November 2017

November 

I am finally working my way up to December. How is it already December? November was a blur. A hazy blur of tears, worry, stress, joy, relief, and gratitude. Kameron and Reilly had birthdays somewhere in there too. Days just passed by in a fog. One day it was Halloween the next day it was Thanksgiving and now it's nearly Christmas. That is how November went.

Tyler was told by his neurosurgeon to take a full week off of work to recuperate which he did. He slept most of that first week home. It was a weird week. We just didn't know what to expect. It was still very scary and uncertain. He had quite of bit of head and neck pain. Some days were better than others. While Tyler slept and the kids resumed their normal life; I worked. I organized the house and purged tons of stuff to be donated. I raked so many bags of leaves and winterized the yard and deck. I organized the garage. I worked on Sisters Creed projects. I just had to stay busy. All I did was worry and I couldn't just sit still or I would drown in it. I also did a lot of secret crying. We didn't know what the future would look like. Would Tyler be able to go back to work? Would he have chronic pain? Would he need to go on disability? Tyler didn't feel great with his head pain, constant ringing in his ears, and severe hearing loss in one ear. He was exhausted and dizzy and the anti-seizure medication he was on for the week made him feel horrible. It was a very scary and uncertain time.

Also, he had no PTO at work so he was freaking out that he was going to have to go a week or more without pay. Normally he has a TON of PTO and barely uses it up each year but this year was different. He took off a lot of time this summer with vacation and working at the lake and he had nothing left...maybe a day and a half. His boss is old school and doesn't grasp "working from home" and denied him that option. Lucky for us, his co-workers donated more PTO to him than we could possibly use. We were both in tears when he got that call from HR. People really are inherently good and Tyler is very beloved at his office. HR said they were having to turn people away who just said "Take it all...give Tyler everything" because they already had so much time donated to him. What? It brings tears to my eyes even now. I can't get over the generosity of people. We were loved on and supported by our ward and friends. Food, visits, texts, calls, prayers, blessings, carpools... so many times I just sat there and sobbed due to the incredible kindness and thoughtfulness of others.

We tried to somewhat get back into our normal routine as far as the kids were concerned. It helped. That first week Reilly turned 21 years old. How is our little Rei-Pie twenty-one? That girl spent most of that first week grocery shopping for me and running errands. I was terrified to leave Tyler alone especially that first week. She also cooked us some amazing meals, ran kids around, and tried to make us laugh as much as possible all while working full-time herself. She spent many nights at our house helping out. We managed to squeeze in a little birthday celebration for her.

She is such an amazing daughter!!

Kameron had a Veterans Day concert downtown. This is a yearly concert that I absolutely love. It is a gift to our local veterans. It is always emotional for me to see the veterans recognized, appreciated, and thanked. I love the patriotic music and I love being reminded of how blessed we are to live in this wonderful country and how appreciative I am for those who serve and sacrifice for all of us. It always makes me so proud to be an American.

They did such a great job!

Tyler wasn't able to come as he still wasn't feeling great so I went with Ailey and Bryn. It was nice to have a distraction although I spent most of my time worrying about him. This was also one of our first outings after all that had gone on with Tyler.  People were so kind and loving and everyone wanted to know how Tyler was doing and I spent most of the evening in tears. Ugh... It was such an emotional time. Kameron's best friend, Jonathan, is such a great kid and so are his parents and they have become such sweet friends of ours. Kam and JB (as we call him) have been best friends since first grade. Jonathan's mom, Susie, is one of the most amazingly loving people I know and her friendship is so appreciated. Are there better friends than those who will cry with you in public in the middle of a large auditorium about how scary life can be? I don't think so. Sometimes I don't know what is worse... being in the actual situation i.e. in the hospital with all that was going on or the week following it all and thinking about all that could have happened. My emotions were super raw and nothing sent me into a flood of tears faster than kind and loving friends. I love that Susie!! She is such a great example of friendship to me.

Two days after Reilly's birthday... Kameron turned seventeen. The rate at which our children are growing up seems like warp speed. Seventeen already. I love that boy so much!! Time needs to slow down.

I did manage to run over to the high school and brought him his traditional birthday fast food lunch of Taco Bell and a slushy. He was very appreciative! Ha ha.

The second week after Tyler got out of the hospital he went back to work for half days. He would go into work early and come home around 1pm. Once he got home he would take a long nap and then he would usually be doing much better by late afternoon and evening. We binged watched A LOT of TV shows as a family and watched a lot of movies. Friends brought dinners to us and took great care of us.  I really found out who was truly invested in our family. It was so obvious by visits, calls, texts, gifts in the mail etc. Invest in people who invest in you. I was so touched by all of those who showered us with such love and yes, it made the people who didn't...who I thought would have...stand in stark contrast. One of the biggest lessons that I have learned is how to love and serve people better. How to be a better friend. How to SHOW UP for people. Go to the hospital. Show up at their house. BE THERE physically for people. These are isolating and scary times. Friends and loved ones need you. In person!! Be a pleasant distraction and then show up again week two and week three however long it takes. These are lessons that I certainly will never forget.

I went to the gym a lot and on a bunch of walks. I needed it so badly to try to deal with all of the stress. I barely ate anything for weeks. Tyler and I both got more gray hair. I previously had very little gray...like maybe two or three strands...but I definitely grew more and so did Ty. Ailey even plucked a pure white hair out of her head. No doubt from stress and worry. I hate the toll that the stress took on all of the kids. One day at school Bryn was called down to the office by accident and was told to bring all of her things and that she was being picked up by a family member. The poor girl was in tears and absolutely terrified thinking that something had happened to Tyler. I hate that. Reilly and Kameron shouldered a lot of the stress and took on a lot of our parenting duties. They took such great care of their little sisters and did so much to keep them from being scared and worried.

Tyler and I couldn't ask for better kids... kids who love, support, serve, and strengthen one another and their parents too. Best. Kids. Ever. They are spectacular human beings. It is a blessing to know that they will be there for one another and take care of one another long after Tyler and I are gone.

Spokane is Reading:

Every year Tyler and I participate in our town's Spokane Is Reading event. We read the book that is picked for the year and then we attend the event where the author is speaking. We look forward to this all year long!! It is always such a great night and so fascinating. This year the book was Wiley Cash's A Land More Kind Than Home. Tyler read it first and loved it. It is a southern Gothic novel about a murder in a small North Carolina town. Ty loves books like this and having the setting be North Carolina where he lived for two years while he served an LDS mission was icing on the cake. I loved the book too. I didn't know if Tyler would feel up to heading downtown and attending this event but he did. It was his first foray back out into the world. It was a fantastic night!

Waiting for the event to start. This is an official pic from the event. Tyler is in the purple oxford shirt and I am right next to him.

Wiley Cash is a phenomenal speaker. If you ever get the opportunity to hear him speak or do a reading go to it!! He is hilarious, charismatic, and charming. It was so intriguing to learn about how he came to be a writer, got published, how he got the idea for the book, the setting, and the characters. It was so great!! We could have listened to him speak for hours. I always especially love the Q and A at the end with the audience. He was so funny. Tyler and I were laughing so hard.  (Much needed!!) Afterward we even went out for...you guessed it...passion fruit greek yogurt. A true date night. :)

In between doctor appointments... one night Tyler felt well enough to wander the mall with us for a bit while Kam picked out his birthday gifts. Kameron is hilarious. I'll let my insta story do the talking.

Best combo ever!!

This particular mall now has a carousel in it! Brynnie was excited to give it a whirl!! It was so nice to be out of the house and be distracted and doing something as simple as roaming the mall, drinking a smoothie, eating a pretzel, and sitting in a massage chair. It felt like heaven.

(The carousel reminded Tyler and I of when we used to live in SLC. When Reilly was little...like around 3 and 4...Her favorite daddy/daughter date was when Tyler would take her to the South Towne Mall and would let her ride the carousel a few times and eat fries from the food court. This was their special thing. It was a super cheap outing which was good because we were poor and Reilly absolutely loved it and thought that it was the best thing ever!! She still talks about it. How is she already 21 years old?)

Great friends:

I have some amazing friends who let me talk and vent and cry. I met this sweet one for breakfast which turned into a five hour *therapy* session. This is just one of the many dear friends of mine who have loved and supported our family through out all of this. They've come over day after day and cried in my kitchen with me and taken me out for lunch and breakfast and all sorts of things. I am so grateful for good friends.

On the third week of November Tyler went back to work full time. By this point he was doing quite well. He was off of the anti-seizure medication and feeling so much better. His pain was much less. He had only been taking Tylenol since getting out of the hospital. The ringing in his ears had stopped and his hearing was returning to normal. He had more energy and stamina.  He also had a great follow up visit with his neurosurgeon. This was the first week that things were starting to feel a tiny bit more normal. Like we were moving out of survival mode. Thanksgiving was coming and we were looking forward to it.

The weekend before Thanksgiving we managed to finally celebrate Reilly and Kameron's birthdays properly. We had a big family birthday feast and went to the movies and celebrated the heck out of those two kids.

We divided and conquered at the movies. Tyler, Reilly, and Kameron went to see Thor Ragnarok which they loved!!

Ailey, Bryn, and I went to see Wonder which we absolutely adored!! Our movies got out at around nearly the same time which was great! We met up afterward, ate, did a little shopping, and even saw Santa and his reindeer.

We topped off Reilly and Kam's birthday celebration with their requested cherry pies instead of birthday cake. These two kids pick pie every single year!! Reilly doesn't like cake. Who doesn't like cake??

Then it was Thanksgiving! A few years ago we decided that we wanted to do our own thing for Thanksgiving maybe every other year. Tyler's family doesn't gather on Thanksgiving so we don't have to worry about that but mine does. Sometimes especially as our kids are getting older and heading out on their own we just want to do our thing and have our traditions and celebrate our way. I mean I enjoy getting together with my extended family... we will be doing that on Christmas day... but sometimes we just want it to be us. We had made the decision to do that prior to Tyler's health crisis. I am SO GLAD that we did. It was just what we needed. A peaceful, enjoyable, drama-free, stress-free, talking-about-Tyler's-health-free, cooking-free year!! We went to the Davenport Hotel for their lavish and extravagant Thanksgiving Buffet and it was FABULOUS!! We seriously loved it so much! My kids are vegetarian so they don't eat turkey and they aren't big fans of stuffing and squash/sweet potatoes and many of the usual Thanksgiving sides anyway so it wasn't like we felt bereft by not having turkey leftovers. Not at all. We ate all the things that we loved and then some. Hello crab and seafood! The food was absolutely divine and the environment was lush and extravagant. We felt pampered and fancy. It was amazing and the kids were in absolute heaven!! It was the perfect Thanksgiving for us this year.

Our Thanksgiving Day was so relaxing. We slept in. We had a special breakfast. We watched the Macey's Day Parade and the Dog Show which we love. Kam put the Christmas lights on the house and got out all of our Christmas bins to decorate with later. We leisurely got ready and headed downtown to the Davenport at around 4:30 pm. We like to eat later on Thanksgiving so we kept that tradition. We walked into that gorgeous hotel and felt festive and excited.

The ballroom was grand and gorgeous. Our kids have been out to fancy brunches and to fancy restaurants but this one was extra special especially all decked for Thanksgiving. Seafood stations, carving stations, dessert stations with more desserts than I have ever seen in my life. Every kind of pie, cake, tarte, and other desserts. My favorite was the marzipan cake. Amazing. The kids were excited about the two enormous chocolate fountains...milk and dark chocolate...that were taller than Kameron. There were the most beautiful appetizers and canapes. The sides were spectacular and there was even an en flambe station. They also had a gorgeous cheese and charcuterie station. It was pretty spectacular. We even ended up with a fairly private table in the corner of the ballroom so that we could really talk. We had a great conversation about all that we were thankful for in between eating all the things.

It just felt so nice to be waited on and to have everything taken care of. I don't think I could've gotten through a big family Thanksgiving or a friends Thanksgiving and having to rehash everything that we had been going through. We were so tired of it all. I also had exactly zero energy to cook a big feast myself. We just wanted to enjoy ourselves and to feel normal for a few hours. We did and we enjoyed ourselves immensely!

We toasted one another with sparkling drinks and laughed and delighted in being all together!!

We were there later in the day so we were able to eat a truly leisurely meal and could really relax and enjoy ourselves. Our every whim and want was taken care of. It was wonderful!!

Afterward we walked around downtown for a bit and Bryn wanted her picture taken in front of her favorite smoke stacks which happened to be her favorite color right then.

Just pretend those garbage cans aren't right there! ;)

Then it was home for a Stranger Things marathon and we played games until late into the night. It was awesome!!! It was one of our very best Thanksgivings for sure!!

Our Thankful Tree was loaded with so many things that we were thankful for this year!

We had the BEST Thanksgiving weekend as a family. Black Friday we stayed in our pajamas and watched movies and more Stranger Things, played more games, and started decorating for Christmas. I was also finishing up projects for a Christmas show that I had coming up. On Saturday Tyler was feeling great so we did our usual marathon Christmas shopping day and knocked out 98% of our Christmas shopping. Love it!! Sunday we all went to church together for the first time since Tyler was hospitalized. It was fantastic!!

We have all been so looking forward to December and that wonderful month of love and lights and the spirit of Christmas which is the spirit of Christ. We can't wait to love and serve others this month and to try to give back even just a little bit of all that we were given in October and November. It's time to LIGHT THE WORLD!!