springdellgirl

Meanest Mom EVER!

We are two 1/2 weeks into the school year and the "meanest mom ever" that would be me (if there was any doubt) has already inspired chorus upon chorus of this particular chant. Why am I so mean? I am a vehement hater of after school activities. I hate them, I loathe them. That's why I love summer so much. I cave for certain things like: ballet, piano, t-ball, and afew other things. Other than that count us out. This doesn't win me any popularity contests with my kids. So far this year I have said "no" to: crossing guard, scouts, soccer, and BAND!! How anyone with half my DNA wants to play in the band is beyond me!

At the end of last year Reilly informed me that she would LOVE to be a crossing guard. Um...ok... after all I was a crossing guard in 5th grade too. Brad Roper and I made a heck of a team as we protected/guarded an intersection in Springville, Utah. Of course I only wanted to be a crossing guard because the cute Brad Roper was one. Anyway I said yes to Reilly and then got a taste of what life is like for the mother of a crossing guard. I needed to drop her off early and pick her up later and HOPE she was paying attention to vehicles. At the end of last year she was "training" which was terrifying to behold. I stalked her at various locations and found that all she did was chat with everyone crossing the street. Very little attention was paid to the cars that she was supposed to be keeping her eye on. One particular location...the water tower intersection was the worst. Dangerous...and I had to actually honk at her a few times from my secret location to make sure she didn't get hit by a car herself while she was deep in conversation with a friend. When school started this year and I realized that she only had 1 day a week free to stay after school and what was Kameron supposed to do while she was doing this and the fact that we BARELY make it to school on time as is I made her turn in her fluorescent vest. But here's a picture of her "training" just to document that she was actually a crossing guard once. Do note that she is posing for a picture not caring that a school bus is barreling right towards her.

Scouts... I have nothing against scouting but Kameron can do it when he turns eight and do it through our church. Something happened at school and I don't know if scouting representatives actually came to their school but whatever it was it was impressive. Kameron came home begging to be a cub scout. Sure I said...when you turn eight. Here began the hysterics...crying...fit throwing. But I held firm. I talked to the moms of Kameron's buddies who wanted to know if Kameron was going to cub scouts and I said no. Lucky for me that was what the other moms said too. But for awhile there were some mopey 1st graders.

Soccer...this is still a sore spot at our house. I'm not against team sports. I'm against every Saturday filled with soccer. I would rather do things as a family. Our motto is let the kids ski...water and snow, snowboard, mountain bike, boat...active yet something the whole family can do together. Tyler and I got burned out sitting through many many soccer games of Kirk and Jordin.

Now onto band. Again...apparently there was quite a fabulous assembly or something pushing the band and strings program at Reilly's school. Reilly came home quite excited to learn to play an instrument. I told her she already was learning to play an instrument...the piano that sits ignored most of the time and why didn't she sign up for choir. Here entered her hysterics. "BUT I WANT TO PLAY THE CLARINET!!" she bellowed. Excuse me? The clarinet? "Who are you?" I asked her and "how are we related?" Then came the buckets and buckets of preteen tears. I'm sorry but the last thing my frazzled nerves can take is the honking or should I say squawking of the clarinet!! (Please no comments from disgruntled clarinet players...It's a wonderful instrument...but not in the hands of my 5th grade daughter).

I am not against band. I see it's value. I was in band for two horrible years in junior high. My mom signed me up (without my knowledge) and gleefully picked out my instrument...THE FRENCH HORN!! She was so excited at the first of those two years. She even bought me a french horn sweatshirt so I could feel extra bonded with my instrument and boy was she ever excited at the end of those two years to let me quit. Maybe one too many times having to accompany me on the piano at solo night did her in. I was HORRIBLE. The french horn and a girl with braces do not mix. I could never produce the "buzz" that then would cause the proper sound to come out of the instrument. I was lucky to get my lips over those braces!! I dragged that instrument home every day for two years and had permanent bruises on my knees from where the large and cumbersome case would whack me. I could barely lift that case and would've missed the bus every single day (I was always late and had to run for it) if Tom Buss (high school neighbor) hadn't taken pity on me and lugged it for me as we would both run for the bus. Oh the memories!! I did learned to appreciate classical music and to love the symphony...and it did build character.

Reilly already gets a lot of that from ballet and piano. She also has a lovely voice, loves to sing, and I think she would really love choir. But this is the argument that refuses to die. Oh the allure of shiny instruments. I said no when she first told me about it. I said no when she brought home the note from the school. I said no when she called me from school twice on the final day and said "I'm calling you so you don't make a terrible mistake by not signing me up for band. Whatever I sign up for I have to stick with for two years and I would hate for YOU to feel bad later on that you had made the wrong decision". Thanks Reilly! Then I just had to say it all again yesterday because apparently band is about to start up and Reilly wanted to "double check" that I was o.k. with choir because she sure wouldn't want me feeling guilty if she missed out on the great talent she could have had with her clarinet!! I'll take my chances. But for now the crown and sash as meanest mother EVER still belongs to me.