June was a bloody NIGHTMARE! Let's just say that things did NOT improve in June but in fact got much worse. I normally LOVE June. It is my birthday month and favorite month. This year it did me dirty.
On literally the second day of June, I walked out my back door to bring Beverly inside because the lawn guys were on their way. She, being the stubborn dog that she is, was sunbathing and couldn't be bothered to come inside. I walked out my back door as I have one BILLION times before and somehow tripped over a rain gutter pipe/spout and face planted super hard. Having broken both wrists before I knew not to put my arms down to catch my fall. Boy I wish I did. This time my upper arm/shoulder took the ground full force. I felt my shoulder distend. I thought that I had dislocated my shoulder. It was absolute agony trying to get up without using my arms. One was useless and the other one was clutching it in place. Beverly was freaking out. I didn't have my phone on me and had even just taken off my Apple watch because I was going to hop in the shower. Somehow by the grace of God...I got up and got inside. I still had to go upstairs to get my phone all the while holding my dangling shoulder in place. It felt like a red hot poker was stabbing it. I got my phone and called Tyler and told him that he needed to come home ASAP. It was around noon at the time. It took him about 20 minutes to get home and I literally thought I was going to die (or at least pass out from the pain). I couldn't sit or lie down. I could only lean against the end of the couch. It was HORRIBLE. I was also covered in dirt from my fall in the yard and couldn't do anything about it.
When Tyler got home he drove me to the Urgent Care while I tried not to pass out on the way. When we got there Tyler ran in and got me registered. They initially told him that it might be a half hour wait. When I walked in and they saw the state that I was in...they got me in immediately. Our friend Josh is a doctor there and I did not want to see him (or rather have him see me) in this disgusting dirty state. I literally left a path of dirt wherever I went like Pigpen from Charlie Brown. Of course Josh was the one there! LOL. After getting an x-ray we found out that... no I did not have a dislocated shoulder... I had a spiral fracture of the humerus bone aka I broke my upper arm in three places...and I basically set my bone myself by clutching it together as hard as I could for about an hour because thankfully the bones were aligned. I have never felt anything so painful in all my life. It was a 10/10.
While there a nurse and Tyler had gotten me into a hospital gown but there was no way to get it off without causing me severe pain. I got to walk out of there in that stupid gown and a sling. I was given a prescription for pain pills and told to call an orthopedic surgeon immediately. Tyler called from the parking lot of the urgent care and left a message. It was over 48 hours before they called back. Meanwhile I walked into my house, in front of neighbors who were outside, in that hospital gown and the pain that I was feeling was so severe that I didn't even care. The pain pills did nothing. I was still at a 10/10. I could not get comfortable in any position. I could feel the bones in my arm slipping and sliding with every movement. It was horrible. I spent all of that day and night crying.
Tyler worked from home the next day and called Josh to say that the pain pills weren't doing anything and that we still hadn't heard back from the Orthopedic surgeon. Josh told me to double the amount that I was taking with each dose and that if we didn't hear back from the doctor's office by the next day to call him. By doubling the amount of pain meds it got my pain to a ragged 8/10 but that was better than nothing. Tyler worked from home the next day too. It was a blur and I was barely functioning. I could sit in a recliner and try not to move and that was how I survived.
The next day was my 53rd birthday and it sucked the big one! It was not for the lack of effort of family and friends. I really appreciated all the kindness that was shown to me. So many phone calls and texts. Tyler was still working from home. He and Bryn got me birthday cake from our favorite Huckleberry's bakery. Ailey and Luke had Crumbl cookies delivered. Kameron, Erin, Ailey, Luke, and Bryn all chipped in for an awesome Stanley Backpack cooler that I wanted for bike rides, paddle boarding, etc. Reilly, Hunter, and Karson came to see me and brought French pastries. Tyler got me tickets to John Crist who is coming to town again this fall. All so nice and so thoughtful! Tyler picked up sushi for all of us for dinner that night. But the VERY best news was that Ailey bought plane tickets to come home and help out. I was completely immobilized with my arm and Tyler had to go back to work and Bryn didn't have her drivers license yet. I was so stressed out. I sobbed when she told me that she had purchased a plane ticket and would be there soon!! We finally heard back from the orthopedic surgeon and by the time that I could get in to see them it would be over a week from my break. I wanted to die.
The next day I had planned to go to brunch with Tyler and the girls at a fun new place that I had gone to for Shannon's birthday. I knew my family would love it. I DID NOT want to cancel even though I had no idea how I was going to get there. I couldn't do anything...just getting into a fresh nightgown had me sobbing it hurt so bad. Apparently breaking your humerus bone is one of the most painful things that you can do. Tyler and Bryn got me dressed very carefully and very painfully. Bryn pulled my hair back into a pony tail. We drove to CDA and every bump was excruciating. We met Reilly there. Like I suspected they loved the place and the food was so good. It was a nice distraction.
I'm smiling in these pictures but my pain was at a searing 8/10 when sitting still and 10/10 whenever I had to move. I've never felt anything like it and I've broken both lower arms and my foot. Nothing I've ever experienced...even natural childbirth with Reilly...was this bad.
I appreciated all the work that they went to give me some kind of birthday celebration!
The next day Ailey arrived and it was so nice and helpful to have her here. She could work from home and had some space in between calls and her work so she was a great distraction and kept me laughing and entertained. She could also help get Bryn to and from school and to all of the places that she needed to go. Ailey was a great mood boost for all of us. She made a grocery list and menu for the week. She made me my favorite Spring Rolls. Meanwhile all kinds of people were bringing things by and wanting to help. I was in such pain and looked so bad...I only let in my friends Shannon and Steph. Steph is a nurse and immediately got my pain meds schedule better figured out which was so helpful. I started sobbing at the sight of them. I've never been so overwhelmed and emotional and unable to reign it in... it was so embarrassing...but they were so awesome and I am so grateful to have friends like them in my life. Reilly, Hunter, and Karson came over a lot and that made a big difference too.
Ailey washed my hair and helped make me somewhat presentable.
Finally a week after my fall I was able to get in to see the orthopedic surgeon. I knew my summer was effed...which made me hysterical...but I also didn't want to have surgery and go through all that after barely healing from my last surgery. My entire year thus far has been crappy things and recovering. I was so depressed. Seriously. It was awful. I've never felt like I was drowning and suffocating in a dark hole like that before. It was scary.
Getting dressed and getting to my appointment was agony. I keep saying it but nothing has ever hurt so much in my life. Thankfully the bone was still aligned and not looking like I would need surgery. I was to stay in the sling for another week with the bone slipping and sliding around. It makes me sick to think of it even now...it was a horrible feeling. I got a pain meds refill and that took my pain to a 8/10.
The back of my arm.
While Ailey was here she tried to get me out of the house and distracted and she got me ready so that I could leave the house. Bryn was the best person to help get me dressed and to maneuver my arm gently in and out of clothes. She should go into the medical profession. I followed the girls around as they did some shopping and were out and about. It did feel good to get out of the house.
We had a lot of laughs and late night talks. It was good for Brynnie to have Ailey home too. She got us glammed. She did our nails and even did mine with my bum arm. My nails were in a terrible state before she got here!
While Ailey was here all of the grad parties that we had been invited to were going on. I was so sad to miss them. Thankfully between Tyler, Bryn, and Ailey they got to nearly all of them. Bryn had her end of the year Awards Concert and I missed that too. Thankfully it was live streamed so I could still watch her perform.
Bryn also had her track banquet and finished her track season and career on a high note. She also finished her driving school classes and passed the written test. She then took the driving portion of the test and passed only to find out that she couldn't get her license for several more weeks. In WA State you have to have a Learner's Permit for 6 months before you can get your license and somehow we forgot all of that. We thought she was closer to her 6 months than she was. That was defeating for all of us since this kid needed to get herself to all kinds of things including work. We REALLY needed her to drive! Even if I was off of the pain meds my arm did not have the range of motion to allow me to drive.
One night that Ailey was here we went to see the new office that was just built for the company that Reilly works for...it was super nice and she has a beautiful new office. We also took Ailey on a little shopping spree while she was in town for her upcoming birthday.
Tyler and Bryn...and Ailey while in town...kept my booth at the store looking good. My business thankfully kept afloat despite not bringing in anything new for about 8 weeks.
Bryn had her last day of school. She is now officially a Junior and had her move up ceremony. She got her yearbook and she was all over in that thing! She is our most-involved-in-high-school kid. She celebrated school ending with her friends at a pool party and a bonfire night.
Eventually it was time for Ailey to go home. That was a rough time. Lots of tears on all of our parts. She was such a breath of fresh air and took care of all of us and kept me looking presentable. She was like the cavalry to Bryn when she arrived. I know that my injury was scary and hard on Bryn. She felt much better when Ailey was here. But Ailey got us over the hump and through the worst of it. I am so grateful for her taking time away from her own life and husband to come home and help out. The day she left our stupid suburban broke down with a very expensive repair in the thousands... June was not a pleasant month!!
Then it was Father's Day. I felt so bad not being able to do much for Tyler. He did his own shopping for his Father's Day. Sad. Father's Day was definitely a more subdued one. Reilly, Hunter, and Karson came over. They gave Tyler's his Father's Day gifts and we were able to give Hunter his gift. They were definitely the brightest part of the day. It's always good to see Karson and he always brings joy! Tyler had donuts and gifts from the kids. Everyone called and facetimed with him. We stayed home from church. It is too hard to get ready and too hard for me to sit that long. Tyler grilled up his own meal and Bryn made him his favorite pasta salad and we had ice cream sandwiches for dessert. To celebrate his special day...LOL... I was able to take my first shower since my fall. I know! I've been disgusting. Thanks to a shower chair (buy one of those if you want to feel old) and a water proof sling...Tyler was able to help me shower and to *somewhat* shave my legs. I'm sure he was living his best Father's Day life! Poor guy.
With school finally out for the summer...Bryn started lifeguarding again. We figured out how to get her to work every day. By that time I was able to be left at home by myself during the day. The days were long boring blurs of doing nothing. I couldn't concentrate to read or to watch TV. I just doom scrolled myself into a deep depression.
Two and a half weeks after my fall I had my second ortho appointment. I was stressed again hoping that my bone was still aligned and wouldn't need surgery. I could still feel it moving and I was panicked going in for the x-ray. Thankfully it was still aligned. My pain was still at around an 8/10 and sleep was still pretty impossible. This time I got moved out of the sling (hallelujah) and moved into a Sarmiento brace. I was warned that these were painful but honestly it felt so much better having my arm in that than in a sling. It kept the bone from moving and kept it compressed. That took my pain level from an 8/10 to a 6/10.
My arm still hurt like crazy but I felt like I could go places now and not worry about people bumping me. I could go on walks again. It just made me feel more secure and protected. I was still on pain meds and I finally felt like they were at least taking a bit more than just the edge off of my pain.
Reilly and Hunter found a nice new apartment to rent. Yay! It is in such a nice complex with a really nice feel to it. They are getting excited to move. So long annoying land lady/relative who hates children. Speaking of children...Reilly's pregnancy is going well. The twins are thriving! So grateful!
The Summer Solstice came around. Half a year is gone. I feel like I have missed out on most of it. From having my hysterectomy and that long recuperation to now this and its months long recuperation. Missing out on summer was a stab in the heart. I was feeling so low. We burned things that I was going to say "goodbye" to! I am ready for some better energy coming our way.
On a MUCH happier note... Ailey turned 21!! She celebrated with Luke, Kameron, and Erin. They all went out for breakfast at Tru Religion and then went to Park City. They rode the Mountain Coaster and the lift.
They shopped at the outlets, got ice cream, and ate at Texas Roadhouse. Then they went back home to swim and to eat Ailey's birthday Dirt and Worms. I'm glad that she had such a fun day!
We also got Ailey and Luke's wedding pictures back and they turned out fantastic! I love them! Luke started working a new job. He now works for my brother. It's been great for him to get a well paying job and he gets a company truck to drive. I appreciate my brother watching out for my family. Kameron and Erin are doing well. Erin is booking a lot of photography shoots and doing such a great job with that!
Mid-month Bryn got named "Guard of the Week" at work and is LOVING her job! She works with some really fun people and she is so happy to be back for a second summer.
Then she left for a week of Girls Camp. It was hard to see her go. She has been so helpful and does so much for me...including my hair...it is terrible to not be able to put your own hair in even a ponytail by yourself. Let alone try to do anything else. I hate being so needy and dependent on her. But I was excited for her to get to be a YCL and to have a break from a pretty gloomy house this summer.
She had a great time! Here are a few pictures from her Girls Camp adventures:
While Bryn was at Girls Camp I had another ortho appointment and x-ray. My bone was still aligned and looking good...although no new growth had begun. I guess that takes about 8 weeks to start. But I was glad that I am still avoiding surgery. Every time I go it could still be an option. It depends on how the bone looks on x-ray. It gives me major anxiety.
I've had so many people bring dinners and stop by with all kinds of treats and send flowers. I really appreciated it! My friend Norma sent Tyler and Ailey home from one of the graduation parties with such a gargantuan plate of Filipino food that I ate for days and was in heaven. She is an amazing cook! Hunter's parents came over and brought us dinner. They gave us so much food that it fed us for days. It was fun to visit with them. My little girls from YW came over with freezer meals and hot chocolate chip cookies. So sweet! I was so grateful but also so sick of being in this position AGAIN and so soon after the last time. By the end of the month I was able to dress myself and that felt HUGE! I felt slightly more human. If only I could do my own hair but I am so grateful for every little milestone.
Tyler and I finally went on a modified date night. I am trying to get out of the house more and in small doses. We got food to go and did a tiny walk on the ridge and sat on a bench looking at the view. I am going crazy being stuck at home and having to slow down my life just when I was starting to get it back. Sunshine and being outside definitely helps.
Tyler has been awesome doing all of the gardening. I usually do all the flowers and he does the vegetable garden and Bryn mows and weed wacks. I appreciated him tending to all of my flowers!
Tyler did a sleep study from home this month that was pretty intensive. He also got another eyeball shot. He had an appointment with his endocrinologist and Ozempic has finally been approved for Type 1 diabetics. His doctor had him start on it. That should be interesting and should definitely help with his A1C. Reilly had the anatomy scan on the twins and they are now 24 weeks and doing well. That was exciting and such good news! I had to reschedule my procedures for the urology scans because I cannot lie in the positions that I would need to for the procedures. That was super depressing because I was still having UTI symptoms on and off. Now I will have to schedule those scans several months out.
Ailey, Luke, Kameron, and Erin all went up to Kirk and Meki's cabin for the weekend and had fun together. Meki sent me this picture of Ailey's fish! I am glad that they have Kirk nearby! Tyler and I are contemplating a little road trip to Oregon. I am going crazy just sitting around and missing out on all my favorite summer activities. We may go and see Tyler's mom and sister for a weekend. I can sit around at their house. LOL. I need a change of scenery.
By the end of the month I was really struggling... hence Tyler suggesting a road trip. It has been awful to be back in the role of having to take it easy and put life and activities on hold again especially so quickly after I had just done the exact same thing for 4 months prior. The constant pain took a toll and the three weeks on hydrocodone made me alarmingly depressed. Scary depressed. I also made the mistake of weighing myself...BIG MISTAKE...HUGE. I am in the throws of menopause...I haven't been able to work out due to recovering from surgeries/injuries for basically 6 months...I am the largest I have EVER been. Even more depressing. I am so tired and have no energy...mentally or physically. Not going to lie...this month has been TERRIBLE! By the end of the month I could shower by myself... that felt momentous. I still needed help blowing my hair dry but I will take my small victories as they come.
Here's to a much better month ahead!!!
