Emotional

What a week it has been. I have been brought to my knees in prayer more times than I can count during the past week. It has been heart-wrenching. The tragedy in Connecticut  has cut deep. The faces, the parents, the responders, the images... I can't just blog about the fun and silly things that have happened around our house. Another day.

Let's start with the tragic events in Connecticut. I watched the events unfold throughout the day. In the morning while hustling my kids out the door I saw on the news that there was a shooting at an elementary school back east with a few injuries. I uttered a silent prayer. I dropped my kids off with a hasty kiss and I love you. As I drove away from my children's idyllic, close-knit elementary school feeling good about where they were. I again uttered a silent prayer for my own kids' safety and for the school in CT that all would be well. It was only upon returning home after preschool and a few errands that I learned the true horror. I sank to my knees. I couldn't drag myself away from the TV even though I couldn't bear to watch. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I am still praying. Once you are a mother every child is your child. I thought of my kids school and the toll that 20 lost children and 6 adult staff would take. HUGE. IMMENSE. We know our principle and love him. The teachers there feel like family. We know the kids...or at least the majority of the families we have interacted with in one way or another. 20 kids and 6 staff lost...catastrophic.

I was so happy and grateful that it was an early release day (I had just cursed early release two days prior) now I embraced it whole-heartily. As I pulled into the carpool line and saw Kameron and Ailey smiling and waving at me I cried...tears of joy and gratitude...and sorrow...for those parents who wouldn't have this experience. As they climbed in the car I hugged them long and hard and told them how much I loved them. The aid that helped them in looked at me with tears in her eyes too. Teachers huddled outside the kindergarten door talking quietly. As I drove away from my children's school I prayed for those not so fortunate that day.

We are an affectionate family. We hug, kiss, cuddle, and tell one another we love each other. But still...we hugged and cuddled, and told each other we loved each other through out the weekend...and we prayed as a family...and we talked.

We talked about the tragedy in varying degrees with our school age kids. We tried to keep them away from the news as much as possible. We answered questions as best we could. I dried the tears of our, at times, self-absorbed teenager as she talked about how the big brothers and sisters from the high school in Newtown rushed to the elementary school to make sure their siblings were safe. We tried our best to answer hard hard questions. How could this happen? Why did he do that? Who could kill little kids? Where is it safe? How do you answer that question? How do you tell them the truth...that there is no safe place.

Tyler and I had long, hard, emotional conversations...about things like gun control, school safety precautions and the lack thereof, mental illness, evil in the world...and the unanswerable...such as ...how do we keep our children safe? How do we prepare them to live in a world like this that is only going to get worse? How do we teach them to live each day to the fullest and without regrets while not teaching them to live in fear?

Things have changed so drastically since we were kids. So many things that I took for granted as a child my kids haven't experienced. The carefree, innocent, running wild around town childhood I had growing up, my children have never experienced...or only in small doses. What kind of world will they see when they are parents? How much worse will it be? Or are we already there?  To use the old frog analogy but with a different twist...are we the frogs in the pot...thinking it can still get a lot hotter (worse) while we are already swimming in boiling water?

What's a parent to do? Pray...it's the only answer I have.

The tragedy in CT wasn't the only event that brought us down hard on our knees.  Nothing strikes fear in the heart of a parent like hearing the words "We'd like to refer your son to a pediatric cardiologist." Kameron's heart murmur sounded a little different than the run of the mill heart murmur. Our pediatrician told us not to worry he just wanted Kameron checked out by an expert. Yeah, easier said than done. Even though I didn't think Kam had a serious problem it was still impossible not to worry about the what-ifs. Kam is fine...just an innocent heart murmur nothing serious. Thank goodness.

We also worried about a beloved uncle who was experiencing a scary health crisis, in addition to the cancer he is already bravely fighting. As my mom and her siblings drove through the night to gather in his hospital room to give love and support...our family was on our knees as we prayed and fasted. Even the little ones would not be left out of fasting and praying. They HAD to be a part of it. They refused to be left out. The faith of children is a beautiful and inspiring thing. They called home during the day to check in during his surgery and to see if I had "heard anything"...they fasted and prayed for good news. It came.


Now...this mother's heart needs some Christmas cheer, some joy, happiness, and silliness.Yet, I will continue to pray for those who will not receive it this year.

I am grateful for prayer.

Oh Happy Day!!

I finally got my dang blog to upload pictures again. I feel like someone has taken duct tape off my mouth. I didn't realize how much I would miss posting pictures and blogging. It is such a great outlet for my thoughts and feelings and a photo journal of our family. So good news. I am back!!


Here's what you missed:

1.) Thanksgiving

 This year, at our house, we added a Thankful Tree to the decor. After grousing about cutting the branches and making the leaves it turned out to be really great. Everyone added lots of things that they were thankful for and it was fun to read all the new additions each day.  The thankful tree will return next year.

 This was before it was even fully loaded. Some people wrote funny things, some wrote sweet things and some wrote really touching things. It was great!!

At preschool Bryn made a bevvy of Thanksgiving hats which traveled with her to my Mom's house to wear on the big day.

I present...

The Pilgrim (which she demanded was really an elf hat)

And the Indian

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving up at my Mom's house. It was seriously one of the best. We had so much fun, ate amazing food, hung out, created things for our Sisters Creed Christmas Sale and RELAXED. It was awesome.  It was a small gathering this year. Stacey was hosting some of John's family at her house and Kelley went down to join them. Kirk and Jordin and their families weren't able to travel out this year and even Ken was spending Thanksgiving with his son's family. Regardless, it was fantastic to have my mom all to ourselves and create some new Thanksgiving traditions. Pie anyone? Ha ha.

The day after we met up with family out at the lake...Aunt, Uncle, Cousins, Granny. It was a lot of fun. I am THANKFUL to have such loving relatives who are freaking hilarious and amazing cooks. Hopefully all of my laughing worked off some of Jen's delicious treats. (Totally forgot to take pictures...you know...due to all the laughing and eating.)

 

 My mom decorated in an all white theme and it was gorgeous. We, as is our tradition, ate by candlelight and it was beautiful...as is everything she does. We are thankful for her!!

Here are a few grainy iPhone pictures:

We were up until the wee hours of the morning making rolls and pies. Tyler too. He is the roll master. We always use his Grandma Kofford's Parker House Roll recipe. It is the BEST!!

The master at work.

 

  The master with her willing assistant.

 My mom put up her Christmas tree...but not any Christmas decorations or ornaments. I really liked that idea. You still got this gorgeous glowing tree but without all the Christmas hoopla. Nice.

II.) We had our big Christmas Sale. It was wildly successful and so much fun!!

 III.) We decorated our house and put up our three trees. Yes, three. We live in a dollhouse sized house but we have three trees. It's awesome. Things are getting quite festive around here.

IV.) We have hung out quite a lot with cousins on various occasions.

Bryn and Elle

Haylee and Ailey

Kameron and Grace

  

 Bryn and Gavin...they totally crack me up

V.) We welcomed this DARLING GIRL to the family!! Congratulations to Hannah and Justin. There really couldn't be a family and extended family more excited for this sweet baby's arrival.

The beautiful Paige Noel

There has been more...another visit from Crazy Ernie the Urban Logger. Remember him?  Luckily not to our house. We aren't stupid...but one of our neighbors is. Clearly he didn't get the memo the last time Ernie and his band of idiots visited our neighborhood. (A post all it's own.)

We attended a Nutcracker party and dressed up for A Night in Bethlehem Party. Tyler got called to be the 1st counselor in the Elder's Quorum. Kameron was made a deacon and has been passing the Sacrament with great aplomb and got to give his first talk in Sacrament Meeting last Sunday as a Youth Speaker. He did a great job!! We have worried and prayed for and, as of yesterday, rejoiced about a favorite uncle. Found out that a dear friend is moving to Chicago and I am totally bummed. We got to go to Parent Teacher conference and have it confirmed that we have some smart and awesome kids. Reilly and Kam had their check-ups and it is confirmed that Reilly is blind as a bat and Kam has a heart murmur. (Join the club...I do, Ailey does, and so does Bryn).

So things continue on...regardless of the lack of blogging. But if there is one thing that I know it is:

I LOVE BLOGGING!!

Thankful Day 23

I am thankful for my husband Tyler. He is awesome!! He gets me. Case in point...my sleep texting. Who knew? Apparently Reilly isn't the only one who does weird things while asleep. Friday night at my mom's I went to bed earlier than Tyler. He stayed up watching TV. I apparently texted this to him (in the living room) while I was sound asleep (in the downstairs guest room) at around midnight.

My Text: "In about 20 mins...the rv is still load"

(for the record we have no RV of any kind)

Tyler's Text back: "Ok and whatcha talkin about Willis?"

 (which I didn't see until the morning and made me laugh)

That right there is why our marriage works!! I love you Ty. :)

Thankful Day 22

I am thankful for Thanksgiving!! Halloween is pure craziness. Christmas is beautiful but stressful and busy. Thanksgiving is just delightful. No craziness, no stress, no gifts to buy, no Thanksgiving parties to attend, and 101 other activities. Thanksgiving is a quiet rest in a busy season that causes us to reflect on our blessings and be grateful for them. Spending time with family and being grateful. I love it. It's a beautiful thing.

The concept of Black Friday annoys me to no end. I absolutely loathe it. It is a vile thing. Black Friday tries to squeeze out Thanksgiving every single year. This year it was even more successful as employees had to run from their Thanksgiving dinners back to work on Thanksgiving night to be there for the masses. Forget being thankful Black Friday says. Forget everything that you were just grateful for...be greedy, pushy, and selfish. Focus on commercialism and on things that have no true value. Coincidence?  I hate it and I boycott it. If there were no shoppers more families could be together and focused on what truly matters which is not...for the record...a 60 inch flat screen TV for 300 bucks. 

 Hurray for Thanksgiving!!

***Our family's Thanksgiving was everything I wanted it to be. Peaceful, joyful, loving, full of gratitude and appreciation for our blessings. Sorry no pictures on the blog. You will have to check out FB and Instagram.***

 

Thankful Day 21

I am thankful that we are spending Thanksgiving at my mom's house. She does it up right!! Thanksgiving is always elegant, beautiful, delicious, fun and festive. I really appreciate all that my mom does to make the holidays special for her family. She is awesome!! If you want to read more about how the McClellans celebrate Thanksgiving you can read about it here.

We're outta here!!

Thankful Day 20

One thing I am not thankful for is getting a little message from Blogger telling me that I have used up all my picture storage space and that if I care to upload any more pictures I need to start paying monthly. So no pictures until I figure this thing out. So while I am not thankful for Blogger and their annoying ways... I am thankful for my blog because without it the past 6 years would have been a blur. 

Thankful Day 19

I am thankful for things that make the cold wet winter better. I am thankful for heated throw blankets, heated mattress covers, and heated cars...especially cars that are warmed up before I get into them. (Thanks Ty and Kam!!)

Thankful Day 18

I am thankful for Patriarchal Blessings. Today Tyler and I have the very special honor
of going with Reilly to meet with our Stake Patriarch for her to receive her Patriarchal Blessing. It was an amazingly humbling and sweet experience. I am so grateful that she chose to receive it and for the counsel, guidance and comfort it will bring to her.

Thankful Day 17

Blurry Picture...I know. In the one that turned out good Tyler was making a face at me. :(

I am thankful for friends that own cupcake shops/bakeries. Judy at Sweet Frostings takes good care of the Johnsons!! We love her...and her treats.

Thankful Day 16

I am thankful for kids who get involved and do good works. This last week we have had the opportunity to really watch our two older kids shine. Kameron and Reilly have done some great things lately.

Kameron:

1.)

He earned his Faith in God Award.

This is a program that is started at the age of 8 and is completed before kids turn 12. Kids learn to keep their gospel standards, work on goals in areas of: Learning and Living the Gospel, Developing Talents, Serving Others, Preparing for the Priesthood/For Young Women's (for girls). Kids log in hours of service and devotion. They work on accomplishing these goals for years. These little booklets I keep under lock and key because they all get signed off, dated, and what the project or service was...if one was to be lost...I don't even want to think about it. Earning this award is quite an accomplishment and this is in addition to completing all his Cub Scout Requirements and earning his Arrow of Light Award and completing his 11 year old Scout Requirements to earn his Tenderfoot. It is so imperative to a child's development that they learn to set and accomplish goals.

2.)

As one of the 6th Grade leaders at his school he had the privilege of being one of 4 students participating in the Veterans Day Assembly. Kam had the main part...he was conducting, welcoming veterans, and narrating the assembly along with his friend, Aidan. Kam's best friend, Jonathan, was another one of the 4 participating students and was one of the readers of the Veterans Day poem.

Aidan, Kameron and Jonathan

 Kameron did such a great job!! He really has such a love and respect for Veterans Day especially since he was born on it and has tried to learn as much as he can about this special day. If any of the kids had family members who were veterans they could invite them to attend and all the kids submitted names of family members who had ever served in the military and they flashed on the screen throughout the assembly. I was so touched to see the names Frank Ellersick, John McKinnon and Joel Erickson up on the screen. All such good and honorable men.

From farther back

Mrs. Antonio (Kam's teacher from last year and his all-time favorite teacher) came and sat by Tyler and I and said "How great is our boy?!!" Love her.

3.)

Then, of course, last Sunday when he was made a deacon and received the Aaronic Priesthood and sustained in Sacrament Meeting. He was so excited about that. He passes the Sacrament for the first time this Sunday. :)

Reilly:

1.)

Reilly had Young Women in Excellence last week. She had to do a talk and presentation on the value of Individual Worth. She really took the time and effort to write a great talk and to do such a good job...some girls just sort of winged it...but I was impressed with the thought she put into it. She also quoted me. Ha ha. So somewhere in between all that texing and surly behavior a few things are getting through to her. The bishop asked her to give her talk again in Sacrament Meeting that Sunday.

2.)

Last Sunday, not only was Kameron called up to the podium, but so was Reilly. She was recognized as now being a Laurel. This too is a stab in the heart. I swear it was yesterday that she was one of my Activity Day girls. Both the bishop and her Young Women's President had some really nice things to say about her.

3.)

At Young Women in Excellence, the Young Women's President was sharing with the parents how hard the girls are working on Personal Progress etc. and she said that there was one particular young woman who had completed her Personal Progress and already received her Young Womanhood Award and was starting all over and doing it for a second time. I leaned over to Reilly to ask who was doing that...and was absolutely shocked when she said "Hello!! It's me." Wow. That is the girls equivalent of the Eagle Scout Award and she is going to do it a second time. Go for it!!

4.) She also serves on our Stake's Youth Council.

It really does a mother's heart good to see her children accomplishing goals, serving others, doing good works, and getting involved in things that they are passionate about.

Love these two kids!!

P.S. Ailey and Bryn are awesome too. (They didn't want to be left out.)

Thankful Day 15

I am thankful for the sun. It is shining today. Full on shining...in a blue sky!! Some of you might take a sunny day for granted where you live but we certainly don't here in the Pacific Northwest...especially in November. Every sunny day is like a little gift and I very rarely fail to express my gratitude for it.

November is when the gloom kicks in around here. Gray on gray on gray days interspersed with rain and snow. Throw in Daylight Savings (you suck) and you have the perfect recipe for depression. You just have to hold on tight until June. The end of June that is...  :(

So yeah...it's been gloomy for about the past 15 days straight and it was bumming me out. But today...SUNSHINE!! Woohoo.

Thankful Day 14
 

I am thankful for good books that draw you into another time and place. I am especially thankful for fun reads on the heels of reading quite a few mediocre books lately. The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom came highly recommended by my sisters, friends, and even random people I met around town. By the time I got my hands on it I couldn't wait to dive in.

From Goodreads:

When a white servant girl violates the order of plantation society, she unleashes a tragedy that exposes the worst and best in the people she has come to call her family. Orphaned while on board ship from Ireland, seven-year-old Lavinia arrives on the steps of a tobacco plantation where she is to live and work with the slaves of the kitchen house. Under the care of Belle, the master's illegitimate daughter, Lavinia becomes deeply bonded to her adopted family, though she is set apart from them by her white skin.

Eventually, Lavinia is accepted into the world of the big house, where the master is absent and the mistress battles opium addiction. Lavinia finds herself perilously straddling two very different worlds. When she is forced to make a choice, loyalties are brought into question, dangerous truths are laid bare, and lives are put at risk.

While not fine literature per se it was definitely a compelling saga...and it had the added bonus of not having "If you loved Downton Abbey...you are sure to love this!!" on it's cover. (Why is that on every book lately?! It drives me nuts!!) I enjoyed how this story unfolded itself...not revealing it's background all at once. I liked how the story is told through the voices of two different women as the narration goes back and forth between them throughout the book. I particularly loved the interesting angle the author presents in a story about slavery and plantation life...of an orphaned Irish immigrant girl sent to work among the slaves. It offers a fresh perspective on plantation life all while never dismissing the unspeakable horror of slavery.

To me, the absolute heart of this story is Mama Mae and Papa George and their family. I loved and cared about this family so much. I was touched by their love for one another and others who come into their lives despite their complicated and complex relationships and the way that they found joy in the simple things of life.

The plot is suspenseful. It will keep you turning pages to find out what will happen next to characters that you have grown to love and root for...always the mark of a good book.

My criticisms are two fold. First, I wish the author would have dug deeper. There was so much more story to be told and I really wanted her to dig in but she didn't. Second, I didn't like the ending where you are left with a vague idea of what happens to the characters in the future. I have since read that the author is planning a sequel so that may explain the vagaries. Why do authors suddenly all feel the need to make a series of books? I am starting to truly appreciate the simple beauty of a well told tale completed in one thick and enjoyable book. Diana Gabaldon and George R. R. Martin have soured me on the never ending saga. Wrap things up people!!

My rating: Good

Thankful Day 13

I am thankful that our Sisters Creed business has some super exciting things coming up for the new year. We are scheduling our sales for 2013 and are beyond excited about some wonderful opportunities coming our way. Our business continues to grow and expand and we are so grateful. 

One of our exciting opportunities is a new vintage sale that will be held in March in... none other than... SALT LAKE CITY!! How fun!! We can't wait!!

Thankful Day 12

I am thankful that I am not a father of a teenage daughter. Being the mother of a teenage daughter is fraught with it's own issues but being a father of a teenage daughter is it's own brand of crazy. Case in point, Reilly has entered the wonderful (gulp) world of dating. At our house we have a little mantra that we like her to repeat frequently...and that is she dates at our "whim and pleasure". Meaning that dating is a privilege not a right and we have a say in how and when it is done. (How long this will last who knows? But we are sticking with it for now.) Anyway...we often say to Reilly "What do you date at?" and we demand she respond with "Your whim and pleasure." We keep this up multiple times a day. We want that to really sink into her thick skull. :)

The big day finally arrived. Today in fact. Reilly was going on her first date. We had several standards that had to be met for this date to occur. 1.) It had to be a group date, 2.) It had to be at a public place, 3.) She had to meet the kid there. (Absolutely no riding in cars with boys for her yet.) She readily agreed. Today the kids were out of school for Veterans Day and Tyler took the day off as well. Earlier today, as we were out running errands, we had this little exchange:

Ty: Are you FREAKING OUT?
Me: About what?
Ty: REILLY'S DATE!!
Me: Not particularly. Why are you?
Ty:  UH-YEAH. I couldn't sleep at all last night.
Me: You need to get a grip. This is a tame date. 

(They were meeting at the mall with a group of friends to go to an afternoon movie.)

Ty: It's still a date.
Me: What are you going to do when some loser shows up in a crappy car to pick her up to take her who knows where and to do who knows what?
Ty: OKAY! OKAY! STOP TALKING!!
Me: Well it's true.YOU are taking her to the mall AND picking her up. Save your worry for another kind of date. I mean what are they going to do have sex at the mall? In the movie? I guess she could leave the movie but she knows that we would kill her!!
Ty: JUST STOP!!
Me: (laughing)
Ty: (very pale) We need to get that kid on some birth control ASAP!!

So the time arrives. Tyler takes Reilly and a friend to the mall. Of course Reilly has gotten the time wrong so her date (Lionel) isn't there yet. Tyler VERY RELUCTANTLY leaves her with notice that he and Kam will be at the mall while Kameron is cashing in on his Vans gift card and you never know but they could get a sudden urge to go see a movie so she had better be where she is supposed to be doing what she is supposed to be doing.

So Kam picks out his new kicks and they head home after Tyler surveys the mall for any "funny business." Once home,Tyler checks the movie running time...watches the clock like a hawk...texts her during the movie...then actually CALLS THE THEATER to find out exactly when the movie gets out and then leaves early to go pick her up.

This is where it gets even more hilarious. So Tyler is skulking out in the car in the parking lot in front of the movie theater with his BINOCULARS so that he doesn't miss anything!! Luckily it was dark or he could have been reported as a real creeper. After the movie gets out, Reilly calls him, not knowing he's already in the parking lot, to ask can he pick her up a little later because they want to go to the food court and get a drink. ABSOLUTELY NOT!! He informs her that he is already there. Through his BINOCULARS he sees her looking out into the parking lot and scanning for him and gesturing to her friends. He drops the BINOCULARS and then zooms right to the front door of the theater as she and her friends are coming out still looking around for him. He makes a direct beeline for old Lionel. Luckily the kid turned out to be respectful and actually stuck out his hand for Tyler to shake and said "It's nice to meet you Sir." OH YES...Tyler really enjoyed being called Sir. A standard has just been set. And...just as he is congratulating himself for clearly setting boundaries with this boy and making him VERY AWARE that Reilly has a dad who will watch him like a hawk...and getting called Sir to boot...his 16 year old daughter walks up to this boy and lays a big ol' kiss on him. RIGHT IN FRONT OF TYLER. 

WELL...let's just say poor Tyler's got a long road ahead of him.

Thankful Day 11

I am thankful for my boy!! Happy Birthday Kameron!! He is one incredible kid and I am so blessed to be his mom. Kamers is one cool kid. I say this every year but he is so laid back and easy-going. He works hard, gets good grades, and is nice...AND he loves his mom. What more could I ask for?  I am sure that he will kick in to typical teenager-iness but right now he is pretty delightful.

Today was an awesome day. Kameron turned 12 and got the Aaronic Priesthood from his dad on his actual birthday. Pretty cool. He was so excited. He also received his Faith in God award and got a great send off from Primary. (I am still trying to wrap my mind around that fact that I will be dropping him off on Wednesday nights for YOUNG MENS!!) For some odd reason his leaving Primary was a stab in the heart to me. During his little send off I started crying and that was on the heels of crying about it a few days before!! Good grief. I think it is because I am in Senior Primary with both Kam and Ailey and have really enjoyed it. Who knows? I will clearly need sedation for his mission. Tyler, of course, is THRILLED to have HIS BOY go to Priesthood with him.

Happy Birthday to the coolest kid I know!!

I love you like crazy!!

Thankful Day 10

I am thankful that I hate the mall. I mean I REALLY hate it. I try to go as little as possible. I can't avoid it around Christmas and for Back-to-School shopping and other "once in awhiles" but if I must go I try to just run in and out as fast as possible. But by hating the mall I save quite a bit of money.

This weekend we went to the mall because Kameron and Reilly have reached the age that they would rather pick out their birthday presents instead of being surprised. Oh joy. That meant hours wandering around the mall as they mulled over what they wanted  and used their birthday gift cards from Grandma. It was hellish.

Just to prove my point of how little I go to the mall...Bryn was walking ahead of me with Tyler and she turned around to me and said "Mommy, is THIS shopping?" Ha ha. Tyler was especially proud but with three daughters he shouldn't get too excited.His luck has pretty much just run out. He also got the pleasure of waiting around for his 16 year old daughter in the Pink side of Victoria's Secret. It nearly did him in and she wasn't even buying undies. Times they are a changin'.

Thankful Day 9

I am thankful for my darling daughter Reilly. 16 years ago I became a mother and I wouldn't trade this roller coaster ride for the world. Reilly is a firecracker. She keeps things lively and exciting...and challenging. She always keeps us on our toes. She has a huge personality that fills up the room, a big heart, and a beautiful light within that shines through. She changed everything for the better with her arrival on a cold and snowy November morning. I had no idea what motherhood would entail...how much love and joy and worry and grit would be involved. Reilly has been my greatest teacher...and I am blessed to be her mother.

Thanks for driving me nuts, making me laugh, and taking my already KILLER dance moves and making them even SA--WEETER!!

Happy Sweet Sixteen Ry-Ry   

I love you!!

Thankful Day 8

I am thankful for Pinterest. It can't all be deep people. Seriously, I love Pinterest. I love having ideas, recipes, crafts, decor, clothing, hairstyles...you name it at my fingertips. I also get a little creative spark as I am inspired but don't have the time to peruse blogs and cooking and decorating magazines. Good-bye dusty scrapbooks of ideas and folders of recipes. I also get that little rush like I am buying things when in fact I am not. (I am sure Tyler appreciates that too.) To me, it is a great stress-reliever. Many nights I have pinned myself into oblivion rather than lying awake thinking about stressful and worrisome things. AND...with the creation of the "Secret Boards" it was like Christmas came early.

Happy Pinning!!

Thankful Day 7

 I am thankful for the scriptures and the comfort and guidance I find within them.

This morning was hard. For the first time since September 11, 2001 I wept for my country. Not necessarily about winners and losers...but out of frustration, and sense of hopelessness and helplessness for the future.  It's been coming for awhile but I have wanted to remain optimistic that a real change could occur and that things would get better. Now here we are at the crossroads...and the rubber is definitely meeting the road. The country is going one direction and the Johnsons are going in another. The road we will travel is not going to be easy but travel it we must. "The choices we make today determine our destiny." President Monson (2004) "Choose you this day whom ye will serve;...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

In talking to our children and answering their (and my own) why,  how come, and but I thought questions about recent events I have found the scriptures to be invaluable.

1 Nephi 11:17

"...I knoweth that He loveth His children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things."

Isaiah 49: 14-16

"But Zion said, The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. 

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. 

Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

In my own personal scripture study I am deep in the Old Testament (heaven help me) and it's hard. Thank goodness for supplemental reading to help provide understanding. I like to read in the Bible Dictionary in the back of my scriptures about the "books" of the Old Testament before I read them for some background information. I have just moved onto Ezra. So the other day I read about this book before I started reading it. In it's description it talks about how one of the teachings of the book of Ezra is that "...discipline and patience are borne of disappointment; as one expectation after another was frustrated". I found that to be an answer I was seeking personally...and then a few days later I found it to have a much larger application. Man, I hate learning discipline and patience!!

Tonight Tyler and I talked about what this all means for us...for our family. What do we do and where do we go from here? How do we go forward in a country and state whose values so clearly differ from our own. We are going to be applying the double down theory; which means...to commit oneself even further, even though one is already in a risky situation. We are going to double our efforts in all areas of spirituality, double our efforts in teaching our children, double our efforts in areas of preparedness and self-reliance, double our efforts in standing up for our beliefs, double our efforts in community involvement, double our service to others...you get the idea. All while praying without ceasing and being grateful for what we have been given.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Rejoice always, Pray without ceasing, In everything give thanks..."
  

Thankful Day 6

I am thankful for the gym. It clears my mind. I am blessed that I don't eat my stress, disappointment, frustration, anxiety and sadness or take drugs or alcohol to self-medicate. When feeling bad I exercise. Choice number one...walking and preferably in a mindless loop. It all stems back to when I was growing up and living in the dell. My friend, Naomi, and I would walk and talk for miles as we walked round and round and round the loop of the dell. We would talk about boys, family issues, problems, dreams of the future, and the gospel... you name it...we discussed it.

When I went to college it was the same. I had a walking route of several blocks and round and round I would go when worried or stressed or frustrated. It just has to be a route that I don't have to think about where I am going and where I can just get inside my head to soul search and to figure things out.

Marriage has been the same. Lucky for me there is a park near my house that has a big loop. I cannot count the miles and hours Tyler and I have logged there...usually at night, under the stars, and in every kind of weather as round and round and round we go hashing out our problems, our worries, our hopes, and our dreams. Nothing bring me more peace than this when troubled.

The gym does the same for me personally. Mindless exertion and a clearing of the head. Working out daily not only strengthens my body but it keeps my mind in a healthy place.

I am grateful for this tender mercy.

America...you made a big mistake tonight. HUGE.

And Washington State...heaven help us.