Tuesday, July 06, 2021

June: Day 14

Day 14: Who are my people?

Well... I would say that group is smaller than who I thought it was a few years ago. My eyes are WIDE OPEN and I am now able to see the people in my life for who they actually are. I am grateful for the discernment. While initially quite painful... I have grown over time to see it as a gift. It has become CRYSTAL clear. I know those who are truly in my corner. I know those who are fair-weather and lip service friends and family. I sadly know those who are enemies and those who actually don't care enough to be any of the above. It's been painful and freeing. Goodbye to obligations of the past, present, or bloodline. Hello to true friends and family who stand by your side and lift and strengthen you! I am so grateful for them. There is no denying who they are. Hello to community and those who encircle and envelope my family and myself in love. They are the keepers. Family is who you make it. I am grateful for mine!



Friday, July 02, 2021

June: Day 13

 Day 13: I am proud of myself for...

Getting through this last year of family betrayal and drama (seems like too understated a word) with my integrity, dignity, character, self-respect, and sanity intact. It's been no easy feat! It's actually been one of the most difficult things that I have ever done. The high road isn't an easy road. I have been attacked on every level personally and publicly. My name, character, and reputation has been dragged through the mud over and over and over again. I have been called every kind of vicious, vile, and hateful name possible both personally and publicly. I have been vilified and attacked along with my husband, kids, brother, and sister-in-law. We've been lied about and treated like crap by people who I thought were friends and supportive family. Still...I have kept true to myself and my integrity and values. I can look myself in the mirror every day and like who I see. And one day I will be able to look my mother in the eye and have nothing to regret or be ashamed of. I am at peace with me.

Wednesday, June 30, 2021

June: Day 12

Day 12: I am listening to...

My weird season of life continues. My listening/music life reflect that I am still not back normal. My attention span continues to be very short and that is hard with playlists and audiobooks. Despite that I still enjoy my Spotify. A LOT!  I love making playlists and sharing playlists with friends and family. It's the new 80s mixed tape! LOL. My current favorite Spotify playlist is one that my friend Ray made and shared with me. He had a FABULOUS 80s playlist going at his daughter's graduation party a few weeks ago! I've been listening to it a lot! 

I also...very weirdly because it is not my musical genre...have been listening to Christian worship music. It's taking me back to my high school Young Life days and going to youth group with some of my KC friends. The music has definitely improved!! I now have my own worship music playlist. It's pretty fabulous if I do say so myself and it really does make me feel better to listen to it!

But podcasts are still king in my listening world...perfect little bites of entertainment. That is about all that my brain can handle these days.

My current favorite podcasts are:



I adore Dax Shepard.


So funny!


I love all of the Brat Pack and Outsiders inside scoop that is in nearly every episode.


I love a deep dive! Even on Mormon Mommy Bloggers. 
Her take is *interesting* but not offensive.


I love me some introspection!


My all time favorite book podcast! 

This is particularly funny since I barely have the attention span to read books right now but I do enjoy hearing about them!

What does this say about me? 2021 is still weird. I'm looking for comfort (80s nostalgia and books.) I need and crave laughter and humor. I'm in a super introspective phase aka the worship music (who am I?) and the questions and Deep Dives! In short: I'm going deep within myself. I need comfort and nostalgia. And...I want to laugh a lot. It could be worse! 


Sunday, June 27, 2021

June: Day 11

Day 11: Product recommendation

This: Living Proof Dry Shampoo


And...

This: Living Proof Dry Volume Blast


Both are daily necessities in my life! I highly recommend!

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

June: Day 10

 Day 10: My Mantra Is...


This includes time, energy, effort, and attention. I heard this quote on the Alison Show Podcast and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It resonated. I put it into effect a year prior to my mother's death and now it is even more necessary in my life. It has become one of my guiding rules and principles.

Time, energy, attention, and effort are precious commodities. I no longer waste them on those who are toxic, negative, and drain me. I prefer to invest in people who fill me with light, love, positivity, kindness, friendship, and inspiration. This phrase has been key in setting boundaries. Obviously I serve and help those who do not invest in me but as far as relationships go... this is definitely my mantra and it has served me well.

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

June: Day 9

 Day 9: Something I believe



And so are you!

This is my core belief. I have a Father in Heaven who loves me unconditionally. He cares about me and the details of my life. He hears my prayers. He guides my life and my decisions. He helps me to feel peace. 


Sunday, June 20, 2021

June: Day 8

 Day 8: My favorite place to be

On our boat, with my family, in the middle of a lake! It doesn't get much better!


Friday, June 18, 2021

June: Day 7

Day 7: What I would tell myself a year ago? 

Things will get better...and then get REALLY hard...and then get better again. There is a light at the end of the COVID tunnel. You can handle Kameron going on a mission. :)

Things that were happening around this time last year: 

We were prepping Kam for his mission and buying all of the things that he was going to need. He would leave in a month.

Temples were all closed and we were wondering how in the world missionaries were going to be sent out without going through the temple first.

MTCs were closed and missionaries were going to have to do home MTC.

COVID cases were spiking.

Meki was very sick with COVID.

Race riots were happening, civil unrest, and violent mobs were occurring in Seattle, Portland, and Minneapolis. Kam's *safe* sounding mission call wasn't sounding so safe anymore.

My mom's Sandpoint house was on the market.

Nearly everything you could imagine was cancelled.

Drive thru graduations, parties, weddings, and funerals were a thing.

Parks and playgrounds finally opened. 

I did my first Costco run in months.

We were still having home church with no end in sight.

Ailey and Bryn were finishing up online school since in-person school had been closed since March.

There were truly awful and extremely painful interactions going on with my sisters.

I was trying to cope with the thought of not seeing one of my children for 2 years which filled me with panic.

Things felt very uncertain...scary...lonely...unending.

I coped by gardening, being outside, sunshine, water, exercising, journaling, and daily walks.

Thursday, June 17, 2021

June: Day 6

 Day 6: Someone I love

My sister-in-law Meki

Of course I could list all kinds of people here: Tyler, my kids, my mom, my brother, friends, Jesus etc. But there is one person who while always being a loving sister to me has stepped up even more in my life and that is Meki. I am so grateful for her friendship and sisterhood. Meki has many amazing qualities but the one that I love the most is her ability to gather people, love, and nurture them. She gathers so many people and brings them into her family and loves them like no one I've ever seen. Holidays at Kirk and Meki's house include ex-spouses, ex-in-laws, friends, people who lived with her as a youth that her dad took in when they needed a home, Tyler's brother, wife, and daughter, Tyler's sister...and the list goes on and on. It is inspiring. Once you are part of Meki's circle she never lets you go. You are her family forever. (Kirk is really good at this too!) When Reilly lived in Utah they showered her with so much love, support, and affection. She still basks in it. Doesn't everyone need people like this in their lives? I know that I do. Especially now.

When I have been in the midst of the darkest days... death of my mother, family betrayal, heart surgeries, and all of the lonely scary COVID times... Meki has been a cheerleader and support. She has "sistered" me and shown me what true sisterly love looks like. Turns out I have never experienced it. She has "mothered" me. She said things to me while in those dark times that I saved and wrote down and looked back on. Those words gave me strength when I was drowning in fear during Tyler's two heart procedures. I read those words over and over again. 

Meki cries with me. She laughs with me. She cheers me on. She sits with me in grief. She loves whole-heartedly and unconditionally. She loves and champions my children and "Aunts" them like they have never been loved and championed before by any of their aunts. She is a cohort, ally, and partner in crime with Tyler and as the two favorite "in-laws" and they have a special bond. She loves my brother dearly. I couldn't have hand picked a better spouse for him. She is an incredible mother to all of their children. Meki is the kind of person that you want in your corner. She is truly the best and I am so grateful to have her in my life! She inspires me to be a better person. A more inclusive person. A more loving person. A gatherer. 


Tuesday, June 15, 2021

My 49th Birthday!

In true Kristin celebratory fashion I stretched out my birthday into a birthday weekend! My birthday started out pretty fabulous with an early morning temple trip. This was extra special because it was Bryn's first time going to the temple. She was SO EXCITED! It was really neat that Tyler, Ailey, and I were all there with her. Our temple is still only in phase 2B. 


Check out that angelic halo! 

I loved that Bryn got to be there with some of her best friends who were also going for the first time. It was a very special morning. Ailey and Bryn brought family names and I loved hearing those sweet family names being done. Johnson, Johnson, Johnson, Egbers, Johnson etc. Ailey found names on both my side and Tyler's side. There were quite a few for Tyler's side of the family because his dad was a convert. It definitely brought tears to my eyes. I got to be a witness for the first time. I loved it! Tyler did confirmations and the whole experience was amazing! Our friend Aaron, who is in the bishopric with Tyler said, "Look at Bryn! She's glowing." It was true. She was absolutely beaming. 

After our session at the temple we went out for Thai food for my birthday lunch! It was so good! I even got one of my very favorite desserts. Sticky Black Rice with Coconut Cream. Heavenly!

Kam called me just as we were finishing lunch. We video chatted with him out in the parking lot for about an hour. That was so much fun! I do not know how parents survived only talking to their missionaries twice a year or even less depending on the mission. I am so grateful for the change. I think it is so good for both the families AND the missionaries.

After we got home my good friends, Mary and Shannon, came over. They had all kinds of birthday gifts for me. They are the sweetest! It is such a PLEASURE to hang out with friends in OUR HOUSE!! Later that afternoon we went shopping and then Tyler, the kids, and I drove up to Long Lake to check out the boat launches. It looked so beautiful! I can't wait to get on the water!

That night we attended a double graduation party for two kids that we love and have watched grow up: Emma and Dallin. The party was held at our friends, Sarah and Dan's, house. It was so fun to celebrate these two great kids. One is headed to BYU and one is headed out on a mission. We had such a fun night with friends! I saw some of my friends that I haven't seen in over 16 months! It felt so good to hug them. God Bless Vaccines! We had such a great time!

I opened gifts and had my cake late that night. Tyler got me my favorite Swedish Princess Cake. Truly the most delicious cake! MARZIPAN! I got some great gifts too! Tyler got me a VERY nice paint sprayer that will cut down my painting time immensely. I cannot wait to try it out! He also got me a huge spray painting tent. I am super excited! The girls got me some sprouters and two kinds of seeds. I am turning into my mother and growing my own sprouts. She grew sprouts all the time when I was a kid. She had just gotten a sprouting kit before she passed away and was excited to give it a whirl. (I'm not sure where that one went.) Anyway... the girls knew that I really wanted one. I LOVE alfalfa sprouts on sandwiches and salads and they are hard to find these days. 

The next morning I had to be at the stake center very early to set up for Eight is Great. It is a meeting and breakfast for all of the kids in our stake who are turning eight and will be baptized in the next six months. We talked about baptism, Primary Activities, the new Children and Youth Program etc. I spoke about the Children and Youth Program which is a very cool goal setting program. Kids set goals in four areas: spiritual, intellectual, physical, and social. Our meeting went well! The cool thing was that it was the first church meeting that I didn't have to wear a mask! Our stake sent out an email this week saying that if you've been vaccinated you no longer have to wear a mask at church. Yay!

After that it was stake conference which was being live streamed so I headed home. We watched part of it at home and then listened to more as we drove to Coeur d' Alene where we met Reilly at the Coeur d' Alene Resort for brunch.

Literally one second after Tyler took this picture he knocked orange juice all over me and Reilly! Good grief! The CDA resort isn't doing their big fancy brunch buffet due to COVID but they still have a delicious brunch that you can order from a menu that is served until 2pm. So good.

Despite the stormy weather...Lake Coeur d' Alene looked so beautiful and people were even parasailing. Crazies! It was chilly!

Hunter wasn't able to come so it was fun having our three girls to ourselves!

Birthdays can sometimes make me emotional and overly sensitive. I got my feelings hurt for part of the brunch which wasn't fun. Adult children. They aren't easy. Luckily it didn't last for too long. I was already sad about another birthday without my Mom, and missing Kameron, and well... there you go.

After I got rage (the orange juice situation) and sadness (hurt feelings/missing people) out of the way I ended up having a fun time and got some good laughs in too. I guess that is life. It's always a mixture of highs and lows.  


This was the gooey of the month: Sour Watermelon. Oh yes, we got it and it was FABULOUS! Perhaps the best gooey yet!!

After that we drove up Fourth of July Canyon (truly the best named canyon ever) to Kellogg, ID and Silver Mountain Ski Resort. We have wanted to ride the gondola for awhile now (in non-ski season) but it was closed last summer due to COVID. It's open now and it was absolutely gorgeous!


Did Ailey have any fear of height issues on this? Nope. 
She said it was because it wasn't open air. Good to know.



We walked around up at the top and marveled at the beauty. There is a lodge/restaurant up there too. The air felt so crisp and clean. Reilly kept commenting on how fresh the air was and how much she just wanted to keep breathing it in. We are pretty lucky that Spokane usually has great air quality (except for forest fire season) but even I was surprised at how different the air felt up at the top. 






As we were looking at these beautiful vistas we were talking about my mom. I was telling the girls about how when I was a kid and we would drive up to the lake from Utah...every time we got past Missoula and started heading into the beautiful thickly forested mountains...my mom would always sigh and say how happy she was to be back in "beautiful mountains." She loved the drive up over Look Out Pass in Montana and into Idaho and onto Fourth of July Canyon and down into Coeur d' Alene. She would oohh and aahh and proclaim it the most beautiful place in the world. We kids were always stunned because we thought we lived in the most beautiful place in the world... Provo Canyon! How could she possibly think that these mountains were more beautiful than Timpanogos and Cascade!! And yet...she did. I love Provo Canyon more than just about any other place in the world but I think she was right and my family, on top of that mountain, agreed. There is something about mountains that are just trees on trees on trees that have my heart. I love coming home from Utah and stopping in Missoula and getting out and smelling the air. That intoxicating pine tree/water combination that smells heavenly and that tells you that you are almost home. 

It was funny because later than night Kam was asking us to send him more pictures from our little day trip. He wanted to see home and couldn't get enough pictures of the mountains and trees. When we talked to him the next day he said that as beautiful as so many places are that he has been; there is just something about those mountains and the CDA area. It doesn't get more beautiful. He pretty much quoted my mom verbatim. It was funny and sweet.


After we rode back down to the bottom we walked around the resort. Then we drove onto Wallace, Idaho. We love this cute picturesque town. We explored all over and drove up the mountain and by all of the miner houses high up on the steep mountain. We found a great stretch of the Trail of the Coeur d' Alenes to bike. We mapped out our route for our next big bike ride. We can't wait! Then it was back home for more cake!


Ailey and Bryn had done the cutest job decorating for my birthday! I loved it! It was a terrific birthday! Now onto planning all of the things I want to do before I turn the big 5-0!

Sunday, June 13, 2021

June: Day 5

Day 5: What I'm reading

I am always reading multiple books at at time. I am currently reading: 

My pleasure read: 

I am loving this WWII historical fiction novel.

My nighttime/insomnia/kindle book: 


I never read this book as a child. I am reading it on Tyler's recommendation. I am also rethinking taking Tyler's book recommendations! LOL.  At least it is doing the trick of lulling me back to sleep quickly!

My audiobook: 

Mermaid Horror

My Scripture Study/Devotional book: 

This book is really good and I am learning a lot!

Hmm...That is quite the combo!


Saturday, June 12, 2021

June: Day 4

 Day 4: A meal

Brunch


Thursday, June 10, 2021

June: Day 3

Day 3: Today looks like...

~I went outside and more of my roses are blooming!

~It's hot and humid.

~I talked to my friend Naomi and made plans to get together in Utah while we are there over the 4th.

~Went walking in the morning with Tyler.

~Got invited by the YW president to go to the temple on my birthday with Tyler, Ailey, and Bryn (and other youth). Woohoo! It will be Bryn's first time.

~Ailey had a dance team party at Baskin Robbins.

~Bryn went over to a friend's house for her a birthday.

~Kam had a good meeting with his Mission President. I'm glad that it went well and that he felt that it helped to get him out of his mid-mission slump and that restrictions will be lessening soon.

~Kam got his 2nd dose of the vaccine. Hooray!

~It was vendor night.

~We ate REALLY good nachos in CDA. Harder to find than you might think around here. 


Wednesday, June 09, 2021

June: Day 2

 Day 2: This month I will...



This is definitely a month to celebrate: birthdays, fathers, graduations, weddings, summer! I will also continue to celebrate that COVID restrictions are lessening and that our children (those who wish to be) are almost all fully vaccinated! I will celebrate the big and the little things. The exciting times and simple pleasures. Despite the fact that there are some stressors on the horizon. I am tired of stress and anxiety running the show. It is definitely time to CELEBRATE!

Tuesday, June 08, 2021

June: Day 1

 Day 1: Start with a Selfie


This is what I look like most days. I am usually in my painting clothes and working in my garage. Some days it's a messy bun and no make-up. I wear my painting clothes to pick up my kids and to run errands. I always have paint in my hair. This is me doing my thing and I love it!

Sunday, June 06, 2021

June Birthday Challenge 2021

June is my birthday month and I want to do something a little different this year. I am going to do one writing prompt per day. These prompts are taken from one of my favorite Instagrammers/Authors Laura Tremaine and her podcast 10 Things to Tell You. They are prompts for her #OneDayMay social media challenge but I am going to answer them on my blog and in the month of June. :) I am usually more reflective in June than any other month with the exception of January so it seems like the perfect time. We will see how it goes!

First up... Day 1: Start with a Selfie