springdellgirl

My Lame Injury (and My Psychotic Break)


The day after Christmas was a beautiful day. My family, my Mom, Ken, Kelley and Elle headed to the lake to spend the day with my Grandma, my Aunt Marji and Uncle Dennis, some cousins, my Uncle Steve and Aunt Margaret, my Uncle John and Aunt Ade, and Stacey and her kids.

The weather was gorgeous; the lake was frozen; the ice skates were out; and a pot of chili was bubbling on the stove. Perfection. Reilly and Kameron were out on the ice all day having a great time skating and pushing each other in the Norwegian sled (which may or may not actually be Norwegian but that is what we call it) with their Birch cousins.

Even my blind grandma was bundled up earlier in the day and taken for a ride on the sled by my Aunt and Uncle and had the time of her life.

After lunch everyone hit the ice again. Across the lake, next to the cliffs, were some neat ice formations we all went to see and some perfect ice for skating...completely smooth. Everyone headed across the lake...even the little guys. Ailey, Dane, and River all got pulled in sleds. Bryn even rode in her own little sled and napped.

I pulled a sled across the lake and then put on my skates...the same ones I got for Christmas in 6th grade to ice skate on the pond in Springdell. Now it had been a few years since I skated due to crappy ice on the lake and pregnancy etc. so I was very out of practice but excited to skate.

I started out very slow but as the day progressed I felt like I was getting my ice skating mojo going and was feeling ever-so-springdellgirl-like. The day was so much fun that Tyler and I looked at each other and our kids having a ball in a gorgeous setting and said our oft-quoted comment of "And this is why we live here!!" Sometimes during cold gray winters we need reminders of why we moved up North and aren't in the warm sunny South.

Bryn went for a ride with me on the Norwegian sled and loved it!! I went for a wild ride pushed by Reilly.


Tyler and I watched my Aunt Marji and Uncle Dennis pairs skating around the lake and said "We want to be like that when we grow up" (I actually think we said "older") tomato/tamato right?
So you're getting that the day was idyllic right? Just as the sun was heading down behind the cliffs we decided to go back to our side of the lake. I had the BRILLIANT idea that instead of putting my boots back on and walking across the lake I would skate back...now that I was getting in the ice skating groove and all. I mean I hadn't even fallen once. Surely it would be a piece of cake. Big mistake. HUGE.

I skated back with my aunt and was chatting away...another large mistake. We weren't too far from shore when suddenly I noticed that my feet were no longer on the ice but that I was some how parallel to the ice and flying through the air and then...KABOOM!! I really have no idea how I landed. Very bizarre. I didn't land on my back or my butt. I have one odd bruise on the back of my right calf. Apparently I landed full-force on my left wrist.

As I sat on the ice dazed and semi-hysterical (part laughing/part crying) my aunt was trying to haul me to my feet... but it wasn't happening. Tyler had to come rescue me on the sled and he dragged me the rest of the way to shore. My mom put an ace bandage on my wrist but it felt like I was being stabbed with a hot poker and I had to take it off. Tyler and I drove to a nearby little town to get a wrist brace because I thought that I had just sprained it. By the time Tyler got back in the car with the brace I couldn't move my wrist or even lift it and I had gone into shock. Tyler quickly drove another 20 minutes to a bigger town with a hospital while periodically yelling at me "Are you in shock?" and trying to help stop my teeth from chattering.

We got right in at the ER and after a warm blanket or two I began to feel a bit more with it. We found out that I had broken my wrist in two places. I had chipped a chunk off my ulna and I had a crack clear across my radius. I got a huge pain med shot in the butt and then got my arm put in a big bulky splint from my upper arm to my fingertips.

Tyler thought a picture of this whole hellish process would be great for the blog. Here I am looking pathetic...it wasn't hard.

After that we headed back to the lake and I extremely drugged. I know that I had conversations with people (I have no clue what about) and I vaguely recall eating a potsticker and watching Tyler play pool...but that's about it .

A couple days later the real drama began...wherein I had my psychotic break. ;)

Fast forward to the Orthopedic Surgeon's office where I went to get my hard cast put on. I had despised my huge splint and felt extremely confined in it and had told Tyler that if I started freaking out that he had to help me get out of it and then help me re-wrap it. My main fear going to the doctor's was that he was going to put me in a long arm cast where I couldn't bend my arm AND...of course that's what he said. Here comes the first part of my meltdown. I began crying and saying I couldn't do that...I needed to be able to move my arm and bend my elbow. He eventually agreed to put me in a short cast and a sling that I would have to wear 24 hours a day but he said that I would be "going against medical advice" and he said that hopefully I would be able to "dodge a bullet" but that if my bones didn't heal properly I would need surgery and would end up in a long arm cast anyway. More tears ensued because I'm not exactly the kind of person who goes against medical advice or who has a meltdown in the doctor's office!!

I went home feeling extremely confined and panicky even being in a short cast. By about 8pm that night things had gotten worse and I had a full-fledged panic attack...something I've never had before and hope to never have again. I've always heard about them and I guess I have sort of thought that maybe people were exaggerating. MY SINCERE APOLOGIES!! It was horrible. I felt like I couldn't breathe...literally gasping for air. I felt like I was having chest pains and was about to die. Rationally I knew that I must have been having a panic attack but that knowledge didn't make it stop or go away. Tyler told the kids that he and I were going for a drive...because I didn't want to freak them out and luckily they had no clue. He drove me to a nearby emergent care place and talked to the nurse who suggested I make an appointment with my Primary Care physician. The cold night air kind of helped me to breathe better. Tyler gave me a blessing and we went home and I was able to sleep. The next morning Tyler called my doctor and explained the situation and I got right in for an appointment.

So here's the deal: I have "cast claustrophobia" (actually not that uncommon.) Weird. I don't know what brought all this on. I do have claustrophobia but it hasn't prohibited me from doing things. I've had casts twice before and never had a problem. So who knows? The human mind is a mysterious thing. The panic attack and anxiety could have been caused by the pain medication I was taking. The same kind of pain medication I took after my c-section that caused me to snore in mid-sentence with my eyes wide open and that caused me to yell at people to "be quiet" when no one was making any noise. So it could be that I don't react well to that medication. The doctor also felt that it could've been brought on by feelings of being overwhelmed and feeling like the cast would make it difficult to care for Bryn. Who knows? She prescribed some anti-anxiety medication and a tranquilizer type drug to take if I have another panic attack. I guess the anti-anxiety medicine can take a few weeks to kick in. I went off the pain medication and only took Tylenol and felt much better. I did start taking the anti-anxiety medication and will take it while I am in my cast...which I loathe and detest every minute of the day. So far no more panic attacks.

I always knew that I would end up medicated some day...I just thought it would be during Reilly's dating years not due to a stinking broken arm!! Who knows maybe I've needed this for years and never knew!! I might be just delightful on medication. So far it's too soon to tell. I'll keep you posted. :)

BTW: Tyler is the best husband ever!! He has been completely loving and supportive through all my craziness. The man "gets" me even when I am acting like a lunatic. For better or worse right? I love you Ty!!