springdellgirl

Five Phrases (and a Bonus)

Is this your life? It is definitely mine...around 90% of the time. In the spirit of helping those of you in the trenches of parenting teenagers I have found 5 phrases guaranteed to shut them up or at least leave them sputtering or cause them to leave the room. Either way objective accomplished.

Here are my current personal favorites:

1.) When they ask the ever incessant "Why?"..."why can't I do this"..."why can't I do that?" I like to respond with "Because the last time I checked my name was Mom." (Source my sister Jordin). Teenagers have no where to go with this. They can't argue about it and you don't have to keep using the tiresome and ineffective "Because I said so" which leave you wide open for more arguing.

2.) When they lamely try to explain the world and how it works to you, the parent, as if you are an imbecile ...or better yet my personal favorite...when they slowly (because you are clearly stupid) tell YOU what it is like to be a teenager... and then when you quickly correct them about how the world REALLY works and they are snotty and say "And how would you know?" I like to respond with "Because I have been 15 and you have never been 39." (Source Elder Jeffrey R. Holland at our last Stake Conference) Again...shuts them right up (or at least they only mumble under their breath which is much preferable in my opinion.)

3.) When they wail about how UNFAIR life/you/everything is...I like to say "Well, if life were fair everyone would get a teddy bear for Christmas." (Source How to Hug a Teenage Porcupine by Dr. John L. Lund) This one is particularly catchy with any younger siblings. They especially love to chime in with it when they hear their older sibling say that anything is unfair. Even two year olds pick up on it quickly and can say it to said teenager when you aren't even around. Bonus!! Of course this one often causes a scream of annoyance and a slamming of the bedroom door or in our case the pounding of feet EXTRA hard on the stairs but I feel it still accomplishes its purpose as they really have no come back and are so annoyed they leave the room.

4.) When they scream "I HATE YOU!!", "YOU ARE SO RUDE!!", "YOU ARE THE WORST MOTHER EVER!! I like to respond with "Thank you for that valuable feedback on a job well done. Yay me!!" This also may elicit a scream of rage but they again vacate the room quickly. Mission accomplished.

5.) This truly may be my personal favorite. I used it just 10 minutes ago. When they shriek "I am never talking to you again!!" I like to smile, and gleefully clap my hands, and say "Hooray!! Let's start right now!!"

Here is a bonus for you that always leaves things on a high note; because let's face it sometimes we just need a high note. (And by high note, I mean they just stare at you blinking and then walk off.)

**When they yell at you "Why are you always in my business?", "Why can't you guys just leave me alone?" respond with "Because you matter." Enough said.