springdellgirl

What's Good For the Goose is Good For the Gander


Since I've documented the many humorous moments as Reilly "matures" it is only fair that I document the ones about Kameron. This could be TMI for some of you faint-hearted. A couple of weeks ago when Kameron was at baseball practice his coach came over to where the parents were watching swinging something around and around on his index finger. "Parents... I think we all recognize these...I need the boys in them by our next game." As I struggled to identify what that bit of fabric and elastic was (I grew up with only one brother...much younger) it FINALLY dawned on me that it was none other than a jock strap!! Really?? At seven? You've got to be kidding me. The coach wasn't.

This necessitated a trip to the store to purchase this little item. How difficult could that be? DIFFICULT! First of all, finding such extremely small ones was a problem. Luckily one mother found a store that had an abundance and I decided to head on down there to pick one up. The second problem...my sheer mortification. That completely blindsided me. I'm not that easily embarrassed. I like to think of myself as an evolved woman. Please. I have no problem buying condoms...even with a male cashier...I can plunk them down on the conveyor belt thing without batting an eye...even if it says in large letters "ribbed for her pleasure" I can make eye contact and tell them to have a nice day. But buy a jock strap for my seven year old and I am reduced to quaking jello.

It started off so normal...me and Ailey walking into the sporting goods store. It was a new one in our area so I decided to look around. Well, the help there is "uber-helpful" and I was asked about 15 times if they could help me find anything. "Nope. I'm just looking". As I went through all the aisles it became obvious that these were impossible to find. Crap. I was going to have to go ask for assistance. All of the sales associates just happened to be buff manly men sportsmen. Everywhere I looked they were in groups of two or three. No--my evolution as a feminist woman does not include me sauntering up to a group of manly men sportsmen and saying "Hello boys! Could one of you manly men point me in the direction of the jock straps?" Yeah that wasn't going to happen. So I roamed all the aisles again looking for a female sales associate. There wasn't one. Crap. Then a brilliant idea struck me. I would call Tyler at work, have him call the store asking if they were in stock, and where they were located and then he could call me back. So I went over to an aisle free of men and called Tyler. He agreed to call the store after much exasperation as to why I didn't just ASK SOMEONE.

Well if you want to be left alone and keep a low profile while waiting for your husband's call don't by all means wait in guns and ammunition!! Big mistake. Apparently nervous females with whiny 3 year-old girls aren't usual browsers in that particular aisle. Enter umpteen helpful men. So I quickly headed over to womens shoes and was left blissfully alone. After a LONG TIME and no call from Tyler. I called him back. He "claimed" he couldn't find a number for the new store. Hmm...baloney. I thought I detected some snickering in the back ground. He told me I was just going to have to go ask someone and to get over it...after all he's been buying tampons for me for years. Crap. Just as I was hanging up and about to look for an elderly male worker to assist me one of the manly men walked by and joy to behold while it appeared to be male it was infact female!! Yahoo. Mission accomplished. Guess where they were? By the ping pong balls because that makes perfect sense right?

After I brought it home and gave it to Kameron I thought I would do my own little psychology experiment. A downside of a mother with a psychology background. I get amusement out of things like this. My experiment was two-fold. Number one...what would he do when encountered with something he has never seen in his life and number two...occasionally for the fun of it I like to look for evidence that we actually descend from a higher being rather than having evolved from hairy apes.



I gave Kameron the package. He opened it, pulled it out, sniffed it, and promptly put it on his head. Score one for the hairy apes. He then dangled it off one finger as he ran around the house chasing his sisters and trying to swing it in their faces. Reilly was appalled and told him to to "Get that disgusting thing out of her face!!"

Kameron: "Do you know what this is for?"

Reilly: "Yeah and I could puke if you don't get it out of here".

Kameron: "It's for protection...for my "family nut"!!

Hmm...apparently there is some confusion and a mixing of labels between the other seven year olds on the play ground. But hilarious all the same. His team is now quite enthralled with this whole new piece of attire and routinely check each other to see if they have them on. Score two for the hairy apes. Nature versus nurture. You be the judge. Oh by the way-- if you find yourself in my position and need to purchase one of these don't ask where the jock straps are...they have a new PC name that will save you MUCH EMBARRASSMENT. They are called "Athletic Supporters". Who knew?

Dinner Alert: Since nothing kills an appetite like talking about athletic supporters I apologize. BUT... we are having lime coconut jasmine rice with edamame and leeks for dinner and egg rolls. YUM.