The Celebration of a Life

Celebration of the Life of My Uncle Mike

My Uncle Mike never wanted a funeral... he wanted a big BBQ and a party. In November, a BBQ just wasn't happening, but we tried our hardest to give him the best send off possible.  My Uncle Mike was such a funny guy and there were so many hilarious stories to lighten things up when we got too sad. It's so bittersweet because that has always been my Uncle Mike's role in our family; when bad or sad things happen we could always count on him to give us a big hug while we cried for a minute and then he would say the funniest and most irreverent thing possible to make us laugh. I kept looking around for him to make us laugh and that broke my heart. Lucky for all of us, my Aunt Bonnie and their kids stepped right up and fulfilled that role and I know that my My Uncle Mike was so proud of them.

This has been my most significant loss. It hurts. This really hit our family hard. I have lost grandparents and that was sad but they were older and they were...well...grandparents. My Uncle Mike was young (to me) and in the prime of his life. Even though he had been very sick with multiple types of cancer...I don't think that you are ever prepared. This was my mom's little brother (her favorite brother as she likes to say) and he was our favorite uncle...hands down. He truly was the shining star of our family. Uncle Mike was always there in our lives...such a strong presence. That has left a huge hole for me, my siblings, husband, and my children. We all looked up to him so much. He was always a wonderful father figure to my siblings and me. Someone we could look to to see what dads are supposed to look like and act like. He was also one of the few remaining members of the church in our family and Tyler and I really appreciated the example that he set for us. My Uncle Mike was just such a loving guy...someone you could always count on...a provider of great advice on so many subjects...and a tremendous role model. I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have of eternal families. I know without a doubt that I will see him again but he is missed by our whole family...immeasurably. I've heard it said that we grieve because we love. Because we loved big we have grieved and continue to grieve big. I guess in the grand scheme of things it's a small price to pay for the love and blessings we have received. How lucky we are to have had something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

My aunt and cousins asked Tyler to put together a video of pictures of my uncle set to his favorite music picked out by my cousins and aunt to play at the viewing and funeral. This was truly a labor of love. Tyler worked on it for two days straight and had tears rolling down his face most of the time. I must have watched the video at least 20 times and couldn't get through it without crying. It turned out so fantastic. You could truly see that even though my uncle's life was short, it was completely full, and packed with love and joy. What more could you ask for? My mom came over and I helped her write her eulogy. My uncle had a deal with her...he said to her once, "If I croak I want you to speak at my funeral okay?" and my mom said, "Only if you speak at mine, if I croak first." It was an honor to help her fulfill his wishes. Tyler also put together a powerpoint presentation to go along with my mom's life sketch of my uncle.

Smiling through tears

All my siblings traveled to Boise for his funeral. Even my sister and her whole family came from Kansas City. Family truly was the bright spot in this whole experience. All we wanted to do was be with my aunt and our cousins. It felt so much better to be together. My mom, aunts and uncles, and several cousins also traveled to be there. When we arrived we quickly checked into our hotel. My sister Jordin and her family were already there. It was so great to see her!! Kansas City is too far away. Then we headed to the viewing. I can't even express my love for my aunt and my cousins. They are the most amazing people and I am proud to know them. There was candy flowing and kids running around (mine included) and I think my uncle would've loved that. The kids were not afraid to look at his body or touch him. It really was the sweetest thing. My cousin, Justin, gave the most beautiful family prayer before the casket was closed. I saw him assuming his new role as head of his family. I was so proud of him. He is such a great guy and I know that he will (and the rest of my cousins) take good care of my aunt.  My brother, Kirk, and his family arrived at the viewing and I was so happy to see him. My little brother and sister have grown into the most incredible people and parents...my cousins too. It is really neat to see.

After the viewing we went over to my aunt and uncle's house to eat and hang out with the family. We laughed and laughed most of the night. I KNOW my uncle would've wanted it that way. Late that night we headed back to our hotel and met up in my mom's suite....just my mom, me, Tyler, and my siblings. We laughed and cried until nearly three am. It doesn't happen all that often that we are all together at the same time but when it does it is a beautiful thing.

You've gotta love this hazy, blurry, self-timer, 2:30am selfie!!

We were all staying at the same hotel in Boise which was great. We all had suites with a living room area and pull out couch and a bedroom area to hold all of our children!! The hotel serves a nice breakfast and has a pool so the cousins loved it. They met up early in the dining room for breakfast and then we headed to the church.

The McClellans together again...minus Stacey's husband John. Back row: Kameron, Kelley, Ramon, Mom, me, Reilly, Meki, Stacey, Jordin, Kirk, Tyler. Front row: Kaiya, Ailey, RJ, Kaiden, Bryn, Jaylah, Elle, River and Dane.

We met first at the church for a family luncheon. My aunt and uncle's ward members did such a nice job. You can tell how much they are loved by their ward. It was good to visit with family and friends of my uncle. After the lunch we gathered in the relief society room as a family to say one last goodbye to my uncle and my aunt asked Tyler to say the family prayer before everyone went into the chapel. I am so grateful to be married to a man who truly loves my family as much and as deeply as if he had been born into it. I couldn't ask for a better husband.

The celebration of my uncle that day was a beautiful, spiritual, and moving tribute to him. No one likes a funeral but it does serve a purpose. It gives us something to do...some formal ceremonial/symbolic way to pay tribute and it gives us a way to say goodbye. I really did find comfort in the hymns, prayers, and scriptures. I am so glad that I have my faith. My cousin Wendy spoke and talked about her dad and shared funny stories and memories. She was a rock and did a wonderful job. My uncle sang with a men's choir and they came and performed. Tears were rolling down the faces of those men. As I sat in the packed chapel I was so proud to be related to Mike Ellersick. He made such a difference in so many people's lives.

Clockwise: Haylee, Grace, Miley, Kameron, Kaiden, Dane, Kaiya, Ailey and Jaylah.

I love the love that there is between my children and my cousins' children. They are all cousins through and through and they enjoy being together. The lake has been such a glue to bind our family together through the generations. My kids just adore my Uncle Mike and Aunt Bonnie. They have done such a great job of showing such love and interest in my children and my kids think the absolute world of both of them. They knew they were and are loved by them...what a gift!

Uncle Mike and Kameron...So sweet!!

Everyone went into the cultural hall for dessert (my uncle's favorite treats) and to watch the video Tyler made and my mom's presentation. She did phenomenal job!! She told funny stories and poked fun at my uncle because the only thing that my uncle liked better than laughing was laughing at other people...himself included!! It was loving tribute of a big sister to her little brother. My uncle Mike's best friend, Jeff, flew in all the way from Japan where he is currently living, to be there. He told more hilarious stories about my uncle and their escapades. My cousin, Jennifer, spoke and so did her son, Jackson...who was best buddies with his grandpa. My aunt Bonnie also got up and spoke. It was wonderful and I think my uncle would've have been quite pleased.

After that we had to let all the kids burn off all that dessert. They were getting wild. The ward did such a nice job on the "party" in the cultural hall. Gorgeous desserts were set on beautiful tables. It looked like a wedding reception. It was so lovely. Plus, if you are going to be crying, laughing, crying, laughing, it does help to have a cream puff in your mouth. Right?

Back at the hotel the kids took over the pool and we ordered pizza. They had a great time and were able to release some of their pent up energy.

Girls Table: Bryn, Jaylah, Ailey, Kaiya, and River

Boys Table: Kaiden, RJ, Dane, and Kameron

Kirk, Meki, and their kids had to leave after that...Kirk had to be back to work in Salt Lake early the next day. It sucks living so far from each other. Lucky for us, Kirk and family will be coming up here for the holidays. We took a few pictures outside our hotel.

All my mom's grandkids!! We should've had her jump in the picture!! Darn it. They are a cute bunch.

The adults: Stacey, Kirk and his girlfriend, Meki, Tyler, Me, Kelley, Ramon (Jordin's husband), Jordin, and my mom. She will kill me for that picture of her...but she has the hardest time keeping her eyes open for pictures!! It's a real dilemma. But it's the only picture that even slightly turned out in the weird light so...sorry mom.

Then we went back to my aunt's house to be with family. All of our kids quickly disappeared outside into their enormous park-like backyard for hours of night games. The weather was really nice and mild. (When we left Boise it was nearly 60 degrees.) The kids played outside in the dark for hours while the adults visited. I will just say again how much I love and admire my aunt and my cousins. Wow. They were incredible and it was so nice to be together. But that is how my uncle would've wanted it to be. The hard part is not always looking for him... in the crowd, in the kitchen, outside riling up all the kids playing night games. He could always be found in the thick of things. 

After another late stay at my aunt's house...some of us continued on back to our hotel. We put all our kids in bed and the adults met up again in my mom's suite. This time my cousin Paul, my uncle John, my uncle Steve, my aunt Margaret and their daughter Tania, joined us.

My cousin, Tania, Jordin, Kelley and Ramon

More stories were shared especially from my two uncles about their baby brother and all the trouble they got into. Glasses were raised and toasts were offered. It was a very special time especially to hear my uncle's brothers and sister talk about their memories of him and to hear my cousin Paul talk about his dad.

My cousin Paul, my Uncle John, My mom, and Stacey

Jordi, Kelley, Ramon and Tyler

My Uncle Steve and me. This is when my Uncle Steve uttered these now infamous words..."OH! Are we taking a FACE-Y??"  Ha ha!! That made us all roll with laughter. A new phrase has been coined. My Uncle Steve was like..."What?! It's called a SELFIE?  How the hell would I know?!" Ha ha!!

This get together again lasted until the wee hours of the morning despite all of us being completely wiped out but it was just too hard to say goodbye. Oh yeah...and this happened.

My Aunt Margaret hopped on Jordin's back for a piggy back ride!!

Aunt and Niece love!!

The next morning we all hit the road back to Spokane and North Idaho. Lucky for us, Jordin and her family were coming with us so we could spend Thanksgiving together at my mom's house. Despite the reason for the trip that don't think I will ever completely come to terms with, I am grateful for many things and I guess I will close out my gratitude month with this:

I am grateful for:

-My Heavenly Father and My Savior

-The Gospel

-Eternal Families

-Love

-Uncles

-Aunts

-Cousins

-My mom

-Siblings

-My husband

-My children

-My nieces and nephews

-My cousins' children who I love and are "nieces and nephews" to me

-Laughter through tears

-The Plan of Salvation

-Faith

-Health 

-Humor

-Mike

-The knowledge that I am loved by my family and that they know that they are loved by me

Goodbye...for now. I love you!

Quandary

Quandary

What to do? What to do? My gratitude posts never got finished for the month of November. Life is like that sometimes. Should I finish them or just move on? I've been deliberating on that for over a week now and I guess I just will catch up and move on. Since my last post we've  had a trip to Boise, my Uncle Mike's funeral, a trip to Sandpoint, Thanksgiving, been sick,  Tyler's uncle passed away, December arrived, and now we are almost all ready for Christmas. Despite my incomplete posts we did have so much to be grateful for and so many blessings along the way.

Gratitude: Day 20

Day 20

I am grateful that we are checking more things off of our barely working list of items. Hallelujah. This one has been a big stressor. I know that I have mentioned on the blog before about how handy Tyler has become over the years. What he accomplished today was pretty darn impressive for a guy, who when we got married, didn't really know how to repair much of anything. I am very proud wife. Today, while I was volunteering in Brynnie's classroom, Tyler removed our old water heater and installed our new one. Woohoo. I am impressed...and grateful...for a handy husband and a brand new water heater.

Gratitude: Day 19

Day 19

I am grateful for caramel corn. Caramel corn and an icy cold Redbull got me through a horribly sad day. I downed a Redbull in order to get up and moving, pulled on a pair yoga pants, and drove the kids to school. When I returned I collapsed onto the couch in a sobby mess with my iPhone, a heated blanket, old family pictures, and caramel corn. It got me through. A million phone calls and texts back and forth with my family, and a visit with relatives... including my Mom... probably helped too but my old friend caramel corn was there for me that day and I am grateful.

Gratitude: Day 18

Day 18

Me and My Uncle Mike

I am grateful for this guy. I am grateful for the blessing that he has been to me all my life. I will miss him every single day. A bright and vibrant star is gone from our family and we will never be the same.

Words cannot express what my Uncle Mike meant to me and my family but is my attempt:

We lost one of the great ones last night. Our family is heartbroken. There is a gigantic hole in our hearts. My Uncle Mike was the most amazing man. He was strong and handsome and brave. He fought until the end and set such an example of courage for our entire family...we are forever changed. He was one of the most charismatic people I have ever known. He could light up an entire room. He was hilarious...no one could make me laugh more than Uncle Mike with his stories and teasing. He showed me what noble fatherhood looked like and what a loving husband looked like. Tyler and I have looked to he and Bonnie's example in so many ways. I hope that someday when we are grandparents that we can be half the grandparents that they are to their grandchildren. They are amazing!! They are wonderful parents to their children and an incredible uncle and aunt to their many nieces and nephews and great-nieces and nephews. Uncle Mike has been a rock of support in my life and always one of the very first calls to me when hard and difficult things have happened and also when joyous things have happened. He will never know how much that has meant to me all these years. His zest for life, humor, always having fun, and not taking yourself too seriously has been something that I have always admired and tried to emulate. I adore him. Thank you for being the best uncle a girl could have...for showing love to my husband and children who also adore you...for teaching me the importance of family and unconditional love through your amazing example. Thanks for late night talks around the table at the lake. Thanks for always taking the time to tell me that you loved me. Thank you for raising four fantastic children who enrich my life. Thank you for marrying Aunt Bonnie and bringing her into our family. She is a blessing to me. The greatest compliment that I can give you is that you are your father's son in every way. I take great comfort in knowing that you two are together again. I look forward to the day when we are all together and laughing once more. I love you Uncle Mike.


Jesus said..."I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live...and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die." (John 11:25-26)

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Gratitude: Day 17

Day 17

I am grateful for medical insurance and a daughter with a thick skull. I spent all afternoon in the ER with Reilly. Not fun. On Sunday after church she and Justin went to the park to walk around. The pond was frozen over so she decided to go walk on it and take a few pictures.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Reilly loves it when I hijack her Instagram pictures...ha ha. Don't cha? :)

Clearly this year we have used up our deductible. Can the Johnsons stay out of the hospital?! Reilly ended up having a CAT scan which looked good...thank goodness. But she did have a nasty concussion and boy has she been miserable.

When she fell on Sunday she had a big lump on her head and a headache but nothing unusual. I had checked her pupils and done all the usual exam stuff and things looked good.  Then by noon the next day she called me from school. She had fainted in the girls bathroom and was so nauseous that she could barely walk. I drove her straight to the ER. Luckily, she was taken back quickly and given something strong for the pain and nausea. We then sat there for hours waiting for the CAT scan and then for the results. Boy, did we see some interesting things (and by *interesting* I mean weirdos galore) and we would've liked to don hazmat suits or at least take a bath in the hand sanitizer while we waited. God bless ER doctors and nurses.

Reilly ended up missing two days of school and seems to be getting on top of things now. Good grief. I am grateful that she is on the mend and thankful that we have good insurance and access to high quality care.

Gratitude: Day 16

Day 16

I am grateful for a son (and a husband) who hold the priesthood. Today was a great day for me. Kameron was ordained to the office of a teacher in the Aaronic Priesthood by his dad. He got sustained in Sacrament Meeting and had to go up and share a memorized Article of Faith. I might be biased but I think that he is the cutest boy ever and he just keeps getting cuter and cuter. Even better than that, he is a good boy. He has a strong and firm testimony of the gospel and he lives it. He honors his priesthood and consistently uses it to bless and serve others. He watches out for the boys in his quorum and goes out of his way to show them that he is their friend and that he cares about each of them. Good stuff. I truly believe that the priesthood helps to mold boys into men and teaches them to serve others. I am so grateful for a son and a husband who are worthy priesthood holders and bless our lives.

Gratitude: Day 15

Day 15


I am grateful for stake dances. Awkward as they may be, they are a right of passage to an LDS child, and they teach you so many things in the realm of social graces. Even I went to stake dances as a youth though I didn't go to church. Church dances are a must in a child's upbringing. Saturday night was Kameron's first stake dance. This was not the much looked forward to and anticipated event like it was in Reilly's life. Kameron's feelings were along the lines of sheer dreading it. But...go he must. So begrudgingly off he went to learn to be a gentleman, dance in social situations, practice civility, and etiquette. As Kameron is a child who unfailingly does his duty he went and tried to be a good sport about it.

He went with these two and I am not sure if they were a help or a hindrance. Probably both. Let's just say the night was NOT MAGICAL. Kameron had a rough time. I've never really thought about it from the boy's perspective before...about how hard it is to get up the nerve to ask a pretty girl to dance. I just know the sitting on the sidelines and hoping someone will ask you to dance part. Both are horribly awkward and difficult. I was raised to always dance with any boy who asked me to dance and I was hoping that the girls in our stake were also raised with that same philosophy. Who knew that Tyler and I would feel just as anguished waiting to hear if a girl would dance with Kam as we did waiting to hear if a boy would ask Reilly to dance at her first stake dance. This parenting business is not for the faint of heart!

About 45 minutes went by and then I broke down and texted Kameron to see how it was going. He replied with "Not good. I want to leave." Poor Kam. He was so stressed out and was psyching himself out and making it a much bigger deal than it needed to be. It didn't help that his big sister was trying to rustle up some girls to dance with him and humiliating him in the process. The boy worried...and stressed...and worried...and stressed...and didn't ask a single girl to dance. But the girls would not be deterred and one lovely young lady asked him to dance (a slow dance at that!) and he obliged. Turns out it wasn't so bad!! He even liked it. It did not help having your big sister documenting the momentous event by taking pictures of you while dancing your first dance but what can you do? After that he was done. He did what he came to do. Since he had finally stepped onto the dance floor and actually danced, we allowed him to come home.

Hopefully next month will go better. He seemed to take it all in stride. Especially the next day as several of his young men leaders teased him and congratulated him on his first foray onto the dance floor and actually slow dancing!! He is a dance virgin no more!! The ice has been broken. While I don't think he is counting down the days to his next dance, I don't think he is dreading it quite so much.

Adolescence. What a terribly awkward process. The boys have it just as bad as the girls...something I NEVER would've have thought possible until having a teenage boy of my own. It's rough all over...even for the parents.

I am grateful for stake dances that allow us to get all of our awkwardness out before we are turned loose onto the general public and that our teenage boy does his duty even when it is difficult, awkward, and embarrassing. I am also grateful that he ended the night on a high note...slow dancing with a pretty girl. I am grateful for pretty girls who put poor nervous boys out of their misery by taking the situation into their own hands and asking the boy to dance. Quote of the night from Kam when Tyler asked him, "So how was it slow dancing with a girl?" Kam said with a grin, "It felt pretty good." Success!!

Love these crazy teenagers of ours!!

Gratitude: Day 14

Day: 14

I know I say this every year but I truly am so very grateful for books. I believe the above statement whole-heartily. What a joy and a gift reading is in my life. It is an escape, a pleasure, a way to relax,  a way to deal with stress, and a way to visit other places, and briefly live other lives. I couldn't live without books. People who don't read are missing out on one of the most amazing sensory experiences the world has to offer. How dull life must be if the only life you ever experience is just your own?

I have books that I have read that the characters are as real to me as my own family. I think about them,wonder about them, and long for them.  There are books that I have read that have taken me to places that I don't want to leave. There are books that I have read where the writing was so beautiful that even just reading the first sentence brought me to tears. I am beyond grateful for reading, books, authors, libraries, and imagination. I believe that having a vivid imagination and being a voracious reader goes hand in hand...and makes for the most interesting people. :) I could talk books all day long with certain people, and when I am with them, and doing just that I am in HEAVEN!! Thank goodness my husband is one of those people!! I think it would be very difficult to be married to a non-reader. I just don't think I could do it. Seriously. Tyler was a non-reader when I met him and it caused issues in our dating life. Thank goodness he converted!! All it took was a few good books to get him hooked. On one of our most joyous road trips (our latest trip to Boise) we talked about a particular series of books for a good 4 hours. I am not even kidding!!

Here are some of my latest book reviews:

1.) Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

I loved this book and thought that it was a fun read. I am a Rainbow Rowell fan through and through. I love her writing. I love her YA writing and her adult fiction. That is saying something because I am generally not a fan of YA lit.  I think it takes tremendous talent to be able to write well in both genres and to connect with both audiences.

From Goodreads:


Cath is a Simon Snow fan. Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan...But for Cath, being a fan is her life—and she’s really good at it. She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it’s what got them through their mother leaving. Reading. Rereading. Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere. Cath’s sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can’t let go. She doesn’t want to. Now that they’re going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn’t want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone. She’s got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who thinks fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words... And she can’t stop worrying about her dad, who’s loving and fragile, and has never really been alone. For Cath, the question is: Can she do this? Can she make it without Wren holding her hand? Is she ready to start living her own life? Writing her own stories?

The dialogue is hands down my favorite part of any Rainbow Rowell book. This book's dialogue doesn't disappoint. It is smart, witty, and quirky...just like her characters...which are always my second favorite aspect of her books. Levi?! Come on!!  How could you not love him? And poor insecure, nerdy, fanfic writing, introverted Cath? So sweet.  So awkward. You root for her and cringe for her. I thought that it was a great story about going off to college, finding yourself, and all the while dealing with some complicated family dynamics. It made for an engaging and poignant story. I also enjoyed learning about the whole new world (to me) of fanfiction. Wow. Who knew?  I found that whole world fascinating. There are definitely a series or two of books that I could be all fan-girly about! But the many excerpts from Cath's fanfic of Simon Snow...yeah not so much. It got a little old. But, all in all, I enjoyed the book. I laughed. I cringed. I cheered her on towards independence. I really enjoyed this layered coming-of-age story.

My Rating: Excellent

2.) Landline by Rainbow Rowell

Another Rainbow Rowell you say? Why, yes. Have you read her books yet? You should. This is her latest, It is regular fiction...not YA.

From Goodreads:

Georgie McCool knows her marriage is in trouble. That it’s been in trouble for a long time. She still loves her husband, Neal, and Neal still loves her, deeply — but that almost seems beside the point now. Maybe that was always beside the point. Two days before they’re supposed to visit Neal’s family in Omaha for Christmas, Georgie tells Neal that she can’t go. She’s a TV writer, and something’s come up on her show; she has to stay in Los Angeles. She knows that Neal will be upset with her — Neal is always a little upset with Georgie — but she doesn’t expect to him to pack up the kids and go home without her. When her husband and the kids leave for the airport, Georgie wonders if she’s finally done it. If she’s ruined everything. That night, Georgie discovers a way to communicate with Neal in the past. It’s not time travel, not exactly, but she feels like she’s been given an opportunity to fix her marriage before it starts . . .Is that what she’s supposed to do?Or would Georgie and Neal be better off if their marriage never happened?

I loved this book. The story is kind of sad and melancholy in a way, but it is also incredibly thought- provoking. Especially for someone who is in the thick of marriage and raising a family like I am. To think back to those days in college...to those days when Tyler and I were dating and everything was fresh and everything was possible... made the book even better. I just couldn't help putting myself into Georgie's position and wondering what I would say to "college Tyler" if I had the opportunity. I loved thinking about relationships and how they change and evolve over the years.I loved the complexity of the characters...just like people in real life. We have many layers and many sides. It was interesting to get to know both college-age and married-adult Georgie and Neal simultaneously. How often are you rooting for a couple 14 years into their marriage and who are also just meeting for the first time? I loved the marriage analysis...and the reminder of why we fall in love with our spouses in the first place... which sometimes can get lost in the everyday aspects of building careers, raising children, and paying the mortgage. I thought this was a great book about what often happens to a marriage once you are past the early stages and into the thick of it. Marriage is a beautiful thing despite its ups and downs and twists and turns. I thought Rowell did an admiral job of reminding us of that. I just ignored the plausibility of a magic phone. :) This would be a great book for a book club to discuss.

My Rating: Excellent


3.) Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham

If you are a Lauren Graham fan then you will love this book. I am and I did. The main character Franny Banks, in my mind, is Lauren Graham. She looks like her and sounds like her to me. It was a funny and fast read.


From Goodreads:

Franny Banks is a struggling actress in New York City, with just six months left of the three year deadline she gave herself to succeed. But so far, all she has to show for her efforts is a single line in an ad for ugly Christmas sweaters and a degrading waitressing job. She lives in Brooklyn with two roommates-Jane, her best friend from college, and Dan, a sci-fi writer, who is very definitely not boyfriend material-and is struggling with her feelings for a suspiciously charming guy in her acting class, all while trying to find a hair-product cocktail that actually works. Meanwhile, she dreams of doing "important" work, but only ever seems to get auditions for dishwashing liquid and peanut butter commercials. It's hard to tell if she'll run out of time or money first, but either way, failure would mean facing the fact that she has absolutely no skills to make it in the real world. Her father wants her to come home and teach, her agent won't call her back, and her classmate Penelope, who seems supportive, might just turn out to be her toughest competition yet. Someday, Someday, Maybe is a funny and charming debut about finding yourself, finding love, and, most difficult of all, finding an acting job.

The world of the struggling actor is not something that I have any experience with ...nor would want to...but I found the whole back drop of the acting world and New York City fascinating. This book is definitely chicklit, but smart and funny chicklit. I am sure the book is partly autobiographical. We usually write what we know. Since Franny and Lauren were both struggling actors during the same time period I would say that that is a fair assumption. It just made the book more charming. I liked Franny. I liked being inside her head and experiencing her world. I thought this book had heart and humor. The filofax doodles had me laughing out loud. Fun debut novel for Lauren Graham.

My Rating: Good


4.) Georgia Cooking from an Oklahoma Kitchen by Trisha Yearwood

Yep, I enjoy reading cookbooks...especially ones that have family stories and family pictures that go along with the recipes and cookbooks give you a sense of time, history, place, and family traditions. This book does that and, in that respect, it is charming. It is also a very basic cookbook...very basic. There are recipes for vegetables cooked in butter and seasoned with salt and pepper. That basic. This book would be great for a beginner cook...or a Trisha Yearwood fan. So while there was only about one recipe in the book that I want to try...the Butterscotch Pie...I did enjoy reading about Trisha's family and their traditions. My Rating: Okay...too basic and a little too bland for my cooking tastes.

5.) Killing Lincoln by Bill O'Reilly

I read Killing Kennedy and absolutely enjoyed it. I also really liked Killing Lincoln. Maybe it didn't have as much glamour and mystery as Killing Kennedy but it was still interesting and compelling, if not as fast-paced and riveting. Great read about the Lincoln assassination. I found it quite interesting.

My Rating: Good


6.) The Nesting Place: It Doesn't Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful by Myquillyn Smith

Myquillyn Smith is a home decor blogger called the Nester. I am not a regular reader of her blog but I have clicked over and read it a few times. I saw this book on several friends Goodreads list and thought that I would give it a read. Nothing earth-shatteringly new and exciting in the world of home decor but I loved the message of the book...which is gratitude for what you have and not waiting for life to be perfect to enjoy it.

Goodreads: Perfection is overrated. Popular blogger and self-taught decorator Myquillyn Smith (The Nester) is all about embracing reality---especially when it comes to decorating a home bursting with boys, pets, and all the unpredictable messes of life. In The Nesting Place, Myquillyn shares the secrets of decorating for real people---and it has nothing to do with creating a flawless look to wow your guests. It has everything to do with embracing the natural imperfection and chaos of daily living.

During the time this book was written, Myquillyn had been living in a rental house for years...and still was a popular design blogger. Not your usual lifestyle and home decor blogger. She talks a lot about contentment and enjoying the home that you are in even if it isn't your dream house and how important it is to make a house a home.

pg 69 - "If I want my home to be a place of contentment, I'll practice gratitude in my home. I'll say out loud things in my home that I'm thankful for instead of dwelling on what I think is missing."

I love the idea of making your house a beautiful, cozy, home regardless of what your current circumstances are and the reminder that what you have...despite it's flaws...would be a dream home to someone else in the world. We take so much for granted and I truly appreciated the reminder.  I agreed with what she said about God being a creator and lover of beauty and that creating beauty around us, in our homes and for our family, is a good thing to do even if it is just a simple vase of flowers from our yard or rearranging our furniture. So many people get caught up in the comparison trap and I truly enjoyed the author's sentiments about simplicity and finding beauty in the everyday. Myquillyn's book is more about homemaking...rather than home decorating.

Myquillyn said:“I’ve finally figured out that almost no one is living in their dream house. And I don’t know anyone whose life has gone exactly like they would have planned. You make the best choices you can at the time with the information you have, and then you deal with the consequences, and that’s the part where your life happens.” 

I don't live in my dream house right now but I do live in a house that I love and that I have tried to make a place of love, comfort, joy, and beauty. It is a cozy retreat from the world and a place my family and I look forward to coming home to. In her book, Myquillyn said that her dream growing up was to have a family, live in a little white house, have a garden, and roses, and laughing children running around. I was blessed to realize that I have all of that right now. It was wonderful reminder of  all that I have been blessed with...especially as Thanksgiving approaches.


My Rating: Good. (Much more than just decorator eye candy. Full of great insights about gratitude and contentment.)

7.) I Brake for Yard Sales by Lara Spencer

I was hoping that this would be a fun book about a kindred spirit...another lover of yard sales, estate sales, repurposing, and restyling diamonds in the rough. I was hoping for a spark of inspiration and instead I was just annoyed and irritated.

From Goodreads;

Good Morning America correspondent Lara Spencer is a self-confessed frugalista with a passion for shopping at yard sales, thrift shops, and estate sales, and for decorating her home and friends’ homes with her fabulous finds. In I Brake for Yard Sales, Lara shares her secrets for bargain hunting, and tells you where to shop, what to look for, how to pay for it, how to restore it, and finally, where to put it in your house.

The book just didn't do it for me and that really surprised me since you would think that I would be all over this book and it's subject matter. It was unrealistic...too pretentious...and I hate to say it but condescending. I was irritated with the author's tone throughout the book and finished it feeling uninspired.

My Rating: Avoid it

8.) Deep Thoughts From a Hollywood Blonde by Jennie Garth

I somehow stumbled upon this fluff after reading Killing Lincoln and needed something to decompress. The book cover is so misleading and annoying. It makes the book out to be this salacious tell-all and I was embarrassed to be seen reading it. The actual book was not at all salacious, or gossipy, and not that full of deep thoughts either. It is simply the story of Jennie Garth's rise to fame and some of her ups and downs.

From Goodreads:

From her sudden rise to fame as a golden-haired teen beauty, to recently redefining herself as a single working mother to three growing girls, Jennie Garth has defied the odds and thrived in a town that can be more than a little tough on its blondes.

When will I learn my lesson? Every single time I read Hollywood memoirs I dislike them. By the time I'm done reading them I usually dislike the person writing the book too. I sort of feel the same way about this book. It was kind of interesting to learn about Jennie Garth and how she got her big break...but not really. It was kind of interesting to hear a few behind the scenes stories about Beverly Hills 90210...but not really. It was kind of interesting to read about her family, divorce, and her Dancing with the Stars experience...but again...not really. Maybe I would have liked this book more if she were a little more real and unguarded. The book was completely superficial. No digging deep into who she is as a person, what makes her tick, or what she has learned. The lack of depth made it a rather dull read for me.  The good news is that this book isn't trashy or vindictive. The bad news is that it is boring.

My Rating: Boring

I have more book reviews that I could write, but that will have to do for now. So yeah... I am grateful for books and the ride that they take me on. Sometimes exciting and thrilling, sometimes deep and introspective, sometimes sad and scary, and occasionally dull. Whichever way the journey ends I am always grateful for the journey.

Gratitude: Day 13

Day 13

I am grateful for impromptu family dance parties. I live in a house full of dancing girls so dance parties aren't all that uncommon. But what I REALLY love is when a dance party breaks out with the whole family. Take last night for instance, we had just finished dinner and were just sitting around talking, and clearing the dishes. Reilly was waiting to be picked up to go to a pizza party. People were talking, then music was playing, and then the whole family was up and dancing...including Tyler and Kameron. For the next 20-30 minutes some serious moves were busted in our kitchen. I love that my family does this on occasion. We were all up and laughing and having a great time together before everyone went off in six different directions. And...Kameron got some valuable advice as he will be attending his first Stake Dance THIS Saturday Night!! Woohoo!! Oh yes, I am grateful for impromptu family dance parties!!

Gratitude: Day 12

Day 12

I am grateful for a working furnace. Particularly today, as Tyler told me that it was a balmy 12 degrees on his drive to work. I am grateful that our furnace is working because the other day it wasn't...well it was...but just barely. Of course the blasted furnace has to start acting up right when the weather dips into the teens and the holidays are right around the corner. So annoying! Then apparently it decided to tell it's friends that now was a great time to stop working properly as well. Luckily everything is still working...but not working that well. The items that we currently have limping along are:

1.) Our water heater
2.) Our refrigerator
3.) Our Suburban

Today I am grateful to cross one barely working item off of our list. It is blowing hot sweet heat!! I am grateful for Tyler's friend who came to check it and fixed it at no cost. I am grateful for handy friends and answered prayers.

Gratitude: Day 11

Day 11

I am grateful for gifts of the heart. It's BIRTHDAY TIME around here. Reilly just turned 18 and Kameron just turned 14. We have been doing a lot of celebrating. This year I have really noticed and appreciated the "gifts of the heart" that have been given from my children to one another. Some have been things they have purchased but most were things they already had and someone else admired, or  things they made, or were gifts of service. Tyler and I have been really touched by the thoughtfulness they have all shown to one another. They were so excited to give each other their gifts. Even the little girls put so much thought and love into their gifts that it reached in and touched the hearts of those cranky teens. Bryn made us all laugh and tear up when she said, "I am about to cry with joy" when she was giving her gift to Kameron and then she did just that. It was the sweetest thing ever. I love these great kids of ours and the tender and loving hearts that they have.

Gratitude: Day 10

Day 10

I am grateful for Thai food.  I mean like REALLY REALLY REALLY grateful!! It is my all time favorite cuisine. A world without Thai food is not a world that I want to live in. I need my pad thai, curries, peanut sauce, stir-frys, and soups. Especially on cold winter nights!!

Tonight I went out to dinner with my Mom, Kelley, and Elle. We went out for Thai. It was just what the doctor ordered. Especially since it was also our first snow and about 20 degrees. Boo all around. Some how pad thai, spring rolls, and peanut sauce made it all magically better.

I am grateful for Thai food.

Gratitude: Day 9

Day 9

I am grateful for all the inspired youth programs of our church. Parenting is difficult. It's seriously the hardest thing that I have ever done and will probably ever do. It is impossible to do it alone. Even if you are the most contentious parent, the most involved parent, and the most deliberate parent. It's hard. You need a network. A vast network of relatives, neighbors, teachers, friends, coaches, ward members and Him.

I gave a talk in church this year on Grace. One of the ways that I most feel His grace in my life is in my role as a parent. In my talk I said this:

In preparing this talk I was thinking about grace in my own life. How do I utilize this enabling power regularly? And...the number one thing that came to my mind was parenting. I am the mother of four amazing kids and I can tell you that parenting is the most challenging thing Tyler and I have ever done and continue to do. It was so much easier when the kids were little... it could be exhausting...but it was definitely easier. I was ill-prepared for how gut-wrenchingly difficult it can be to parent and to try to parent well as our kids have gotten older and two of them are now teenagers. The world they live in and the things face each day are not only terrifying but they are spiritually dangerous. There are many times when Tyler and I feel completely inadequate about how to help them, what say, how to uplift them, and how to combat the negativity and adversity they face. They come home from school weighed down physically, emotionally, and spiritually. They have been battling all day and it is our job as parents to protect them, lift them, nurture them, comfort them, provide wise counsel, guide them, and be able to answer those tough questions when they arise. Tyler and I often feel like we are just  “winging it” and we would be, if not for Christ, and that is where grace come in. Prayers without number are offered and answered, promptings come when needed, words, thoughts, and plans of action come to our minds when counsel and guidance are given, and more times than I can count peace comes to worried parents. Christ takes two imperfect and inadequate parents... who are trying their best and often failing... and He helps, lifts, strengthens, heals, comforts, guides, and enlightens, and He forgives...for that, I am tremendously grateful. Christ doesn't make up the difference...He is all the difference.  

The youth programs of the church are a gift. A gift to help us in our roles as parents. Primary, Young Womens, and Young Men. They are there to help us guide and direct our children in positive directions and toward the Lord. Today we had a bounteous day at church. It was the Primary Program. Who doesn't feel the Spirit during the Primary Program? Ailey and Bryn both had parts and Ailey was part of two different singing groups. It was fantastic. I cannot hear the song The Family Is of God without crying.

Then in Young Women one of the Laurels had earned her Young Womanhood Recognition Award and the whole hour was devoted to celebrating this achievement. She was one of my little Activity Day girls (both she and Reilly were) and I remember her bringing her little Faith in God booklet and showing me all the things that she had done to get marked off. I remember doing activities under the Preparing for Young Women section and talking to the girls about accomplishing these goals. How special it was to be in Young Women with both Reilly and Jenna, and to see that they accomplished those goals that they had set when they were eight years old. So very special.

After Church Kameron was interviewed and found worthy to be ordained to the office of a teacher next Sunday. The Young Mens program does just as much in strengthening the youth, teaching them to be leaders, helping them to serve, and turning their lives to Christ. 

It was quite a spectacular Sunday. I am so grateful that our Father in Heaven loves His children and that he provides so much support to parents as they raise their children and come unto Christ.

Yea, Come unto Christ and be perfected in Him, and deny yourself of all ungodliness. (Moroni 10:32)

I have seen so much spiritual growth in all of our children this year and the youth programs of the church have played a large part. I am grateful for the youth programs of the church.

Gratitude: Day 8

Day 8


I am grateful for my dream jobs. Once about a year ago, on a long road trip, Tyler asked me what my dream job would be. I thought about it for a minute and then came to the somewhat surprising realization that I was actually already doing my dream job. I was kind of floored because I had just never really thought about it like that before but it was true.

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a nurse like my mom. Then I became a candy striper and realized that, nope, this was not for me. Then when I was in junior high and for the first part of high school I thought that I wanted to be a journalist.  I took several years of journalism in high school and wrote articles for my high school newspaper and then I realized that I didn't want to do that either. Then I thought I might like to be a TV journalist. My high school boyfriend, Aaron, worked for a news station in Kansas City. The nightly news anchor was a family friend and got him hired on to work with the camera crew. He got to do so many cool and interesting things and I was intrigued. Due to his job we hung out at the new station a lot. It was so interesting. I became friends with the on -air anchors, camera people, and the-behind-the-scenes producers, editors, and crew. They would let me sit in the anchor chair after the news had aired sometimes and pretend to read the news off the teleprompter and even filmed me doing it once for extra credit for my journalism class. I got to pretend to do the weather and see how the green screen worked. I learned that, at least back then, most of the anchors were usually only in their business attire from the waist up and jeans or shorts from the waist down...especially the sportscaster!! On prom night Aaron and I were asked to come in and be interviewed about prom. It was a lot of fun but I soon realized that it wasn't all that glamorous, I was shy about calling people for interviews, and I loathed myself on video...so goodbye TV journalism.

Then my senior year I decided that I might like to be a psychologist. I was taking both a psychology and a sociology class in high school and loved them. My parents were divorcing that year, and it was nasty and brutal on all of us, so we were in some serious family and individual counseling. I loved counseling. Chatting about all my problems, worries, fears, and anger in a safe environment was wonderful. I loved going. I thought I had found my future career. I went on to study psychology at BYU and loved it. I did a lot of volunteer work with various agencies in that field and as an adult I worked for a time in the social work field with foster kids. But once again...not my dream job.

Meanwhile I went on to have the most darling baby girl and couldn't bear the thought of handing her over to someone else to watch during the day while I went to work. Tyler supported my decision...technically our decision... and worked two jobs for years to support our family financially and I became a full time stay at home mother. Then when Ailey was a baby my mom and I started talking about having a little crafting business of some kind together. I loved being creative and crafty and was just starting to have a little more time to actually do things like that by that particular stage in my life. My mom and I loved going to antiques shows and vintage sales together and we thought that it might be something fun to do. So we signed up to do Farm Chicks for the first time and actually got in. We convinced Stacey and Kelley to join us. We had a very successful show and were bit by the vintage bug. After a while Kelley dropped out of the business and Stacey, my mom, and I began going full force. This worked out well for me as it was something that I could do from home, on my own time, and that worked around my kids, and my family's schedules. Our business continued to grow and evolve and here we are today.

It was a wonderful realization to know that I AM doing my dream job. I am a full time mother and I have this business on the side that allows me to do fun things, work with my mom and sister, meet amazing people, travel, is a fantastic creative outlet, and brings in supplemental money for our family. I am doing my dream job. It was so nice to realize that... It brought such contentment and peace to my life. Of course, Sisters Creed is still expanding and evolving. We are probably adding a California show to our roster for 2015 and we still have dreams of Round Top, Texas and shows back east. There are still big goals to accomplish, and my full-time mothering is in full swing, but I absolutely love it! There is never a dull moment around here and I still find being a stay at home mother rewarding.

What a blessing!! So many people are discontent. They aren't doing what they want to be doing or aren't in the career that they wish they were in. I am grateful that I am on the career path(s) that I want to be on and that I am doing what I want to be doing.

Gratitude: Day 7

Day 7

My section of our three booth space

I am grateful for family and friends that support my dreams. This weekend Sisters Creed was participating in a big vintage show in Kalispell. Montana...The Vintages Whites Christmas Market. So me, Tyler, my mom, and Stacey packed up our trailers and hit the road for Montana. It's a four hour trip from where I live to Kalispell. Tyler and I headed out bright and early on Friday morning. We stopped for a hardy breakfast on our way and met up with my mom and Stacey in time for set up at the venue. Set up day is notoriously stressful and this was no different. We figured out the layout of our big triple booth. We divided it up into three sections: Kristin's, Stacey's and my mom's. This is absolutely the best way to do it. Everyone was working hard on their sections and we were getting down to the last 2 hours of set up when I realized that I didn't have all my Christmas bins. DISASTER! This is first and foremost a Christmas Show and to not have all my Christmas merchandise was devastating.  I was absolutely sick. A quick call home to Reilly revealed that yes...a huge bin of Christmas decor was sitting in a dark corner of the garage. What to do?! Tyler and I decided that we would have to go home and get it. This is a one day show and having the holiday merchandise was critical.  Lucky for us, Reilly and her boyfriend, offered to drive and meet us part way and deliver the missing items. Hallelujah. That would cut our trip down from an 8 hour round trip to just four hours. So while it was still horribly inconvenient for all involved, it was manageable.

Thank goodness the weather was okay and the roads were dry. At about 8:30 pm we met up with Reilly and Justin...made the exchange...filled up his truck with gas...gave him a monetary tip...laughed with them for about 15 minutes... and headed on our way. 

We got back to Kalispell super late and we were completely exhausted but feeling better all around. We were able to get into the show venue early the next morning and Tyler and I completed my set up. Whew!! We went on to have an AMAZINGLY SUCCESSFUL show!! The missing items were worth several hundred dollars, and as luck would have, it I sold nearly everything from the missing bin. It was worth the late night road trip!!

I am grateful for amazing family and friends who go out of their way to help me follow my dreams.

I am especially grateful for this guy who loads the trailer, drags it where it needs to go, helps with set up and tear down, finds me great deals on furniture, and comes along on my many treasure hunting expeditions. Here he is figuring out our credit card scanning issues.

I am grateful for our teenagers (and their friends) who lug furniture and bins all over the place and help load and unload the trailer and meet in a cold mountain town on a dark night to deliver forgotten wares!! I am grateful for our little girls who have great eyes and can spot awesome merchandise at estate sales, thrift stores, yard sales, and off the side of the road!! 

I am grateful for my sister Kelley who kept a motherly eye on all the kids at our house while we were out of town, ran carpool for all our kids...including taking kids to swimming, jazz band, the music store for unexpected trumpet repairs, and had Ailey and Bryn sleep over at her house while we were gone. It made heading out of town so much easier knowing that she was near by.

Not to mention all the friends who call me to say they/their husband/their mother-in-law/neighbor/whoever has a piece of furniture that I might want, or that they saw a great estate sale that had tons of things I would like, or who find great things and buy them...knowing I will want them!! Not to mention all our vendor and show promoter friends who have encouraged us and supported us all these years. It truly makes our business such a pleasure. So yeah... I am grateful for you all!!

Gratitude: Day 6

Day 6:

I am grateful for good cardiology appointments. Today Tyler had another appointment with his cardiologist. They ran a bunch more blood work and did another EKG. Good News!! He is doing great!! All of his blood work levels are fantastic. Even though all of his HDL, LDL, Triglycerides, heart rate, and blood pressure etc were always normal, his cardiologist wanted them even lower now that Tyler is officially diagnosed as having heart disease. :( But the great news is that Tyler has done it. He got all those levels even lower and right where the doctor wanted them to be. Hooray! Plus, his EKG looked great...nothing weird. Whew. So yeah... I am grateful for good cardiology appointments, stents, medication, cardiologists, and most of all...Tyler.

Gratitude: Day 5

Day 5:

I am grateful for letters like this. Most days I wonder...am I a good parent? Am I teaching these kids what they need to know to be successful in life? Do they know who they are...a precious child of God? Do they know how amazing they are? Do they know how loved they are by their father and me?  I wonder...how bad are we actually screwing them up? Will they forgive us for all the mistakes we have made...are making...and will continue to make? Am I a good mother? Am I doing enough? Are they listening? Are they learning anything from us/me that will actually help them in life or keep them safe? Am I their example of what not to be? And...the ever nagging...will they all turn out okay? These are thoughts that keep me up some nights worrying. Especially as our oldest child prepares to leave the nest. I do love that fathers are so different from mothers. It gives our parenting a nice balance. Tyler sleeps soundly most nights fully confident in our parenting skills and in our children's ability to turn out amazing. I need a little more of that I guess. So when letters like this come in the mail... I am grateful. Proof. We must be doing ok. Yay Kam!!

Student of the Month

Gratitude: Day 4

Day 4:

 Today is election day. I am grateful for the right to vote. I consider it a sacred duty. I am blessed to live in a wonderful country where I have the right to voice my opinion and make changes in our government and it's laws and policies. I try to be an informed voter. I do my best to vote for the politicians and policies that I feel would be in the  best interest of our country. It's not always easy, but I do my best. Tyler and I are raising our children to be informed voters. Both of our teenagers could sit down with you today and discuss what was on the ballot, how they would have voted, and why. I love that!! Reilly missed voting for the first time by almost a week. (She turns 18 on Sunday.)  I appreciate and respect our democratic process. It isn't lost on me...and something that I think about every election day...that this was a right that my great-grandmothers didn't always have in their lifetimes. Sobering. I am grateful for the right to vote and the opportunity that I have to participate in our nation's political process.

Gratitude: Day 3

Day 3: Heroes

Today I am grateful for heroes. The world might say that they are just ordinary people but I say that they are extraordinary heroes and they have inspired me more than anyone famous ever could. They are not famous actors, or athletes, or rock stars, or musicians, or politicians. They are so much more than that. Their shining examples of courage, hope, selflessness, strength, service, unconditional love, perseverance, kindness, devotion, faithfulness, loyalty, grace, and humor shine more brightly than any star, celestial or otherwise, ever could. I am grateful to be their niece.

Uncle Mike and Aunt Bonnie

Uncle John 

Uncle Mike, Aunt Bonnie, and Uncle John I am grateful for you. Who you are, who you have been, and who you will be. You have set shining examples that will ripple through our family for generations. We are forever changed for the better. I love you.

"...Although I may not be my brother's keeper, I am my brother's brother..." ~ Elder Jeffery R. Holland 

Gratitude: Day 2

Day 2:

I am grateful for fasting. Hmmm...I never really thought that I would ever say that; but it is true. Particularly today. Today is Fast Sunday. I am a regular faster but it isn't something I would ever say that I was excited about or looking forward to. Not so today. Today our family joined other family members, friends, and wards to fast for a dear family member. My uncle received a stem cell transplant on Halloween and the donor was his brother...another sweet uncle. The days following the transplant are critical. This has been a time of worry, prayer, love, hope, and appreciation for our extended family. My aunt and uncle are far away from their home as my uncle receives cancer treatment and not really close to any family members. It is excruciating to be far away and not able to do something/anything to help those that I love. Today was a day that I could really do something tangible for all involved and I was looking forward to it. Of course I have fasted and prayed mightily many many times as my uncle has been on this cancer journey but today it felt different. I felt the power that comes from fasting for maybe the first time and I didn't feel so helpless. I know that there is great power in fasting and prayer. I was so grateful to join in with so many loved ones today and to have fasted and prayed for those I love and who mean so much to me.