in the snow nearly every day.

I dusted off the neglected Peloton and did a few rides. I really do enjoy the Peloton. It felt good. Bryn and I snarfed down an entire bag of Texas Ruby Red Grapefruit from Costco. Amazing. Bryn and I also read the book Echo aloud while snuggling under our new heated throws. It was lovely.

Bryn zonked out every single time we read. If any of my kids want to snuggle up and read a book together I will drop everything to do it. That is one of the things that I miss the most about our kids growing up...not reading together anymore. That was such a big part of their childhoods.

I worked on some Valentine projects for Sisters Creed. The roads were too bad to make it to vendor night yet again. The roads have been an absolute disaster! I stayed home and watched movies with Tyler and the girls. I FINALLY watched the original Matrix. 23 years later. LOL. I am not a sit-down-and-watch-a-movie-type-person but I am trying to do more of that for my family's sake. They love movie nights.

New Year's Eve:

Then it was New Year's Eve. Reilly and Hunter came back over and we had another fun holiday with them! The kids wanted all kinds of appetizers and games. Done deal. 

We had party hats, tooters, and sparkling beverages! We found the best sparkling grape juice in the Jewish section of our grocery store. Who knew? It was delicious! We nearly glugged it all down before midnight!

We played a million games. They were all EXTREMELY competitive. Tempers flared. At one point people had to go to their separate corners to cool down. Ha ha. But... after that it was back to having fun. We talked to family and friends on and off throughout the night. All in all, it was a fun night and midnight arrived rather quickly!

At midnight fireworks were shot off in our neighborhood, we banged pots and pans, we tooted our tooters, we blared music, we danced in the kitchen, we opened the front door to let 2021 out and yelled out the door our "Welcome 2022!" (Even Kameron reported that he did this while "freezing my nuts off in -15 degree weather!" Ha! Classic Kam.)

Happy New Year!

If you can believe this... it was our turn (along with a couple of other families) to clean the church on NEW YEAR'S DAY! We had to be there at 10am. I also had to work. They close the store on New Year's Day and vendors are supposed to come in and switch out all of their holiday items and refresh their booth for the new year. It sounds awful but it was actually kind of nice. I enjoyed visiting with vendor friends and it felt good to switch out my merchandise. Tyler and I grabbed dinner on the way home and got back in time to video chat with Kameron. I love that they get to video chat on all of the holidays and family members birthdays etc. It has definitely helped with being separated. Later that night we continued eating treats (This must stop!) and watched the Harry Potter Reunion show. I cried multiple times. LOL. While technically this occurred in January I feel like New Years Day is the *real* end of December.

Let's hope for the best, shall we?

A Christmas Miracle

While out celebrating my friend Mary's birthday, I had something incredible occur. Miraculous even. One of our stops was at Boulevard Mercantile. This is an upscale antique store in Spokane. Several of my friends are vendors there and it is a beautiful place and a favorite of hipsters. It is curated in a lovely way that flows and delights the eye. It isn't your grandma's antique store. In that way it is similar to Midtown Market in CDA but where Midtown is light and bright...Boulevard is like its moody older Ivy league sister. It's darker and more sophisticated whereas Midtown is trendier. I digress but both stores are fantastic. 

That day I shopped around and spent some time in my friends' sections and found some vintage Christmas items that I collect. I wandered to the front of the store which is a section that isn't curated by anyone that I know. There was a big antique silver punch bowl by the front windows. It was filled to the brim with vintage ornaments and there was a sign that said $4 each. As I was gently digging through the punch bowl looking at the ornaments, I found a beautiful German glass bell and an incredibly old and delicate German frosted pinecone. Those German glass pinecones are a favorite at our house. I am always on the hunt for them.  As I was marveling at my good fortune another ornament caught my eye. It had been unearthed in the punch bowl as I sorted through its contents. I stared at it in astonishment. It was an ornament made by my mother. I picked it up and began to cry.

My mom was an ornament aficionado and snob. She started our whole ornament tradition. She got us all hooked on German glass ornaments especially antique ones. She would search all year for the most perfect and meaningful ornaments for each of us. Many times they were antique. She never once gave us a Hallmark type ornament or one from somewhere like Target. 

Often she would make the ornaments herself. Her creations are gorgeous. She ordered vintage tinsel and vintage German glass glitter online and made these incredibly sumptuous ornaments. They are treasures. When we started Sisters Creed she would often make ornaments for Christmas shows and would sell them in our booth along with the rest of our vintage Christmas merchandise. Every year she would design a couple of different varieties and if she really liked her designs she would keep one or two different ones back and make them extra special for family members. But that was only if she felt like there was meaning in it for them. Not one of us ever got the same ornament and that included all of the grandchildren. It was always really fun to see what Mom had either picked out or designed for each of us and why. Often my mom and I would be shopping together when she would find a special ornament for someone and I would be sworn to secrecy.

As I held this decorated gold ball in my hand I knew instantly that it was one of hers. I know her style. I know her handiwork. I wondered how it ended up there. It isn't vintage. This section didn't belong to anyone who knew her. This isn't a thrift store where someone would have donated it. With my heart pounding I added it to my stash and bought it at the register.

The next morning I started doubting myself and was almost afraid to pull it out of the bag. I began to think that I was deluding myself and wanting the ornament to be something that it wasn't. I so wanted my mother to give me just one more ornament for Christmas and I was making up stories in my head. As I sat on the couch that morning, I happened to glance at the tree, and I saw an ornament that my mother had given me several years ago. It was the same ornament as the one I just found only mine had been glammed up and made extra special for me by my mom. I pulled the ornament that I purchased from the bag and held it up next to my ornament on the tree with shaking hands. It was a match. The same picture. The same trim. Her hands made it and I knew it. It was one of the quick ones that she had whipped out for a Christmas show. Someone must have purchased it and then it somehow found its way into a store that I love and then into my hands. What are the chances?

Sometimes I look for signs that my mom is watching over me and sending me messages. It feels like wishful thinking. I am usually disappointed. I wish that I felt her near more often. I wish that she sent me messages from the other side. I wish that there were symbolic things that I see that are meaningful. But there almost never are. I've had a couple of experiences and even those I begin to doubt over time. But this...this felt different. It felt personal. It felt real. It felt significant. It felt like her and something that she would do. Something that I would know was from her without a doubt. And so I believe. 

Thank you, Mom, for one more special Christmas ornament. One that had a special significance to both you and I especially as I remembered why you gave me the original ornament in the first place. Thank you for this new one that came during a very difficult year. A year that I really needed to feel your love for me deep in my bones. 

We always write our initials and the year on our ornaments. I wrote on this one: 

To: KMJ

From: VJM

Christmas 2021