Friday, March 01, 2024

1,000 Questions


After a delightful New Year's Eve I got the call that I knew would be coming. My Uncle Dennis passed away on New Year's Day. He was at home and surrounded by his family. I am glad that those were the circumstances. 

I didn't know what to feel when I got the news. Do I throw away over 40 years of him being a loving uncle for what has gone down in the last several years? Do I forget that he was the first extended family member to bond with Tyler? Do I forget that my Uncle Dennis met him before anyone else did and wrote letter to my grandparents about him and called my mom to say that, "This is the guy. This is the guy that Kristin is going to marry." Do I forget that he was the first person in my family that Tyler secretly showed my engagement ring to as we stopped at his house on our way to the lake where Tyler would propose to me a few days later? Do I forget that he was the only person I have ever known that ordered pineapple milkshakes? Do I forget all the time that I spent at his house while he would babysit us so that my mom and her sister could run around and do sister things? Do I forget him teaching me to country dance? Do I forget spending time at his mom's house and eating her spudnuts? Do I forget talks around the kitchen table at the lake that helped shape my life? Do I forget standing on him in the water as he flipped me backwards into the lake? Do I forget polyester parties where he (and my aunt) and all of us would dress up in old vintage clothes and walk around on the beach? Do I forget that he liked Miracle Whip while everyone else in our family liked Best Foods so my grandma would have to keep a little jar just for him? Do I forget my grandma hiding sweets from him because he had an uncontrollable sweet tooth? Do I forget him hurling water balloons at me in giant water fights at the lake? Do I forget him teaching me to play baseball and having epic games at the lake? Do I forget that he gave me and Tyler some sound marriage advice that has served us well all of these years? Do I forget that he was funny and made me laugh? Do I forget that he would take me out for burgers when I was in college when he would come to town? So many memories. These are just a few. I have so many conflicting feelings as I have been trying to process my relationship with him over the years.

What are you supposed to feel when someone has been in your life for decades and not all of those decades were bad? Do I forget the pain and hurt that he (and his wife) caused not only me and my brother but also my mom for years and another beloved uncle and aunt. My mom's sister has done serious damage to many in our extended family. Do I wish that he would have reigned her in or held her accountable or got her into counseling or something instead of allowing/enabling her behavior and then taking sides with my sisters about the lake. He had the opportunity to be a voice of reason and he declined that opportunity. He allowed dysfunction and toxicity to fuel a massive family fire and destroy relationships. That is hard to forget. 

I watched and read tributes to him as they were posted all over social media. People talking about how amazing, loving, and supportive he was and how he was fair and kind and treated everyone with love and respect. How he would go out of his way to help everyone. And I wondered...why not me? 

I can tell you right now that Tyler would not stand by and watch me torch relationships with other people or treat them terribly. He would not allow me to do things that deeply hurt others. He wouldn't. I wouldn't like him calling me out for it or making me go to counseling to deal with my issues. I might even hate him for it but he would still do it. Why didn't my uncle step in and do that with my aunt? Why didn't he say enough is enough? Why didn't he try to be a bridge and help heal and bring the family together? I know that he at least agreed with me and Kirk financially. We heard it from his own son. It makes no sense. I know that families tend to cater to the most dysfunctional person in the family as a way to keep the peace but still. 

After his passing I reached out to his kids...the ones that I have some minimal contact with and expressed my condolences. Regardless of all the other family BS losing a beloved parent is HARD. Kirk and I found out that my uncle didn't want a funeral. He just wanted to be cremated and to have his ashes scattered in places that he loved and that their family will have a small private memorial for him at some future date. 

My Aunt Bonnie (the one aunt that we are still close to) reached out to Kirk and I to check in with us and to see how we were doing. She and her family have also been estranged from my uncle and his family for even longer than we have. She told Kirk and I that we are her family and that she loves us unconditionally. I can't tell you how much that meant to me. We appreciate her and her support so much. It was good to have someone who truly understands to talk to about things like this. It's all so complicated.

It was good that Kameron and Ailey were still at home when it happened and that we could talk about it as a family. Reilly and Kameron are the oldest cousins in my mom's family so they grew up hanging out with the youngest kids in my uncle's family. They have 9 kids. Their three youngest kids are close to Reilly and Kameron's ages. With Kameron and Ailey living in Rexburg and regularly running into some of his family members it was good to be able to talk about how to navigate situations like that. Why do things have to be so difficult? I heard back from most of the cousins that I reached out to. I'm fine with things as they stand. I feel peace that I attempted to reach out to him. I feel peace that the last time I saw him was at the dedication of the clinic named after my mom. I spoke to him briefly and we hugged. My aunt on the other hand refused to acknowledge my presence.

So here I stand. Conflicted...with 1,000 questions.


Tuesday, February 27, 2024

January 2024




2024 started out with the college kids still at home and Bryn on Winter Break for another week. She still had basketball though. She either had practice or a game 6 days a week. I was still feeling somewhat crappy and still had no voice. 


Karson is 11 months old!

Everyone went back to work. Kam and Ailey worked until the day before they flew back to Southern Idaho. My Uncle Dennis passed away on New Year's Day. We kept the Christmas trees and all of the Christmas décor up while the kids were still at home. I tried to make all of the kids' requested meals before they left town. We were still trying to cram in some of the fun things that they wanted to do.


One was going to Coco. My friend Celeste opened a second restaurant that is a darling café. Everyone wanted to go so the day before the kids left we all went there for lunch. It was fun to have everyone there. Celeste was there too. We got to have a good visit with her and eat some delicious food!


Our favorites were the Cuban sandwiches!!





I took Karson over to some green velvet chairs so that Reilly could eat her lunch and he was so funny! He sat down and then felt the fabric and looked at me with this sly little grin like "Oohh! I could get used to this luxury!" 

None of my kids have been what I would call an *old soul* but this kid definitely is. It's in his wry smiles and the quirk of his eye brow. It's in his intelligence and how quickly he learns new things. It's in his love of technology and his quick comprehension of his surroundings and happenings. It's in his appreciation for the finer things in life along with its simple pleasures. It's in his interactions with people. It's like sometimes the baby mask drops for a split second and you get a tiny glimpse of the man inside...the man he will become. It's so interesting to observe. 


Sometimes I look at this group of kids and think...they all exist because of me and Tyler!! It kind of blows my mind.


We wandered around for a bit and went to the health food co-op and then over to Boots Bakery for some ginger snaps.


That night was our family dinner before the kids left the next day. Reilly, Hunter, and Karson stayed late. I made the requested street tacos which is always what the kids want on their last night at home. Ailey made another big batch of No Bake cookies. She wanted enough to take back to Rexburg with her and to eat on the plane. Kam cashed in my winning scratch tickets from Reilly's Saran Wrapped Ball game for me. $29! LOL. The kids played more Jackbox while I fixed dinner. We had a family meeting and hashed out any grievances/issues/planning/calendaring of events before everyone went their separate ways for the next few months. It was good to do it! I love my family! Tyler, Kam, and I stayed up late talking until 1am. I love it when Kameron gets chatty! 

The kids flew back the next day. Ugh. I hate the leaving day. It is rough. They got up early and were pretty much packed so we had some good family time that morning. Tyler took the day off and Bryn skipped basketball practice.


Ailey requested that we grab lunch from Huckleberry's so that she could get her dang double dessert that she wanted. That was a very BAD HABIT that we started during COVID quarantine. LOL. We did a quick run to Maverick for plane snacks and then it was onto the airport. On the way we found out that the kids' flight had been delayed by half an hour. We dropped them off at the airport and then Kameron texted that their plane was delayed again.

Driving home I bawled the whole way. I mean sobbed. Bryn cried too and even Tyler was choked up. We miss those crazy and... mildly and sometimes not mildly... annoying kids. I miss their loudness and their messes and their arguing and their comings and goings. I miss our late night chats and having to schedule everything around them and their inconvenient work schedules. I miss them flopping on our bed to chat. I miss their hugs. The first 24 hours after they leave is brutal. The house is so quiet and empty. After that life goes back to normal. But it's really rough the day that they leave. Bryn and I had some errands to run and some shopping to do for her friend's birthday. Then Tyler and I went on a long walk with Beverly. Both of those things helped. 

Kam and Ailey had quite the *adventure* trying to get back to college. After their double delay it gave them very little time to make their connection in SLC. Like two minutes to run 40 gates in the Delta terminal at the SLC airport. It's HUGE. It became a big mess. The airline representative in Spokane said that they had two options: 1.) They could go home and try it all again the next day and 2.) There was a small window of a chance that they could make their connecting flight but if they didn't they would have a 24 hour layover in SLC. (There's like one flight a day that goes from the SLC airport to the little Idaho Falls airport.) The airline rep said that they would hold the plane for a few minutes but no longer than that. Tyler was on the phone with the kids trying to figure out alternate options. Finally we all agreed for them to take the chance and try to make their connection. If they missed it, they could rent a car and drive to I.F., and pick up Kam's car at the airport there. We didn't want them spending the night in SLC because a big snowstorm was coming the next day. 

They got on their flight to SLC. The flight attendants moved them up closer to the front so that they could get off the plane a little quicker. Somehow they made up about 20 minutes in the air. By the time they got off the plane they had 10 minutes to get to their gate rather than 2 minutes. The flight attendants told them to RUN! Neither of our children are the kind of people who want anyone to see them looking anything but cool but run they did!! Kameron (former high school runner) told Ailey that he was going to sprint to the gate and let them know that she was coming since Ailey was a slow runner. Ailey (an asthmatic) huffed and puffed her way there. (Hearing them tell this story was hilarious!) When Kam got to their gate the airline person at the desk was like, "You are so lucky! You got here just in the nick of time! I was going to close this gate two minutes ago!" Then Kam had to tell her that his sister was still on her way. LOL.

They ended up holding the plane for a few more minutes so the kids could board. Hallelujah. They made it to I.F. and then to Rexburg before the snow storm. Tyler, Bryn, and I monitored their progress while stress eating brie and trying to watch a movie. My brother would've picked them up and driven them to Rexburg (if needed) but we were super glad that they got there all on their own and safely. Kameron was the rockstar of the day. He was on the phone with Delta multiple times and dealing with the people at the ticket counter and the flight attendants and everything else and making sure that Ailey was taken care of. Thank goodness he was there and Ailey will tell you the same. If it was just Ailey in this scenario...yikes. But BOTH of them learned how to navigate situations like this and both will be able to handle it if/when this kind of thing happens again.

Onto the rest of January. My least favorite month. It's cold. There's snow. There isn't much to do. It lasts forever. This January felt like that. Bryn had basketball games twice a week. That kept us out and about and social. The weather was crap. We had blizzards and then a lot of  freezing rain that caused all kinds of trouble. Early morning seminary was cancelled three times due to freezing rain and icy conditions. Church was cancelled one Sunday too but they never cancelled school. Annoying. Midtown Market closed early on the worst days of the dangerous weather. I missed two vendor nights due to horrible road conditions. Tyler worked from home for several days too. 


This is not an ideal situation. He is EASILY distracted!! LOL.

On one of those terrible icy days our next door neighbor, Terri, slid her car right into their garage door. There were wrecks everywhere. It was a nightmare. I would rather have snow than freezing rain. It was so incredibly cold and extremely icy. It was dangerous. People were falling and getting hurt. Then we had two weeks of Arctic weather...temps below zero or single digits. Pipes were breaking all over the place. Businesses closed. You couldn't go outside. Although I got so stir crazy that we did venture out once or twice on very short quick walks looking like this:


We had to dig out our spikes. Thankfully I have a nice new pair. I love them. I cannot stand being cooped up in the house! I need my outside hours. I don't find it cozy being stuck inside due to weather. I can stand it for about one day and then I feel suffocated and claustrophobic. 


Beverly was NOT a fan of the snow either! We had to lure her with tomatoes to get her to go outside at all. This dog will do anything for a tomato.

Our church time changed to early church. 9am. Not a fan. I loved our 11:30 am time this past year. Tyler and I had to get our pictures taken by the stake historian in our various groups. He got his picture taken with the members of the high council and I got my picture taken with all of the auxiliary presidencies. Most of them are good friends of mine so that was fun. What was not fun is that I look hideous and like a two-ton tessie in that picture. Ugh. I can't wait to see those pictures hang on the wall of the stake center for the next 20 years. Both Tyler and I agreed that January is the time to double down on our fitness routines and portion control. Yikes. I also had two ward conferences to attend.

We had basketball and more basketball... 

+




I am a terrible sports photographer! 

I had several meetings for my calling, helped train a new Primary Presidency, and also had our It's Great to Be Eight night for our stake which I spoke it. It was also Stake Conference. Tyler and I both had to be at the Leadership Training as well. At least we can go together. Tyler was also on parking lot duty when the temps were below zero. Poor guy!

Here is how I am trying to tolerate winter... I have been doing a lot more reading and that has been nice. I am also trying to go to bed earlier so that I can get in extra reading time. I am also reading in bed on Saturday mornings (when I can) for an hour or so. It feels decadent! Tyler, Bryn, and I are addicted to the show New Girl which we have been binge watchingI am trying some new recipes. This has been helpful with the January blahs. Most all of the new recipes have been hits. Some of the best recipes have been marinated Asian eggs (so good!) and Thai Glass Noodle Soup (OMG!) I also made my first homemade German chocolate cake. Delicious! I also DEEP cleaned our house. It was needed after the holidays. I organized everything that I possibly could while I was trapped at home. We sold some stuff on Ebay. Be gone crapola!! I also needed a red dress for church. Our Primary Presidency is visiting all of the primaries at their ward conferences and we are all wearing red for our Book of Mormon themed upcoming activity. So I was forced to buy two bright red dresses (I returned one) but I LOVE the other one which I wear with red lipstick. This is also helping with the January blahs. Bright lipstick is magic!!


We put down the living room rug that we found in SLC over Thanksgiving. I love it! It is super cozy!! We are really trying to up the coziness factor in January.

It was Rubber Chicken time again and after three long years. Chuck the Chicken has been returned to our high school. Bryn went and had a fantastic time! Tyler and I happily watched on TV. LOL. 


Then I swapped out all of the Christmas in my booth at Midtown Market and put in all of my Valentine items. I had all of the Christmas stuff out of my booth before I even got it taken down at our house. I had zero motivation. I didn't want it all down. I needed the cheery lights in dark January. I finally got all of our Christmas stuff put away on MLK Day! January 15th! I think that is the latest that we have ever gone. I instantly put up Valentine décor at our house. Just like in my booth! I took the Christmas down and immediately put the Valentine décor up. I've never done that before and it totally helped with the January drear!

The college kids settled in to their 2nd semester. Kam has two new roommates that moved into their townhouse with he and his friends. One of them has a dad that is a Seventy and spoke in their ward the first Sunday after the break. He was also hanging out at their house and the guys were sweating it but apparently he was pretty chill! They were glad when he finally went home though! Ha ha!

Ailey is enjoying her new apartment. She likes most of the girls that she is living with and has some good friends in the complex and her apartment. She was asked to speak in her ward not long after the break. She invited Kameron to come listen to her speak. I'm glad that they are involving each other more in their lives now. 


During all the icy weather Reilly fell down the cement stairs at her work. Thank goodness she wasn't holding Karson. She had gone out to photograph some products and down she went. She called me from work. She was worried that she had broken her foot. Hunter came to pick she and Karson up and brought Karson over to our house while he took her to the doctor. Thank goodness her foot wasn't broken. It was a level three sprain and it put her on crutches for about a week. She also managed to bruise and injure her other ankle but not nearly as bad. It is horrible being on crutches in winter and especially with a baby. Thankfully the weather was so bad that it kept her at home and taking it easy while her ankle healed.


The matching Roy Rogers father/son outfits that Ailey bought Hunter for Christmas finally arrived after a long backorder. So cute!

Toward the end of the month we were finally able to get back outside and go on our daily 3 mile walks. The first night into our walk we saw this gorgeous sunset. This picture is exactly as I took it. No alterations or filter. It was gorgeous!!



By the end of the month both Kameron and Ailey were *officially* in relationships. They are both so happy and dating really nice people. What more can you ask for?


Ailey and Luke




Kameron and Erin


Tyler and I are looking forward to meeting both of these kids! Both Luke and Erin are return missionaries. Luke is a bit older than Ailey. Erin is a bit younger than Kam. Ailey has met Erin and really likes her and Kameron has met Luke and liked him too. So there you go.


This month it was our ward's turn to clean the temple. This opportunity comes around every few years. Tyler and I signed up to clean with about 20 other people (lots of our friends) on a Thursday night after vendor night. Our shift was from 9:15 pm to 11 pm. There wasn't much to clean in a spotless place but we dutifully wiped down, dusted, vacuumed, steamed, and scrubbed. It was quick and easy. 

Ailey spoke in her ward and Kameron and his friends came to listen to her speak. This is the kind of picture that I got from Kam:


LOL.

Kameron said that Ailey did a really good job speaking and that he was impressed. That's high praise from Kameron!!


Bryn registered for her sophomore year. High school is flying by at its usual high speed! We try to squeeze in time with her whenever she isn't busy. Easier said than done!!


Tyler also spent some quality time on a Saturday morning teaching Bryn how to clean an oven! Ha ha! Got to get those life skills in!! I wish I took a picture of that fun event. LOL.

In some really sad news... a friend in our ward passed away unexpectedly in a freak accident. He fell off a ladder in his garage and sustained a traumatic brain injury. He was found by his wife when she got home from work. It rocked our ward. It's a big loss. Our ward is doing everything possible to shower his wife and sons with love. His funeral was lovely and heartbreaking.

I managed to squeeze in a little time with friends and also made it to book club this month. Yay! Bryn ended the month madly studying for finals AND the Chiefs are going to the Super Bowl!! Tyler is so HAPPY!!

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Fall Book Reviews 2023

 I forgot to post this earlier....whoops.

1.) The Keeper of Lost Things by Ruth Hogan


This was my book club's pick for September 2023.

From Goodreads:

Lime green plastic flower-shaped hair bobbles—Found, on the playing field, Derrywood Park, 2nd September. Bone china cup and saucer—Found, on a bench in Riveria Public Gardens, 31st October. Anthony Peardew is the keeper of lost things. Forty years ago, he carelessly lost a keepsake from his beloved fiancée, Therese. That very same day, she died unexpectedly. Brokenhearted, Anthony sought consolation in rescuing lost objects—the things others have dropped, misplaced, or accidentally left behind—and writing stories about them. Now, in the twilight of his life, Anthony worries that he has not fully discharged his duty to reconcile all the lost things with their owners. As the end nears, he bequeaths his secret life’s mission to his unsuspecting assistant, Laura, leaving her his house and all its lost treasures, including an irritable ghost. Recovering from a bad divorce, Laura, in some ways, is one of Anthony’s lost things. But when the lonely woman moves into his mansion, her life begins to change. She finds a new friend in the neighbor’s quirky daughter, Sunshine, and a welcome distraction in Freddy, the rugged gardener. As the dark cloud engulfing her lifts, Laura, accompanied by her new companions, sets out to realize Anthony’s last wish: reuniting his cherished lost objects with their owners. Long ago, Eunice found a trinket on the London pavement and kept it through the years. Now, with her own end drawing near, she has lost something precious—a tragic twist of fate that forces her to break a promise she once made. As the Keeper of Lost Objects, Laura holds the key to Anthony and Eunice’s redemption. But can she unlock the past and make the connections that will lay their spirits to rest?

I thought this was a sweet story. Should it have been nominated as Best Fiction in 2017 by Goodreads? Probably not. But it is a gentle read about love, loss, and redemption. I liked the theme of being lost and found whether it was a person or an item. I loved the premise of the charming older gentleman writer who finds and collects "lost things" that he stores and catalogues in his beautiful home while he attempts to reconnect them with their former owners. Eventually Anthony passes away and leaves the house and his collections to his former assistant, a down-on-her-luck divorcee, named Laura. I wanted more Anthony and unfortunately his storyline just ends. The rest of the book is about Laura.

There were other great characters though. I loved Sunshine, a young woman with down syndrome and psychic abilities. She was a delight!! She was the best part of the book. I also really loved Eunice and Bomber and their storyline. Give me all of the pastry eating dogs...Douglas and especially the pug Baby Jane. (I am also an owner of a pampered pug!) I laughed out loud every time the detestable Portia submitted another book manuscript for publication. Those were hilarious!

But about 2/3 of the way through the book begins to unravel. The storyline stopped...sputtered...and seemed to lose its way. The parallel storylines became disjointed and difficult to make all of the connections. (My book club had questions too.) But it was the ghost that ruined it for me. What?! An abrupt change in personality/temperament all for a trinket? That was when the storyline jumped the proverbial shark.

I wish that part of the book would have been different and that the author had tied up some of the loose ends of the storyline. But I still enjoyed this sentimental book with a little bit of everything and our book club had a good discussion. Also, I will never look at lost objects in the same way again!

My Rating: Okay.


2.) The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna


October is here and it's time for some cozy witchy reading! This book came highly recommended. 

From Goodreads:

As one of the few witches in Britain, Mika Moon knows she has to hide her magic, keep her head down, and stay away from other witches so their powers don't mingle and draw attention. And as an orphan who lost her parents at a young age and was raised by strangers, she's used to being alone and she follows the rules...with one exception: an online account, where she posts videos pretending to be a witch. She thinks no one will take it seriously. But someone does. An unexpected message arrives, begging her to travel to the remote and mysterious Nowhere House to teach three young witches how to control their magic. It breaks all of the rules, but Mika goes anyway, and is immediately tangled up in the lives and secrets of not only her three charges, but also an absent archaeologist, a retired actor, two long-suffering caretakers, and...Jamie. The handsome and prickly librarian of Nowhere House would do anything to protect the children, and as far as he's concerned, a stranger like Mika is a threat. An irritatingly appealing threat. As Mika begins to find her place at Nowhere House, the thought of belonging somewhere begins to feel like a real possibility. But magic isn't the only danger in the world, and when a threat comes knocking at their door, Mika will need to decide whether to risk everything to protect a found family she didn't know she was looking for.

This book was perfect to read the first week of October. It kicked off witchy/spooky season reading in a great way! I enjoyed this book and thought that it was the perfect potion of found family, magic, and even romance...and a steamy one at that! I loved the charming setting of Nowhere House in the Norfolk countryside near the sea. It had great cozy autumn vibes and I loved the quirky loveable characters...especially the brooding Irish librarian Jamie and the hilariously dramatic Ian. I loved this world and the cast of characters. I hope this is the start of a series! I enjoyed this cozy fantasy. It is the perfect book to curl up with and enjoy this fall!

My Rating: Good!


3.) The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune


This book has been everywhere and loved by many. Fantasy isn't my go-to but I wanted to see what all the hype (and some controversy) were about.

From Goodreads:

Linus Baker leads a quiet, solitary life. At forty, he lives in a tiny house with a devious cat and his old records. As a Case Worker at the Department in Charge Of Magical Youth, he spends his days overseeing the well-being of children in government-sanctioned orphanages. When Linus is unexpectedly summoned by Extremely Upper Management; he's given a curious and highly classified assignment: travel to Marsyas Island Orphanage, where six dangerous children reside. Linus must set aside his fears and determine whether or not they’re likely to bring about the end of days. But the children aren’t the only secret the island keeps. Their caretaker is the charming and enigmatic Arthur Parnassus, who will do anything to keep his wards safe. As Arthur and Linus grow closer, long-held secrets are exposed, and Linus must make a choice: destroy a home or watch the world burn.

Do I feel that this book has been overhyped? Somewhat. There were several things that I definitely loved...the kids! Especially Chauncey the green amorphous blob who wants to be a bellhop. He was my favorite! I still think about him and laugh! I loved the relationships between the children and also their relationship with Arthur, their headmaster at the orphanage, and with Zoe the sprite who owns the island and helps care for them. I am a sucker for a story about a school or orphanage for magical children. I also love found family stories that are gentle and sweet. This book had all of that including heart and humor.

I enjoyed the fairytale-like quality of the storytelling with its juxtaposition of the dreary, gray, rainy, and cheerless city with the vibrant colorful sun-drenched island. The plotline was simple and straightforward. It read like a middle grade novel and I actually looked it up to see whether it was one or not. It is not but I would definitely recommend this book to adults who love middle grade. The main theme of the book is all about encouraging people to be who they truly are and accepting and loving them for it. 

There were a few things that I liked less. The first of these was the main character Linus. I know that we are supposed to root for him but he was fussy and annoying for most of the novel. I rooted for the children and Arthur Parnassus. Second, I am all for teaching tolerance but there was so much repetition of Klune's moral messages. It was too heavy handed. Maybe this is what made it read like middle grade? Adults understand subtext. It got a bit too much. We, the readers who are mostly adults, get it. Third, despite reiterating tolerance, inclusivity, and nonjudgment over and over again; there was so much body/fat shaming around the main character. This was confusing. You can be whoever you want to be. You can love whoever you want to love but don't be fat.

There has also been some controversy surrounding the novel. The author received some heat after he revealed that he got the idea for the story after reading about the Sixties Scoop which was when the Canadian government was in the practice of removing indigenous children from their homes with the intent of adopting them out to white, middle-class families. He was accused of sugar coating this travesty. 

All in all, I enjoyed this novel. It was whimsical, quirky, and not without charm.

“The world is a weird and wonderful place. Why must we try and explain it all away?"

My Rating: Good.


4.) A Good Girl's Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson



This was our book club's pick for October 2023. It's a YA murder mystery thriller that has been all the rage with teen girls including my own daughter. It was fun to read a book that my daughter had already read and enjoyed and that we could discuss together.

From Goodreads:

The case is closed. Five years ago, schoolgirl Andie Bell was murdered by Sal Singh. The police know he did it. Everyone in town knows he did it. But having grown up in the same small town that was consumed by the murder, Pippa Fitz-Amobi isn't so sure. When she chooses the case as the topic for her final year project, she starts to uncover secrets that someone in town desperately wants to stay hidden. And if the real killer is still out there, how far will they go to keep Pip from the truth?

This book starts out with a great hook that quickly draws you in and keeps you turning pages. Be prepared to suspend some serious disbelief as main character, Pip, can get anyone anywhere of any age to spill their guts to her just because she demands that they do so! Her character is definitely a modern day Nancy Drew who constantly puts herself in danger to play detective. But it made for good pacing and some definite tension as I constantly asked, "Why are you doing that?" and "NO! Don't do that!" This was a fun propulsive read with some great twists...despite every adult in the book acting like they've had a lobotomy! Our book club also had a fun and lively discussion! 

My Rating: Entertaining.


5.) The Comfort Book by Matt Haig


I heard about this book on the Currently Reading Podcast and then happened to find a copy in a little neighborhood free library. Serendipity! Written by the same author as the well known book The Midnight Library, this volume of short essays packs an emotional punch. Haig reflects on his own struggles with depression and the time in his life when he was in a deep depressive state. He was suicidal and ultimately had an emotional breakdown. This book talks about the things that kept him going during that dark period of his life. Some of the essays are several pages and some might be a list of movies or songs, a poem, or even a recipe. It felt like I was reading his journal. It was deeply personal and vulnerable and yet gives a tremendous amount of hope and encouragement.

The writing is beautiful and raw. Some of the chapters really spoke to me...and others not so much...but the ones that did I was highlighting passages and writing comments in the margins. This is definitely a book to come back to when needed. I love that you can dip in and out of it. It can be a slow and steady read of an entry or two a day. I started out that way and then just finished in two days.

I love that Matt Haig is helping to normalize mental health struggles by being vulnerable about his own. This is self-help (ish) in essay form. It is like a daily vitamin. I found it cathartic and comforting.

My Rating: Good.


6.) Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century by Kim Fu


From Goodreads:

In the twelve unforgettable tales of Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century, the strange is made familiar and the familiar strange, such that a girl growing wings on her legs feels like an ordinary rite of passage, while a bug-infested house becomes an impossible, Kafkaesque nightmare. Each story builds a new world all its own: a group of children steal a haunted doll; a runaway bride encounters a sea monster; a vendor sells toy boxes that seemingly control the passage of time; an insomniac is seduced by the Sandman. These visions of modern life wrestle with themes of death and technological consequence, guilt and sexuality, and unmask the contradictions that exist within all of us. Mesmerizing, electric, and wholly original, Kim Fu’s Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century blurs the boundaries of the real and fantastic, offering intricate and surprising insights into human nature.

This was the Spokane is Reading 2023 selection for our community. It is a collection of twelve short stories. Each story is strange in its own way. Some are dark, disturbing, uncomfortable, or just plain weird. Many have a sci-fi or supernatural vibe. Some of the stories are speculative fiction, horror, true crime, magical realism...they run the gamut. The stories are supposed to make you uncomfortable in some way and they do. Each story describes a *monster* that is part of the human experience such as: grief, death, revenge, guilt, power, marriage, social isolation, puberty, technology, sexuality, domestic abuse, and depression to name a few.

I knew absolutely nothing about the book except that it was the 2023 selection so I started reading with zero expectations. Each story had a great hook and opening sentence which kept me reading. The stories were propulsive, eerie, and atmospheric. I quickly read the anthology. My favorite story was the first one; "Pre-Simulation Consultation XF007867" but each story was unsettling and a few were deeply so.

I attended the author event in Spokane where Kim Fu spoke about the book and her writing process. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to her. She explained that the running theme of the short stories had to do with the "anxieties of right now" the ones that we are currently experiencing and have no time to process and then learning to sit with those uncomfortable feelings. I thought that was a fantastic explanation for this collection.

Fun Fact: The short story "Do You Remember Candy?" was written pre-pandemic. So interesting!

My Rating: Interesting and disturbing but very readable and definitely unforgettable.


7.) In the Company of Witches by Auralee Wallace


I was hoping that this would be another book like The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches. It's been hyped on Goodreads as a Sabrina the Teenage Witch meets The Gilmore Girls...or even worse Practical Magic. No and No and definitely NOT.

From Goodreads:

For four hundred years, the Warren witches have used their magic to quietly help the citizens of the sleepy New England town of Evenfall thrive. There's never been a problem they couldn't handle. But then Constance Graves--a local known for being argumentative and demanding--dies while staying at the bed and breakfast Brynn Warren maintains with her aunts. At first, it seems like an accident...but it soon becomes clear that there's something more sinister at work, and Aunt Nora is shaping up to be the prime suspect. There's nothing Brynn wants more than to prove Nora's innocence, and it hurts her to know that even two years ago that might have been easier. Brynn, after all, is a witch of the dead--a witch who can commune with ghosts. Ghosts never remember much about their deaths, but Constance might remember something about her life that would help crack the case. But Brynn hasn't used her powers since her husband died, and isn't even sure she still can. Brynn will just have to hope that her aunts' magic and her own investigative skills will lead her to answers--and maybe back to the gift she once thought herself ready to give up forever.

This is the first book in the Evenfall Witches B&B Mystery Series. It is a cozy witchy mystery if you are in the mood for a low stakes whodunit; but to me this book was bland at best. The mystery wasn't that mysterious. The coziness wasn't that cozy. It wasn't terrible but I won't be continuing on with the series. It just didn't capture my interest.

My Rating: Underwhelming


8.) The Guncle by Steven Rowley


This book has been much beloved by several of my favorite book podcasts. I have to agree. This book was a delight! 

From Goodreads:

Patrick, or Gay Uncle Patrick (GUP, for short), has always loved his niece, Maisie, and nephew, Grant. That is, he loves spending time with them when they come out to Palm Springs for weeklong visits, or when he heads home to Connecticut for the holidays. But in terms of caretaking and relating to two children, no matter how adorable, Patrick is honestly a bit out of his league. So when tragedy strikes and Maisie and Grant lose their mother and Patrick’s brother has a health crisis of his own, Patrick finds himself suddenly taking on the role of primary guardian. Despite having a set of “Guncle Rules” ready to go, Patrick has no idea what to expect, having spent years barely holding on after the loss of his great love, a somewhat-stalled career, and a lifestyle not-so-suited to a six- and a nine-year-old. Quickly realizing that parenting—even if temporary—isn’t solved with treats and jokes, Patrick’s eyes are opened to a new sense of responsibility, and the realization that, sometimes, even being larger than life means you’re unfailingly human.

Patrick is a former famous TV sitcom star who has retreated from Hollywood and is now living in Palm Springs. He ends up taking in his nine year-old niece and six year-old nephew during a difficult time in their lives. I loved this fish-out-of-water story as Gay Uncle Patrick (GUP) takes on temporary fatherhood. Think Three Men and a Baby vibes. Hilarity ensues. In my mind Patrick is Dan Levy of Schitt's Creek fame. GUP is hilarious and one of my favorite literary characters.

I got a kick out of this book about an uncle who nobody ever expected to be able to take care of children but ends up doing an incredible job and forming a beautiful relationship with them. I also delighted in the Hollywood nods and references. I loved Patrick's witty and sarcastic banter. Particularly with his nephew Grant and Grant's 101 questions. Maisie was great too. I laughed out loud many times!

There was also more emotional depth than I anticipated. Hats off to Steven Rowley who took on the difficult and heavy subjects of death, grief, and family dysfunction. He tackled it with heart and humor. It was a good counterbalance.

I was charmed by this book. It was an entertaining quick read. I want to read more by the author. I would recommend this as a great book slump buster or the perfect palate cleanser between heavier reads.

My Rating: Fun and memorable!


9.) The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin 


This was my book club's pick for November 2023. This is the second novel I've read by Gabrielle Zevin. 

From Goodreads:

On the faded Island Books sign hanging over the porch of the Victorian cottage is the motto “No Man Is an Island; Every Book Is a World.” A. J. Fikry, the irascible owner, is about to discover just what that truly means. A. J. Fikry’s life is not at all what he expected it to be. His wife has died, his bookstore is experiencing the worst sales in its history, and now his prized possession, a rare collection of Poe poems, has been stolen. Slowly but surely, he is isolating himself from all the people of Alice Island—from Lambiase, the well-intentioned police officer who’s always felt kindly toward Fikry; from Ismay, his sister-in-law who is hell-bent on saving him from his dreary self; from Amelia, the lovely and idealistic (if eccentric) Knightley Press sales rep who keeps on taking the ferry over to Alice Island, refusing to be deterred by A.J.’s bad attitude. Even the books in his store have stopped holding pleasure for him. These days, A.J. can only see them as a sign of a world that is changing too rapidly. And then a mysterious package appears at the bookstore. It’s a small package, but large in weight. It’s that unexpected arrival that gives A. J. Fikry the opportunity to make his life over, the ability to see everything anew. It doesn’t take long for the locals to notice the change overcoming A.J.; or for that determined sales rep, Amelia, to see her curmudgeonly client in a new light; or for the wisdom of all those books to become again the lifeblood of A.J.’s world; or for everything to twist again into a version of his life that he didn’t see coming. As surprising as it is moving, The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry is an unforgettable tale of transformation and second chances, an irresistible affirmation of why we read, and why we love.

This is definitely a story for readers and bibliophiles. It is about a bookshop and its owner. There are so many great quotes, references, and literary allusions. That was my favorite part of the book. AJ the bitter book seller with his literary prejudices and snobbery was fun. I enjoyed his critical judgements about which books he would carry and which he would not and also his preference for a well-written short-story collection. AJ was an interesting character. But this story was a tad too melodramatic and depressing for me. I don't love Zevin's writing style. Some found this book heartwarming and huggable. Not me. I felt that it was bleak and a bit reserved. There was always a distance between me and the characters. I cared but not quite enough. Police Chief Lambaise was my favorite character and his cop book club was an unexpected highlight.

If you enjoy a swing up (ish) book or a book about books; you will probably enjoy this novel. For me it just wasn't the cozy heartwarming read that I was hoping for.

My Rating: Okay


10.) The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus by L. Frank Baum.




My Christmas reading has begun! I had no idea that this amusing little volume existed.

From Goodreads:

Every child knows about Santa Claus, the jolly man who brings gifts to all on Christmas. There are many stories that tell of his life, but the delightful version relayed in The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus is by far the most charming and original of all. Only L. Frank Baum, the man who created the wonderful land of Oz, could have told Santa's tale in such rich and imaginative detail.

L. Frank Baum of the Wizard of Oz fame wrote about the life and legend of Santa Claus and I loved it! I enjoyed reading that Santa Claus was once a foundling who was adopted by a wood nymph and raised in a magical forest and protected by immortal beings like Sprites, Nymphs, and Fairies. I loved the idea of Santa as a child of the forest being watched over by the Master Woodsman, the Great Ack.

This classic story is set in the forest rather than at the North Pole. Santa lived in harmony with nature and the mystical beings of the forest. He knew the language of animals. He never harmed a living creature be it flora or fauna. As he grows and enters the World of Man his reaction to human suffering and the disparities between rich and poor cause him to become a champion of children. He wants to bring joy to them. He does this by making and giving away toys and sharing his love with the world.

Nickclaus, as he is called, is more than just jolly old Santa Claus. Baum has given him a rich depth and history. The meaning behind Santa's magic...reindeer, stockings, Christmas trees, are addressed as is how Santa became immortal. There is even a big battle between good and evil. Baum's origin story is a bit different from the traditional legend of Santa Claus but no less delightful. I was enchanted by this Christmas classic.

"Yet every man has his mission, which is to leave the world better, in some way, than he found it."

My Rating: I loved it!


11.) Boldly, Nobly, and Independent: 1893-1955 Saints #3



From Goodreads:

After decades of opposition, the Latter-day Saints have dedicated the Salt Lake Temple, a mighty symbol of their industry and faith. Now, with a new century on the horizon, the Saints are optimistic about the future and ready to spread the Savior’s message of peace across the globe.

This was definitely a slow but steady read for me. I dipped in and out of it. It is an interesting and lesser known history of the church. Post pioneers crossing the plains and post polygamy. The LDS church has now become a global church. It was charting a new course and addressing the challenges that came with it. 

The history is told through many members and converts to the church. Their stories of faith, dedication, sacrifice, and perseverance were told via personal vignettes. The part that I found the most interesting was the section about WWII and particularly about the saints who were living in Europe and especially in Germany at that time. Members who were trying to hold church services while living in Nazi Germany. Members who were Nazi resistors and attempting to avoiding the secret police. Some lost their lives in the attempt. The story of Helmuth Huebener, a young German who was sentenced to death during the Nazi regime for opposing the party was heartbreaking. It was interesting to realize that there were members of the church on both sides during WWII and to read their stories.

I also thought that the section about the influenza pandemic of 1918 and its effects on the world and church members was especially compelling in light of the COVID-19 pandemic. I loved the mentions of past general authorities and prophets that I respect and love referenced. People like Elder Neil A. Maxwell, President Ezra Taft Benson, and President Gordon B. Hinckley. I was happy to see that there was much more of an emphasis on women and their influence and contribution to the church and its history in this volume. Hooray!

I also appreciated that tough subjects weren't avoided in this history. Comfortable and uncomfortable topics were discussed with honesty and transparency. There were times that I cringed while reading.

The biggest downside was that the story bounced around A LOT and followed the lives of so many people. I often lost track of whose story I was following. There were so many people and so many stories. That got frustrating.

I learned so much and I appreciated the tremendous amount of time and dedication that went into researching and writing this volume of history. 

My Rating: Compelling and informative.


12.) Letters From Father Christmas by J.R.R. Tolkien


You had me at Tolkien. This was recommended to me on Goodreads after I read The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus by L. Frank Baum. Thus my Christmas reading continued.

From Goodreads:

Can you imagine writing to Father Christmas and actually getting a reply? For more than twenty years, the children of J.R.R. Tolkien received letters from the North Pole - from Father Christmas himself! They told wonderful stories of mischief and disaster, adventures, and battles: how the reindeer got loose and scattered presents all over the place, how the accident-prone Polar Bear climbed the North Pole and fell through the roof of Father Christmas's house, and many others.

How could J.R.R. Tolkien writing letters to his children each year from the perspective of Father Christmas be bad? Of course it wasn't bad. It was magical! So much thought and effort went into creating this world and history of Santa, the North Pole, and his friends and neighbors, and their yearly adventures in great detail. In these letters, Santa and his best friend and helper the North Polar Bear would write to the Tolkien children and fill them in on what had happened to them over the last year.

The letters span over 20 years starting in the 1920s and ending in the 1940s and reference not only the happenings in the family but also in the world at large including WWII.

“If you find that not many of the things you asked for have come, and not perhaps quite so many as sometimes, remember that this Christmas all over the world there are a terrible number of poor and starving people.”

The last letter to his youngest child on her last year of believing in Santa was so touching and sweet. 

My dear Priscilla,
A very happy Christmas! I suppose you will be hanging up your stocking just once more: I hope so for I have still a few things for you. After this I shall have to say "goodbye", more or less: I mean, I shall not forget you. We always keep the old numbers of our old friends, and their letters; and later on we hope to come back when they are grown up and have houses of their own and children.

I loved this book from start to finish. This is a wonderful book full of the Christmas Spirit and the love of a father for his children.

My Rating: Excellent!


13.) A Quilt for Christmas by Sandra Dallas


I read this book over Thanksgiving vacation. It's my second Sandra Dallas novel. I previously read Prayers for Sale for book club several years ago and liked it. I was looking for a historical fiction Christmas book rather than the typical Christmas rom-com.

From Goodreads:

It is 1864 and Eliza Spooner's husband Will has joined the Kansas volunteers to fight the Confederates, leaving her with their two children and in charge of their home and land. Eliza is confident that he will return home, and she helps pass the months making a special quilt to keep Will warm during his winter in the army. When the unthinkable happens, she takes in a woman and child who have been left alone and made vulnerable by the war, and she finds solace and camaraderie amongst the women of her quilting group. And when she is asked to help hide an escaped slave, she must decide for herself what is right, and who can she can count on to help her.

Set during the end of the Civil War; it tells the story of a woman whose husband is gone fighting the Confederacy while she is left at home to manage the farm and care for their children. It was nice to read a historical fiction novel not set in WWII. This time period was interesting. I'm also not usually drawn to books about quilting and there is a lot of quilting in the book just like in the other Sandra Dallas novel I read but it was an interesting and integral part of the story.

While not a particularly *Christmas-y* book it was interesting enough and made the miles go by quickly while traveling. I liked the themes of friendship, community, and forgiveness of enemies. Dallas did a good job of describing some of the consequences of wartime. It also left me really wanting to make some divinity candy. LOL.

My Rating: Perfect book to recommend to my mother-in-law. Enough said. :)


14.) Home For Christmas by Maddie James



This was a free Kindle book. Usually you get what you pay for but it looked cute so I took a chance.

From Goodreads:

During the summer of 1989, Jenny Anderson meets Ben Matthews during a beach vacation with their families. Fresh out of high school and ready to get on with life—Jenny to Penn State in the fall and Ben to work for his uncle at Dickens Hardware—they didn’t expect to fall in love.
But love-at-first-sight happens anyway. This long-distance relationship doesn’t deter them. After a summer of love letters and clandestine trips in the fall, Ben asks Jenny’s father for her hand in marriage over Thanksgiving weekend. Much to Jenny’s horror, her father angrily denies his request. That’s when Ben and Jenny devise a plan to elope, enjoy a Christmas honeymoon in the mountains, and settle into life in Dickens, the Christmas Village. Jenny hopes her parents will come around, finally give their blessing, and welcome Ben into the family. But plans go awry when Ben’s truck breaks down not far out of Dickens. The young couple takes refuge from a fast-approaching snowstorm at an old farmhouse with elderly occupants. The pause in their getaway causes Jenny to have doubts—until she witnesses first-hand the power of love and the magic of Christmas.

The verdict: I didn't hate it. I guess I got my money's worth. LOL. It's a sweet story of first love. It is weirdly set in 1989 so the characters were just a few years older than I was at that time. They felt so YOUNG to be running off together. Now I have kids this age and the actions of the characters and the decisions that they were making still felt like Ben and Jenny were much TOO YOUNG. But putting that aside...the story is simple. It's sweet. There isn't much more to it than that. 

My Rating: Okay